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What will be your occupation in the coming Dark/Feudal Age?

Posted by hatingtherain • 7/27/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: dark ages, feudalism, occupations

What will be YOUR occupation during the coming Dark Ages?

Here are a few examples of Coming Feudal/Dark Ages Occupations if you're having trouble thinking up one of your own:

Farmer
Midwife
Hermit
Serf
Warlock
Herbalist
Horseshoer
Bard
Evil Feudal Lord
Tanner
Metal Scavenger
Mason
Camp Follower

(this is supposed to be fun)

User Comments

7/27/09

hatingtherain

You can also suggest occupations for your BC friends

That might even be funner

[reply]
7/27/09

drjay1966

Love slave to hatingtherain.

[reply]
1. 7/27/09
  
  hatingtherain
  
  I'm not sure you could handle it boy!
2. 7/27/09
  
  drjay1966
  
  I could certainly try...
7/27/09

timethief
[reply]
1. 7/27/09
  
  hatingtherain
  
  Awesome (you could almost be ayla!)
2. 7/27/09
  
  timethief
3. 7/27/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  I remember I read Valley of the Horses when I was 10 years old thinking it was a novel about horses. Boy was I shocked.
4. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  lol ...
5. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  @hatingtherain
6. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  I am not surprised--but I loved the Children of the Earth series! I have all of them as well--and like TT, I read them from time to time. They are wonderful books--so well researched and so well written. The author, I believe, used to be a anthropologist.
7/27/09

hatingtherain

I'll be the Hermit, I'm practically already there!

[reply]
7/27/09

Sam1982

I'd be the hooded thief - experienced in archery and has a vast knowledge of the occult

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  snappysparrow
  
  me too.
2. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  How about I persuade you into being a spy of sorts. I would of course pay generously and you can of course keep your 'findings'
7/28/09

PetLvr

Editor for the Dark Ages Daily Journal

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  dosox
  
  LOL
2. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  @petlvr
3. 7/28/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Women don't work in the dark/feudal age I'm afraid. You are welcome to make dinner though.
4. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  @dbowles
7/28/09

Stillthinking

I would be the hermit.

What is a camp follower? It sounds vaguely like prostitution...

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
2. 7/28/09
  
  hatingtherain
  
  a camp follower is a war campaign groupie:)
  
  some are prostitutes
3. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  Hmmmm "some". And some are free of charge? lol
7/28/09

Friday13

Probably a hermit and part-time herbalist.

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  Hmmm ... do you perchance live in a shady grove?
7/28/09

SweetViolet

I'd be Lady of the Manor. I've been practicing for more than five years now...

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  Rory
  
  Somehow that makes absolute sense!!!
2. 7/30/09
  
  SweetViolet
  
  Well, I can also knit, crochet, embroider, quilt, sew, mend, I know how to preserve foods, how to keep a kitchen garden...those are all "Lady of the Manor" skills, ya know...
  
  I can also keep a household budget, but I'm not too sure about my ability to boss around servants...I'm more of a "cooperative" type than a "commander" (I ask my maid to do things, like the ironing, rather than tell her: "Thandiswe, can you clean up the kitchen, please? It's rather a mess...").
7/28/09

jeremyjanson

Viking raider with crew of fat-lady opera singer vikings who ransack your town AND sing opera while they're doing it! Two torments in one! I'll carry away half of you as slaves to Denmark, where you will perform hard labor all day long and be fed on nothing but Ludafisk, while the other half will be Shanghai'd in to our opera singer crew and spend the rest of their lives raiding other villages while having their ears burned out by Wagner.

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  SweetViolet
  
  HA! Lutefisk is Norwegian, not Danish!! And you and your Scandinavian thugs will have a hard time getting down here to the Horn of Africa to loot and pillage! All of your fat ladies will be skinny minnies by the time they sail all this way and the Zulus will make mince out of them!
  
  So there! Nyah!
2. 7/28/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  It's okay! We brought excess fat ladies so they can eat each other when the food runs low, and you'll be our special captive....
3. 7/28/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  (BTW: Danish people eat Lutefisk too. They're just more urbane.)
4. 7/30/09
  
  SweetViolet
  
  Have you ever tried that stuff? The smell alone could classify it as a WMD! (Part of my heritage is Swedish/Norwegian and there are a lot of Scandinavians where my father lives...although we call them "Scandihoovians").
  
  Fortunately, that was NOT one of the heritage dishes my grandmother (who was from Minnesota) kept alive! But I've smelt it at pot lucks and is it even more disgusting than the local delicacy "roll mops" (basically pickled herring in soured milk)...and that's pretty bad! Unfortunately, all I have to offer is gravlax (sugar-and-salt cured salmon).
  
  Now, back to your thug fat ladies...you do realize the the current president of South Africa is not one of those peacenik Xhosas, right? It's Jacob Zuma, a Zulu (who are a warrior tribe)...and he's friends with the Zulu king, who now holds Shaka Zulu's throne. You don't wanna mess with this guy...between him and Zuma they have a battalion of wives who will make mincemeat out of your warbling Brunhildes!
5. 7/30/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  Our Opera will suppress them! Besides, smelly foods are excellent for pursuing escaped slaves.
6. 10/27/09
  
  geekchick
  
  I'm applying for your opera singer crew. 20+ years of experience singing opera, ability to learn 200 pages of new music each week, familiar with most of the repertoire, and also have mastered the basics of the fighting style of Fiore dei Liberi, as well as having translated a 16th-century fighting manuscript from Provencal into English. Plus I can read, write and speak French.
7. 10/27/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  Can you carry a sword and fight? If so, you're in! Great pay, lots of good Norwegian baking and coffee, and sexy Scandinavians, and you get to rape and pillage, the only downside is if we run out of food you might get eaten.
7/28/09

owlbarn

Man! I am loving this group

[reply]
7/28/09

wehireu

soothsayer, maker of sayings, cunning man

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  @Owlbarn
7/28/09

carsonfb

Alchemist

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
7/28/09

dbowles1017

Ahh I see my minions behaved properly. Naturally I will be the King/Emperor.

My first act of kindness (evil?) is to grant drjay's wish. He is now HTR's love slave. However in the event of him 'not being able to handle it' she has the right to relinquish him. But she must promptly find a new love slave as no woman shall be without a love slave.

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  Rory
  
  I'll be a General in your Army ... I'll teach the buggers how to shoot!! Don't expect me to be on the front line.
2. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  We will be chilling on our horses atop a hill.
7/28/09

Rory

I think I'd like to be a Bowyer ... and by way of that a Master Archerer.

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  I do believe you mean "Bowman" as in Master Archer.
2. 7/28/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  @rory- How would you like to be a general in my army (the kings army)? I could use a master marksman.
  
  And bowyer is one who makes bows.
3. 7/28/09
  
  Rory
  
  @TT - A Bowyer makes the bows and arrows. Archer's weapon is a bow and arrow ...
  
  Actually, if you want to be more specific - Bowman and Archer are effectively the same thing. Webster's refers the Bowman entry to Archer.
4. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  @Rory
  Thanks for the information.
5. 7/28/09
  
  Rory
  
  No worries TT ... we were on the same page! Pah-tate-o ... Poh-tawt-o.
6. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  @Rory
7/28/09

MadameX

I won't live long enough to need a new occupation, but if I did I could probably make it as a seamstress, since I do all of my sewing by hand.

[reply]
7/28/09

Rainhat

I'd be a bard. Or a goldsmith. If you try to take my gold thingies, I'll flute your ears off.

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  @Rainhat
2. 7/28/09
  
  celticmusicfan
  
  @tt do you sing opera ,broadway or country (curious minds want to know)
3. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  @celticmusicfan
4. 7/28/09
  
  celticmusicfan
  
  Hmmm bard manager... good suggestion! You probably sound like Janie Frickie? Hmmm? I was thinking of a town crier but I don't want to bring the bad news.
5. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  I don't "twang" like Janie Frickie does, and I don't like so-called "country singers" who do.
6. 7/28/09
  
  celticmusicfan
  
  Linda Rondstadt ok ok I am pushing it LOL.
7. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  That's more like it.
8. 7/30/09
  
  Rainhat
  
  Good idea with the duets, let's do that.
  
  I took opera singing lessons, but I sing more mellow kind of stuff now. I used to sing a lot of irish/english folk in a band, but the band split years ago.
7/28/09

celticmusicfan

i'd be a Celtic music fan.not a job?

[reply]
7/28/09

DeadRooster

Yarn burner

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  hatingtherain
  
  what's that?
2. 7/30/09
  
  hatingtherain
  
  Deadrooster I have a MUCH better job for you...and you already have plenty of experience, you might like it
7/28/09

amybyrd21

Farmer, and animal midwife. Cooking asshole can be the town idiot and cook for everyone.

I still luv ya u know!!!!

[reply]
1. 10/25/09
  
  crazyTsu
  
  @CA: +1
2. 10/25/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  haha. missed that first time around
7/28/09

Deray28

Local witch

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  Hmmm ... then won't you please connect with me?
  I'm a Herbalist (green witch).
2. 7/28/09
  
  Deray28
  
  Awesome, can you find me some asphodel? I need to kill a nasty being near me, muajajajaja.
3. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
4. 7/28/09
  
  Deray28
  
  I tried looking Leth up and came up empty, please do enlighten me oh great green healer!
5. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
7/28/09

SailboaterRob

I'd be a pirate.

Oh wait,,,, that's what I am now!

Arrrr.

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  Hmmm ... you have a sea worthy craft and crew, and I'll bet you that we could use a navy and an Admiral of the Fleet.
2. 7/28/09
  
  SailboaterRob
  
  Would Rum be involved?
  
  And thanks for the promotion.
3. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
7/28/09

calais50

Since I'm a volunteer at the local raptor center, I would be a falconer: expert responsible for the care and training of hawks for the sport of falconry.

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  Cool! It will be grate to have a Falconer. I have always wanted a Merlin.
7/28/09

AndyRD

Hermit. So basically I'll stay the same. >_>

[reply]
1. 7/28/09
  
  timethief
  
  Are you sure that you aren't a Cartographer busily working on maps in your hermitage in the woods?
7/29/09

ladylyf

The bitchy evil arrogant mistress of the evil feudal lord

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  
  Cool - welcome Arrogant Mistress of the Evil Feudal Lord. If you require a consultation with a herbalist do look me up.
7/29/09

crpitt

The reader of innards

Also in charge of dungeons.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Will you watch my dungeons?
2. 7/30/09
  
  crpitt
  
  Only if you are in it.
3. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Kinky
4. 7/30/09
  
  crpitt
  
  Depends
5. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  It is.
6. 7/30/09
  
  crpitt
  
  It depends on whether I want your innards or want you in something.
7. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Oh? I don't know if I would like the first one very much.
7/29/09

ThriftShopRomantic

I think I'd enjoy being a bard. And write satirical productions that slip neatly and humorously under the radar of the royalty.

Huzzah!!

[reply]
1. 7/29/09
  
  crpitt
  
  To the stockades so I can lob some rotten cabbage at you.
2. 7/30/09
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  Hey, you bugger, the jailer doesn't always get off scott free, ya know. If there's a... oh, say... prison break, he's the first one to take the blame.
3. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  I want you to chronicle my tales.
4. 7/30/09
  
  crpitt
  
  /throws cabbage
5. 7/30/09
  
  ThriftShopRomantic
  
  "Ah, King Derek the Somewhat Overzealous, they doth call him..."
  
  Largely in that he is not, in fact, a king but doth work hard to convince the ladies of such, after much mead.
  
  @crpitt/ takes cabbage and uses for tasty dinner which cruel yet not-so-smart gaoler wishes she now doth had.
6. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Brilliant!
7/30/09

jonathan2rivers

"Knights" can be part of the list, right? I think I'll be a knight -- protecting the Holy Grail (which I sincerely doubt is a cup) and stuff like that. I love nature and I think I have a green thumb (no comments about a green mind) but I don't want to be a farmer under a feudal system.

[reply]
7/30/09

flamingpoodle

Bounty hunter and professional gambler.

[reply]
7/30/09

wagerwitch

Lady of the Manor/Bard/:the Good: Witch

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  SweetViolet
  
  Hey!! I called dibs on Lady of the Manor two days ago!!
  
  Unless we have more than one manor...in which case...
  
  I'm a cooperative type rather than competitive...shall we get our manors together and help each other out? What are your strengths (so I can draw on them) and what are your weaknesses (so I know what assistance to offer)?
2. 7/30/09
  
  wagerwitch
  
  We can have multiple Manors - LMAO - I mean - look at all those lands... SOMEONE has to tell everyone what to do.
  
  I'm a GREAT armchair tactician.
  
  LOL!
3. 7/30/09
  
  SweetViolet
  
  OK...we can form an alliance...
  
  Have you noticed that nobody has volunteered for dungeon keeper or headsman?? What's up with that??
4. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Carpitt has claimed dungeon keeper
7/30/09

SoftwareGal

Since there is no computer yet at that time, maybe I would be the big G founder. Ha Ha Ha, dominating the world!

Here is my invention..

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  SweetViolet
  
  Heheheee! I love it!
2. 7/30/09
  
  SoftwareGal
  
  Hmm.. how about being their other 'God' option? Maybe I can introduce scientology.
7/30/09

nothingprofound

Philosopher Bum-but mostly a bum.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  Rory
  
  Alms for the poor!
  
  Unless you had leprosy, then it would be "Arms for the poor!"
7/30/09

PearlTrader

Pearl Trader !

[reply]
7/30/09

greencurmudgeon

Alchemist and warlock.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
2. 7/30/09
  
  greencurmudgeon
  
  @tt
  
  Certainly. Though my time will come to an end once I face a Balrog and tell him, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
3. 7/30/09
  
  greencurmudgeon
  
  Picture of the event:
4. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  
  I did apprehend what you were referring to.
7/30/09

exit2013

I'm going to say Hermit!

[reply]
7/30/09

Jeunelle

Madam for sure
I know how to squeeze money out of them men

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  blackwater
  
  Wont squeeze it out of me so easily.
2. 7/30/09
  
  Jeunelle
  
  Says who. I can work miracles baby
3. 7/30/09
  
  blackwater
  
  says me
  
  and youd have to pull a major miracle to squeeze money outta me hun
4. 7/30/09
  
  Jeunelle
  
  I said I will work a miracle and that's what I will do....now hush
  Trust me, I can make a blind man see
5. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  And if she doesnt you will be executed... Kings rule.
6. 7/30/09
  
  Jeunelle
  
  Lmao what he said
7/30/09

cindygeenotes

I will be an oversoul and make appearances in a green mist encouraging those of you who seek a path to enlightenment.

[reply]
7/30/09

mykesgst

I would most certainly be a Warlock so I can change everybody that annoys me into funny mythical creatures or rocks!

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  I actually have some clients for you.
7/30/09

melindaville

I believe I shall be the high priestess.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  High priestess of the Dia religion I hope.
2. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  I'm going to be the Pagan High Priestess the church of sex and rock and roll. I used to be the HP of the church of sex, DRUGS, and Rock and Roll but I had to give the drugs up. They kicked my butt.
3. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Thats unfortunate. I hope you dont have an 'accident'
4. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  What kind of 'accident' db? And nah--it's not unfortunate. I kicked their butt right back.
5. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Venomness snake in the bed... Poisoned drink. Ran over by a horse. Im not a prophet. I just know non followers of the king may have a hard time.
6. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Are you the king of the Dia religion, DB? If so, I choose to follow you as there is strength in numbers. Besides, I like your style! And besides, Epi loves you and I love Epi.
  
  However, it if it is some pseudo King, I will rebel and prosper!
7. 7/30/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  Epi loves DB? I think that will come as a surprise to her!
  
  Hahahahaha!
8. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  I am king of these lands yes. And Epi shall be queen.
9. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Well, if Epi is queen, then I bow down to both of you. Epi is perfect for queen of the kingdom--and thus, you are perfect for king.
  
  Now, please call off the poisonous snakes!
10. 7/30/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  Epi says she loves you back and would be pleased to be your queen.
11. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  When does Epi get unbanned? I miss her! We could use her in here.
12. 7/30/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  Tomorrow, Epi will be back. I think.
13. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Thank the Goddess. This place is not the same without her.
14. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  I guess you can live... Your first act is to convert the non believer Stillthinking.
15. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Still, I have to convert you. Unless you want me to die from poisonous snake bites (shhhh, don't say anything but we can overthrow db if he gets out of hand). Just say yes. For now, anyway!
16. 7/30/09
  
  cindygeenotes
  
  I shall visit and encourage you in my green mist. Watch for me...
17. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  @cindy--we shall perform spells together!
18. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Still is safe. She wasn't going around preaching other beliefs!
19. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Whew. She's my homie, ya know!
20. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  I'm a fair king.
21. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Thank Gawd. The last king was such an a-hole! We had to usurp his ass. Ya know? Idiot kings don't last long around here.
22. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  You are officially on my advisory counsel Melinda (aka HP Mindypoo :D)
23. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Uh-oh! I think you have been hanging around Claire a bit too much. right back atcha!
24. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  And you really want to meet us in person?
25. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  I know, I'm sick--but yes, I seriously do!
26. 7/30/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  Ahem....
27. 7/30/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  Enter the queen
28. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Epi!!! OUR QUEEN! I've missed you terribly.
29. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  Ahhh the queen has arrived! There shall be a festival to end all festivals in celebration!
30. 7/30/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  I hearby murder the king and renounce my throne in order to set up a people's republic. I will then work the land like everyone else.
31. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  ouch...
32. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Power to the People and all of that! But I am still High Priestess.
  
  Now, I have to run and mash up some toads and shrooms for some spells!
33. 7/30/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  That's what happens when you make a communist the queen....
34. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  We could have talked about this you know? Why did you have to murder me in front of all my minions
35. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  What are the lyrics to that Dylan/Sheryl Crow song? "Things should start to get interesting right about now."
36. 7/30/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  sorry...I get a bit carried away sometimes... *winks*
37. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  It's ok. I will forgive you. I know your intentions were good.
38. 7/30/09
  
  Stillthinking
  
  awe, a lover's quarrel
39. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  
  Ain't that sweet? Now let's get down to the serious planning -- mutiny, insurrection, revolution!
40. 7/30/09
  
  Epicharis
  
  Our relationship is a bit Henry II/Eleanor of Aquitaine...only without any of the sex.
41. 7/30/09
  
  melindaville
  
  Oh man, if Epi and DB ever did bring sex into it, I predict:
42. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  LOL!
43. 7/30/09
  
  cathy13
  
  yay she's back......*bow*
7/30/09

cookingasshole

nerd slayer

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  Deray28
  
  *runs away*...wait! will nerds become heretics again or the term will stay that way? *continue running*
7/30/09

stellak

I'd be a Falconer...sounds like a cool enough job.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  cathy13
  
  It just sounds cool too....Falconer!!!! Cool
7/30/09

Agit8r

This is a rather optimistic idea of the feudal dark age to come. let me point out some flaws with this reasoning (hope this doesn't ruin the fun... pro'bly will )

Farmer: All land will be corporately owned and exploited as the corporate board sees fit. The "farmer" profession will be in accordance to corporate protocol (see serf)

Midwife: The abundance of synthetic estrogens employed in the exploitation of of corporately owned land for agriculture will render the population of the earth that drinks natural sources of water to become sterile. The upper caste of society (the corporate board and their harems) will drink synthetically produced water, but will prefer cloning as it doesn't make the many wives get all saggy.

Hermit: Not possible. The corporation will enforce the duty of all to labor (except said bureacratic and harem classes)

Serf: The remainder of society... enjoy your life, all 24 years of it

Warlock: not happenin'

Herbalist: All plant life is exclusive property of the corporation, all rights reserved.

Horseshoer: All animal DNA is exclusive property of the corporation. Horses, genetically modified to have tougher hooves, will nonetheless be only run on finely groomed polo grounds for the upper caste's amusement.

Bard: A certain number of serfs may escape the wretched existance of drugery in order to perform minstrel shows for said elites. Good work if you have the talent.

Evil Feudal Lord: technically called "Corporate Board Member," this is the gig you want!

Tanner: All poachers of company owned animal properties will be executed by slow torture (heck it would have to something worse than everyday existance, or everybody would do it--see Metal Scavenger)

Metal Scavenger: Those who work in the steel foundaries will at night pick the bits of metal that have embedded in their skin while pouring, and they will make trinkets for gambling with them.

Mason: All mineral rights are owned by the corporation. The peicing together hunks of the various materials that the corporation produces is but one of the serf trades.

Camp Follower: The whole world will be one giant Work Camp for the collective (or corporate--they mean the same thing) good.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  dbowles1017
  
  You are a dead gnome.
2. 7/30/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  I will be programming the hygene/waste-disposal CNC system (making use of all relevant work experience )
3. 7/30/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  It's okay though! The Viking Ship is coming to liberate you all and take you (as slaves) to Socialist Scandinavian countries with extremely pretty women. You won't get to marry any of them, but hey, isn't looking at them and then them making cruel jokes about turning you in to a stew pleasure enoguh?
4. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  
  @Agit8r
  Hilarious (in a laugh until you cry way) synopsis above. Thumbs up!
5. 7/30/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  Thanks it would be more funny if it weren't tinged with truth
7/30/09

Deray28

Oh well, then I would be an important part of the corporation given my background in genetics/molecular biology. I would have the control over the microbes in the feud

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  lol
7/30/09

nothingprofound

Agit: Don't despair. There will be a Noble Savage somewhere.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  for those of us who are culturally illiterate what does that mean?
2. 7/30/09
  
  nothingprofound
  
  Huxley's Brave New World.
3. 7/30/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  There are a whole bunch of them singing opera and riding in on a dragonship!
7/30/09

Theresa111

Since so many terrible things happened against women during the Middle or Dark Ages, I will have to choose to be Merlin's Mother, so I will know how to spirit myself away to safety and to be able to work magic and help others.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  
  Welcome Merlin's Mama
2. 7/30/09
  
  Theresa111
  
  I simply made a decision he must have been born at some point in time so why not be a Magical Mama
7/30/09

ShittyTruth

Were there prostitutes in the dark ages?

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  They were called peasant wives.
2. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  
  @shittyytruth
  The oldest profession in the world is Oppressor. Oppressors were males in paternalistic societies who held the dubious distinction of owning people, who were chattels. Oppressors and the paternalistic societies they upheld, their human possessions or chattels, including women they kidnapped, or purchased, or were gifted with, female relatives, young boys, children of both sexes into prostitution and then they cleverly labeled prostitution as the oldest profession.
3. 7/30/09
  
  ShittyTruth
  
  I guess I meant more like prostitution by choice... Not as a slavery or forced kind of thing... but like, hey, I can make a lot of riches this way...
4. 7/30/09
  
  timethief
  
  That's right AKA Camp Follower. See way up at the top of the thread. If you think you are going to be working without a pimp (Knight) to protect you and scam the profits from you, then you need to take some martial arts lessons and back that up with some lessons from a Herbalist. Please drop in to my Cabin in the Woods and we'll arrange some protection for you.
5. 7/30/09
  
  Theresa111
  
  Ah ... did I hear the word magic?
6. 7/30/09
  
  ShittyTruth
  
  Well if I want to emerge as the dark ages first male prostitute, making women happy in exchange for fortunes, its going to take some very serious entrepreneurial skills, as well as some even more serious martial arts skills... many months of training ahead...
7. 7/31/09
  
  Agit8r
  
  The unfortunate thing about feudal (or quasi-feudal) society is that it runs in the exact manner of a pimp/prostitute relationship, with the vast bulk of "society" at the mercy of worthless pimps that they are obliged to call 'my lord' or 'sir'
7/30/09

millifan

In the coming dark ages there will a new consignment of feudalistic peoples but me personally I will work as an advocate to those suffering and those in turmoil wanting to cause suffering. An inbetweener.

[reply]
7/30/09

voodooKobra

Sword-wielding vigilante.

[reply]
1. 7/30/09
  
  Theresa111
  
  Be sure to wear your magical and protective armor!
2. 7/30/09
  
  ShittyTruth
  
  @Theresa111
  I love your enthusiasm for magic, very inspiring!
3. 7/30/09
  
  voodooKobra
  
  If I'm going to be like Slade from The Way, I have no need for magical armor.
  
  Disclaimer: Aionsluh does not count as magical.
7/30/09

b0ll0cks

I'll be either the wizard or the village idiot. Probably the village idiot. LOL.

[reply]
10/07/09

sorcerer

Evil Feudal Lord.
wow! whens it coming?

[reply]
10/25/09

Mike42lan

A tobacco farmer,sharecroping with a sickle,a sappper(climbing up a tree with a bucket and a cork screw and getting sap out of the tree).That is the new Dark Ages economy for the United States of America

[reply]
10/25/09

Mike42lan

I forgot to ask one thing.Will Americans be asked to do those jobs or will we import cheap labor in the new Dark Ages?LOL

[reply]
10/25/09

Agit8r

No doubt DBowles will be an inquisitor...

[reply]
10/25/09

wealthmass

hmnnn great....

[reply]
10/25/09

lordiwanttobewhole

I would make a perfect hermit! I would sit in my cave and when people are feeling down they would come in my cave and i would give them props!

[reply]
10/25/09

LolitaV

why the nun bien sur.

[reply]
10/25/09

HollytheHousewife

Cough,cough,ahhhhh gogo dancer hhhhhhhemmmmm cough cough blo's nose

[reply]
10/27/09

geekchick

I'd be a teacher and pass on all my skills to the rest of you. That includes making wine, mead, cider, etc.; cooking; making paper and ink (and pens); music; reading; fire management; science and much more.

And you'll be nice to me or you won't get anything to drink.

[reply]
10/27/09

Agit8r

heretic

[reply]
10/27/09

ckent27

Is town slut taken?

[reply]
10/27/09

jeremyjanson

We're still coming to get you! If you're really unlucky we'll take you to Greenland!

[reply]
10/27/09

brianomaracroft

I suspect I'll be your leader. Don't worry, I'm mostly nice.

[reply]
1. 10/28/09
  
  jeremyjanson
  
  You'll have to answer to this guy:
  
  The Viking King!
10/27/09

russianmodels

Firefighter

[reply]
1. 29 days ago
  
  Agit8r
  
  In the coming dark age, all firefighters will be employed by "fire insurance" corporations to put out the fires only of those who purchase their "insurance"
2. 29 days ago
  
  russianmodels
  
  Well its what I do now so I figured why learn a new skill set Besides, I don't have a problem if ACME Fire Insurance Conglomerate wants to hire me for 100k a year
  
  Although come to think of it, I may have to take a course on Starting Fires 101 and that is to service those who do not purchase our insurance. This way we can cover both sides of the market!
10/27/09

RoscoeAntHillz

=CAN I BE A PROSTITUTE?????

[reply]
29 days ago

Envoy

Wandering shaman from the mystical east.

[reply]