Discussions

Things we've learned from films and tv shows

Posted by Epicharis • 6/27/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: films, fun, TV Shows

-You can only hear helicopters when you can see them.

-A single match can light up an entire room.

-Murderers can walk as fast as normal people can run.

Add your own...

User Comments

6/27/09

Stillthinking

Murderers always have a key to the house when the babysitter is alone.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  roentarre
  
  You are so right there!
6/27/09

Epicharis

The more important you are the longer it takes you to die from bullet or stab wounds.

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6/27/09

celticmusicfan

The actors don't get shot at.People are always stupid to walk on a bait ,when you keep on saying 'don't go there'! that's where they go.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Really attractive women survive longer than moderately attractive ones.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

Women always fall over when being chased or are running away from something.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

There is always a body in the bathtub.

[reply]
1. 6/28/09
  
  IndigoWrath
  
  And if there isn't, there's always something imaginary.
6/27/09

Stillthinking

If you're brushing your teeth alone at night, don't look in the mirror.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

It is never an inappropriate time to have sex. No matter how busy you are, or how many lives there are at stake, there is always time.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  or how many other people's blood is all over you...
6/27/09

Stillthinking

There is no such thing as erasable white marker boards. They are all translucent and directly in the path of travel.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

All female doctors are really pretty.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Even if you only have 4 hours to save the planet there is time to create a powerpoint presentation for your plan.

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6/27/09

celticmusicfan

a jock smiles and music starts...people walk in slow motion.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The louder the music is, the sadder you should be.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

the hot girl will see past the geeky guys looks and hook up with him after he performs an act of heroism.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

sex that lasts 12 seconds is still great sex.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If you're really old and bitter, you will die within 15 minutes.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Women always want to talk about the relationship problems when the world is at stake.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

You can get shot, knifed, beat up and left for dead, but your hair and your teeth will always be perfect.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

you will always have the phone number of the person that you want to reach

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Forensic investigators will be able to tell cause of death from little more than a toe, a rusty nail, and some spit.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Your oldest friend will always betray you.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The sexy secretary is after your husband.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

murderers will always confess to their crime despite there being no evidence that would stand up in court or even allow for an arrest.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

you wake up in the morning looking awesome

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6/27/09

Epicharis

It's refreshing to have water in your eyes while you shower

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  hahahahaha!
6/27/09

Stillthinking

When you drink coffee or wine, your lipstick will never come off.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  unless there's a forensic team likely to look at your glass later on.
6/27/09

Epicharis

The way to kill the seemingly invincible creature is either something you talked about earlier, or something you happen to have to hand.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If all else fails, throw water on it.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Sleeping with your patient is perfectly acceptable.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Being stranded on a desert island with no supplies will in no way prevent you from shaving your legs or underarms

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  Hahahahaha!
2. 6/27/09
  
  wagerwitch
  
  Oh wait - you missed the fact that there is PERFECT makeup and hair on deserted islands.
6/27/09

Stillthinking

Even if the husband is a fat, stupid, wisecracking slob, the wife will be smoking hot and moderately intelligent. (sitcom rule #1)

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Straight men in gay bars will feel very very uncomfortable being hit on by people they aren't interested in, but will not remember the incident when they are around a few lesbians the next day.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

pale skinned vampires with big hair can blend into normal school life without being sent to the nurse

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Everyday you show up to work, some really strange is going to happen.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

It's totally ok to ruin someone's wedding as long as you are expressing your feelings.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Tramps give great advice

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6/27/09

Agit8r

There are definitively good and evil people... and you can tell them apart by how they look

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6/27/09

Epicharis

English people are total bastards

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Nazis spoke perfect Queen's English with an occasional "Achtung!" and "Heil"

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Psst! The guy with the checked scarf and a missile launcher is a terrorist.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  hahahahahaaahahaha
6/27/09

Epicharis

no one ever willingly has sex with someone who isn't a model

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The riskiest plan always works

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Heather Graham really is a hooker with a heart of gold

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6/27/09

Epicharis

gut instinct trumps all evidence

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Drilling on a moving asteroid gets easier if you swear really loud.

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6/27/09

Agit8r

nice guys can get laid by attractive and popular girls

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Everyone at high school is at least 25

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If you have a close group of friends for a number of years one of you will die of cancer

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Lesbianism is never permanent, only convenient.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  hahahahaha
6/27/09

Epicharis

Capable people never stand still and talk, they are always on the move when they talk to a rookie and there is always something they need to throw at the rookie when the conversation is over.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

When your best friend gets a hunting rifle for his 16th birthday, he will shoot himself with it.

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6/27/09

Agit8r

nobody but the action hero will have any survival instinct whatsoever

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The one person you don't trust will be one to sacrifice himself for your survival.

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6/27/09

Agit8r

People need to be led around by a tall attractive male

...and no I wasn't trying to get political v_v

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6/27/09

Epicharis

in a battle with tens of thousands of men everyone fights duels and the leaders will always find each other.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The middle-aged balding man in the group is a coward and will sell you all out only to be killed anyway.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Makeovers will make you a better person.

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6/27/09

TigerXtrm

- Every phone number starts with 555

- Always have a plan B, because plan A never works.

- You can hear explosions in space.

- Video forensics can sharpen even the most blurry, cell phone quality pictures to a point where the close up of the original picture could have been taken by a high definition camera.

- Your life is over the second you marry.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

women require grand gestures to make up for misunderstandings that weren't the guy's fault. This is entirely reasonable.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The more you hate your parents, the more likely it is that one of them will die unexpectedly and you will have to take a long road trip in which you contemplate your entire autobiography and have sex with strangers.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Bill Murray is very depressed.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

You can be in a big room with lots of people and still be entirely alone-in slow motion.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Judges are always biased

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The woman you're sleeping with is the killer

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6/27/09

Epicharis

if someone really gets on your nerves because she is uptight and you are laid back, you will be in love by the end of the day.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Small towns are always ominous and have lots of secrets.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

All rich and successful performers are heartless and cruel

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6/27/09

Friday13

Teenagers look like twentysomethings, live on their own and their parents are sometimes rarely seen.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Boarding schools are constantly subject to student uprisings

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Rich girls are always mean.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Artificial intelligence is a bad idea

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The thing in the basement, is not as scary as the thing in the attic.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Traveling to the past to give yourself winning lottery numbers never works.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

When you're being chased by homicidal maniacs, Splitting up is never a good idea.

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6/27/09

dbowles1017

The crazy old man you laughed at, is always right.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

After a really traumatizing series of events and facing certain death, the moment of calm before the ax murderer crashed through the door is the right time to propose to your girlfriend.

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6/27/09

Friday13

If a woman is walking walking around in her underwear at night, she's either about to have sex or get brutally murdered. Or the former followed by the latter.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  or she has just escaped from the lair of a maniac serial killer.
2. 6/27/09
  
  Friday13
  
  Or all of the above, combined.
3. 6/27/09
  
  JonnyDunMind
  
  or...... no.
  I shall refrain
6/27/09

cathy13

There is no such thing as morning breath

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're not particularly attractive, chances are you'll die.

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6/27/09

cathy13

The cop 2 days from retirement WILL BE KILLED!

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6/27/09

cathy13

I learned that Angela Lansbury should have talked to OJ

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you go grocery shopping, there must always be some bread or lettuce sticking out of the grocery bag. Otherwise, you didn't buy anything.

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6/27/09

JonnyDunMind

That there is no spoon.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

British accents make everything sound classy.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If its on PBS, it must be true.

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6/27/09

Friday13

A shaky camera will make everything more realistic.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

if you're at war and show a photo of your wife and child back home, you will die

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6/27/09

cathy13

College professors are letcherous

High school principals are stupid and it's okay to terroize them ( you will be cool)

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6/27/09

cathy13

If you don't have a name and you go on a dangerous mission....you die

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you joke around too much, you will likely die first.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Singing and dancing on the street is totally natural.

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6/27/09

Friday13

When surrounded by dead people, chances are you'll turn into one of them and start dancing.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The worse you sing, the more convinced you are that you're the next American Idol.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

When singing in public, people can join in on the song and already know the words

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Friday13
  
  And the steps, if you're dancing.
6/27/09

Friday13

If you're the lead character, feel free to crash your car as much as you want. Most you'll get is a bruise right above your eye.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  dsriharsha
  
  or a complete facial collapse(cf: Vanilla sky)
6/27/09

Stillthinking

If you tell off your boss, you'll get a promotion.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

It's really easy to fall in love when you're competing against 20 other women for one man.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If you've been in a big fight and have cuts and bruises you will respond like a child when a sexy woman puts savlon on it for you

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6/27/09

dsriharsha

Every person who looks ugly is a beautiful person inside (cf: Shallow Hal)

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6/27/09

Friday13

Don't worry about the self-destruct mechanism or that door/gate that's closing itself. You'll get away just in time.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Risking the lives of dozens of people in order to try and save one guy who may or may not be alive is not stupid, it's the right thing to do.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The countdown always slows down just as it reaches 3-2-1.

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6/27/09

Friday13

When deactivating a bomb, wait until the last second to change your mind about which wire to cut. Otherwise, BOOM!

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

When the apocalypse is approaching, one man can save the entire world by sacrificing himself.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If you say that there is only 4 minutes until the bomb goes off you will actually have 15 minutes...the bomb will wait for you before doing the last 10 seconds.

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6/27/09

Friday13

You can look like someone else (perhaps a wanted criminal) with a little bit of plastic surgery.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Capes on superheroes is a really bad idea.

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6/27/09

Friday13

If the seemingly crazy man says there is something on the wing, there is something on the wing.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

Disasters only happen to manhattan island

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The government will stop at nothing to prevent embarrassing information about senators coming to light.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Only an American can save the world.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  Hell yeah!
6/27/09

Stillthinking

If you think you're being followed, turn right three times. If the car is still behind you, gun it across a busy intersection. You'll be fine. For now.

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're running from a crazy psycho, forget about closing doors, especially if they're made of wood. The psycho will cut through it!

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6/27/09

Sam1982

The good guy always wins

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If you run upstairs, instead of out the door, you will still survive as long as you are female and pretty.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If you can see ghosts feel free to talk to them in public, if someone looks at you quizzically say something that makes you look weirder than if you'd said you talk to ghosts.

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6/27/09

Friday13

When using the computer, there will be a Google-like search engine with the exact thing you're looking for right at the top of the results.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

You can fly across the Atlantic in a helicopter without refueling

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If you meet someone called Jessica Fletcher you are either going to die or go to jail for murder.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

California is the best place on earth *gags*

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're a superhero, wearing glasses and making up a bunch of excuses (for being late, etc.) is more than enough to avoid suspicion.

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6/27/09

wagerwitch

Sex is ALWAYS perfect, clean, romantic and beautifully choreographed. And obviously there is no leftover mess to clean up before they rush off to save the world.

Oh - and no one ever takes a crap any where.

(except on JackAss...)

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you and a group of friends (or just your significant other) stay in a cabin deep in the woods, chances are you'll all be dead by dawn ... unless you're Bruce Campbell.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If things start to look alternate reality-ish you can check by turning around to see if either Tasha Yar or Major Kawalsky are there.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  OMG, was that a Next Generation reference? You dork.
2. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  hahaha! don't deny the nerdiness...everyone secretly enjoys Star Trek...
6/27/09

Stillthinking

Months of training for an athletic event really is just a few minutes of montage.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

Taking a red pill will change reality as you know it

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6/27/09

Friday13

If the movie starts with a couple getting engaged, chances are one of them will fall in love and ultimately run off with the other one's cousin/sibling/parent at the end.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Guns don't need time to reload and while your enemies can never hit you because of your crazy, flying through the air coolness, you never miss.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

Wearing leather doesn't restrict your ass kicking moves at all

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6/27/09

Friday13

Take your chances leaping from one building to the other, or across a chasm. You will make it, even by grabbing on with just one hand.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Dark sunglasses don't inhibit your night time vision at all.

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're going to cross a suspension (rope) bridge, better be prepared: it will either fall on its own (just your luck!) or the bad guys will cut the ropes.

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6/27/09

Sam1982

Americans are the most expensive tourists to torture and kill

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The ancient, secret temple in the cave that stood for thousands of years is going to collapse just after you make it out.

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're caught by the bad guys, they'll torture you for just long enough that you can get rescued.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Everyone is a triple-agent

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If forced to choose the holy grail from a lineup, it's the cup that Jesus drank from.

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6/27/09

Friday13

You can survive a nuclear bomb by hiding in a lead-lined fridge.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If you return the head of an alien to its body it will set your head on fire as a thank you

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6/27/09

Epicharis

(We've gone a bit Indy all of a sudden!)

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  The temple one is in multiple movies though granted, the holy grail one is definitely Indy.
6/27/09

Stillthinking

God always wears a white suit.

[reply]
1. 6/29/09
  
  freshtunesfinland
  
  Or God is Alanis Morisette
6/27/09

Epicharis

Bodyguards are only capable of preventing people from warning the president about a killer, they will be completely oblivious to the sniper.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

God and the Devil are good mates

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

It is totally possible to scam Vegas 3 times.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The toughest guy in prison is inexplicably also the least able to defend himself...

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6/27/09

Epicharis

hotdog vendors are jerks

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're pinned down and are about to get killed, there will always be something nearby that you can use to hit/stab/shoot the killer.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If everyone in a busy bar suddenly turns into a vampire all the humans will know exactly what to do

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Impenetrable, maximum security prisons are actually pretty easy to escape from.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

All millionaires live in glass houses

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

In the event of a zombie plague, the safest place to go is a shopping mall.

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're about to get shot point-blank in the head, and no one can save you, either the gun will have no bullets left, or it will be jammed.

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6/27/09

hersoncastillo

All glass houses have ghosts or evil spirits in them.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

People are constantly being employed to do very important jobs despite having no experience but because they show attitude.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If you see one of these landmarks at the beginning of a movie, it's going to get blown up later: White House, Statue of Liberty, Golden Gate Bridge.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

all secret facilities are in plain sight

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6/27/09

hersoncastillo

If you have Will Smith in a movie, you know it will be a blockbuster hit. (Except for Wild Wild West).

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6/27/09

Friday13

If a new person or someone who was previously mean shows up and starts being nice to the point of being everyone's favorite friend, they probably have a terminal illness.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

you can buy all of the high-tech equipment needed to break into top security facilities without raising any suspicions.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

People have a say in who their exes date, befriend, work with, live with etc.

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you're over 50 and in a disaster movie, forget it: you're going to die. Only the young ones make it.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  But the old plucky one won't die until ten minutes before the rest are rescued.
6/27/09

Epicharis

There is an easily available gadget that can open pin-operated locks within a few seconds but none of the people who use the locks know about it.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The mayor is hiding something

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Friday13
  
  That's not just in movies
6/27/09

Friday13

If you find yourself in a desert, or the North/South pole, don't waste any time walking around. Pass out as soon as possible and you'll wake up in some village, being taken care of by a good looking young villager of the opposite sex, or an old blind person.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If your giant ocean liner is hit by an iceberg, you cannot escape the boat unless you go down into the section of the ship with rising water, locked doors, and electric cabling sparking dangerously.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Friday13
6/27/09

Epicharis

doing science makes bad things happen

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

If dancing is forbidden, a plucky teenager from out of town is going to throw a prom.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  scrap that! if the town is conservative it will be given a new lease of life by the new-comer who challenges their interpretation of the bible!
6/27/09

Stillthinking

Your nanny actually wants to steal your family.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

Any kind of disfigurement will turn you into a complete psychopath and possibly make you dress in strange cat-suits...

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

Your cat is actually observing you to report back to the her master, THE DEVIL!

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  That's true actually.
2. 6/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  My cat does watch me a lot.
3. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  You'll all be listening to me when the revolution comes, won't you! When I'm leading the resistance against the Catzis...then you'll all listen to me!
4. 6/29/09
  
  scifigene
  
  You made that sound like it was a bad thing...
6/27/09

Stillthinking

Any kind of theme park is going to rise up and kill you.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

If you make fun of a guy who invents things he will invent something to kill you

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The nerdy guy in high school will come back to the reunion totally hot and wealthy, out for vengeance sex with you, his high school crush.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The woodland creatures will help you but the trees will try to kill you.

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6/27/09

Stillthinking

The scariest things in the woods are giant spiders.

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6/27/09

Epicharis

if you're backing away from something you will walk straight into something worse

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you've knocked out the killer, and the only keys are in his/her pocket or hand, reaching for them will result in the killer waking up and grabbing your hand.

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6/27/09

jeremyjanson

Chuck Norris can beat anything.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  dsriharsha
  
  not Jack Bauer
2. 6/27/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  YES HE CAN!
3. 6/27/09
  
  dsriharsha
  
  Jack Bauer kicks Chuck Norris' ass 24X6 (He rests on the Sabbath)
4. 6/27/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  He rests on the sabbath? What a GOOD GUY!
5. 6/27/09
  
  dsriharsha
  
  you mean.. what a GOD guy? (he is the only one who really rests on the sabbath.. you see)
6. 6/27/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  That's interesting. What passage does that come from?
7. 6/27/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  zzzzzzzzzzzzz
8. 6/27/09
  
  dsriharsha
  
  the same passage from which you predicted my fatal accident next week..
  
  It sayeth.. Harsha haveth a fatal accident next weeketh. And also, Jack Bauer ruleth.. he be the coolest of the mostest and so be the God
9. 6/27/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  I didn't predict that from the bible dsriharsha. I predicted that from the hit man I hired on Tuesday to cut your brake line... Ooops! I'll have to tell him to stage a different accident!
10. 6/27/09
  
  dsriharsha
  
  once again you showeth your great wit..
  As the great Rowan Atkinson said(paraphrased)
  "Thy One liners are as great as Thy Lord's magic tricks"
6/27/09

Epicharis

Learning that someone close to you has died just before you go on stage will make you the best actor/singer the world has ever known!

[reply]
6/27/09

Friday13

If your life is perfect at the start of the film, something will happen to turn that around.

[reply]
6/27/09

Epicharis

if you have a child he/she will be kidnapped at some point

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6/27/09

Epicharis

The nice old couple who help you while you're on the run will die and it will be your fault

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6/27/09

Friday13

If you end up in a wheelchair after an accident/attack and doctors say it's permanent, you will definitely walk again.

[reply]
6/27/09

Friday13

If your flashlight's batteries run out, prepare to die.

[reply]
1. 6/27/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  You'll be killed by the energizer bunny!
6/28/09

harveyavatar

Those who watch a lot of TV shows have a warped sense of reality, even though they believe they can fully distinguish virtuality from reality.

[reply]
1. 6/28/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  Something I've learned from BC:
  People who worship Aristotle have no sense of humour and are unpleasant for the sake of it.
2. 6/28/09
  
  harveyavatar
  
  I'm not being unpleasant, I answered the OP mostly according to my observations outside of this forum.
  
  This should not be surprising, the television syncs your brain waves into alpha mode which corresponds to a state of slight hypnosis - ideal to slip in subliminal messaging (or overt).
  
  Further, if I worship something it is realism, not such and such a person.
3. 6/28/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  This is supposed to be a fun and humorous thread, which you'd know if you'd read any of it before posting.
4. 6/28/09
  
  harveyavatar
  
  hahaha (thanks for the cue)! Come to think of it, my comment is quite humorous (truth is often humorous), some of you watch much too much TV!!
  
  PS you can have the last word, since that is how you function.
5. 6/28/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  And the last word is 'wanker'
6/28/09

Epicharis

If you're famous enough you can outrun a dinosaur

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6/28/09

Epicharis

you might have received injuries that have killed other people instantly, but if the bad guy is about to win you will have just enough life left in you half an hour later to kill him.

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6/28/09

cathy13

NEVER EVER SAY....."What could possibly go wrong?"

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6/28/09

Stillthinking

The holiest man in the room is the also the biggest hypocrite.

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6/28/09

Stillthinking

I learned how to count cards.

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6/28/09

Stillthinking

Expelliarmus!

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6/28/09

Epicharis

all the scientists in the world are no match for a working class guy with good old-fashioned know-how

[reply]
6/28/09

Stillthinking

Why have a little explosion when you have a really big one!

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

If they set the explosion run like hell and jump for safety, if you set the explosion to kill your enemy feel free to walk away as slowly as possible.

[reply]
1. 6/29/09
  
  scifigene
  
  Of course, all explosives make a nice helpful beep beep sound that gets faster when they're about to blow. Some even have helpful LED displays as well.
6/28/09

Stillthinking

Everything can be hacked using a smart phone.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

Evil geniuses only employ people with an IQ of less than 70

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6/28/09

Stillthinking

The safest place on the planet is the torch of the Statue of Liberty.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

Aliens like to blow up notable landmarks even if they hold no strategic value

[reply]
1. 6/28/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  hahaha
6/28/09

Stillthinking

The same musical code that summons aliens also unlocks safes.

[reply]
6/28/09

IndigoWrath

Henchmen always have some idiosyncratic feature like metal teeth, a mechanical arm, or a deadly hat.

[reply]
6/28/09

Stillthinking

You must invest in matching uniforms for your henchmen.

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6/28/09

deoangel

-Someone will always ask "Whose There?"

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6/28/09

Stillthinking

If you are being murdered at home, screaming really loud will do no good because your neighbors will be conveniently be gone.

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6/28/09

wagerwitch

Nobody has bad breath.

[reply]
6/28/09

wagerwitch

Bad Guys always ask for ONE Miiiilllllllion Dollars.

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6/28/09

Stillthinking

Love is instantaneous.

[reply]
6/28/09

Stillthinking

If you get pregnant after a one night stand with a total douche bag, chances are you will fall in love with him by the time the baby comes.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

Being 8 months pregnant doesn't interfere with school work.

[reply]
6/28/09

WillIAm2009

The good guy never has to reload there guns, even if they shoot a 1000 bullets!

Even if there are 20 baddies firing semi-autos they always seem to miss

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

You should never ever ever be a veteran cop or soldier about to retire/be sent home from the front lines. You will die gruesomely and heart wrenching-ly within minutes of your introduction to the audience.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

Never underestimate the moody guy who always sits in the shadows, he will save your life.

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6/28/09

omiller

Sex takes more than 30 seconds.

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

Any problem can be solved in a matter of minutes with an up tempo song and a photo montage.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

If your pet is your only friend it will be killed in a really horrible way

[reply]
1. 6/28/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  This is bad news for me
2. 6/29/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  I'm your friend!
6/28/09

Friday13

If you're a Power Ranger, you must always dress the same color and hang out with the same group of (Ranger) friends. No one will ever suspect.

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

No matter how sophisticated or invincible the alien or science fiction ship, it will explode in the vacuum of space exactly like a gasoline bomb.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

If you're walking in a dark tunnel or hallway, make sure to follow the pack of rats that suddenly run in the opposite direction. They're running away from the [bleep!] monster that will [bleep!] kill you!

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

If you are a hardened alcoholic or smoker, you can have an epiphany, then pour out your booze/throw away your cigarettes and you're CURED! You'll never do it again.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

The bad guy who's been after you for a very long time will put you in a very escapable situation instead of killing you right away.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

Spaceships are Windows compatible

[reply]
1. 6/28/09
  
  gtally
  
  Or Mac Compatible (Independence Day).
6/28/09

Friday13

If the bad guy/gal is better looking than you, you can be sure that he/she will die, most likely in an explosion (a bomb that was meant for you!) or impaled by something.

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

If you are the good guy, it's OK to steal a car in an emergency because there will never be any consequences.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

If you're the good guy, and your one-night stand or girlfriend from 15-20 years ago shows up, it's probably to let you know that she had your child.

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

All indigenous peoples are automatically wise shamans and spirit guides who just can't wait to help out the white good guy in his quest. Or they're trying to kill him to stop him from taking the treasure.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

Even in the most remotely and eternally hidden village, there will be someone who speaks English.

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

Torture and severe beatings of bad guys is A-Okay, if done by the protagonist when the clock is ticking on some disaster.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

Even the geekiest/dorkest/nerdiest person can look a million times better just by taking of his/her glasses. That's the biggest part of the makeover.

[reply]
6/28/09

gtally

Childhood trauma will inevitably turn you into one helluva kickass super-hero.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

You can fall from great heights without getting hurt.

[reply]
6/28/09

Stillthinking

Having a secret identity is not a multiple personality disorder, its an asset.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

If you're possessed by a demon, you can turn your head 360 degrees and your neck won't break.

[reply]
6/28/09

Stillthinking

If you dive into the atmosphere from a platform in space, you won't burn up because it would ruin the story.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

You can completely destroy your house with the aid of loud guns without your neighbours calling the police.

[reply]
6/28/09

Friday13

If your dog is barking at something you can see, you'd best start running.

[reply]
1. 6/28/09
  
  Friday13
  
  I screwed up. It's something you can't see.
  
  (also, bump)
6/28/09

Stillthinking

If you're hiding under the bed and being totally quiet, it will never occur to the killer to check down there for you.

[reply]
6/28/09

Epicharis

despite the fact that forensic scientists wear normal clothes and have their hair loose they never contaminate the crime scene.

[reply]
6/28/09

Stillthinking

No matter how much you clean up the crime scene, they will always be able to find it smeared all over the place with a blacklight.

[reply]
1. 6/29/09
  
  JaydenVasara
  
  and yet i keep watching CSI....gotta love it
6/29/09

joreel

The police are always the last one to arrive..

[reply]
6/29/09

scifigene

Even if you're just a regular guy, the first time someone threatens you you suddenly develop martial arts skills.

[reply]
6/29/09

scifigene

If you suck the air out of a vacuum chamber everyone inside becomes weightless.

[reply]
6/29/09

ariwat

The car that just passed you might be able to transform, so don't flip them off.

[reply]
6/29/09

scifigene

You can totally disguise your identity by wearing tiny goggles that just go around your eyes.

[reply]
6/29/09

scifigene

If the eight-year old says he's invented a time machine, chances are he has. Especially if no-one's listening.

[reply]
6/29/09

JaydenVasara

that when sentimental music starts, your dad is about to walk in and teach you an important life lesson

[reply]
6/29/09

wagerwitch

You look absolutely beautiful after having a baby - all trim and perfect.

[reply]
6/29/09

wagerwitch

No matter how much you get taken out on dates - you will stay completely thin.

[reply]
6/29/09

wagerwitch

You WILL wake up looking gorgeous

[reply]
6/29/09

wagerwitch

Your mascara NEVER runs when you cry - and your nose never ever drips really gross snotty stuff... And You'll ALWAYS look beautiful when you cry... Poignantly sad...

[reply]
6/29/09

wagerwitch

Cheerleaders can save the world.

[reply]
6/29/09

scifigene

The Accessibility Large Text setting on Windows is really for all computers in movies.

[reply]
6/29/09

scifigene

Whatever you watch on TV in the morning, you will have to re-enact in order to save the world in the afternoon - so pay attention.

[reply]
6/29/09

scifigene

But don't worry, the bad guys always have poor aim. Even if they're packing shotguns and Vulcan cannons you'll probably just get a few minor grazes.

[reply]
6/29/09

Epicharis

Europeans and Russians seeking vengeance for the murder of a relative or lover must be stopped, but Americans or Mexicans doing it are totally justified.

[reply]
6/29/09

cathy13

A "good guys" gun never runs out of ammo

[reply]
6/29/09

WillIAm2009

Sex for the first time is cute and lasts forever!

[reply]
6/29/09

ThriftShopRomantic

Jack Bauer never ever needs to take a pee break.

[reply]
6/29/09

millifan

Never speak of your master plan to take over the world to early.

[reply]
6/29/09

Friday13

When you turn the TV on, there will be a news report about something/someone related to you, especially if you got a call about it just before.

[reply]
6/29/09

Epicharis

Irrespective of how violent you were intent on being before, if your trousers fall down revealing your boxers you will run away and forget about the murdering and mugging you had planned.

[reply]
6/29/09

Friday13

You can have a sudden change in appearance from one day to another, and no one will notice it.

[reply]
6/29/09

Epicharis

Disabled people are evil

[reply]
6/30/09

bettieblogger

no one ever wakes up with morning wood

everyone has sex in thier clothing (not sure what the deal is with that)

you can turn the on the light in your room to read and your partner will not wake

everyone folds laundry in the livingroom

no one really eats anything at meal times

women meet men named Sven, Cash, Trigger and Colt and actually never laugh at how silly those names really are

when listening to a voice recording, as long as you play it back 3 times, you always know exactly who's on the tape, where they were and what they were doing ... has to be 3 playbacks though!

no one ever farts around the relatives

[reply]
6/30/09

Epicharis

No one can recognise the emotional state of another person which leads to hilarity or shouting.

[reply]
6/30/09

nnatividad2785

Even robots have "balls"
-Transformers 2

[reply]
7/01/09

scifigene

When you are trying to say the one crucial thing, people will keep interrupting you or misunderstanding you until you give up.

[reply]
7/01/09

scifigene

Vampires can't eat pic-n-mix sweets.

[reply]
7/01/09

wagerwitch

Women ALWAYS have hard nipples... Perfect hair and look great in wife beater t-shirts.

[reply]
1. 7/01/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  hahaha
7/01/09

Epicharis

All lesbians are femme.

[reply]
7/01/09

thought

you can kill an entire batallion but dont run short of ammunition

[reply]