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What does a Loser Smell like?

Posted by ekim941 • 5/09/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic

Several of my female friends tell me that they have a knack for finding "Losers". Personally, I think there is something about a loser that they are attracted to.

Anyway, I got an Idea to make a cologne for men that would make them more attractive to these women.

I'm thinking it needs to start with some alcohol and drugs with maybe a hint of stale prison. Does Arrogance have a smell?

User Comments

5/09/08

Anok

No no no, you need to make him smell like an impossible fixer-upper.

Maybe "musty" is better. Or moldy....

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  What "HIM" I was talking about me. I Look like an impossible fixer upper.
  
  I need to go more for arrogant jerk
5/09/08

stilesjp

I think the smell of The Beach is constant.

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Ya mean like salt water, sand and hemp?
2. 5/09/08
  
  stilesjp
  
  seaweed and dead fish, too.
3. 5/09/08
  
  cayasm
  
  @stilesjp seaweed and dead fish for mermaids only.
4. 5/09/08
  
  stilesjp
  
  I don't think they should get all the fun, do you? They've had their own way for too long...
5. 5/09/08
  
  cayasm
  
  @ stilesjp what fun do tell.
6. 5/09/08
  
  stilesjp
  
  @cayasm - My experiences with mermaids, they're selfish, snotty and have this complete hold over me... I keep buying them things, like blenders and tongs (not thongs, those don't work) and they're just never satisfied. It's always "I want the new cuisinart" or "I want a rechargeable nose hair trimmer" and I just keep thinking they can't possibly have enough outlets for all this stuff...
7. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Did you say mermaids are selfish or shellfish?
8. 5/09/08
  
  cayasm
  
  @Ekim...LOL
  
  @stilesjp elctric nose hair trimmers for a mermaid?!!!!..:)
9. 5/09/08
  
  stilesjp
  
  @ekim941 - I SHOULD have been that quick... damn!
  
  @cayasm - who doesn't need one of those, seriously... imagine kelp, swaying too and fro, under the water... now imagine... well, you get the picture.
10. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  @Stiles, what kind of scary-ass mermaids you been seeing?
11. 5/09/08
  
  stilesjp
  
  @ekim - if I talk about it any more, what meds I am taking won't be enough. I can already feel her beard...
12. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I think you had too much to drink and accidentally went home with Poseidon.
13. 5/09/08
  
  amtelemarket
  
  Never buy a pair of shoes to a mermaid (anonym philosopher)
14. 5/10/08
  
  Arcticulates
  
  Oh, my, my, my, I laughed till I cried! I must say stilesjp, you have given me a whole new view of Mermaids!
5/09/08

cayasm

how about "Hopeful"

[reply]
5/09/08

Shiley

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPQR-OsH0RQ Maybe they smell like this?

[reply]
5/09/08

kellybax

stinky feet

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I got that going for me already
5/09/08

timethief

@ekim
There's actually a scientific basis for this that has to do but I'm eating dinner now. I will find the references for you later.
Maybe our Grand Poobah should convene the Friday night Sensational Hedonistic Pleasure Seekers Passion Club! We could feature the sense of smell tonight.

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I think some women believe that they are gonna find a loser and he will change his evil ways for her.
  
  It doesn't work because his evil ways is what got her attention in the first place. You don't change what works for you.
  
  ekim-randomramblings.blogspot.com/2008/03/i-cant-compete-with-that.html
5/09/08

acousticguitarist

Have you ever smelt soccer pads that protect the shins?

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Of the "Losing" team?
2. 5/09/08
  
  acousticguitarist
  
  No the referee
3. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Ah yes, Essence of arrogant jerk. That makes sense.
4. 5/09/08
  
  acousticguitarist
  
  That is THE funniest thing I've ever heard
  
  Say it with a Fench accent and you'll fall of the chair
5. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  You are easily amused.
5/09/08

rearvumirr

I have a very sensitive sense of smell, if I feel the need to crack a window and turn on the fan...it's not a good sign

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Then stop eating burritos.
5/09/08

rearvumirr

yuck lol

[reply]
5/09/08

Anniepooh

Eau de Fromunda - Cologne for a Man's Man

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  From unda da dumpsta?
2. 5/09/08
  
  acousticguitarist
  
  I thought it said 'Eau De Dumpster'
3. 5/09/08
  
  Anniepooh
  
  Fromunda somewhere ... I agree with Anok, you need something that pins a loser down!
5/09/08

aningeniousname

all a man needs to attract women is a love song such as this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYM5rRL5u4U

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  or this:
  
  www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
2. 5/09/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  No that's scary to women loose pants and ginger quiffs are womens nightmares.
3. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  It's romantical
4. 5/09/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  Now I know why you're single mate, those loose pants and the ginger quiff are holding you back.
5. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  You don't think it's the "Essence of construction worker"?
6. 5/09/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  Nah all men smell like construction that's what ladies like, it's the Rick Astley tribute that's putting them off.
7. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Aww, C'mon. That was all for you. I know you're a huge fan
8. 5/09/08
  
  aningeniousname
  
  Your right I am a member of the ginger prince's world wide fan club, number 2246, and I take exception to this online mockery of a true great.
5/09/08

focusorganic

Cat pee.

At least, that's what one of the losers I went to high school with smelled like. But he didn't shower.

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  OR
  
  He showered in cat pee.
5/09/08

focusorganic

Hmm... that will require some deep thinking on my part. Would showering in cat pee cause one's hair to look like he had doused it in olive oil?

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I think Popeye had some body parts that were doused in Olive oil.
  Did his hair look like Popeye?
5/09/08

DocNicole

strippers?

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  Have you been sniffing strippers again Nicole?
2. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  The funny thing is that Nicole knows what a stripper smells like and I don't.
3. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  a dollar and a dream ekim
4. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I thought it was "Powder"
  
  or maybe Glitter. Does glitter have a smell?
  
  No, but she has Bens dollar
5. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  if glitter is the strippers name... then nicole has sniffered her and we can get the results of the smell test from her
6. 5/09/08
  
  timethief
  
  Yoo Hoo! Friday night!
7. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  No!! I want to see the test being performed
8. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  maybe nicole can get us a video of the sniff test- - maybe even a scratch and sniff test...
  
  I heard there are video sharing sites now
5/09/08

BennyGreenberg

You know that "blue thing" in the back of your fridge, ya know - you are not quite sure what it was originally, but now its sorta magical - and oh oh oh - so loser?

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Why do you have a urinal puck in your fridge?
2. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  doesn't everyone?
3. 5/09/08
  
  amtelemarket
  
  maybe it's what they call urine-therapy
4. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  urine the wrong business amtele
5. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Benny, just because they smell like mint doesn't mean you can eat them.
6. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  wasn't that just a altoid on steroids?
7. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Well, I guess after enough dudes have melted it down into a nice bite sized chunk. . .
5/09/08

amtelemarket

LOL No prob, I wasn't trying to get a deal. You have the right to keep your urine or share it whit whoever you want

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  dont you mean to keep urine or share it?
2. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Well, you don't have to get pissy
3. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  the tide is high... and urine the money
5/09/08

timethief

Unbelievably funny! I love you guys. I'm going to cue some music up, then pour a libation and pull up a chair and read the show. Yee Haw!

Bloc Party This Modern Love playing ... entertain me boys ...lol

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Alright. But I expect to get some ones in my thong.
2. 5/09/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  so you can live the dream about sniffing glitter?
3. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  No, I'm gonna thing a thong.
  
  Weren't you lithening?
5/09/08

BennyGreenberg

I'm thorry

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Ith ok.
5/09/08

focusorganic

It shined like Popeye, but Popeye didn't have horribly dandruffy skin.

[reply]
5/09/08

timethief

Here's some smelly information. We don't actually smell one another much at all because we bathe ourselves in products that mask our true scent.

The Protection Racket
Grandmother used to say that men sweat — women “glow.” But, who among us hasn’t taken a surreptitious whiff under the arms on a hot, humid summer’s day? Forget the glow — as temperatures soar, so does our tendency to worry about body odor and wetness.It’s no wonder we worry. The skin, considered the largest organ of the body, is home to some two million sweat glands. Under normal circumstances, these glands secrete up to 6 cups of sweat per day. But, when the weather turns toasty that amount can easily increase to more than 17 cups! www.creatinghealthybeauty.com/protection_racket.htm

The largest study of its kind reveals that an ingredient in male body odor can smell like urine or take on a vanilla scent depending on single odorant receptor gene. Yes, it's all in the genes.

Androstenone, a derivative of testosterone that is a potent ingredient in male body odor, can smell like either - depending on your genes. While many people perceive a foul odor from androstenone, usually that of stale urine or strong sweat, others find the scent sweet and pleasant like vanilla. Still others cannot smell it at all.

Although it has long been suspected that the ability to perceive the odor of androstenone is genetically determined, this study is the first to identify variations in a single gene that account for a large part of why people perceive androstenone's scent so differently. www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2007-09/ru-gdw091207.php
news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/05/0510_050510_gayscent.html
A 2005 study shows that gay men respond differently from straight men when exposed to a suspected sexual stimulus found in male sweat. When homosexual men smelled the odor of male sweat—more specifically, a chemical in the male hormone testosterone—their brains responded similarly to those of women.

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I live in FL and sweat gallons.
  
  I'm insulted that you are telling me that my largest organ is my skin
2. 5/10/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  even if your other organ is what you want to be your largest organ - it is still covered in skin
5/09/08

timethief

Well it's not like I've had the benefit of an examination to go on you know. Some of these things we just have to accept. Experts say it's the biggest organ. I have burned an arrogant man or two in my time (they turned lobster red) but I've never skinned a human have you?

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Not that I'll admit to.
  
  So, you're saying that my birthday suit is the heaviest outfit I own?
5/09/08

timethief

I haven't seen all your outfits yet. Please let's maintain some mystery. Come to think of it you haven't seen my outfits either. So do they wear swim suits in Florida? I'd find that very hard to get used to. Less is more unless it's a man wearing a speedo.

[reply]
1. 5/09/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Most people think it's strange but I normally wear jeans. Sure, it gets a little hot but it protects my legs from the sun.
  
  I can't have sun spots on these beauties, ya'know?
2. 5/10/08
  
  legbamel
  
  Hmm, Ekim in a backwards hat and a Speedo. What was that about sharing footage?
3. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I think "Footage" is giving me too much credit.
5/09/08

timethief

Well, I'm on my way out for a night hike. I won't be back for about an hour and a half and I won't be online until tomorrow. G'night and have sweet dreams.

[reply]
5/10/08

gosmelltheflowers

Do we smell a romance here people with the last 2 comments....

COOL.

We'll provide the flowers.

The smell of a loser? Stale flower water.
www.gosmelltheflowers.com

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  globalgirl
  
  I smell romance burning too. :-)
2. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Romance might be over if I posted a pic of me in a speedo
5/10/08

wehireu

Add in a touch of sweat, some tears, four day old budweiser, car grease, dog hair, vomit, a hint of blood, stale cigarettes, a hint of grass stains, a bit of urine, a burning scent like candles, a slightly sweet smell like hostess ding dongs, a smell like talcum powder, and the smell of unwashed bras and you might get what you are looking for.

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Then I guess women go for some strange men
  
  I want a woman that smells like cinnamon buns.
  
  Or maybe a woman that can bake cinnamon buns.
  
  Ok, forget the woman, I just want cinnamon buns.
2. 5/10/08
  
  offendedblogger
  
  So, are you saying that losers eat and then smell like cinnamon buns?
3. 5/10/08
  
  Donlewis
  
  How about a woman that has cinnamon buns?
4. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Don, Just the cinnamon buns. Lot less trouble.
5/10/08

BennyGreenberg

ya - if he is looking to vomit

[reply]
5/10/08

barryfromtexas

I dunno about a loser, but I definitely know death when I smell it.

[reply]
5/10/08

wehireu

Actually a loser smells like failure which is an indefinably sad smell, but you tend to know it when it comes near you.

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I noticed that my success seems to be a woman repellent.
  You may be onto something here
5/10/08

BennyGreenberg

ewww

[reply]
5/10/08

RioTheYorkiePoo

"A loser smell like a blog with NO visits:-)"
I guess...
Maybe like dog poop or cat pee...
or garlic breath...
I'm lost!

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  ekim - got the compass of life for this one?
2. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  That works. Now quick, no one go to my blog so I can be a loser and attract a female.
  
  Got the dog poop and garlic. Now, if I could just find a cat with a full bladder
3. 5/10/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  Nicole?
4. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Is Nicole going to pee on me? WTF?
5/10/08

wehireu

Dilbert the May 8, 2008 strip is about the smell of losers.

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Dang, I got beat by a cartoon character!?!?!
5/10/08

Theresa111

A loser must smell like a brain fart.

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I'm beyond brain fart, I have full blown dain bramage.
2. 5/10/08
  
  Theresa111
  
  You're not a loser, so do not pretend to smell like one Ekim!
3. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  You're right. That explains my status of Single
  
  Now, off to the lab to perfect my Eau De Loser Parfum
4. 5/10/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  your not going to play the pity-party card - are you?
5. 5/11/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I'm not really a pity kind of guy. I'd much rather find the fun and humor in situations.
5/10/08

Theresa111

Being married does not qualify one to be a winner.

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  nor does it qualify you a loser...
2. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Trust me. I was married for 9 years. I never won
3. 5/10/08
  
  BennyGreenberg
  
  It really should not have been a contest
4. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  I didn't think so either. Apparently she was keeping score
5. 5/10/08
  
  amtelemarket
  
  I've been married for 21 years, does it make me a Super-"L"?
6. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Is there a "score card" involved?
7. 5/10/08
  
  amtelemarket
  
  Probably. It's because I always say the last word in any argument: "yes honey"
5/10/08

timethief

Oh well, who needs a bean counter anyway? You have two great kids and I predict that you will meet a fine woman too.

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Accountants everywhere are offended by that
5/10/08

timethief

Nonsense. It's Saturday night so my guess is that accountants everywhere are probably glued to their spread sheets.

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Is that an innuendo?
5/10/08

praning5254

I think "smell" isn't the right word there...

Your friends can actually "see something" from "the losers"

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Do I need a shirt with an embroidered "L" on it?
2. 5/10/08
  
  praning5254
  
  you don't have to, ekim...It's written all over your face....LOL
3. 5/11/08
  
  praning5254
  
  I think you need to read this:
  
  www.becomeaplayboy.com/book
4. 5/11/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Oh lord, not another lecture.
  
  I have something that guy doesn't.
  
  Standards
5/10/08

timethief

@ekim
Who me? Use innuendo? No not me. I'm not smart enough.

Pssttt! Read this while I'm in the bubblebath www.blogcatalog.com/discuss/entry/simply-amazing-well-i-am-amazed-anyway#co...

Na, na, na, na na ...

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Ok, Fine. You had me at Bubble Bath ♥
  
  &hearts;
  
  and the ♫, hold down ALT and press 1 4.
5/10/08

pamelabaker

A loser should change scents to the scent of a winner. The loser scent attracts either women who are not confident in who they are thinking if they help a person they themselves will be worth caring for,or those who are so shallow that they do not care and will not care.
The winner scent will work too, and attract healthier women. Does that make scents?

[reply]
1. 5/10/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Ah, Great Pun
5/10/08

timethief

SOB ... I held down ALT and pressed 1 4 but no cute little heart appeared

[reply]
1. 5/11/08
  
  amtelemarket
  
  ALT 14 is for ♫
2. 5/11/08
  
  ekim941
  
  SOB??? Now that's completely uncalled for.
5/11/08

amtelemarket

ALT 3 is for ♥

[reply]
5/11/08

Theresa111

What a mistake Ekim! I held down the alt key and 14 and it didn't do anything. So I held down the control key and 14 and things disappeared. Not for long. The page went away. Apple is different from PC. Do you know how to make musical notes and hearts, etc., on an Apple, please?

BTW I thought you were addressing this discussion to men in general, not anything about yourself. You are a winner in my books!

[reply]
1. 5/11/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Interesting
2. 5/11/08
  
  ekim941
  
  Actually, I was mocking the women that look for men that are losers or the politically correct "Fixer uppers". It's a trend I noticed.
  
  The discussion got a little off track but that was the basic idea.
5/12/08

sherliez

Losers are like solvents.... hard to resist when you're already hooked...

[reply]
5/12/08

balidreamhome

rotten cheese?

[reply]