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What happens if your kid is a gay/lesbian?
Posted by blurgirl • 1/14/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: kid, parenting
Gay and lesbian are legalized in some countries and it's a social norm nowadays. However, when i witness the public display act of two girls on the train this morning, I still feel rather uncomfortable. I was wondering how I would feel if one day my kid told me he is gay.
What's your personal opinion? Would you accept the kid as they are or you will try to dissuade them?
User Comments
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i'd kiss em on the cheek and say, i'm really happy for you. It's not about who you love, it's about do you love.
I am heterosexual and think the three major things that need to happen in this world are;
1: More respect for women
2: Acceptance and respect of homosexuals as a valid life choice
3: Greater tolerance for mental illness
To call a man a women or girl is an insult, to call a person a gay is an insult and call a person mental is also an insult.
None of these three things should be considered as an insult-
I would never dissuade a child for being homosexual. I would help them get a good understanding of it, help them to find ways to manage it in a predominantly heterosexual society which lacks understanding and education.
and teach them ways of dealing with imbeciles that think it's unnatural, a sin, or unacceptable. -
yes, i agree. Have to accept and respect them as who they are. I think your second post is good, we have to help them understand how the greater society might see them.
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thanks, but that's the least important thing i've said. the problem is the society not the way society sees them
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@AG--bravo. You are my hero.
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"I am heterosexual and think the three major things that need to happen in this world are;
1: More respect for women
2: Acceptance and respect of homosexuals as a valid life choice
3: Greater tolerance for mental illness"
4. more people like you, acousticguitarist
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I just hope if they fall in love that they are loved and treated nicely by that special somebody.-
yeah..i'm with you
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absolutely nothing, we'll still love them and hope they have all the need and want in life, just like we do now -
Yah, right...dissuade them. Like you can dissuade someone from being tall or having blue eyes or brown skin. How do you dissuade a person from a part of him/herself that is as natural as breathing? And by what right?
If a family member came out to me, I would simply say "Cool. Any way I can help you?" That's what I said when a younger member of my family came out as a cross-dresser (he was renting a room from me and didn't want me to freak if I found his bras in the dryer).
It isn't a moral, political, or religious issue, it is simply a matter of a person being who...and what...nature created them to be, and we no more right to reject or try to change them than we have the right to reject or change a person because of the colour of his skin. -
SweetViolet beat me to it.
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your admission to feeling uncomfortable i found interesting. i recently saw "milk" and also felt uncomfortable during some scenes. and i don't know where it comes from. i couldn't state my feelings about this any better than acousticguitarist. so it's not that i hold homosexuality as some sort of perversion. it's not. it really is a curious reaction, one which i hope to understand some day.
i'm interested if others have this conflict? and i'd really be curious if any gay folks have the same discomfort when seeing heterosexuals being intimate.-
Probably because it was something new for you to witness hence why you felt uncomfortable with it.
Any sex orientation couple that displays 'too much' intimacy in public (in real world) makes me feel awkward.
My friend's friend has been kicked out by his parents after they found out that he is gay. According to the parents, he is no longer their son. Sad. You dumped out your own blood, your own son because his sexual identity clashes with your religion. You sacrificed your son for your religion.
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I don't see why it should matter if your kid says they're gay, just knowing that the kid is happy with their life and happy loving someone at all should be enough for you to be happy with it. I agree with the PDA though, but that goes for both gay and hetero couples, it makes me feel a bit awkward. -
Um...anyone kissing in public kind of weirds me out, whether lesbian or not. If my kid turned out to be gay/lesbian then I would have to accept that.
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Noooooooo kissing! Hetro, homo or both. Hubby and I won't allow my 17 yr old or 20 yr old straight daughters to kiss their bf's in front of us, just toooo ewwwww!!!
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While I would be slightly offput, I would never let my child know it. I would support them and just hope that the world has changed enough by the time they would realize that, that there would be less hate involved. Me being offput has little to do with the lifestyle and more to do with the way they could potentially be treated.-
Oops
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see, it is all due to lack of knowledge , i will give him the real life's knowledge from his /her childhood.
and if somehow he/she moves to that way. then i will shoot him.-
I really hope that was a joke.
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Hopefully someone will shoot him first if its not. -
Homosexuality is illegal in India. That could explain amitchopra22's attitude, as we tend to be products of our environment.
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I don't think i would ever have a problem with my child being homosexual. It's not my life, it's his/hers.
however they want to live it is up to them, i can only support and encourage that they find someone that will truly love them for who they are and to be happy with them.
and to be prepared for those that would see it otherwise and treat them unfairly simply because of their own ignorance. -
Everything will go on as normal.. Nothing changes, though it takes time for you to adapt to it.
And if you kick them out of the house, try to be in their shoes and you would know how they feel...
Cheers! -
I know! I would send them to Electro Convulsive Therapy like the good old days.
Or just carrying on loving them because the world is hard enough without their parents giving them shit too. -
Nothing would change. I would love my child, I would find ways to nag my child, I would give unsolicited advice to my child, and complain that their apartment isn't as clean as it should be....
Yup, same old, same old -
life is changing, nature is changing but who is the changer or who is bringing the change. only we. so only we can again take this world back to the original and true life. so why don't you think of taking nature again to nature's own beauty and love for which we came on this god's beautiful earth.
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Wow that was clear...........as mud.
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crpitt might have got what i wanted to say.
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definitely did NOT get what ever you were waffling on about.
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crpitt, i wanted to say that
why should we change the nature . we should keep it as it was given to us.
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Buddy, you're obviously incredibly ignorant about homosexuality--it is natural, and it is "what is given to us." You should learn something about it before you spout your hateful garbage. -
Oh right Amit, I did get you, you were talking shit.
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How disgusting in attitude and nature.
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Love them. Simple. -
I'm not a parent but I would say that if you have a child how can you do anything but love him/her and accept what they choose. You don't own that child. Live and let live and love and let live. -
Homosexuality exists in all the animal kingdom. It's just that humans are the only species that hates. Oh to be a sea gull, squid or penguin. ... -
As long as my kid doesn't decide his/her favorite activity is shopping I should be fine. Oh and never ever tells me he/she doesn't like skiing. That would really break my heart.
But then, my dad's gay so, you know... -
My daughter is Lesbian. That never was an issue between us. -
It's a fact of life that our children may not grow up as we ever expect! And surely, first & foremost, you have to educate yourself, people do not choose to be gay, who would make that choice? Who would choose for a life that's much harder and at the moment, very limiting. No one would! So with that in mind, remember your own past, imagine if your parents shunned you for your own natural destinies, whatever those may have been. Everyone needs support, guidance and nurturing to thrive. -
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I'd like to throw you out the window
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I'm curious as to what happened there.
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this is fairly obvious how a lot of people think about it
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I'd slap them on the back and welcome them to the club
Though...on the topic of making out in public, I really hate that when ANYONE does it...but I too was once a teenager, so I too was once guilty of the PDA. -
I didn't even like PDA when I was a teen
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what's a PDA?
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A Personal Digital Assistant.
Duh -
Public Display of Affection (Bad, Friday, Bad!) -
Hahahahahaha
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Love for your child isn't determined by their sexual orientation. -
What's funny is that my feelings on this issue are the same as my feelings would be if one of my children decided they wanted to be a priest: I would feel a sense of loss that they wouldn't bear their own children. But I understand that's my expectation and hangup, I guess. What is most important is that they are happy and can really find love in their lives.
The only other negative feeling I would feel would be fear for them and the way they would be treated. But if you know me, you know that the fear would come from a very protective place, and whoever would even think about hurting one of my kids better run. fast.
I cannot imagine, for any reason, shutting one of my children out of my life or choosing to live my life without them. I have been in a family where that has happened, and it just makes for sadness all around. How much better would it be to have the kind of relationship with your kids that they can reveal an essential truth about themselves without worry that it will divide you?
For me, there is nothing that should be able to do that to a family. -
Does it matter, it's still your kid?
Bottom line is that I would feel uncomfortable seeing my daughter kissing anyone, regardless of gender. But I would still love her just the same. -
What's wrong with that? -
I'd feel uncomfortable if a girl and a guy were putting on a public display too.
The only reason I feel uncomfortable if I see a gay couple displaying their affection is because I'm concerned for them- I'm concerned that they're being slightly reckless, because there's still a lot of people who hate that sort of thing out there, and I wouldn't want the couple to get bashed or killed or verbally abused or anything.
So if it were my kid, (if I had a teenager right NOW. Because I'm hoping that by the time any of my kids are teenagers things will have changed) I'd be fine with it, it's how they are. I'd just want to make sure that they're careful, in terms of keeping out of the way of homophobes. And I'd be sad that they might encounter abuse. I'd encourage ANY of my kids to adopt, so, it wouldn't bother me if any kids weren't biologically part of the family. Anything else, I'd expect of straight or gay children (like, not sleeping around, choosing good partners, etc) -
I would be curious to know the age of the people responding to this post. I would bet that the older generation would have the biggest problem with this.
When i was a kid you would never even hear the words gay or lesbian, being disowned by parents was commonplace if you were discovered.
What ever happened of freedom to choose?
Some of the nicest people i have ever met are gay or lesbian. -
Yaa there is no problem being a gay or lesbian.. Let these people live their lives...Sometimes i really wonder why these people exist....Nevermind..
Technoguy
Latest Tech Stuff
technology-boost.blogspot.com -
I do not like PDA. So, if my kid were doing it, I would not like it and all that I would do is probably leave or say something subtly.
I would not want my kid to be gay/lesbian. But if that is what my kid chose, I'll just say that I would not want him/her to choose that. But, again that is for them to decide and me to accept
You have a right to decide how you live your life. I have all right to tell my kids about my values and beliefs till they are not old enough to decide. After that they are on their own.-
'what your kid chose'?
Yeah cos he or she would totally choose to. -
@earthwire
I don't believe that anyone chooses to be gay, to be demeaned and ridiculed, rejected by their families, or coerced into Jesus camps, or tossed out onto the streets to become the target of homophobic gay bashers.
You either love your child exactly as they are or you don't. Moreover, if you are a homophobe then there's no need to share your religious values and beliefs with your teens - presumably they already know them.
IMO trying to dissuade a teen from being true to their natural inclination and orientation is harassment at the very least and bullying (abuse) at most. -
@Timethief
I never said that I am going to reject my own kid, for that matter anyone because of their sexual preferences. I cannot stop loving my child. One thing that I would ensure is that my kids are not scared to tell me about anything. I will support them to stand upto their right and not accept injustice.
And my belief number one is that discremination on the basis of sex/ race/ color/ sexual preference... is wrong. And that is why I said I will accept my kid's choice.
I will be uncomfortable in the beginning but may be thats because I don't have close gay friends. I hope that this will change if someone close to me is gay. -
Have you ever seen a teenager struggling with his/her sexual orientation? Forcing him/herself to go out with girls/guys because he/she doesn't want to be gay? Finding him/herself an outcast and brutalized for being different?
That is NOT a choice!
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Nothing happens. People are individual beings w/ thier own karma/likes and dislikes and passions.-
People are individual beings w/ thier own karma/likes and dislikes and passions.
Agreed.
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I really wouldn't mind if either one of them (I have one boy and one girl) decided he or she were gay. There's really nothing wrong with it. It's how they carry themselves in public and deal with those who are prejudice and don't know how to respect a person's privacy that matter. -
To me if my kid was gay it would be as normal to me as if they were straight, it just wouldn't matter to me in the slightest. My two best male friends are gay, and my best friend i grew up with is bisexual, they have never made me uncomfortable, love is love. -
Hopefully, what WON'T happen is what happened to me - I came out to my father and then we didn't speak for about 7 years because he didn't know how to talk to me anymore, and I wouldn't push the subject. I waited for him to come around to me, and it was very uncomfortable the first time we spoke (when I came home for a wedding).
Things are much better now, except my being gay is the one topic we never talk about. Not once have him or my mother asked about my love life ... they just don't want to know, and that makes me wonder if they would ever accept any partner I have into the family .. like they have for my 3 sisters. Hmm... -
all that would happen is that I'd have a gay son. I'd still have 2 living sons and that's all that matters to me.
now ten years ago my answer might've been different but I've matured since then. -
What happens? Absolutely nothing. -
I'd immediately let then know that they are officially SUB-American in the United States, and I'd teach them about agorism, bartering, and tax resistance as a way to navigate life in the U.S. as a Gay American without supporting a government whose laws HARM our families.
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I would have no problem with it. I have couple of very good friends who are gay. -
Then they'd be gay. I wouldn't try to dissuade them or force them to think otherwise. Gay or straight--as long as they're safe and don't do anything idiotically stupd (tall order, I know), then there's no problem. -
I remember reading Radcliffe Hall's "The Well of Loneliness" long years back (beautifully written). My kids I hope will lead their lives as they choose, not as I choose. That they have happiness and courage and responsibility. Other things don't matter. -
I am a lesbian and proud of it
I have never had too many issues with it, I have always had mostly a positive reaction to being gay.
So long as your child is happy then their sexuality shouldn't matter x -
well, i agree with BEAR
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