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What Makes A Relationship Work? NEED YOUR ANSWERS!
Posted by jeffmccord • 6/17/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: answers, Dating, love, people, Personal, questions, relationships
My awesome blogging community:
Please help me out! Read this article and let me know (on the article in the comments or even here if need be) what ONE thing makes a relationship work!
www.jeffmccord.org/relationships-what-keeps-them-going/
User Comments
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Big breasts and a can do attitude.-
Sh@t, now my marriage is doomed to fail.. -
Not necessarily, you might have other talents.
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Ha ha ha, ok, so maybe that's why he's kept me..
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this is it! no other post can be more awesome...
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understanding.-
I posted this on your blog to your topic -
I think "understanding" can keep a relationship going. While I am sure some people may think that "trust" is important, I think that understanding goes further becuase it will get each other through even the hardest of times. Trust and understanding my go hand in hand, It's hard to only choose just one thing to be dependent on in a relationship. If I had to choose just one, I think that understanding would go the distance.
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Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.-
Abstinence makes the back ache and knees hurt.
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Feel free to leave comments on the site as well so I can make sure I capture them all.
Thanks guys! -
Melted chocolate and cream! -
The "YUP" strategy.
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compromise -
I've just posted a rather long comment. :-) Keep the romance alive and you'll not fail, in my opinion. We have for 39 years.
Marge in Reno -
I agree with "daysies" that replied to your post, and thus change my answer from "understanding" to second her "communication." First, to understand one another, you must communicate.
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communication. that's it!
www.BoinkedPika.co.nr
www.BoobooStrider.co.nr -
Such awesome responses. THANK YOU SO MUCH! Truly.
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Be respectful to each other. Don't put your partner down. -
Trust and loyalty to each other. www.askaboutloveandsex.com
Please visit our blog -
Think of at least one good thing to tell your partner in a meaningful way everyday. It does not have to be "hallmark" worthy everytime, but I I found if I do this with my wife (and my kids for that matter) I grow closer to her.-
Aww...how sweet.
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Communication - no matter how uncomfortable... if you leave it unspoken, it destroys relationships.-
AMEN - that's what I was going to say... along with making sure that as a man, you LISTEN to the woman... most woman never feel heard by their partners. -
@outside - you are correct on that point.. unfortunately it's a brain game too, one of the best pieces of information I read out of the Mars/Venus thing was how questions are asked.. I found it quite interesting how our brains as male/female work.
Woman says.. "could you take out the garbage"
Man thinks.. "I could, but don't want to right now"
Woman says..."would you take out the garbage"
Man thinks.."okay" -
Ah, too true... and of course, where would the mystery and the challenge be if our brains worked the same way. lol. Thanks for the comic relief... intentional or not. I laughed, because it's true.
It reminds of the movie "The Break Up" where she says, "I just wanted you to WANT to do the dishes" and he snorts back, "but why would I WANT to do the dishes?"
*sigh!* -
LOL - have not seen that movie, but that line is perfect!
Reminds me.. have a pile of dishes myself.. Ohhhh Buck! -
@sdk1988,
That is because when a man hears "could", he thinks, of course I am able to do that, are you questioning my ability? Whereas, "would" is asking a direct question.
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I think a lot of it is pure luck of finding the right person.
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The ability to not take things personally and let the other person be who they need to be -
If you have to ask...it's doomed.
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Give 80%, expect 20%...and make sure to enjoy the small moments, the same as the big moments. -
Listening, and remembering everything is always 50-50, one way or another.-
I don't think the 50-50 mentality is the way to do it.
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Oh yeah...and try not to marry a Lesbian.
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why? what if you are a lesbian too?
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Communication. I'm telling you, almost EVERY problem in relationships stems from lack thereof. Talk about eveything in an effective format (i.e. not yelling) and the relationship will (peacefully) last! -
Unless you marry a Lesbian.
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If the other person has a lot of money, that can help. -
I believe the one aspect that makes relationships work is personal growth. A person needs to have gone through personal growth and know who they are as a person before committing to a partnership with another person. It is a huge responsibility and knowing your own strengths and weaknesses is a good thing. I believe personal growth and wisdom is essential! -
i remember you say to the girl "i love you" and in mariage "till death do us part." respect yourself saying those things and work out to remember those two phrases (that's from you end)...it won't work if she does not feel you anyway working on those two phrases. in keeping those two phrases, you won't be misled. o by the way, cast out your pride, man, that kills a relationship. -
Kindness. -
man is to love the woman and the woman is to respect the man that is how you make it work aleast most of the time and an understanding of the direction of the relationship is going. -
How could we miss the most important...Love. -
only one word : TRUST
I have nothing more to say.... -
I am still amazed that every day my discussion gets comments. I can't thank you enough.
I'm obviously going through a hard time with the person I love. This is one of that hardest things I've gone through... and I've been through a lot.
I read something today that hit me so hard.
"Loving you is like holding on to sand. The harder I hold on to it, the more it slips away."
It's hard because I love him so much and I know he loves me, but he's holding back. After 2 years, some good and some bad, I just can't seem to let go. But maybe that's what I need to do. I truly don't know.
Again, thank you all for opening up a bit of yourselves so that others may see that real relationships can work, albeit it takes time and lots of energy... and even some luck.
I wish you all the best -
Jeff -
Lots of money and even more awesome sex. -
try this web.
everybodygetslove.blogspot.com
oh and.always try to keep relationship fresh.try new stuff.note.note new person..-.--
look at you actin' like jesus and what not, going around breathing life back into the dead
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need trust, need communications, need acceptance and of course you need love for the relationship to work -
Just be yourself--don't be an actor. Oh yeah, and learn how to cook and give massages. -
Honesty and balance. -
Communication and Compromise by and with both parties engaged in the relationship. -
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Oh no! Link dropping! Call the link dropping police!
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compromise, and honesty. -
Dont project your stuff onto the other person they are your shadow. Own it.
Make each moment your last you may die.Believe it.
If its a woman. Let her have her own way. But not all the time.
Be kind and be authentic.
And tell her lies as well like she looks good even when she feels bad.
Take responsibility for your actions of body speech and mind. All actions have a consequence.
Love her unconditionaly and communicate wisely. -
I think to make a relationship work their needs to be a mutual respect for not just the things in common, but the differences.
My big thing is, Love me for me...and I will love you for you. Don't try to change each other. Accept each other. And hot hot sex of course...lol -
It depends on the two people, I think. Both might be jealous people, in which they would value trust. Some are Introverts who want understanding and communication. Some are extroverts who want to have fun, keep romance alive, go out to dinners and movies. Of course, all of these could be established in a relationship, but as far as keeping it going? Yes, i'd have to say that it depends on the couple. -
do things together. if the only time you're in the same room is at bed time when you're falling asleep your relationship can suffer. make time to do things together even if it's as silly as grocery shopping together or taking an hour to go out and have a meal and talk a little. you can't be a couple if you're always apart, some time together is key. -
Being your own person but not being selfish with it -
takes two to tango, both agree to work on the relationship. extra load on the man on how to always win the heart of his woman :-)
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A couple, should be forthcoming and honest with their own issues and insecurities that arise from their relationship with each other. It is hard, especially when it seems that one person or the other seems not to care about it.
It is a tricky situation to be in, because there is a certain amount of expectations unconsciously set by both parties in a relationship. And sometimes, such expectations can kill off the fun and joy of being in a relationship.-
Very well said. I think that self disclosure is difficult and while we may want to be honest we fear being vulnerable too.
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Before you even start, don't go into a relationship expecting it to make you happy. You have to bring your own peace of mind with who you are to the table. "You complete me" is a recipe for disaster.
If you're already in a relationship and you're unhappy, see if you can find it within yourself before you start expecting your partner to fill the void. If you find it there, you can find it anywhere--except maybe from the partner who expects you to make them happy.
And Dude(though I hardly ever use the word), those teeth in the add before the comments are really hard to look at. I'd reconsider the ad and the prominent placement. -
Having a good balance of common interests, and seperate interests is important I think. Having a few things that the other person is completely uninterested in is nesessary for providing each person with their own space when they need it.
Of course this is in a addition to the basics, trust, communication, loyalty, sexual attraction. -
trust and communication. -
Love is the most important ingredient.
And do unto others what you wants others do unto you. -
i truly agree mr.jeffmccord...love is like sand!the harder you hold the more it slips away....i'm sorry u are in rough patch,hopin for you to get better soon...
i read this long back...
if u love somethin/someone truly,set it free.if it is yours it will return!!
good luck...n get tat smile sooner!I believe life is too short,don't waste any of it brooding.if today was your last day on the planet u don't wanna die a sad,sorry old man do u?i hope u want to die wid a happy heart n a happy face:)
sorry,i tend to talk a lot!!i'm d biggest chatterbox alive:) -
just wanted to check the notify box this time:)
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@ janani
- FWIW did you notice that jeffmccord posted this thread a year ago? 6/17/08
Did you also notice this on his profile page? Last seen 1 month ago -
Thank you Janani.... don't mind Timethief - I read every single response as we have EMAIL and the responses come to me. I appreciate the dialogue even though my question was asked a year ago - others are learning from it too.
I'm happy to report I am a very happy person... but appreciate the response.
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hello..jeffmccord.......glad to hear you've crossed the bump:)keep going
btw timethief..if my posting has bothered u in any way,i'm sorry!!!-
janani - TT is a "teacher" or "instructor" or "helper" on BC.
There was no anger in the comment or anything like that.
TT is often "dry" sounding - but she's EXTREMELY helpful - ya didn't bother her at all... she was just letting you know that the thread was originally started a LONG time ago - and that Jeff hadn't been around BC for awhile - so he might not be getting the responses.
However, it appears - as he answered ya - that he has actually kept up with the convo - getting the emails (not everyone does that - yanno?)
Anyhow just wanted to clue ya in - cause you didn't do anything wrong at all. K? -
you're most welcome - thanks darling!
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The best solution is live in another country to the one you love
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I agree. Of course that's because of love.
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The one thing that makes a relationship work is that both people have to understand the reason for the relationship. For example, the reason for 98% of relationships in New York City is financial support, and your a fool if you think otherwise. So if one partner doesn't realize this from the jump, then the relationship will fail.-
Dude, that's a pretty lame excuse for loving someone and sounds a bit jaded. Sorry, don't believe that one -but thanks for your opinion.
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Duct tape, and a secure, preferably sound proof closet. -
Nothing. You're fucked. Make the best of it for as long as you can and then move on. Good luck to you. -
Wait, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the reason for every relationship is financial support. I lived in new York for my whole life and I came to my conclusion about NYC relationships based on my experiences as well as conversations with friends, coworkers and aquiantences. Of cousre, excluded from that are people that don't have the responsibility of paying bills. There are many reasons why people get into relationships, so what I'm saying is that you have to understand not only your reason, but your potential partners' as well. Once that is understood, then you can determine if that person is for you. As far as love is concerned, I don't know if it exists, but I think the more time you spend with someone, your feelings should become stronger.
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Trust,Patience, Commitment and Loyalty -
"Sharpening the Knife". Working on the relationship to keep it from getting dull.
soonergirl.wordpress.com/2009/06/14/sharpening-the-knife/ -
Understanding and patience
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