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What is God's role in marriage?
Posted by lastingmarriages • 8/21/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: building lasting marriages, divorce, God, save marriage
What is God's role in marriage? Can fear of God prevent you from seeking divorce? Can your faith in God cause you to work on saving your marriage?
I really want to know your thoughts on this.
-http://buildinglastingmarriages.com/
User Comments
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I don't know. I took my vows,and meant everyword. There shouldn't be a BUT,but there is. How do you get over it? -
Realistically, our vows will regularly be challenged. There are a wide range of issues that will tempt you to get out. Even if we are only married for 3 years, we already had a fair share of challenges. These include unmet expectations, unmet needs, miscommunication, money problems, lack of time for each other, etc.
Our most common problem is miscommunication. The best strategy is to talk honestly and lovingly.
For unmet needs or expectations:
Sometimes, I have this unhealthy tendency to think that my husband does not love me when he is unable to meet my needs or wishes. I know that is a lie! So the best solution is not to stay there. I try to remember his good traits. I know deep in my heart that my husband loves me very much. He is not perfect so I can not expect him to fulfill my every need and expectation. I try to focus on what he is able to give.
If our individual resources fail, our fear of God holds us together. We respect the God that brought us together.
-http://buildinglastingmarriages.com/ -
Say what? God, (a purported supernatural being whose existence can neither be proved not disproved) has a place in a marriage contract made between two consenting adults, (who may or who may not be believers) and evidenced by the government issuance of a marriage license. How odd.
If a couple who are NOT believers possessed of blind faith in a possibly non-existent supernatural being, have carefully selected a compatible marriage partner to enter a legal and binding contract with, and they have lived up to the terms of the contract, why would they need to acquire blind faith in order to "save" their marriage. Save it from what? Save it from whom?
If a couple who ARE believers possessed of blind faith in a possibly non-existent supernatural being, have carefully selected a compatible marriage partner to enter a legal and binding contract with, and they have lived up to the terms of the contract, why would they need to rely on faith "save" their marriage. Save it from what? Save it from whom? -
The primary reason most marriages fail is because the couple did not make the correct selection of a marriage partner in the first place. They chose the wrong partner, they acted out of lust and immaturity, and/or they had unrealistic expectations about marriage, and/or about changing the other partner to suit them after marriage.
Also one would have to be extremely naive not to recognize that religious scripture, dogma, doctrine and the counsel of religious leaders have been used to pressure women to remain in abusive marriages to violent men, who have been brainwashed with paternalism rooted in religiosity.
Of course one can blab on and on about the verse(s) in the book of Ephesians about Christian men being heads of the household and under the commandment to love their wives, who are under vows of obedience to them as lords and masters. However, when we roll out the stats we find that Christan men express their "love" in many unusual, immoral and illegal ways. The fact remains that 6/10 marriages fail prior to 10 years from the date of issuance of the marriage certificate. And as Christians are the majority while atheists are a minority one would reasonably assume that those stats reflect just how successful Christians aren't when it comes to selecting appropriate partners, entering into life time marriage commitments, and living up to them. -
Religious discussions are often fruitless . . .-
I agree.
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Religion is manmade, just like alcohol.
It's bad for everybody.
That's why I'm an Atheist.
Don't believe in religion, or any person superior to any other as far as being "god"-like. -
nothing...
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I was about to respond in my usual civil manner, but Timethief beat me to it.
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I've been practicing civility for a long, long time.
It's a challenge because I excel at sarcasm - no practice required. lol -
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All I know is that as I was driving home one day, I heard a booming voice and saw a burning bush that said "Behold, taketh she for your bride", and then an image of my now-wife belly dancing appeared.
I then muttered "so it is written, so shall it be."
I question not these matters of faith.-
Belly dancing worked on my husband too!
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I admit that's a total weakness of mine!
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I agree that you have to select the right partner. But I think even your best selection will still have flaws. I will not disprove that some Christians actually divorce. But I am speaking from my own experience that God plays a major role in our marriage. My husband and I share the same faith. In our times of weaknesses, it is God who keep us together. I sure want to be the best wife to him. But there are things that are beyond my control. Our God is sovereign. I trust that HE will keep us together.
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Thanks for sharing your opinion that a possibly non-existent supernatant being is a partner in your marriage to your husband. I dissent with your POV.
God = an allegedly supernatural, invisible and sovereign being whose existence cannot be proven or disproven
I don't believe God entered your marriage contract, made any vows, and signed any documents to witness that event, but if you do then you are entitled to hold that belief.
I'm thinking it could be convenient to believe it is God who keeps your marriage together, because conversely holding that belief that means God will also be responsible for your divorce, in the event that he should choose to allow your marriage to fail.
The truth is I don't follow the religious line of reasoning on this at all because I don't consider it to be "reasonable" or "logical". However, you are welcome to share your POV just as I am welcome to share mine. -
Ahem, TT!
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I was married once. She had a personality disorder and was prone to psychotic episodes. If God was sending me a message it was "get the hell out of there, boy".
God alone cannot overcome everything. -
We shall see,I have faith tho.in any event we always know we're not alone and that is the only thing getting me thru right now
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I do not expect everyone to believe in the same way that I stand for my beliefs.
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You have every right to believe whatever you want. I really hate religious discussions to be perfectly honest, though--they bring out the worst in so many people. Religious discussions never lead anywhere--you aren't going to change the atheists minds--and they won't change yours.
God, I HATE religious discussions on this forum. Sorry, but I really do. -
You know, I think felt the same way about both the many jesuscatalog (Christian religious threads aimed at evangelizing) we saw posted in the past, and the sexcatalog threads we see posted now on the forum. IMHO they both tend to bring out the worst in people and they never lead anywhere worth going. But all BC members have a right to promote our blogs on the forum. And all members have a right to choose to share their belief systems in such promotions. I recognize and accept that. It's too bad the block feature doesn't allow us to ignore threads by tags and categories.
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I don't know what jesuscatalog threads are--I don't think I have ever seen one, unless you are talking about another type of religious thread.
But sex discussions are fun usually and never get people upset and pissed off, which religious threads do. And the baffling thing is--these are always circular arguments that never go anywhere.
I have seen people become EXTREMELY nasty on religious threads--in a way that is totally unbecoming to them. I don't see that on the sex threads. When you attack another person's religious beliefs--that is highly personal, TT--you might not agree with that person's beliefs, but that person has *every right* to believe, pray, worship whoever they do.
Drives me effing crazy! -
lastingmarriages: this is what I have learned bout the people who disagree with your belifs you can A: pretend like they are not here,
B: just reply with off the wall stuff like (the hippos and alligators are getting along today),or
C: try to argue it out with them,but I have been using option B a lot,as of lately....its Soooooo much more fun! -
Holly - option B only "works" if you want to be thought of as having lost your mind.
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Then "B" works like a charm! -
Holly--I hate to tell you this. But most people think that your 'B' option is the only method you know for discussing anything. Honestly. I'm not trying to be cute or funny--just giving you some feedback here--because I don't think you are meeting your intended objective (that you stated here anyway).
Because Holly--when you START a thread--you seem to rely on option B. That's quite honestly the only type of statements/discussion I have ever heard from you.
Honestly. -
Just to you guys.haha... I actually I have WONDERFUL friends here at bc. Its only about 10 people out of the 200,000 I don't wish to hold a convo with. That's how it always gonna be though. There will always be those little few people that u don't like or that doesn't like you. Now when you look at the BIG picture I think to myself HMMMM am I gonna let 10 out of 200,000 get me down. Or am I gonna listen to the majority...let's see here a minute shall we?...
MAJORITY RULES!!! Hahaha that's why I LOVE DEMOCRACY!!! -
Holly, you really have lost it - you've managed to alienate nearly everyone. What's sad is that you don't even realise it. I pity you, now.
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i iz dumdb but i iz pretendingage that i iz playin' dumbbz unli. -
Awe well that's kinda sad. You go on ahead and have your pity party tho,I gotta go cook dinner...wooo hoooo its Friday movie night and I'm in the mood for MADEA...
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Holly, I'll spell this out for you: you're pathetic. Get help.
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What is God's role in marriage? No clue. We don't do church or religion.
Can fear of God prevent you from seeking divorce? Nope. Love my husband bottom line. Has nothing to do with a deity.
Can your faith in God cause you to work on saving your marriage? Nope. Love for my husband can.
Not saying I'm atheistic, I have many beliefs that are derived from many religions even Wicca. That said I'm with Melinda and TT I hate religion and sex threads. -
God (strictly speaking Holy Spirit) only has a role in marriage if BOTH OF YOU bring him in to it. Otherwise, it's just a piece of paper signed by a courthouse.
(Conversely, it is possible to be married without being legally married, though one may wonder what the point would be.) -
If a mutual belief in God is an incentive for two people to accept and tolerate each other's faults, it seems like a positive thing to me. Reminds me of these lines of Blake:
"Mutual forgiveness of each vice
Such are the Gates of Paradise."-
wow
"Mutual forgiveness of each vice
Such are the Gates of Paradise."
wow.....
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he gets to watch while we make love and get jealous cuz he has no wife, no sex and scared people kissing up to him. he lives his sex life vicariously through mine
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Oh you are a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad girl!
*snickers* -
i promise. sometimes, we even let him hold the camcorder. he doesn't want me to put his name in the blog. he's ashamed to be a voyeur.
ps: I know what he did to Mary and who the father is
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What is God's role in marriage?
It is whatever you want it to be.
In my marriage three's a crowd!-
In my marriage three's a crowd!
lol -
Well, there are some people who believe God is female, then 3 wouldn't be a crowd in that case!!!
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I would out rank God!
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Jesuscatalog? Oh my blog, tt. Surely you jest... -
Now lasting where were we? Oh yea I remember we were @ the,BUT part. Do you think if you get a divorce you will go to hell?
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the butt part is always the best part as you know.
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Hi,
Sorry for the late reply. I have been busy with other things.
We go to hell because of our sins. But God in his grace, sent JESUS so that all who believe in His perfect sacrifice will no longer go to hell. So to answer your question, it does not depend on whether you divorce or not, the question is whether you accept JESUS' sacrifice or not. For more details, we can chat about it.
Regards,
Grace
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God role.................. can be used for blaming a scapegoat...when things go wrong...
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Historically, marriages were never about love nor about God, it was about gaining property and marrying into a family who had money and that it. It is only in our modern age that we seek marriage as a means to solidify our love to our partners. Personally I do not believe in marriage just as I do not believe in the stereotypical concept of God. Thus the idea that some invisible, mystical being saving peoples marriages is, in my view, a little hysterical. Although that is simply my own opinion. -
Marriage is nothing more than long-term mutual prostitution contract with a fancy social status.
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This is true.
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you couldn't be more wrong
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@ Timethief " God = an allegedly supernatural, invisible and sovereign being whose existence cannot be proven or disproven "
What made you say disproven ? Does that mean God does not exist as well as exists ?? -
This sets the perfect stage for God bashing.. relax guys God does have a place but don't blame Him for all that happened in your life. When you speak of God you have to see from a very high level point of view-
@crazyTsu Ha ! Just as you do ? flying high above, Did you ever saw God up there ? How is He ?
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Very emancipating,thank you
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"What is God's role in marriage?"
To look down and laugh.-
I've heard that sometimes, He gets very angry too.....
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Naaaaa he is definitely laughing. We guilt ridden Catholics support a mean spirited god. Wonder what the breakdown in population between heaven and hell is?
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Honestly, I am very hurt reading this thread. I wanted to glorify God in saying that HE is the true author of marriage and HE is the one who sustains everything including marriage. But most of what is written in this thread dishonors the God I worship.
We all have issues and yes, we live in an imperfect world. Most of us may have been hurt very deeply that we may tend to blame God or not believe in God. But no matter what we say, GOD does exists! I mean I can not in any way imagine that all that I see now will just randomly show up from nothing. There must be an intelligent designer! And that designer deserves to be worshipped, not blasphemed.
I pray that we will all see God as who HE is. HE is not what you say HE is.
No HE is not a escape goat. We are accountable to Him as a couple. It is His Holy Spirit who enables us to love each other in our weak times. I have experienced a really difficult pregnancy. I almost lost my son. I had to be in bed rest for 4 months. In those times, my doctor told me, there really is nothing they can do. We have to pray. I felt at that time what the Bible says that we live and breath, and everything that happens depend on God. After 9 months of struggle, God in His grace kept our son and he is now almost 16 months old. During these times, our faith kept us together as a couple.
FYI, there is no divorce in our country but some chooses to separate. But if we ever choose to do that. We will not blame God for it. God has been giving us more than enough guidance and blessing to keep our marriage. If we fail, it is because of us, not God.
Re: Historically, marriages were never about love nor about God.
Please do not generalize based on a certain part of history. That was not what God has intended.-
Please do not generalize based on a certain part of history. That was not what God has intended.
What God intended has been interpreted by man's words. Thus the reason we have so many opinions and many different religions.
Men also believe that churches should be non profit and no taxes paid. Yet many religious leaders live in luxury while many of their constituents live in poverty. Even thou some religions state that a priest take a vow of poverty.
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Honestly, I am very hurt reading this thread. I wanted to glorify God in saying that HE is the true author of marriage and HE is the one who sustains everything including marriage. But most of what is written in this thread dishonors the God I worship.
I honestly dont understand what else you expected? You asked a question inviting peoples opinion and people opined.. was your intention merely to see people echo your own views? In that case you could have simply put forth your beliefs and asked if everyone agreed with you or whether they agreed with you. -
It is own belief or common language
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