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What's so hard about getting along? Why do we keep screwing up?

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  1. MissSuzie
    It's so hard to get along with people when they keep p!ssing me off.
  2. dbowles1017
    Because God told me it was my land. And they are in the way!
    1. Floormodel
      well God told me to tell you he was kidding...this land is my land and I have a song to prove it..
    2. dbowles1017
      He just told me that he told you that because he didn't want you to get mad.
    3. Floormodel
      God told me you'd better stop fibbing or he'd be doing some smiting in your direction...
    4. dbowles1017
      He just send me a text. He said not to worry about it. He also said if your blasphemy continues you are going to have to live in New Jersey... And your eternal roommate is the Jager bomb guy.

      warning, foul language

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M
    5. Floormodel
      NJ.... nooooooo not that

      God just popped up on my IM told me to tell you that what he told you wasn't as true as what he told me and that jager bomb is going to be your best friend in the afterlife
    6. dbowles1017
      Oh really? He just sent me a message in the form of burnt toast. It said that he is just telling you what you want to hear. He said that he can't afford to lose another one to the dark side.
    7. Floormodel
      well I just opened a bag of chips and found his likeness with a warning to not believe you because you talk to burnt toast and everyone knows God wouldn't burn toast.
    8. dbowles1017
      Wait... What kind of chips?
    9. Floormodel
      Wise, of course because God is all knowing
    10. dbowles1017
      crp- LOL! That's just funny.

      Floor- Sorry but everyone knows the chips of the God(s) are cheesy poofs. You have been led astray.
    11. crpitt
      I love a good smiting

      Not that I have a God complex or anything like that.
    12. Floormodel
      d, are you calling God a poof????
    13. Floormodel
      Cr, smiting can be fun, unless you're standing in water or holding a metal rod.
    14. crpitt
      I avoid holding rods in water .... heh
    15. dbowles1017
      No, I'm saying the chip of choice to the god(s) are cheesy poofs. Have you ever had one? They are godly!

      crp- Only in water?
    16. Floormodel
      but Cr, the Bible says "thy rod and thy staff shall comfort me"



      db, I may or may not have partaken of a cheesy poof in my lifetime.
    17. crpitt
      No comment to either of those! lol
    18. Floormodel
      www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIr-N_iPR2Y


      look at me changing the subject with a Eric Cartman ditty.
    19. dbowles1017
      South Park is always a welcomed subject

      crp- It's ok, we know what you wanted to say.
    20. crpitt
      Obviously the smiting wasn't effective.
    21. dbowles1017
      Me and God have an arrangement. I take all the evil souls, and he doesn't smite me.
    22. dbowles1017
      That was a low blow. How could you wish that upon any one is beyond me :(
    23. crpitt
      I just channelled it.
      Devil makes work for idle thumbs and all that
  3. ArsenicCookies
    communication failure
    1. timethief
        Sometimes that's true, but other times the communication has not failed. Whoever did the broadcasting was clear, and whoever did the receiving simply did not like what they heard.

        P.S. I ♥ your avatar choice today
  4. celticmusicfan
    personally , i think it is about ego. we want to make ourselves better than others. we want to do something 'extraordinary' to tell the world 'hey look at me , i am here, i am impressive'. in turn we say things that are mean.
    1. ThriftShopRomantic
      It's true. Mean does tend to get glorified for its shock value, and the apparent attraction of tearing something/someone else down.

      Destroyers get a lot more attention than builders.
    2. AchEmpire
      celticmusicfan- You said:

      personally , i think it is about ego. we want to make ourselves better than others. we want to do something 'extraordinary' to tell the world 'hey look at me , i am here, i am impressive'. in turn we say things that are mean.

      I agree, it's about ego
  5. melindaville
    Power, greed, and control. A deadly combination.
  6. crpitt
    What's the biggest obstacle to people getting along?

    People
  7. timethief
    Egocentricity

    Our attachment (craving desire within) to witness or to be a part of specific outcomes, as well, as our aversion to other outcomes is the cause of unhappiness.

    When our thoughts words and actions seek to control other people and orchestrate events and or situations in such a manner as to achieve the outcome that we are attached to, and those we seek to manipulate say "no way - no how" the conflict arises.

    When there is a sequence to our thoughts, they have as their object either something pleasant or something unpleasant. If the object of our thought sequence is pleasant we begin reacting to the thoughts with liking that grows into craving, a clinging, an attachment. If it is unpleasant, we begin reacting with dislike, which develops into a rejection, a hatred, an aversion.
    1. celticmusicfan
      My friend who is a Hari Krishna talks to me about egocentricity. Sometimes even the act of helping others might not even be selflessness but it could be ego as well. Which reminds me that what I am doing might be EGO as well but I can't help but post
  8. amybyrd21
    I think it is how we are taught. They teache us to be better than others and that other peoplewho do not fit in to that mold that we need to give them a hard time.
  9. Floormodel
    my serious answer is ego. we each want to be right and it escalates from there.
    1. timethief
        Agreed. Our clinging to ego-driven attachments and aversions leads to conflict when we come into contact with others who do not cling to the same attachments and aversions.
    2. Floormodel
      I just really like to win
    3. MN
      Ego, exactly. And also the we way and values with which we grew up. It is impossible to understand and be accomodating of every other person.
    4. timethief
        I just really like to win

        We all do. The primary ego imperatives are the drive to survive and thrive (linked to competitiveness, one-upmanship, power and control), and the desire to reproduce (linked to creativity, recognition for accomplishments and fame).
    5. harveyavatar
      Transcendental subjectivity.
      1. wagerwitch
        This too shall pass...
    6. celticmusicfan
      wow it looks like ego has the most vote.
      1. dbowles1017
        Mine has more responses, thus it wins.
    7. greencurmudgeon
      Because people don't even get along with themselves, let alone others a lot of the time.
    8. aningeniousname
      I think the obstacle is usually more psychological than any actual major failure of equipment so I wou...lllldddd..............oh ALONG.......not A LONG...
      1. greencurmudgeon
        You need to find a lady aardvark, settle down, have some little aardvarks...at the very least to distract you.
      2. aningeniousname
        That's a lot harder than you might think as I am currently the last remaining specimen of "Aadvarkius lavendinium naughtiana"
        Come to think of it, it was an amazingly callous thing to say to a star of countless "Save the naughty lavender Aardvark of old Yorkshire" telethons.
        Is there any wonder I am endangered with attitudes like yours present, you'll be having a go at the Polar bears next and mocking the Dodo for its unfortunate demise.
      3. greencurmudgeon
        Of course, there is no analysis on your part as to why your species is on the edge of extinction....
      4. aningeniousname
        It has mostly been brought about by the global trade in Aardvark anal glands which are coveted by global spice merchants. It is a strange quirk of fate that when powdered the Aardvarks anal gland takes on the exact taste and smell of paprika. So the fact that it takes the anal glands of over seven and a half Aardvarks to make just one mg of paprika allied to difficulty in achieving viable rigidity have all been definite contributory factors in the sad demise of the Urban Aardvark. And not the fact we can only mate on motorways due to our love of public mating (That's why we are stilled banned by the United nations from being Zoo exhibits.)
      5. greencurmudgeon
        @anin

        Or we could go for the straightforward explanation that a sex-mad incontinent creature is just asking to be terminated.
    9. jeremyjanson
      Pride and fear mostly. People come with baggage.
      1. timethief
          Pride (attachment) and fear of humiliation, rejection or abandonment (aversion) are manifestations of ego. Pride (an attachment to the desire to win at all costs, and to be admired for being seen as "a winner") are manifestations of an ego driven power and control fixation (attachment).
      2. jeremyjanson
        But fear of humilliation et cetera is not the only fear involved. In particular, the fear of sexual awkwardness, the fear of difference, and the fear of loneliness (which is attached to the human social instinct) are all every bit as prevalent as the fears you mentioned.
    10. nothingprofound
      I think the major obstacle is dissatisfaction with ourselves, with our lot in life. We hate others and want to destroy them because we're unhappy ourselves.
      1. jeremyjanson
        That's certainly one of them. Fear can play a hand in it too though, and fear strikes everyone. Even Christ was afraid to die, though he knew he would be ressurected and his suffering was near complete. Fear isn't rational, it's instinctive caution and lesser-status gone haywire.

        Also, Pride can certainly be connected to what you suggest, and can also be connected to antipathy towards others, which can in turn come from either a lack of love of oneself or shallowness and a lack of character by inexperience.
      2. GenuineWoman
        I agree with this cause others are just the reflection of our inner side.
    11. IntoTheAzureSea
      The trick to this dilemma is to be emotionally detached and bear a decent sense of empathy, with a keen interest in people. A demanding balancing act.
      1. jeremyjanson
        Absolutely ITAS, although I don't really think it's a balancing act so much as a love for others and yourself both, combined with the courage to see past your momentary fears and desires.
    12. jyotishman
      Bad Day! Apparently, Sometimes It Happens To Get Only A Lot Of Bad Days. A Series Of Bad Days.

      Well, Shall Pass...
    13. boytrotters
      If we all just sat down and played with Lego together, then I'm sure we'd get along fine.
      1. Floormodel
        I agree, the key to world peace is Legos!
      2. boytrotters
        Lego, lego, my kingdom for some lego! Oh, hang on... I can just build one... that way I can have the kingdom AND the lego. And lots of friends!
    14. jkkh68
      It is difficult to get along with people who are proud.
    15. FredSr2009
      To get along sometime you have go along or maybe even give up a right for a wrong to keep the peace. But, of course sometimes you may have to do what you have to do.
    16. jkkh68
      It is also hard to get along with people who are too particular,too petty and too dominant.
    17. Jeunelle
      I get along just fine, there are plenty of trees in Boston
    18. stellak
      people tend to be self centered a-holes
    19. cookingasshole
      pure narcissism
      1. Rainhat
        I agree. The most confrontational people I've met were the ones who insisted that they were always right about everything, and that there was only one correct opinion about stuff. Needless to say, they were always surrounded by people arguing with them.

        The easiest people to get along with that I've met were the more zen ones who had ideas about stuff but didn't have the need to prove anything. "I think X seems reasonable. Of course, I might be wrong."
      2. harveyavatar
        Good point. It is indeed curious to see that those who are truly convinced do not cease to doubt, whereas those who do not have a conviction are generally the most adamant in their opinions. This was basically the topic of the following blogpost: beingandquirckiness.blogspot.com/2009/04/conviction-vs-intolerance.html
    20. exit2013
      It's pure yin-yang conflict. People want to be treated as individuals but they keep sticking to group indentity politics!

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