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Were You Considered Different As A Child?
Posted by KevinT312 • 12/22/07 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: children, clothing, conformity, different, norms, self esteem, society, standing out
Is being different as a child considered a good thing? Do we encourage individuality or support an environment of conformity as a society?
When you were a child did you see being different an advantage or disadvantage and why?
User Comments
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whoa, now there's an entire blog post!
i was considered different as a child ... and still am. the particularly odd thing was that even as a child, i didn't really care. i had a *very* strong sense of self. as a result, i didn't see it then as either an advantage or a disadvantage. i can remember wondering why these people seemed to try soooo hard to please the other kids instead of just being who they were. they always seemed so miserable trying to do what they thought the other kids wanted them to do.
today, i see that difference as a distinct advantage. as one example, i am far more likely to play with a computer program until i learn it than many people ... because i was used to exploring instead of waiting for everyone else. another example: as i grew up and realized that i was different, i also realized that EVERYONE is different in some way. and that makes everyone similar because we've all had to deal with being different ... if that makes any sense.
nice topic!-
Hi Ender,
You are so right. I am glad to see that you recognized your difference as an advantage and still continue to pull on your childhood experiences to motivate you in the world today. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
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I was considered different as a child and I wanted to be different. I didn't want to be the same as everyone else although there were a lot of times when that was the easiest path to take.
As Ender said, everyone is different in some way. I don't think there is a normal, there is too much variety, too many possibilities for that. Trying to fit in is just a waste of time, better to stand up and be who you are. It's easy and safe to be the same but in the end, it's the people who are different that stand out in my mind. The ones who make their own path are the ones I remember the most.-
Hi Clairec23,
What a boring world we would live in if everyone was the same, which you coined as normal, and not different.
But I would like to suggest that sometimes children can be cruel to each other and point out differences as a means of exclusion. Saying that someone is over weight, wears glasses or speaks a different language. I wonder what you and others think about children singling out each other for these types of differences. Please comment.
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Remember the movie sixth sense lol yeah I was different-
Hi RobinJ,
I wanted to know are you the same little girl that was in poltergeist too? (smile)
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Wait a minute, I'm still considered different. When I once described my "pretend friends", my parents think I was visited by aliens as a child. Does that mean my parents are different, too?-
Probably. LOL
I had some really detailed imaginary friends growing up. (Good grief, I still do in a way.) -
lol ... i had a lot of imaginary friends, too. but they all left one day when i was four ....
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Not as different as we might like to think. When my daughter started talking to an imaginary friend my sister-in-law suggested quite seriously that she might be possessed. -
Ouch.
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I was different then and I'm different now. I used to mind it then, I love my differences now. I've never been "weird" different. I've been "artistic" different.-
Hi 2 Sweet N Saxy,
I think the difference you are identifying can also be called uniqueness. It is this difference that seperates the thinker and inventor from the every day guy or gal. I am glad to see you have enbraced your uniqueness and am willing to share it with the world.
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I think eight out of ten messages in my high school yearbooks mention how weird I am, but in a good way. I've always gone my own way, with my head in the clouds. Unfortunately, being a grown up with a family and a job means that you can't daydream your way through life full-time. I rather miss my wackiness and look for ways to express it whenever I can do so relatively responsibly. Usually that means designing the company picnic fliers and decorating my cube with Gumby and Gary Larson cartoons.
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Hi Leg,
Having children gives you a great excuse to continue to exhibit your zany side and ensure that your outlook on life is passed on from generation to generation. I am glad to know that you have not given it up, because that is were our creativity is born.
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This is a real great topic. Interesting enough the two birds in the storybook dvd Strong Share Hummingbird and Crumbsnatcher Finch were totally different but flew together. What a concept, folks that are different finding something in common. I did not find that happening a lot when I was a child.(That means before my boomer years) Kids can be mean. I did have some good bonding friendships in junior high, believe it or not
But I remember being laughed at in fourth grade because I tried to use big words. I was also laughed at when I sang in front of the class in fourth grade. But then it was balanced by the teacher who encouraged me to sing anyway and the other teacher who said I could be anything I wanted to be. Still when your peers laugh at you as a child it hurts. But shucks it hurts when you are a grownup too. Guess you have to know who you are and how much you count for yourself. -
I always knew I was different. I was teased mercilessly because I was different. I tried desperately to convince the school councilors that I was different.
Did they believe me? "Oh no. You're not different, you just need to reach out to people more."
If I'm not different, why was I seeing a councilor?
Yeah. In fifth grade I had the vocabulary of an eleventh grader. All my clothes came from the sixties or seventies (some where hand-me-downs from my uncles). I had near constant make believes involving spies, superheroes, and zombies (sometimes dragons and evil wizards).
I have a blog/comic about a girl based on me called Mary Quite Contrary.
mqc-comic.blogspot.com-
Hi Brigid,
You sound like you would have been a lot of friend too be with as a child and I know we would have been friends. It is great to see that you are using those experiences in your blog life. I can tell you are really passionate about it. Keep up the good work and have fun -
Thanks. I think sometimes I may be a little too passionate. Still, I survived, I'm hear, so it's all good.
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Yes, but I didn't know it until I was an adult. When I was a sophomore in college, I made what I thought was an offhand comment to a friend in the hallway of our dorm (I can still see the scene quite clearly) and she said, "Tiffany, do you know that no one ever knows what you're talking about, but they don't tell you because they're afraid you'll think they're stupid if they don't know what those words mean?" I'd never been aware that I was using words that were anything other than ordinary, but it was one of those moments where things that haven't ever made sense suddenly slide into place--including the fact that I'd wondered all my life why so many people just looked at me and didn't respond when I made a comment in a group conversation. I'd always assumed that I was just boring and no one was interested in whatever I'd said.
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Thank heavens I had a best friend from 12 who kept my vocabulary grounded. She wasn't afraid to tell me I sounded like a stuck-up prig instead of just like everyone else.
And Zawadi, I still sleep with a teddy bear. I've had him forever and he is the only perfect neck pillow. I live in fear of the day he springs a leak. -
lmfao ... that's an awesome story to relate ... i had a similar moment in third grade when i moved to a new school. trust me, no one cared what the new kid thought of them, so telling me that my vocabulary was too much for them came easily to them.
i learned to develop a vocabulary for my friends and my "real" vocabulary and just got looks when i forgot to bounce between the two.
as for the stuffed animals, zawadi and legbamel ... i still sleep with one and i'm 39 now.
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Legbamel, I still haven't figured out what exactly the right balance is. The fact that you, who obviously have a strong vocabulary, think it makes you sound "like a stuck up prig" to use the language that comes most naturally to you and best expresses what you mean is a great illustration of the broader problem. There are some people in the world who go around trying to stick big important-sounding words into their conversation, and they usually don't do it well and sound like fools. But what about the fairly large number of people who have to stop, check their thoughts and try to think of a way to rephrase in order to AVOID using such words? Personally (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this), finding myself in contexts where that is required is very much like trying to converse with someone who speaks only French--I can figure out a way to convey the most important pieces of what I'm trying to say, but there's no hope of natural conversation. It's a process of having a thought, trying to translate it, realizing that pieces of it don't translate into the vocabularly I have available, cutting out the pieces I might possibly be able to do without, and saying something else that's related to but different from my actual thought. Not much chance of any honest or meaningful communication that way. And yet, there's also not much chance of honest and meaningful communication if no one knows what you're saying, or if people think you're putting on airs. I still haven't found the right answer, and sort of believe that there isn't one.
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I've never been one to think a point of view is invalid (or valid) because of fancy or simple vocabulary. There isn't a way to please everyone, or write/talk to everyone's taste. Those who attempt it too hard usually wind up forgetting to please one very important person: themselves.
I don't think there's a right answer either. -
I think the issue was more that I "collected" long or little-known words that very few people knew. My vocabulary was skewed to the obscure, which meant that the kids at the new school thought I was trying to impress them rather than to talk to them.
I finally figured out that those little words were useful and meaningful as well, and sometimes just as interesting as the seemingly more complicated ones. I didn't have enough language diversity. The words that I used because they said what I meant sounded to my "audience" like attempts at showing my superiority. Once we got to know each other, the vocabulary issue faded away anyway. It was just a barrier to acquaintance.
Then, we started Latin classes... -
My vocabulary problem is that I keep tripping over all the words that could be used to describe something.
And sometimes I loose track of what word I should use altogether and start stuttering or even stop in mid-sentence.
It gets really annoying, and is probably the biggest reason why I take umbrage at people saying "Bush is stupid" because of the way he talks. I have the same speech problems and I am not stupid! I scored 95th percentile on the ACT! -
Hi Tiffany,
What a wonderful revelation and a relief to you I know. Is it not funny how what we think might be true is not true at all. Perception is all that matters in the end. And the one thing that marvels me is that we all look at things from different prospectives. Thank you for sharing this story of your childhood. with us.
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yes but i could hide it because i could play football-
Hi Acoustic Guitarist,
While you played football I ran track. I also was a believer in the Puss In Boots Method of fighting. The philosophy hinged on this one statement by Mr. Boots and I quote, "He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day."
I never lost a fight and I am still living to tell about it (smile).
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I was a late Bloomer.. Had Dolls until 14
Slept with a stuffed animal till early twenties
Diffrent, Quiet,
Until my first year at College... -
I'm 18 years old; I've never had a girlfriend, I play(ed) Dungeons and Dragons (most of my friends have moved away), I spent the first 10 years of my life reading, drawing, and learning (then, I got a computer and my life consisted entirely of programming and trolling).
The result? I'm a bitter, albeit intelligent, smart-ass who hates everyone.
In short: Yes, I was very different as a child and that's not likely to change.-
That sounds like me. (Aside from the bitter, hating everyone part.) 0.0 Scary.
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Meh. I can function in society so it's inconsequential.
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lol no spooky movies scare the hell out of me I only saw 5 minutes of sixth sense lol strange for a medium i know
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What also helped me was a mom who prayed and passed that power to me. We still pray together morning and night wherever we are. I would, indeed, be in real bad shape if I did not. Not talking about religion but a close relationship with Jesus a bad word to many and that makes me different today as an adult.
But I don't care at all resistance only strengthens me today.-
lovely
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Good for you! *claps*
Prayer is good. I really should do it more often. -
Hi Rosebud33,
Thank you for sharing your family tradition of prayer with us. Too many times prayer is overlooked as the answer to our problems and the only thing that it cost you is your time. The time so many of us spend worrying about a problem could just as easily be spent in prayer finding a solution to the problem.
Thank you for sharing this aspect of your life with us.
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Different than what? I think everyone's different because we think of people as a group, then think of ourselves as how we differ from the group.
We're snowflakes. Snowflakes, I tell you!
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Hi Unfettered,
I like your concept that we are all snowflakes. No two snowflakes are alike if you inspect them under a microscope and yet each one is just as beautiful as the one that preceded it.
If I am a snowflake I hope I was pored out of the Ivory Soap (Ivory Snow) box. Being an Ivory Snow Snowflake would make me 99.97% pure. You can not get much better than that. (smile)
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Yes, I was different, never went with the crowd and didn't care, preferred activities that weren't considered to be fun by the other kids (reading, for instance), dressed differently, wore my hair differently, didn't try to be popular, though I had my own group of friends. That kind of individuality was discouraged by teachers, frowned on. They thought conformity was best. I didn't see it as an advantage or disadvantage, though I did dislike the "in crowd" a little bit and thought they were boring. Gosh, maybe I was a snotty kid.-
Hi Mt Chick,
I don't think you were a snotty child, just creative. It is good to see that you did not let other people's opinions hold you back and best of luck to you in your blog.
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What an interesting discussion! Yes, I was different for a couple of reasons, I think. I looked much older than I actually was growing up, so I could "pass" for older and was able to carry on conversations with adults and lots of people older than me. (This certainly took its toll on my parents.)
I was different also in that I was very adaptable, flexible and able to cross lines that most kids didn't cross, from group to group and still "fit in," yet still be myself.
I had some hobbies and interests that were considered "different" by some and that was just me, expressing my individuality. I was different in the sense that I didn't care too much what others thought or if they approved if I was really passionate about something (examples: studying abroad,reading a good majority of the books at my hometown library, writing music, poetry, and standing up for causes that I believed in). -
Yes, and still am. I was bumped ahead one grade in elementary school, so was younger than the others. Then they moved me up for reading classes to two grades ahead, so in some classes, I was three years younger than the rest of the kids.
There's no way to be inobtrusive when you're a third grader in a sixth grade reading class.
You learn unique things like "Humor is an excellent way to not get beat up by the bigger kids." -
I blogged about this: you can read my response at joychaser.com/2007/12/25/the-odd-kid-out-being-different-can-be-tough-but-r...-
JoyChaser, thanks for sharing your life experiences with us. It's such an important message to remember that sometimes our greatest challenges turn out to be our most important blessings.
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Hi Spirited Strider,
I too know what you experienced because I looked and acted older than my years as a child. Thank God my years have passed me and now I look younger than I really am, a good thing for a Boomer to be able to say. It is good to know that you were able to adapt to the dynamics of different groups, so many of us struggled with that as children.
The most important thing was that you were able to maintain your individuality during this process of growth and you are a well rounded and richer person fo it. Thank you for sharing this with us. -
I knew I had the creative thing in me as a child because I couldn't stop drawing. The good thing I had encouraging parents who kept giving me paper for me to work on.-
Hey artcoach,
Why don't you talk about the times you wrote on the walls then hit the drawings behind the bedposts before your parents gave you paper? I heard all about it.(Smile)
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Though I was not considered "different", I felt different. I was (am) a fraternal twin and we were (are) different in every way possible. I was also a bookwork (my escape from a stormy childhood), introvert, highly intuitive and analytical. I "knew" things and could not explain why; I had a strong knowledge of things unseen and an uncanny ability to read people. I also knew I was created for something special (isn't that odd?).
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I was considered different as a child. I was pretty normal until I entered pre-school, which was when my anxiety disorder became evident. I was fully aware that something was off in me - besides my own emotions, I could see that people responded to the way I communicated differently than other kids. I guess being a black punk, an anarchist, and socially awkward left me in the odd-bin even after I began speaking a few months ago. -
To all my brothers and sisters here - and sorry to bother all of you thinking to be different! - "we are no different from one another" - its only our mind which makes us think that we are different. Nothing else - its the perspective, the inputs to the mind (knowledge) - the upbringing - which also lends input, which builds up a pseudo, unreal world around us which makes us think that we are all so different - and also it divides us from one another, makes us hate, kill and differentiate people.
It makes us only think differently. Show the same beautiful rose to four people - one will think its beautiful, one will think of painting it, one will think of gifting it, one will think of stealing it... its the mind only which builds this imaginary world... and guides our awareness...
The outer world is only different - inside we are all same - we all suffer from the same fear and same insecurity every day. We fear the loss of our best friend, our daily food, our daily work or earning, fear the loss of our health and finally our life. We continuously chase to be at one position from another - i am this - I want to be this, I am here - i want to be there. But in effect our run is like a treadmill run - we run just to stay in the same position with the same beloved ones, with same food and with the same health. We are no different inside.
Humanity will always stand divided in conflict as long as we live in this pseudo make believe world which is nothing but illusion.
My blog : www.writtenvoice.com/welcome/ -
You need to do both! One without the other will limit your opportunties in life. -
all the other kids made fun of my bright,shiney red nose. I took care of them.-
Hi Lynyrd Schuyler,
Do you know Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer? He had a red nose and it came in kidda handy about this time of year too. Happy Holidays to you and yours.
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we r all diff..but some of us r more diff. than others.....i do not want 2 go back thats 4 sure......... -
Was born different, and felt even as a young child that I was different than family, extended family and playmates. I can remember things from as early as the age of two. I never shared my recollections with family until I was about 23 yrs old. What I shared in detailed going back to the age of two there was amazement (and maybe a little fear) from them; and the recollections were very accurate. Governed by discretion, however, I never shared everything I recalled.
Growing up, I spent most of my time as a child comfortably alone, when other children were busy playing. I usually was drawing, my greatest preoccupation, or modeling something in wood.
I daydreamed so much in grade school that teachers were bewildered to keep my attention, and said my daydreaming was unequaled in their experience. Of course, the usual suspect must be stupidity, so I was tested. They were equally befuddled by the high scores. This would happen again. The results were even better for me, though I would not learn this until after graduating high school.
I had many spiritual experiences from the earliest years. I remember as a child once trying to share with my mother something of it all, but it missed the mark, and I never brought the matter up again. These experiences let me see things in ways that they were beyond 'sense'. And there were times these experiences were not passive.
Then there were other times I was given to know something, which presented a problem for me among school or neighborhood children. If I didn't heed the knowledge given, and was governed by the will of my little peers, I paid a high price later. If I heeded such knowledge that advised, I would be in an argument with my little peers, look odd, be gossiped, and be alone - which was easy enough to do; I just didn't like arguments. The upshot is that others could sense I was different and, for few, even strange. As a child, it is known that the effort to explain such intimacies is fruitless, and wrong to attempt. You just look different, and are.
From the age of 12 to 17, I read a great deal, not watching much television. I was 13, just after the school year ended, and picked up a book by Will Durant on Philosophy. By the end of summer I had read it twice. By the time I had reached 16 I had read all the major philosophical works. This, in itself didn't make me different; what made me different was that I preferred the companionship of these works over my peers. There was an unpleasant outcome from my interest. My stepmother (my father would remarry) thought it was highly unusual for a child to read such material, so those books I bought with my own earnings were destroyed. The library books were spared, naturally.
If not enough, still, I have written too much :-) -
My family recognized my artistic abilities early on and made sure I had art supplies available. My father took great care to save everything I ever made.
At school, I was the class artist. Other students would involve me when they needed art done. There were different projects the school had me do as well. In fact a couple of my drawings still pop up in once in while in an alumni publication.
The private school I went to (K-12) emphasized the development of the individual and pushed students to aspire to “excellence in everything.” In high school particularly, all accomplishments were announced and congratulated at Monday assemblies.
I believe you need to be true to yourself and figure out how best to succeed with your own natural abilities. -
Was born different, but I'm not different now! Been thoroughly chewed thru the societal machinery and proudly wear my standarized badge.
Repent Harlequin! -
Hi Louis3030,
If you went back about 10 years I know things would be a lot clearer to you (2020). (smile) The best thing is to be able to celebrate and recognize the things that make us different. Happy Holidays to you. -
Interesting question. I think I was different for having a really awful flat nose, which subjected me to a lot of teasing. I was also climbing stairs when I was 8 months old and was giving oratorical speeches when I was 3. They had such high hopes for me. And I ended up doing the opposite of what they expected. -
As different as a puppy in a room full of kittens!
But being different, thinking differently, and not following the crowd is part of why I've become successful in my life many times over. It was painful as a child to not "fit in", but I'm grateful for it now, because that experience helped to shape me. And I really like who I've grown up to be!
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