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What do men consider the most important qualities in a woman?
Posted by TheBloggerExposed • 1/22/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Tags: attraction, cooking, Dating, MEN, personality, qualities, relationships, women
Ok, my last discussion freaked everybody out, so I hope this is less controversial..
What would be the 3 or 4 most important qualities for a long-term relationship?
And how important is domesticity to a man, vs other qualities? Of course it's a perk if the perfect woman loves to cook, etc, but is it enough to make or break your interest? For example, say there are two women you have the opportunity to pursue... they are both kind, intelligent, funny, and so on. One is very domestic (cooking, sewing) and the other is considerably more attractive (but considers ramen noodles a home-cooked meal). Who would be most likely to win your affections?
User Comments
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Sex, Respect, Honesty, and Love!-
In that order, I take it?
since it's the order they came to mind
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I think it's a combination of beauty, intelligence, and how good her heart is. -
I do the cooking in our house and we share the housework. I also do the most with the kids seeing as she goes out to work and I work from home.
Honesty
Kindness
Child bearing hips-
LOL @ child bearing hips. Yup...that's a "keeper" alright.
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For me its intelligence, honesty, love, and heart. The beauty is a bonus as long as they don't look like the south end of a north bound camel of course. -
whichever one has a casual moral attitude and better flexibility-
Ah, you're back on your game again, Kevin!-- We would have been totally disappointed otherwise, and really believed Claire's theory you'd lost your knack to properly offend. -
lmao, there he is! He must be feeling better
* ruffles his hair -
Aw shucks...
*Kevin kicks a rock into a pond and whistles -
But I didn't spit out my tea, so you are not up to par yet
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Kevin mentioned in a post that you didn't spit
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Tough crowd-- raising the bar on pointless banter.
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*Slaps Chris in the head with a trout.
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Hmmmm fishy.....
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Damn right I don't spit... hey wait a second
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All of the above plus a flat head to balance a beer on and the ability to suck start a motorbike...
My wife, Emma is hitting me as I type dammit...-
Emma has a flat head? *snickers* (And boy am I glad I'm not within hitting range of Emma now.) -
Im glad you said flat head....
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Respect, honesty and companionship! -
I want intelligence, class, spunk, a partner, and a challenge. I should say I'm happily married. -
Brains and beauty, but it has to be both! -
Big breasts? -
Humor, friendship, compassion for others (especially children), and patience with a man who spends too much time online! A good cook is a bonus. -
Wow, I like the answers...well, the comments that actually qualify as an answer ;). Nobody said that domesticity was a major factor?
Sweet.-
Oh wait, but kevingoodman did say "class" which I imagine was supposed to be a stab. That's okay, I'm classy in my 'real' life. I can play my own devil's advocate in the blogging world, right?
How do you define compatibility? It could be described as an understanding and respect for one another regardless of perspective, or it could mean having compatible characteristics and views.
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Thats funny because I envisioned you with class.
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You know - in the spirit of the Rolling Stones song - what is it, um 'Pleased to meet you'
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Thanks, pleased to meet you too. And you're much younger than I imagined (I checked out your blog). My expectation must have rooted from all of the infinite wisdom you were sharing. I assumed that my "class" was under fire due to igniting such heated debate....I honestly didn't realize people would get so hot and bothered. But, you live and you learn. Even if it's virtual.
***Okay, SO is it preferable to have your significant other act/feel/vote similarly as you do (live in harmony), or act/feel/vote the other way (complement/balance each other)? -
You didnt get the analogy? I am thirty -so there is no confusion.
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Yeah, I get it. To be clear, you're referring to yourself, since you are the one who said, "pleased to meet you", right?
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I'm not the evil one but I always figured the devil had class.
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dang, harsh. What makes you think I'm evil?
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You know that's a real good question because you must remind me of somebody. Wierd because I really do look at your avatar and read your words and think 'witchy woman'. But you are a good writer.
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Thanks for the compliment (and less-than-flattering remark all rolled into one). I guess. These blogs are the first things I've written since high school, which sadly is a really long time ago(essay-style, I have written my name to file taxes in between now and then). My arm doesn't get nearly as tired since the invention of the PC.
Surely my other pictures don't make you think "witchy", do they? If they do....well, what can I say to that? -
Now I'm seriously thinking about starting a new thread to get votes on whether or not I should change my avatar. And I already have a new pseudonym picked out, but I didn't want to change both at the same time and confuse everyone. Then I'd really be in hot water because I'd get accused of resurfacing as somebody new or something.
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Legs.
Car.
Checkbook.
Life insurance.-
I'm scared.
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Alright, not a guy, but I do like the gals from time to time....First I'll say that my husband seems to really like the domestic thing so long as it is balanced out with a bit of attitude. Thats a personal opinion though....
As for me, if I were dating a lady....i would say that as long as she were somewhere in between Martha Stewart and Crazy wild, never coked a meal before and doesn't clean anything ever, she would probably be OK. So to answer your question it would really depend on which woman was more extreme. I'd pick the one that wasn't as extreme, see? -
Don't be scared.
Be naked.-
If I was naked, you'd be scared.
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Yikes.
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Sounds like a challenge Exposed, I'm willing to take that challenge. Interesting you're talking about being naked and have 'exposed' in your name. Hmm..
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Take that how you will.
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So here's the current run-down on desirable qualities in a woman (according to men and one woman, so far):
kindness
companionship
honesty
respect
brains
beauty
legs (which most of us do have these)
spunk
being a challenge
humor
child-bearing hips (helpful more to the woman than the man, obviously)
big breasts
flat head
checkbook
& last, but not least, life insurance
So, there you have it ladies! It is officially better to be good in the sack than to be good in the kitchen. (I'm paraphrasing....i hope not to offend anyone!) -
The challenges of brand management.
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Are you referring to the trait list, or my earlier reply about accumulating votes on whether or not to change my "witchy" avatar?
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It changed as the I matured, but eventually it got to be warmth, love, respect, and the one that has never changed, confident intelligence. I think when you are very young there are other factors that enter in, but as you get older things change. People change. It's the fortunate, and maybe too rare, relationship where you and your partner change in ways that allow you to remain loving and respectful of each other. -
May I jump in as a woman... and though slightly off topic... suggest that, as a woman, i look for emotional maturity... not a guy who has a fragile ego... if there is such a thing? Not cocky, but confident. Someone not looking for a replacement for their mother... for starters.
Edit: Sorry... i know this was meant for men only. I should not have added my unrequested 2 cents.... but i did.-
No, feel free to reply. It could add an interesting twist, and maybe guys and gals can actually discuss what's important to both of us.
(However, my friend is currently reading some book about inside men's heads and how to treat your husband, and all that. From what she says, they all have fragile egos in the way that it is so important for them to succeed in providing for their families/significant others, that when that role is challenged they are very insecure and hurt inside. I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS A FACT. ONLY THAT IT IS IN A BOOK. NO HATE MAIL PLEASE
I appreciate all the guys who have answered this thread! Really. And I'm not just trying to brush your egos. Really. I'm not.
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emotional intelligence, good looks and must play the saxaphone
i can cook so that's not so big
oh...i forgot 'the accent' has got to have a cool accent-
What kind of accent?
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And how many good looking, unemotionally needy saxaphone players with a cool accent are there? Tall order. Unless you already have somebody in mind.
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totally teasing with my response
I forgot, must have an Alpacca, red panda and a twitch
oh ok..someone that say 'darlink'
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For me, I prefer women who are intelligent, witty, have a healthy interest in sex, and who can think "outside the box". Good looking is frosting on the cake, but sex appeal is more about attitude to me than mere physical appearance. I don't care if they are domestic -- if I need a cook or a housekeeper, I'll hire one. -
Can being attractive, sewing, and great ramen noodle skills not coexist?
(by the way, I'm a lady but I just thought I'd weigh in)-
geez...i'd want more recipes than that
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ramen noodles come in many different varieties and flavors.
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thank heavens i can cook
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Domesticity's not really important to me. I can't exactly cook myself, but I'm trying to learn a little more anyway, and I can take care of myself well enough that I certainly don't expect anybody else to.
Trends in the women I've fallen for... intellectualism is a big one. I've always been about the ultra-intellectual, incredibly intelligent women. Someone I can match wits with and have really interesting conversations with for hours on end. Good conversation is critically important to me - being able to connect on the emotional and intellectual levels. A good sense of humor is always key, too. What's a relationship without humor and fun, after all?
Then to oversimplify the rest, respect and loyalty (My past relationships've fallen kinda short in that regard, unfortunately.), actual love would be plenty nice, the sort of quirky beauty I've always found myself attracted to (Which is a natural thing that's just a matter of the individual, anyway, not something that can be faked.), honesty, understanding, those're good too. And I'd like to hope a physical connection wouldn't be too much to ask for too, haha.-
Great response. Thanks for your input!
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boobies!-
Did somebody break into daddy's blogcatalog account?
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lol
i was kidding around don't be so serious
but if you think all guys don't take breasts into account (a lot) ur very naive -
I didn't realize it wasn't obvious that I was kidding also! I thought your input was especially funny coming directly after a long and well-thought out response.
I'm well-aware boobies are a preferred feature. I even have a pair. -
Well said TheBloggerExposed
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Honesty, Loyalty, Respect, Compassion, Understanding, and most important of all love -
honesty, consideration, attraction, and the need of that love.-
I recently broke with my friend, I was honest enough to say he attracted me.
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None of this matters. While initially men are attracted to looks, ultimately it is about how the two get along. Cooking or no cooking, doesn't matter if there is no chemistry.-
hey ...Elaine, did you notice I included accent?
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I was told today I didn't have one...... no I was actually talking to someone I met on line (wink, wink).... and he didn't realize I wasn't from here until I said I was from Russia. he was surptised I didn't have an accent...... which I think it BS really... I do have one for sure
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sex, more sex, n bye!
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"What would be the 3 or 4 most important qualities for a long-term relationship?
And how important is domesticity to a man, vs other qualities?"
That would save you a lot of money in the long term. But I would pity yr woman.
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Honesty, Down to earth, Hardworking, Sense of Humor, and a nice pair of buttocks for good measure. -
Considerate, Honest, Intelligent and yes, a healthy sex drive.
Considerate: To me, to other people. This is a mix of sensitive, sincere and compassion IMO.
Honest: No lies and hiding. Honest and trustworthy.
Intelligent: Yes, smart.
Healthy Sex Drive: y'know what I mean.-
As demonstrated in my blog and as my name infers, honesty is one of my strong suits (or weaknesses, depending on whose angle you're evaluating). Then again, my blog also touches on sexuality. In addition to accomplishing these feats, it simultaneously demonstrates my intelligence! (3 out of 4 from your list, just with my blog)
So trust my intelligent, honest wisdom when I implore you to withdraw the above challenge you're attempting to instigate. I expose myself repeatedly on my blog in the figurative sense, no need for the literal, capeesh?
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Oh no, now I have to answer this one. Cooking doesn't matter. I am an amazing cook. At least I think so. Then again it is a well known fact that every man enjoys the smell of his own farts, cooking may be the same principal.
I really want to say that the most important thing would be sex, trust, sex, honesty, sex, love and sex.
But I was married for a long time to someone that really was never all that into me and should never have said yes. So, to me, that is really what I am looking for, I guess it is that spark.
I can cook for myself, take care of my home and have for a long time just me and my daughter. I don't really "need" anyone else. What I "want" is someone that actually wants to be with "Me" for who I am.-
That sounds like the perfect answer. Congrats.
(feigning a deep, authoritative voice): Of course, on these discussion forums we must all keep in mind that there are no right or wrong answers.
Yours is just one of the better ones. -
Okay, Thanks. To be honest I was kinda hoping this thread would stay steadily falling to the bottom of the list. I sort of have a reputation to maintain here.
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trust, trust, and more trust.
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