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The Talk...
Posted by HollytheHousewife • 9/03/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: Failure
I knew this was coming. I just knew it.. He wants to divorce,I knew he did.It just SUX soooooooooo bad. I'm a failure I can't even save my girls family. Forget about my cause...now I'm gonna be Holly the single mother of 2 . I guess I'm gonna go get a couple of jobs. Oh well life goes on...I'm keeping my house,and I'm not gonna ask the gov't 4 a dime!!!
Just freakin wonderful to be a stat...omg how do I talk to my babies,I promised them @ birth...I promised.... I just wanna pull the covers over my head.....
I'm gonna have to go back to cocktailing @ the boats,and dammit that's 3rd shift..well at least I'll be able to spend the girls waking. Moments with them.....
Dammit 2 hell this sux sooooooo bad
And I know I'm gonna catch hell for this thread,but I just can't sit here
Ugggghhhh
User Comments
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I'm sorry for your loss, but I wouldn't say much on this thread, Holly.
If you're heading to court, anything you say or have said here on BC could be used against you. -
I am so sorry Holly. That sucks but I know you will pull through. -
We aren't going to court. We both love our babies...I just can't stand this HORRIBLE EMPTY feeling. Its like what have I done...oh my lord I'm just so sorry to my girls.
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Ok Here is a comment from a been there and done that. It is so much better when they are out of your life. You may feel empty at first but you get over it. My ex actually asked for a divorce if I did not let my daughter go to my parents. He was tired of having her around. I left that day with my daughter and left him the house he was in. I felt do much better. I filed the paper work and we diod not go thru court at that time. We did later but he was being a butt because the state wanted to raise his Child support.
Keep every scrap of evidence against him. Put it in a folder and date it. Every time he is late with something, is rude to you about the bills he has to pay, I mean everything. I walked into court and blew him away and he still doesnt come get his daughter because of the embarrasement. His mom picks her up.If you want to talk just hollar at me I can be there to talk. and I am not that far from you either I live about 2 hours away .
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Stay focused 24/7 and be strong for your girls..that is the most important thing you can do! If you need any help at all please let me know ASAP!
Anthony -
I agree with gtally about keeping private things off the web. I also agree with Amy about keeping and documenting everything you can.
I don't know about the laws in your state, but it's a good idea for you to brush up on them. Because you've been a housewife all this time, you may be able to get spousal support as well as child support...I got it in my divorce and used it to go back to college.
My experience is like Amy's...once he was gone, my life began to improve, even if some things were a little tougher for a while.
Best of luck and above all else...KEEP A COOL HEAD! -
As a kid of divorce I can tell you it's not easy to get through. [you never really get ovet it]. For your kids sake (because I don't know this) I hope your kids are too young to remember this. It may not be easy for you, but it will be very hard on the kids.-
@exit2013 That was a little harsh! We are trying to cheer her up, not make things worse! -
Sorry...just trying to keep it real.
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I know I'm ruining their lifes. Ted is an awesome dad,we won't go through all that support crap. We know what's right. I just can't stand it for my girls. I sooooooo have screwed them over....I promised
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I'm really sorry for your lost :(( But, i'm sure it's not your fault!!! Maybe it wasn't meant to be, you are a great person, I know that I haven't always been nice too you(because of religion)
I can't say much about this, I wish I could help you more
Good luck, I mean it. -
Holly..I would like to donate my Blog Catalog site to you so that you can reach greater heights than you can ever imagine....I will give you total control over it so that you can continue moving forward on your great cause to help many people from losing their home....please accept my 5000 plus friends here and share with them your cause and may God Bless you and your 2 girls forever....Let me know ASAP if you accept my gift to you!
Anthony-
Could u stop please. This is not about promotion dude,I'm like real...u kno messing over my girls
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Oh gosh-- I am sorry. I agree with SV in that you'll want to keep in mind, you don't want to post anything online that would cause you issues with your case.
Much luck to you. -
Holly, stay strong the kids are gonna need you most now.
Wishing you the best. In due time, all will smooth out. -
Dear Holly,
I just know you for 2 days, and I'm in pain reading this. I'm so sorry for you. Take care of you, that way, you'll be able to take care of your sweeties. xx -
Yes ThriftShopRomantic and SV are right on point...you must change all your passwords to any and all of your sites that you gave to him! Do it NOW!
And never, ever give your passwords to anyone again..NO ONE!
Anthony....-
Um excuse me...I already told u we aren't kids! We are not gonna make it like that. Just STOP!
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I just ughhhhh. I wanna just scream..... I'll wake up tash tho. I just can't stand it for my babies. I am just sooooooo wrong
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Scream! If it makes you better!!
"I am just sooooooo wrong" You are so wrong?? Still blaming yourself??
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We haven't always agreed on everything but I am very sincerely sorry to hear that you are going through this.
As to the person who said that the kids won't get over it--well, there's a ton of data that shows that kids do much better coming through a divorce than they do being raised by two people who don't want to be together.
Your kids will be fine. You might want to look into counseling at school, which is free and often very helpful.
I wish you all the best, Holly. -
Holly, might I suggest that you consider talking to a counselor as soon as possible? I say this not as any kind of negative comment on your mental health, but simply because this is a very difficult process and if you are mired in ideas like "I've ruined my girls' lives" you will not be in a position to give them the help, support and consistent stability that they need to get through this and build a new life that is different but still good.
I became a single mother involuntarily and abruptly more than five years ago, and although the transition was difficult my daughter and I have a great life now and I wouldn't change a thing about it. -
I feel so wrong..
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don't
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Madame when you vow before GOD,on the alter,and then break that promise!!!!
Its the worst most failure feeling I've ever had in my life...-
Are you breaking that promise, though, Holly? I thought this wasn't something that you wanted. You can only control your own behavior.
I would point out, though, that if you really don't want to get divorced and don't believe in it, you should definitely investigate your state's laws. In some states, it's not easy to divorce an unwilling partner. -
Yea,but he wants it...idont kno. I'll be back in a little.
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cookingasshole i agree with you!
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Well y'all I think I'm gonna go running now. I gotta figure this out
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Right now everything it's bad, but with time and patient everything will become much better. You will resolve all your problems, and will be happy. Don't worry. Life is that. Good and Bad moments -
I'm so so sorry Holly! Just be strong and don't think its your fault! Try to make the best out of the situation and know that in the end everyone deserves to be happy. Sometimes to get this, you have to go through a awful situation. There is always a light in a dark period! -
sorry to hear about this Holly, but don't blame yourself ... I understand you took your vows seriously but unfortunately people change as time goes on. Try not to beat yourself up about this and do nothing but blame yourself ... Love comes, it changes and sometimes it dissipates.. You and your girls will be just fine and from what I can tell, they will still have a dad. If you can both continue to be good, loving parents things will work themselves out.
*hugs* -
Holly - I hope you get things worked out one way or another. Life often hands you obstacles or moments - where you feel like the world has just crashed in on you - and it only makes you stronger in the long run. Remember this: You can't control everyone else. Only what you are inside.
I hope it all works out and I am truly sorry - I do know what it feels like that first day - that first week - that first month and year - when you realize/hear that life is going to change. It is really a crashing blow - and can make you panic...
I'm with Madame X on these things: get counseling - if you have access to it. Not because you need it for any "crazy" reason... But because this is a super hard time and sometimes having a professional to talk it out with REALLY can help some folks. And it will give you some assistance to deal with your daughters as issues will come up. AND - also get to know your state laws right now.
You CANNOT control others - only you.
Hope for you - from me. -
well I did go back to church last sunday,and as awful as inside politics are in "religon" I felt safe. I guess that's what is gonna get me through this....IT's just sooooooooo uuuuuhggggggg,u kno
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one thing i can say is.. I have always put the FUN in disfunctional...seriously..I freakin look like marilyn manson....uuuggghhhhh
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I'm so sorry if I make yall feel bad. I am sooooooo not ready to tell my mother. How do I do this?
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This is just like the day my mom came and told me my Dad was dead...I can remeber just focusing on his Humphry Boggart dart board,and for some reason his smile gave me peace. It feels just like that...
I know GOD is trying to show me something,but I just can't get it figured out...-
i was going to reply that, but then I thought: "It's better not to, or else she maybe take it serious"
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well,I guess I'm gonna just go do something..
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do what?
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I don't honesty know, for me music helps when I'm down or confuse,
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yea,i got music.I know it's gonna be ok. I just really really really didn't want to be a stat,u know what I mean
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Yes, I'm sure it will be fine! You cannot blame yourself!!
Well, i would give you a pt music, but you don't understand it :S -
pt?
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well,I'm fixinna have to get the girls. I'm gonna take em to the park. have a pic nic. I just feel so wrong.
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have fun
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Do that, take them for a walk, have a little fun with them! Don't feel that way, its not your fault!
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I know it just realllllly suuuuuuxxxxxxxx so bad....GOD is gonna get me through,he always has and always will. It's gonna be ok
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It's gonna be ok though. I know it's gonna be ok.
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well, i don't belive in god as you know, but sometime believing in something is good, it gives us strength to overcome hard times
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I really do apprecitate yall...I really do.Everybody says divorce is the new marriage.... just joshin....I really do thank yall,GOD had yall right here right now at this particular time for me and that is a blessing! luv u guys,ever last one of you...even voodoo
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well, I disagree with that theory, I usually I'm here a lot, I just saw you with the Divorce problem, and thought I could help you, I hope I did!
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yup,GOD sent u to me,and u did help. so there
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I can't say for sure I know what you're going through, although someone I loved once abandoned me, it was hard but in time we learn to manage anger and we get by....you will be fine, dont worry too much.
All my wishes for you to overcome this. -
Holly, I only havce a quick moment and this is the only thread I've read, I haven't read the other responses because of the time issue.
I am sorry you're going through this pain and I know exactly how you feel but remember that from each bad thing can come something good. Mourn what was, cry a bit, then let's see what good we can get from this. When I get pasat this weekend I'll be here to help. You are not a failure, you haven't done anything wrong. And you CAN and will face this and good will come from it. I promise. -
Thanks y'all,I just can't fig out what is God's will for me
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Maybe you shouldn't trust God on this on...
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Hunny dew,GOD is the only thing I know
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Pois... Ok, if you really trust on him...
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Faith
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I believe GOD sent u to me @ just the right time,to say nice things. Blessings don't just grow like hostas
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Well, if it wasn't for a friend of mine, i wouldn't be here!
So, you believe in destine! -
No if it wasn't for god u wouldn't be here...u don't have to believe it,but I do....aweeeeee yalll my girls just found some baby ducklings ...they are sooooooo cute
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Cool....
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You know i don't believe, I respect you, and your believes xD
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My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19
In all things God works for the good of those who love Him…In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Rom. 8:28,37-
I don't believe in any God, and if exists, only can exist one... I believe Zeus is the true God! LOL
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M'k...
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i was just kidding! But if think well, Zeus is actually more older than Catholic God
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All the Best Holly ! you hanging their sunshine you are special ! -
I am amazed at how God has changed me, and so grateful that He has. And I am also grateful that to know that He is always here, always caring for me, no matter what I go through. What an awesome God You are, Lord! We praise You for that. In Jesus Name, amen.
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The thing is I'm nottttt. I totally couldn't keep a promise that I broke.I flodged out big time I can't force someone to stay though.I'm just ughhhh
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You're a special person though and some things happen for a reason in life!
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U know what I'm dreading more than anything....stalettos,and dirty old men ughhhhhhhh,I hate cocktailing... my feet are gonna hurt so bad,but the insurance is awesome!!
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does it cover everything and everyone
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I am sorry to hear this Holly ... I pray for God to keep you strong in this ... -
I did not understand that I could rely on Him to get me through hard things. God was using this moment to show me how much He has changed me over the years.
I know now that I can trust God, and that He will bring good for us out of all this chaos. I also know that He loves me, more deeply than I could ever imagine. -
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Isn’t God awesome to make His existence so clear to us in creation, to awe us by His creative ability, and to even leave behind His own signature on the biggest and smallest things of His creation? Praise You, awesome God!
Have a great evening Holly...and I hope everything works out for you and your girls!
Anthony
God bless you always and forever! -
This thread isn't about tony beach,would u freakin stop paaaaleaseeeee
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Holly, I'm sorry. It's very disappointing when important things in our lives don't turn out as we wish. I can only repeat what others have already said: don't blame yourself. I'm sure you went into this marriage with a loving spirit and every intention to make it work. Your God is a compassionate God and he understands, and your faith in Him will see you through. -
Thx np,very much
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I am sorry to hear this Holly Don't think of it as you doing anything wrong tho, I don't know what happened but don't blame yourself. Hang in there tho and make sure to spend a lot of time with the little ones. Try to stay strong for them and yourself as well. -
Thx y'all sooooo much. I know I'm kinda puttin y'all on the spot with this thread,I'm sorry. I just don't wanna face my family yet...
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Time is often the greatest healer...Hopefully time will somehow bring you and your husband back together... -
Well we always have hope
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Holly I am so sorry it took me so long to reply to your thread. I though you were talking about other things until I relaized what you're talking about -
Its ight...I kno u
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