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Wedding Stress...HELP!
Posted by agarrita • 6/25/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: budget, Cost, Help, love, saving, stress, Wedding
I have been blogging about various wedding stress we have been going through. I am looking for any tips you all have about cost-saving, cheap tricks, or anything to save a penny. We went from having a wedding planned, to thinking about eloping instead, back to wedding planning. I got engaged on June 3rd and the wedding is October 10th of this year!! That does not give me much time to find good deals so I'm hoping you can help!
User Comments
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What are your biggest expected expenses and can you make any of them do double-duty. Flowers, for example: can you use the bouquets as reception centrepieces?
Any talented bakers in your family? Save a bundle on a cake if you have a friend or family make and decorate the cake.
Years ago I gave, as my wedding gift to a friend, seamstress services. I made the bridesmaid dresses...she just had to supply the materials and patterns. Any talented seamstresses among your family and friends?
You can save a bundle on limo service by having the wedding and reception in the same place. Hubby and I got married in the private dining room of an Indian restaurant, where all the guests witnessed the ceremony from their tables, then were treated to a great buffet.
I also saved a bundle on invitations by making them myself...but I am a graphic designer, so that may not be a first-choice option for you.
If you do a late afternoon wedding and then hold a cocktail party for the reception, you can save money by avoiding the expense of a full meal for each guest.
Keeping the guest list small keeps the price down, too. Not everybody has to be invited...you can send announcements after the event.
Oh...and if you are going for a REALLY inexpensive wedding, have the reception be a potluck or BBQ or some such.
Just a few ideas...-
I totally agree that a smaller guest count, serving hors d'oeuvres instead of a sit-down dinner and finding a double-use for everything such as the bouquets is the best alternative. Also, listing what is important to you is crucial - if you think a photographer is important, then spend money there. If not, then the disposable cameras might be just find. We chose to go with a very good photographer who had the option of purchasing the CD - we did that and were very happy we went that route. Good luck! www.desiredjourney.blogspot.com
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Adriano, like I mentioned before, the wedding day is your bride's day. The grooms are just an after-thought!! What are her thoughts about your planning to date? Is she okay with an elopement?-
She is okay with elopement but I believe deep down she wants to have the traditional wedding. Mainly she would like her father to walk her down the aisle. Eloping I belive would cost just as much bcause with a wedding at least your getting money back from your guests. I don't know I'm conflicted LOL. Thanks for commenting!
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For the cake I believe we got a deal because Danielle's aunt's brother is a cake maker and said he would only charge for ingredients. I think were going with David's Bridal bridesmaid dresses they are not too expensive and are going to be paid by the bridesmaids anyways I believe. I think were doing without the limo unfortunately. The last tip is where most of our problems stem from. We are currently at 150 people that went up from the orignal 75. The announcement thing you mentioned though is very clever. It's like a sorry I didn't invite you card! I appreciate your tips!!Thank you!
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Even 75 is too many unless all of them are relatives...close relatives. Parents, grandparents, parent's siblings, bride and groom's siblings, and no more than 10 good friends of the bride and groom.
Also, a wedding is not a dating event, so none of the wedding guests should be allowed to bring a date. Only long-established unmarried couples should be invited, not Cousin Eddie's latest fling. To ensure this, have your response card made up to show the number of people attending...and write in the number yourself before mailing it out!
Don't invite children: they drive up the headcount unnecessarily, which increases your cost. The only people under 21 who should be invited are siblings of the bride or groom. Not even nursing babies...I know a bride whose wedding video does not contain the speaking of the vows because they were drowned out by the sound of a wailing infant.
Liquor raises the cost hideously...don't host the bar. If you feel you must, then give each person a couple of tickets (you can buy a reel of tickets inexpensively from Michael's) which can be exchanged for your wedding's signature drink (come up with something cheap that matches the wedding's colour scheme...I suggest an inexpensive champagne mixed with an exotic fruit juice). The tickets can be given out in the receiving line by the person in charge of the guest book. Make arrangements with your caterer/bartender that you will pay only for the tickets collected by the bartender. If a guest wants more drinks than he has tickets, then he has to pay out of his own pocket. This limits your liquor liability: if each of your guests gets 2 drink tickets and you know the cost for each of your signature drinks, then multiply your number of guests by the cost of a drink and double it...that will be your max liquor cost. To ensure there is no charming extra tickets out of the guest book attendant, don't give her more tickets than 2x the number of invited guests!
If you have the wedding and the reception in the same place, you don't need a limo. Many churches have a church hall that can be used for the reception.
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now we pushed back the wedding to November 7th lol. We'll eventally get it done. Your tips are great by the way...thank you!
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My anniversary is Nov 8! Now we definitely have some common ground!
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Create a theme for the wedding so it's fun to plan. That will elevate some stress. The centre pieces can be used for your gifts to the mothers, grandmothers and bridesmaids. A simple idea for a centre piece is a beta fish in a nice bowl and use a lot of tea light candles on the tables. Simple is often more elegant.
If you have a friend that can mix drinks set up a paid bar. Most liqueur stores will let you return unused bottles if you have an arrangement with them. You may even get extra money this way. I would only pay for a couple of bottles of wine on each table.
Have your wedding on a Sunday or in the evening during the week. You'll save so much money this way. If you do this look into having it at a hotel b/c they will do every thing for you and give you a big discount b/c it's a week day.
Buy disposable cameras for some tables instead of a photographer or delegate a few friends to take the pictures with there own cameras. People love to help out with weddings so delegate things for them to do while your planning.
Some times having a seamstress make your wedding dress is a cheaper way to go and you can even adjust the design.
I was engaged and planned a wedding once. This is one of the most stressful things in a woman's life. I don't think it's necessaryly your day, I think it's your family's day. All that should be important is that moment between you two. It's too easy to get caught up planning a perfect day, you'll miss the simple perfection of what your really there for.
Good luck and have some fun planning.-
The theme is "fall in love"
Very good tips pandora thanks!!
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Hi! A penny saver tip. Professional photographers charge like a wounded bull! Give all your quests a disposable camera and let them take the wedding photos for you!-
hey thats a good idea!! We did find a pro photographer that would do it for $450. So were up in the air on that cause its such a good deal. But we'll definitely consider your tip. Thanks!!!
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so much stress for one day and so much money
elope put the money in the bank and buy a house
then invite whoever you want to visit-
Alot of people have been saying that. But its a once in a lifetime party (well usually). I don't know I think eloping will cost just as much... at least with a wedding you will get money back from your guests.
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When you hire a perfetional photographer keep in mind that the initial cost is not including a lot of things. You have no rights to the negatives so all your prints have to be bought through him/her. Some times you can find a student that will do a great job and often more creative for a smaller amount and they will let you keep the negatives. The only down side is that they may take slightly longer. I know it seems so important to have a perfetional photographer but in my experience often they don't take better photos. Your not guaranteed good shots.
As far as eloping, if I were to plan mine again I would have my wedding during my honney moon with immediate family then come home to a casual reception, one with family members and another with friends after the stress is gone. I know you will still go for the traditional wedding and you should if that's what you want.
There's a way to request $ instead of gifts for your wedding if you have what you need.
What are some of your ideas to follow your theme? What colours have you picked out?-
This is the digital age. Even with a minimal package from a professional photographer, you just buy the pictures you want and SCAN them!
Put them on a CD, a memory stick, whatever, and you will be able to make all the reproductions you want. Keep the originals for your coffee table album, put the CD with the scans in a safety deposit box or upload them to something like flickr or photobucket and they are safe for life...even if you have a fire or flood, your wedding pics are forever!
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So you think we should do without the photographer?? They have such better quality cameras though.... like I said I'm conflicted about the situation :/
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If you can keep the negatives I would go with the deal you have with the photographer you found. Ask with your friends and family about there cameras. B/c of technology I know so many people that have camera's that take as good of pics as perfesionals. Make them try it out so you can see some photo's first. If your getting really worried that there won't be good pictures it's prob best to put your mind at ease and pay the photographer.
It's so easy to get caught up in it all and it's hard to see what things are the most important to spend your money on. What are the most important things for you to have or spend your money on that day? Whether you have the best pictures or video, whether the cake turns out perfect or not, or your hair does it's own thing, you'll have the memory's.
My advice is to be careful on how many expectations and work you put into it b/c then you run the risk of not being able to enjoy yourselves. I'm not trying to be a downer but I can hear the tension your having. This should be fun.
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Don't elope man. While in this day in age, marriages lasting is a rare site, it's still a very memorable and special day for both of you(though more so for her probably lol). Listen to sweet violet about these tips. She's right, try and keep alot of it in the family, I'm sure you have grandparents, parent's, or other family members who love to cook, etc.
As far as photographers go, look around, check out places like colleges or place a local add for photography students. Doing something like that can save you alot of money by placing a local ad in a newspaper or your local craigslist because photography or film students are in the process of training for this type of professionalism, and already have most of the skills, and something like this would be a real plus for them, and most likely, very cost effective for you. You'll still get quality pictures, and if needed there are plenty of print studios around that can tweak your photos and print them at low costs. -
order a plain "birthday cake" and ice it/decorate it yourself. We priced we were quoted a $200 difference between a 2 tier birthday cake and a 2 tier wedding cake. Seems like certain places bump up prices when the word wedding is added to the order-
yeah I know I've come across that alot lol
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I wrote an article regarding wedding saving tips and savings. There are many information on decoration tips, invitations etc
www.ehow.com/how_4857537_luxury-wedding-less.html -
I just write some Stress management tips on my blog. May be you can copy to your blog
www.howtoyou.com/stress-management-tips/stress-management.html
Check all tips to recuce stress on this category :
www.howtoyou.com/category/stress-management-tips-
One of the beautiful things you can do to make your wedding special without any cost is to write letters to your attendants, if you're having any, instead of giving a gift. Your thoughts on how much it means to have that person as part of your big day will mean a lot more than an engraved something. You could even frame the letters for a little more impact.
And, hey, it's not a bad idea to do the same thing for your beloved. Congrats!
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having been a party to several weddings, some of them even my own, i can tell you with certainty there is no way to curb the stress. it's what makes it so ... so ... well, so weddingicky.
but if you must, i suggest rescheduling the wedding to december 22nd, 2012 because based on what i'm hearing, the 21st is going to be a doozey and will kind of put the whole thing in perspective.
best wishes, either way.
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