Discussions
What makes it a relationship?
Posted by ArsenicCookies • 5/22/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: Dating, friends with benefits, friendship, love, Romance, sex
Nowadays it seems as though the old school idea of asking someone out is over. With my ex boyfriend, I did not even know we were dating because in my mind you cant just say you are. One person has to ask the other, otherwise I don't think its ever official.
What do you think constitutes a relationship?
If a couple is sleeping together, kissing, joking around, discussing trips, sharing stories, etc are they in a relationship? I would say no, they are friends with benefits. What about you?
What lines define the differences between "sex buddy", friends, friends with benefits, lovers, dating?
It seems like there should be some sort of tell tale signs but my friends and I are all disagreeing so I decided to bring it here seeing as how this is where we settle most of our debates
User Comments
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I would say exclusivity.-
good point. I agree, that's why I say that there should be some form of official status like asking the other (which in my mind is the equivelant of going "steady")
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Exclusivity and how you introduce them to your friends and family.-
how about "this is Amy" haha? and nothing more is mentioned
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For me the first sign is .. How you are introduces you to the family and friends (your title that he gives to you)...another sign would be if during conversations he refer to both of you as we or us ..together as in couple... -
A commitment or understanding or intention to set up house and share one's life together. A walking or strolling together toward the future. -
how about LUV!!! HMMMMM do u LUV homeboy?????haha!! sorry bout yesterday! emergency with jayleigj! Everything is ok tho!!!! NO STICHES!!!!! THANK THE LORD!!!!-
lol this one ain't about me. I know my role. This is about Amy Lynn
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Well does amy luv him?
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she says no but talks about him more than I do Gabriel
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All very interesting points, the introductions seem to be a shared consensus of status. Do the dynamics change if both are commitment-phobes?
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There are all kinds of "relationships." You're free to pursue or construct whatever kind suits you best.
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I wonder about the need for definitions. If both people are happy with the way things are, how you name it hardly seems to matter. And if someone isn't happy, then that's the thing to be addressed, not "what label should we hang on this?"-
that is what a few of my friends were saying, for me personally there is a lot more of myself that I reveal depending on the type of relationship I am in. If I am dating someone, they will probably see just about every side of me, and I will be more upfront and less guarded with them because there is some level of trust whereas if I am casually involved, I gloss over most of what is important to me and treat them differently because there is no expectation of a future it's just something to pass the time. With me, each level is a wall coming down. Not sure of others. Amy's dilemma is she wants to celebrate an anniversary that we're not sure exists
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Well, it's an anniversary of SOMETHING, right?
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True I suppose. A drunken hook up. I would find it odd if someone expected roses and such to celebrate it but to each his own. Seems like a man would be offput by such a thing
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Endlessly-what's the point of having any kind of relationship with someone in which you have to "gloss over most of what is important to me." Sounds like a bore and a total waste of time. I wouldn't want that kind of arrangement even with a cat.
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those types of relationships are more for physical reasons. Adding elements to it changes it into something more, which is not always wanted. It is simply filler. Different strokes for different folks I guess. I just cannot see the point of completely opening up to someone you just start seeing, that to me seems like a recipe for disaster
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Hmm,I don't think so
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huh?
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I don't think so 2 ur last comment.........I mean it's not like it's a kindergarten crush! When 2 mature adults get 2gether it should b exactly that. No highschool head games! SAVE THE DRAMA 4 UR MAMA
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"No highschool head games! SAVE THE DRAMA 4 UR MAMA"
well that was kind of my point. If you were on a date with a man, telling him "oh and by the way I have anger management issues, hate romance, drink like a fish, cuss like a sailor, hate the holidays, am afraid of chickens, etc" and I have no intention on developing a relatioship with him, that seems to cause undue drama.
Haha my love life is not in question here though, I am a 'buddy', tis Miss Amy's that we are trying to figure out
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I kno that. Well u don't say it all at 1 time. Tell her if she likes homeboy,2 tell him.y'all both fig out where u stand in the begining so u don't waste ur time. If they are both willing 2 give it a go that's when u learn about eachother's skelotons in the closet,which btw EVERYONE does.
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i think there should be clear communication when you reach another level in a relationship. like going from casually dating to seriously dating, girlfriend/boyfriend status...etc. i started dating a guy and was upfront that i wasn't looking for something serious just an occasional casual date at most and we went on maybe 5 dates over a 3 month period (we had mutual friends so we saw each other inbetween those dates) and unbeknownst to me, he was calling me his girlfriend. when i asked him about it, he said 'yeah you're my girlfriend' and i was like, 'umm, i think i get a say in that.' i felt put-out b/c he never asked me. if you don't talk to me about it, then its not official.-
agreed. That is how I am
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Compromising.If you two once have a little fight but you still wanna move on,then bam!You're a cute couple. -
When Two Individual Board On The Same Drunken Boat & Witness The Endless Sea Together! -
Speaking from experience, it seems that my friends that I have who are dating prefer to keep their acknowledgment of dating to a mutual, silent level.
Sometimes misunderstandings do occur because of that. -
I think you guys should talk about it. Being confused about this just is a waste of energy. Why not just ask and get a clear understanding of what the relationship is? -
I urge all the reader.. to not to fall in the trap of a relation ship...instead try and under stand and learn to relate...
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LOVE IS not a relationship. Love relates but it is not a relationship. A relationship is something finished. A relationship is a noun; the full stop has come, the honeymoon is over. Now there is no joy, no enthusiasm, now everything is finished.
You can carry it on, just to keep your promises. You can carry it on because it is comfortable, convenient and cosy. You can carry it on because there is nothing else to do. You can carry it on because if you disrupt it, it is going to create much trouble for you.
Relationship means something complete, finished, closed. Love is never a relationship; love is relating. It is always like a river, flowing and unending. Love knows no full stops; the honeymoon begins but never ends. It is not like a novel that starts at a certain point and ends at a certain point. It is an ongoing phenomenon. Lovers end, love continues. It is a continuous process. It is a verb, not a noun.-
Compelled me to agree with you. But even if a relationship is started (or in your words, ended) in a relationship ... it remains unpredictable. Anytime something wrong may happen and the love is gone ... in such cases relationship becomes meaningless.
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And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure and relationship is a security, relationship has a certainty. Relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. We would like tomorrow to be according to our ideas; we don’t allow it the freedom to have its own say. So we immediately reduce every verb to a noun.
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Commitment.-
unless you have an open relationship, in which case you can sex up other people.
Not something I could partake in, but I guess for some people it works and they still genuinely love/care for each other. -
@ Footiam...... "But it has to be a commitment from one heart to another. It does not even need to be verbalised, because to verbalise it is to profane it. It has to be a silent commitment; eye to eye, heart to heart, being to being. It has to be understood, not said".
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I say just be happy with what you have. I have a situation where I am not sure what is up with us. We act like a couple, tell people we are and that we are getting married lol but in all reality we have a great time together but have never even kissed. Not sure if we are just friends or that neither one of us started anymore. We talk to each other like we are a couple and all, including talking about moving to Florida. Is confusing situation but he is a great person and if we only end up friends then at least I have a great friendship and if we end up more then that is great too. Not sweating it just enjoying being with him when we are together.-
chicky.In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.
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Relationship has a lot to do with liking, friendship, making pair and do share. But, it can be without sex. A buddy may have great relationship with you even if he never see you. Think of the electronic media we are using now to discuss this topic. ... Who knows, this kind of discussion may turn into a relationship... liking, friendship,etc. of course far from sex. So, sex is not the deciding factor of relationship.
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she figured it out. Apparently he thought that they were best friends and she thought that they were engaged. Tried to tell her... but no one ever listens to good ol Endlessly
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If both of you have 'in a relationship' on your Facebook and you have both deleated all your dating site profiles...hahahaha..-
LOL
Heck I have in a relationship on myspace because I had a ton of singles guys sending me messages 
Never put I was there for relationships just friends. It has now stopped. -
I also have in a relationship. I change all my stuff to either engaged or in a relationship after ever photo shoot
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Chemical Reaction -
his is Forever Friendship.
When you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit
and makes that dark and empty world ... Read more
Suddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, the sad times,
and the confused times.
Your forever friend holds your hand
and tell you that
everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend for life,
and forever has no end ....................................
Wishing you happy friendship's day ....!!!!!!!!!
All my heart JOAKIM
How much are you my friend?
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