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What are the usual causes of divorce?

Posted by lastingmarriages • 8/21/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: building lasting marriages, divorce, save marriage

What are the usual causes of divorce?

-http://buildinglastingmarriages.com/

User Comments

8/21/09

aspotofblog

Marriage

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1. 8/21/09
  
  legbamel
  
  Dang, beat me to it.
2. 9/08/09
  
  crazyTsu
  
  Come on, you dont divorce because you are married. You may marry because you are single and that makes sense
  
  Do you know you can apply divorce on practically anyone, like your parents etc?
8/21/09

aspotofblog

Yay! I was first!

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8/21/09

exit2013

Money!

*Note...I think this thread was deleted early today! Did anyone notice?

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8/21/09

aspotofblog

Because it's SPAM!

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8/21/09

lastingmarriages

I wish to clarify that I do not intend to spam. I really want to know your thoughts about the things I ask. I want real answers from real people about causes of divorce.

[reply]
1. 8/21/09
  
  MadameX
  
  If it's really thoughts you're after, then a link to your blog after every question isn't really necessary, is it?
2. 8/21/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Bingo, MadameX!
8/21/09

iratedog

My parents split because my Mum had an affair. Basically they just stopped loving each other. Love isn't eternal like people would have you believe. They definitely loved each other truly, but now Dad loves my step-mother and my Mum loves my soon-to-be step-father. It's just the way things are.

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8/21/09

snappysparrow

third party:)

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8/21/09

lastingmarriages

I wish to use the answers in writing my blogs. I honestly did not expect to offend. I thought shameless blog promotion is for that.

[reply]
1. 8/21/09
  
  MadameX
  
  You should make that point when you're posting a question, if you intend to use the responses. It's bad manners to milk people for material without disclosing your intentions, and if you're quoting liberally might also be copyright infringement.
  
  You might want to read the READ BEFORE POSTING thread at the top of the page. Among other things, you'll find an explanation of how to use the shameless blog promotion and stay within the community guidelines.
  
  You might also want to read this truly excellent old thread (which I'd recommend to anyone who wasn't around to read it the first time) www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/want-people-to-visit-your-blog-its-simple
8/21/09

Shuttercraft

Link Dropping is the usual causes of divorce

[reply]
1. 8/21/09
  
  iratedog
  
  oh shut it, he's not link dropping he's asking a question.
8/21/09

kdawg68

Unhealthy blow-up doll obsessions, perhaps?

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8/21/09

Adityavardhan

E M affairs..............

[reply]
1. 8/21/09
  
  kdawg68
  
  Exceptionally Malnutritional? I knew I should've started a diet this New Year's.
8/21/09

lastingmarriages

ok. i understand. thanks. honest mistake, really.i did not intend it that way. For everyone, we are writing blogs about marriage in the honest intent to help people save marriages. This is the primary reason I joined the discussions. I want to know what others think so we can write better and realistic content. If I would use your comments directly, I planned to personally ask the author.

[reply]
1. 8/21/09
  
  kdawg68
  
  We're just giving you a hard time - no real harm done.
2. 8/21/09
  
  iratedog
  
  don't worry about all these people yelling at you. It's half the battle when it comes to BC discussions
3. 8/21/09
  
  becominglast
  
  Hope the writings go well. I'd say one of the main problems is people aren't prepared to ride out the storms. Marriage isn't always going to be sexy like dating was. Tough patches come, but if you're prepared to love the other person 100% even when it's tough, you have a good shot at making it. Obviously, divorce is too big of a topic for a short response so please don't think I'm saying it's easy, I just think we're unprepared for marriage to a certain extent.
8/21/09

lastingmarriages

thanks for the encouragement. i wish the next posts will actually answer my questions. I was really thrilled the 1st time I saw answers to my questions. some are real eye openners. For example, i did not know that money is a major cause for divorce. It made me understand what's happening on some couples i know.

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8/21/09

SpotonLongIsland

Lack O Sex

[reply]
1. 8/21/09
  
  legbamel
  
  Mr. O'Sex surely doesn't need to be named and shamed to blatantly! What's the poor Irishman done to you?!
8/21/09

beyondpottery

I go along with SpotonLongIsland: Lack of sex

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8/21/09

jeremyjanson

Money.

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8/21/09

DougP

Stupidity, idiocy, inability to listen, inability to communicate. The usual.

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8/22/09

timethief

You do NOT have my permission to use my words in your blog.
See: www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/what-are-the-usual-causes-of-divorce-1#co...

Question: What are the usual causes of divorce?

Below is my answer to the question posed in the OP found in your other post titled: What is God's role in marriage?
www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/what-is-gods-role-in-marriage#comment_109...

The primary reason most marriages fail is because the couple did not make the correct selection of a marriage partner in the first place. During the falling in love stage of any relationship it's easy to mistake lust for love, and not take the time to be sure the foundation for a faithful and long lasting relationship does exist.

What's required for a foundation for marriage is: trust, respect, shared morals and ethics, common interests, mutual attraction and affection, shared hopes, dreams and goals, a willingness to cooperate, a willingness to be resilient and supportive throughout life changes, the degree of maturity required to allow your partner to grow and prosper withing the relationship, a healthy conflict resolution process, and commitment.

Divorces are the result of individuals choosing the wrong partner, most often they acted out of lust and immaturity, and/or they had unrealistic expectations about marriage, and/or about changing the other partner to suit them after marriage.

Also one would have to be extremely naive not to recognize that religious scripture, dogma, doctrine and the counsel of religious leaders have been used to pressure women to remain in abusive marriages to violent men, who have been brainwashed with paternalism rooted in religiosity.

Of course one can blab on and on about the verse(s) in the book of Ephesians about Christian men being heads of the household and under the commandment to love their wives, who are under vows of obedience to them as lords and masters. However, when we roll out the stats we find that Christan men express their "love" in many unusual, immoral and illegal ways. The fact remains that 6/10 marriages fail prior to 10 years from the date of issuance of the marriage certificate. And as Christians are the majority while atheists are a minority one would reasonably assume that those stats reflect just how successful Christians aren't when it comes to selecting appropriate partners, entering into life time marriage commitments, and living up to them.

[reply]
1. 9/09/09
  
  Hezmyjoy
  
  The problem with sweeping generalizations, Timethief, is when thrown out there, the treasure is tossed in with the rest.
  
  All Christians are not the same. All Christians have not selected immature partners and on their way to divorce court. It is best to only use the stats by which you are familiar. I know of many who are married for decades and have no intentions of splitting.
8/22/09

muffin

third party interfere, money issue, no time for each other are the main keys

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8/22/09

SweetViolet

Failure of one or both parties to convert from a ME orientation to a WE orientation.

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9/08/09

sjtavo

comment removed by the community.

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9/08/09

Hezmyjoy

The usual causes of divorce is irreconcilable differences which is the legalized term for: "I want what I want and you will no longer give it to me like you use to!" In a nutshell, selfishness ruled instead of love.

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9/08/09

FredSr2009

I think number one is probably infidelity followed by money issues and a slue of other issues like one being neat and orderly and the other a slob.

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9/09/09

seername

I believe is bore. When you feel boring with someone, and hate to see him / her everyday, plan to change a new partner. People nowaday prefer to divorce

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9/09/09

Ysabetwordsmith

Mess quotient. People don't think of that as a big one, but it is. Most folks have a comfort zone, and many can move about one step in either direction without being miserable. But if one person is really tidy and the other is really messy, chances are they will break up. If they haven't lived together before getting married, that can be a ghastly surprise.

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9/09/09

Theresa111

Arguments over money. Selfishness and disloyalty.

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9/09/09

drjay1966

I'd say the main cause of divorce is marriage...

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9/10/09

deviki

cheating and getting caught cheating

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