Discussions
The 'Wanker' Files
Posted by melindaville • 7/31/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: dealing with idiots, first fantasy phone call service, wanker files, wankers
In the early days of the Julie’s Hotline—the world’s first fantasy phone call service, we received literally hundreds of calls each day from people who wanted phone sex for free.
We heard it all! The ones who didn't have a credit card, or who didn't want to give their credit card, who gave a fake credit card, who gave a stolen card, who wanted a free call, who wanted a sample call, who wanted . . . you get the idea.
And this is how ‘The Wanker Files’ came into existence.
For a humorous look how Julie’s (the world's first fantasy phone calls service) handled wankers, visit:
blog.melindaville.com/2009/07/31/the-wanker-files.aspx
So, my discussion questions to you are:
Have you ever created your own kind of wanker file to keep track of the morons you have to deal with on an every day basis?
Also, could your current place of business use a wanker file?
And finally, who are the wankers YOU deal with on an everyday basis?
User Comments
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In most of the places where I worked, it was much simpler (and shorter) to keep a list of good people; the rest were presumed "wankers" until proven otherwise.
At the present time, the "wankers" I deal with tend to be government funding agencies, who tend not to see the value in humanities and arts, even though a lack of historical perspective and understanding of human qualities is certainly a contributing factor to many of our current problems.-
I definitely hear you on the government workers--we have a boatload of politician wankers and the like here, as you well know!
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I'm a government worker! My office has a rivalry with another govt office. we are constantly trying to out-wanker each other
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*sticks a pin through her lips to keep them shut*
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Did you read my article? Come on, Epi! It's all good fun. I mean, those days are over--but this is all for fun!
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hahaha
The wankers I used to have to deal with are no more. They were called clients and they liked to criticize every thing you do.
Can you give me a 3D rendering for free by tomorrow? (no, it takes about 40 man hours to create a rendering and it was not in your contract)
I decided not to move my business. Thanks for all your help for the past 6 months. Sorry it didn't work out. (no,you still have to pay me)
I know I said I wouldn't make any more changes, but I am just really not happy with this plan. Can we start all over? (no, we would have to draw up a new contract and fee)
What do you mean I have to wait for my permit? I already started construction! (Well, we don't control the city and you better pray the building inspector doesn't come by because they will make you take everything down.)-
I think a strong criterion for 'wankerdome' is that you have to want a bunch of stuff for nothing.
And that was definitely the basis for being forever dubbed a 'wanker' at Julie's.
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While I can't talk about the current (ahem) challenges of my workplace, I can talk about my old job.
Mine wasn't so much a list as memorable individuals.
My favorite was a sales guy I had to work with. He sold software.
Every time I sent him an emailed attachment, time would pass and then I'd find out he was telling people I never sent the document to him.
This became a problem because my boss would then scream at me publicly for supposedly not sending.
Finally, I sent the tech guys over to look at his email. I was sending, he was not receiving. I had email proof.
Turned out, for over SIX MONTHS he had been filtering ALL the email document attachments out through his own email settings. He'd accidentally clicked something and never noticed.
Six months. The guy sold SOFTWARE and couldn't work his email.
Later, we found out he also didn't know how to download email attachments.
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Wow--he might get the prize for the biggest douchebag of all time. He's beyond wankerdome--he's a wankering douchebag. King of the wankers!
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It was like not being able to read, but trying to cover it up.
I don't mind people not knowing stuff. But trying to frame me to help compensate is not cool.
Of course, this was also the guy who felt we should give away a bicycle at our software tradeshow booth. -
Ooooh TSR - one thing I CANNOT stand is other people who:
PUT PEOPLE down - just to make themselves look better.
To me - that is one of the lowest forms of humanity.
OOooh --- or those that say: Hey look at her messing up - ignore my big mess up here --- But LOOK --- Over there - AT HER --- See what horrible stuff she is doing? (Nevermind that I've just screwed this up - go look at her messy desk... etc.) -
Yup, WW, that's the thing. The irony is, I would have actually HELPED him if I'd known he didn't understand the email system.
But nope. Couldn't be that simple.
PS- How did YOU know I have a horribly messy desk? (I really do, too!) -
TSR--he sounds like a major moron. Unfortunately, there is far too much of that everywhere these days. I sometimes think the morons are taking over the planet!
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Nah, Melinda, they're just vocal.
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Thank God--sometimes I feel there's only a few of us who survived the past few decades with our brain cells relatively intact.
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Oooh - I have a list o' wankers a mile long.
However - I figure what comes around goes around.
So - I figure - my listing them was me just spending more time on them that they did not deserve. so *poof* went my list - and I rarely think about them, unless it's something to bring a smile to my face...
But I have to tell you... My ex hubby was a real wanker. (nice guy - but a real wanker.)-
LOL--you hubby was a literal wanker? To each his own--but I always thought that marriage put an end to a lot of *necessary* wanking.
Our wankers were mostly used for entertainment purposes--which is why they weren't more irritating. -
OMG - *blush* (rare for me) - I didn't even put two and two together...
LMAO!
Oh sheesh.
Yeah - he was a wanker tho... Both ways... -
Hee hee hee!
Well, WW--he IS your ex! Hopefully the new Mr. WagerWitch has got his bizzness straight. Word!
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At my old blog, I started handing out the "golden cock award" to people like this. I run into quite a few "wankers" on a daily and may have to start that back up at the new blog.-
Ooooh! I love that! 'The Golden Cock Award!' We could have used that at Julie's back in the day!
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I can only imagine.
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We used to have a receptionist that did things like put on deodorant and eat cereal at the front desk. Now there's the sort of impression you want to make.-
Ha ha ha! You really truly made me bust out laughing.
Please tell me she did this when customers were present? I just love hearing stories of extremely stupid people. What can I say? I'm easily amused! -
I was your receptionist?
LMAO - Nah - I mean - I'll pretty much do whatever I want - but very professionally in a laid back way. If I'm hungry - I'll eat darnit.
However...
I'd usually duck out of everyone's viewing to douse the armpits tho. -
She did these sorts of things whenever she felt the need, regardless of the presence or absence of customers. A snack at the desk is fine. We all keep crackers and fruit on our desks. But a bowl of cereal is best kept away from your computer and important paperwork, not to mention requiring two hand to eat and thus eliminating the ability to do anything else for twenty minutes.
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LOL, legbamel--cereal is not exactly a desk snack, is it? Ha ha ha.
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The last time I worked in an office, we had this woman we got to know as 'triathalon' -- it was because she was about 40 pounds overweight and wore REALLY TIGHT underpants with REALLY tight, THIN clothes on top of the underwear. And you could see
Three
Distinct
Lines
Hence the name--triathalon. She was a trip. -
I just like saying 'wanker'! LOL!
But seriously, I thought 'wanker' was an insult...at least in England.-
If you read my article (it IS shameful blog promotion here, folks!), then you will see, it *is* an insult.
Although the term 'wanking off' is something that is done--quite like 'beating off' is done here.
But I did originally create the concept of 'Wanker Files' because I did love saying Wanker!
Wankerwankerwanker! there!
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My ex-boss would be classified as a wanker then. He wanted us to work, at least, 12 hours a day, paying us for 4. He would call after 9 pm to check who was still in the lab, also on weekends. He said everything took 5 minutes to finish, even if it was a gel that took 9 hours to run. He expected us to thank him for government-mandated salary raises, etc.-
He sounds like a criminal wanker (that doesn't sound legal)!
I have worked for bosses like that before though--the only good thing about them is that you really appreciate a nicer boss when you run across one!
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ok. I do have a wankers file of sorts, though it is kept only in my head. BUT I have to step in and say a few words on behalf of government employees. (I am one btw). There are Many of us who are in public service even though we could make more money in the private sector due to our genuine commitment to serving the people of our communities. There are bad eggs in Every basket. Please don't single out government employees with a broad brush. it's not accurate.-
You are absolutely right, libdrone--there are so many government workers who *are* doing a great job. My mom was one of them--she could have made oodles more money if she'd worked in the private sector, but she became a public servant and did so much good for both her community and our country
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@melinda
- I laughed all the way through your post and left you a comment. I hope everyone else here from BC is posting the comments they make above to your blog too so your readers who aren't BC members can enjoy them.
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Thanks TT. You know I ♥ you!
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- I &hearts you too funny lady. I'm so happy you choose to be my friend. I too have a "wanker" file but I can't share from it because I work under contracts with non-disclosure clauses and the "wankers" were clients.
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There were a few wankers at a previous job of mine. Managers with no grip on reality who would make absolutely asinine promises on your behalf and then expect you to make them reality, or barging into your office asking you to stay for 6 hours of overtime just as you were packing up to go home. A week before I quit I got a job offer from the CEO. He wondered if I was interested in starting up a new office and offered me a salary that was *lower* than the one I had.-
Ugh! I have definitely worked with some of those same people! I agree, in the file with 'em!
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I thought that the whole point of phone sex was for people to wank to...
In the custodial trade, we don't really deal with wankers first hand... just what they leave behind*
*in full disclosure I've never acually had to deal with wanking deposits. There is a lot of flaky dried infant rice cereal in restrooms though... yeah that's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night...
jk -
YIKES! But thank you so much for the great laugh! ha ha ha ha. Who knew?
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i never really have had to clean any up... that I know of.
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And well, that's kind of the nice thing about phone sex too. It's not messy--it IS legal--and you can't get any of those nasty mojo diseases either.
I really felt we were kind of doing a service to the public. -
"you can't get any of those nasty mojo diseases"
unless you use a pay phone
I don't have any problem with people using phone sex, I just never understood the appeal... kinda like strippers... developing a personal connection? Bleck! who needs it
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Too much reading... brain overloaded...-
You're missing a funny story about phone sex! But then, you can wait till my book comes out. It's all in the book!
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I'll read it. But it's been a looooong day. I had to spend most of the day using a wire brush to clean up some mineral deposits on some brick walls o.o
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...if books don't overload said brain...
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Oh boy - how much time have you got?
Having worked in the restaurant industry for as long as I did, I have more than a few wankers in he filing cabinet -
Did you spit in their food?
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@still
- Did you spit in their food?
That cracked me up.
P.S. Your new avatars are so cool. -
Thanks TT!
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speaking of avatars, i love your new pick timethief. an ST didn't
you change your avatar previously just yesterday? -
I changed it at the beginning of the week. I like this one better. Beehive!
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I plead the fifth - but I will leave everyone with a great tip, straight from me to you.
Do not abuse the waitstaff. We see your food first.
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Great blog post Melindaville! I am going to create my own "Wanker File"!!
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