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What's The Worst Thing That You've Ever Done AT WORK?
Posted by Agit8r • 3/16/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: dishonesty, mayhem, microwave, work
One time when working as a janitor, I put my lunch in the microwave, and went to use the restroom. When I came back minutes later the whole conference room (where I was microwaving) was filled with black smoke. Appearently I set it for too many minutes of cook-time. I then covered the incident up as best I could by buying some Car Fabreeze from the auto part store across the street. When I was finally done ventilating and spraying fabreeze, and cleaning the microwave it smelled like someone smoked in there and sprayed air freshener.
Nobody ever asked me about it.
Anyone beat that?
User Comments
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Uh...yeah I can definitely beat that
. But I plead the fifth 
Speaking of funny things catching on fire at work stories - my dumbass boss (a long time ago) shorted out the oven, right? Well, it was an electrical fire, that started to spread to the grease (at the bottom where we couldn't reach it to clean it) and he freaks out, starts running around like headless chicken (he was even flapping his arms!) , grabs a bucket of WATER and splashes it onto the electrical grease fire.
Then, like an idiot, decides to open the oven door - to "check to see if the fire was put out (I told him not to!) and a BALL of flames came shooting out at his face.
Buwahahahahahaha
What a maroon!-
like one of those "Darwin Awards" stories.
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You have no idea...it wasn't funny at the time, because I thought the whole place was going to go up for a minute - but damn, was it ever funny afterward.
He's never lived that down
I don't know why I was the only person there who knew you put flour on a grease fire - but I was.
and it was a good thing, too! -
nothing like a little safety training
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Wow, not so bright.
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Painted a work mates car windows with egg white, put grease on his door handles and poured flour into his air vents for when he turned onhis air con.-
Hahahahahaha
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I haven't done too many bad things myself at work, but your popcorn story reminded me of something. Once the fire alarm went off in my dorm building. As I was making my way down the stairs along with everyone else, I had to hold my breath and I could barely see for all the smoke. I thought the building was actually on fire instead of the usual fire alarm caused by overcooked popcorn. Turns out, a girl was trying to dry her hair weave in the microwave, and that's what caused it all.-
bet that smelled good
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This wasn't at work, but when I was in college we had a running gag with a giant dildo that had a suction cup on the bottom.
That thing would pop up everywhere - lockers, classrooms, seats, professor's cars...
We were all in on it, too -
"in on it" eh. jk
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I clean dorms at a university, so i see crazy stuff like that fairly often.
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If that thing would have popped up around my locker, you'd never have seen it again. *grin* -
Ooohweee!
Hopefully you know how to sanitize things...
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I had a bit of a mishap when I was working as a shop assistant...I accidentally lent against a wobbly shelf...which came loose and tipped everything on it off...onto another shelf....which knocked things over which rolled onto other shelves...and lets just say I spent 4 hours putting it all back...
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mishaps are another story. My dumbest was when I would inspect janitor closets for safety violations. One time while I was doing an inspection i bashed my head on a shelf. I didn't turn that one in. What a laugh riot it would have been at the next safety committee meeting.
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hahaha!
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Oh, right. wrong place
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I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.-
not part of your job description?
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It's an awesome song from an awesome movie -
heard the song. There's a movie?
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"Walk the Line" with rapper Joaquin Phoenix
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Oh, right
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Joaquin Phoenix raps?
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Where have you been isonomist?!
news.google.co.uk/news?hl=en&q=joaquin%20phoenix%20rap&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&t... -
here on the blogosphere, spreading my conspiracy theories
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I used to work in Boston Market, before my ferocious climb up the corporate ladder - I was slicing some ham with the wrong knife (They had a special one for ham, but I was too cool for rules) and I slipped.
The blood squirted madly all over the ham, counter, floors - there was even some on the walls. Fingers bleed really bad but this was abnormally squirting as if my heart was pumping blood out of my hand. Long story short I kept the finger, which is fortunate since I'm programmer. Theres a nasty scar that goes halfway around it, comes with a cool story I guess.
So yeah, the worst thing I've ever done at work was serve that ham!
jk
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just tell 'em its rare. lol... oh yeah thats just steak
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My bro' in law worked a a restaurant. He cut himself w/ a PLASTIC salad knife. lol
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whatever hppened to Boston Market anyway... oh yeah, got shut down for serving bloody ham. lol
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LoL exactly.
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Not the worst but perhaps one of the most embarrassing. On a trip to France was staying with a bonny French lass in Bordeaux.
On a trip to the beach with said young Lady (can't remember the name of it but Europes largest sand dune is there) polybore was having a swell time smoking Gitannes, drinking beer, eating baguette and generally having a swell time.
Being litter concious and not wanting to spoil the beach polybore was using an old cigarette packet, as an ashtray, until a bin became handy.
On the way back Polybore distinctly remembers looking around for the bonfire Polybore could smell. "Someone is having a bondfire round here or a BBQ" said Polybore.
Turn, turn, where is that fire?
Well , on Polybore's back the trusty old canvas rucksack was well and truly ablaze.
In a similar vane polybore used to have an old jeep, was always driving round in it, smoking, window down and arm resting on the sill. On one occasion there was a sharp pain in the chest, thought heart attack, then saw the smoke. A cigarette polybore had flung out the window and blown back in landing into the open breast pocket of the lumberjack shirt he wore.
It is true what they say. Cigarettes are very bad for you.-
tru dat
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semi-related (and yes another ghetto janitor story) I once had a backpack vacuum short out and catch fire (mind you only a little bit around the cord) while I was wearing it. Never took that thing off so d@mn fast!
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I put a knife to a couple of guys' throats while working. Not at the same time. I mean there were two seperate occasions where i had to put a knife to someone's throat.
And this isn't exactly work related, but heck, it's kinda funny...
I was looking for someone who had done something very wrong. I got a first name and a description. I find a picture. A victim says that's him. I see he lives across the country. I contact him and tell him what's going to happen. I then email... no joke... about 100 of his friends and co-workers to tell them all what he had done and why they should cut ties to him.
He says he's going to call the cops. I say, "No, you won't. Because then what you're being accused of will become public". He doesn't. The best part...
Turns out he was the wrong guy. Hahaha!! The victim texts me and says, "Sorry. He does fit the description and name. But it's not him". Whoops. I apologized. Oddly enough, he went on to help me by giving me some important info.-
wow, heckuva guy
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so u catch the real guy?
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One time when working in a local cafe I killed and dismembered 48 people and then served them to other customers, oops!-
lol. tastes like chicken
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I missed the at work part...I don't have anything bad at work. Just at home.
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Yes, but a bit more salty.
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As I haven't done anything that bad, I have to tell you about a boss of mine who was a bit of a prankster. In the building our office was, there was several small IT companies. We got a delivery one day, with those potato chip-looking packaging material in them, so my boss went out to buy a dip, poured the fake chips into a bowl and marched into our joined kitchen with it, offering the others some new "diet chips". There was one (fairly large) guy who thought they were quite nice and ate the whole bowl and once my boss saw that he went: "want some more? We've got heaps." and led him down to the box they came in. The poor fella ran straight into the bathroom to have a good purge like a real bulimic chick.
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probly better than some 'diet' chips. yick
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The worst thing I ever did was to get baptized.
It resulted in my being funneled into an unaccredited missionary school.
My entering the missionary school meant I left the university.
The teachers at the missionary school taught that the Bible is not for us today, leaving me to wonder what all the fuss was about.
At the missionary school I was paired up with a woman who would become my wife, but only to use me as a jail break to get out from under her Indiana family's thumb.
The marriage lasted for 21 years and grew worse and worse.
My wife laid around day after day while I did rotating shiftwork to survive. When I came home and asked what everyone would like for supper, she would listlessly say, "O...there's sauce in the refrigerator."
My wife didn't give the daughter sex education. Neither did the church school or the church. So I answered questions using a college anatomy book. The result? All kinds of accusations of sexual immorality by the church and de-facto censure!
The wife was eventually estranged by the local minister.
I ended up divorced, without a degree, and homeless.-
OMG.
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I once set water on fire...
No, but seriously, I once walked away from a friend who badly needed me, I ignored my gut instincts, and whatever I tell myself, the guilt of that instant will never entirely fade -
Back in the days when I was a mechanic, there was one guy who worked in the yard who we didn't like. I don't remember why, but we didn't like him. He drove one of those old tiny Honda Civics from the 70s. One day four of us decided to pick his car up and put it in a storage garage sideways. It just barely fit. When he saw what we had done later that day, he started crying.
I was a bit of an ass in my younger days.-
haha, quality, the best thing is you dont even know why you didnt like him haha..... i locked an army cadete in the lift at 5pm once when everyone was going home. i ripped the alarm wires out and left him, you could just see his feet and the tears rolling down his face in the gap in between floors haha.
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i just remembered another terrible thing I did at work. When I was a janitorial supervisor, I got run around a lot. Now the office/warehouse that it operated out of had cats living in it (cause the owner of the company was some cat nut). Anyway, one of the cats liked to sleep underneath the work car tires, so that you had to pull the tarded little thing out before driving away. One day I noticed the cat but was carrying an armload of stuff. As I was putting the stuff in the trunk, I got a cell call about some big cleaning emergency (daily occurance). By the time I got off the phone, I had fogotten all about the cat...
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More ornery than bad---
But I kidnapped all of the glass cats figurines one of my coworkers had on her desk. (She had about 10-15 of 'em)
And I left them around the office for her over the next couple of days with ransom-styled notes giving clues to where she'd find the rest...
I had a male friend put two for me in the men's room.
It was a hysterically funny couple of days! (Well, at least for ME, not so much for her.)-
Hahahahahahahahahaha
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That's hilarious!
We did a similar thing at school once...there was one boarding house that won everything...they had all the trophies...so our house stole them all and left a ransom note for them...they had to give us all their house biscuits that week if they wanted them back!
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My boss used to pick on the younest worker everyday to make himself look big, i mean really embarass you.
he used to go for a sneaky cigarette in the toilets at break time and he always made me work through it. i was only 16 then. i noticed he left his cup of tea outside on a shelf while he went in. i used to spit in it every day and stir it up.
a bit of wee got in there every now and again too.-
Good one!
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When I was a kid (and mind you--I was one rebellious, hard nosed kid), my mother went away for the weekend, leaving me with the house. Of course, she told me not to party but as soon as she left, I called all my friends and threw a HUGE party!
Well, during the party, someone dropped his/her cigarette and burned a big old hole in my mom's *brand new* (like less than a month old) very expensive carpet.
So, what did I do?
First, I put bubble gum on the burn mark. Then, as soon as my mom came home, I said, "Oh look! Someone dropped gum on the carpet--I'll get it out with the carpet cleaner).
Then, I took some carpet clearner and poured it on the bubble gum/burn mark and started screaming, "OH MY GOD!!! The carpet cleaner is eating the carpet!!!"
To make a long shorter a little shorter, my mom got the carpet cleaning company to pay for the burned rug! She was so outraged and thought it really was that, which had created the burn!
I told her this after I went into recovery. She laughed at that point (but by then, I had a WHOLE bunch of new things that were far more serious!).
Good thing I am totally rehabilitated today! -
I worked as a contractor in holland and i had to make sandwiches on the sunday night for work the day after for our driver.
I made the best sandwich ever and sprinkled a lot of the finest dutch weed/cannabis into the tasty sandwich.
10am the day after the unlucky one who never smokes weed ate two of them and felt really weird afterwards.
By noon he ate the other two sandwiches because of munchies and to straighten himself up.
by 1pm he was absolutly wasted and couldnt barely talk or walk.
we found him laid half in and half out of his car in the car park in the blazing sun and the bosses at the company didnt know what happened and didnt know what to do with him.
it was so funny, he was okay by 6pm to take us home, and i never told him until a few weeks later, he lost his afternoon pay aswell. -
We rearranged our bosses stuffed animal collection to make it appear they were being very naughty.
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how else would you get baby stuffed animals?
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I dressed as a hooker (complete with wig) in the Doctors surgery where I worked and fooled the doctor who was on reception at the time. I forget the nature of our 'chat' but he went very red and was hysterical when he realised it was me.
I also hung a large robotic spider from a door frame and spooked him out with that, few other pranks but can't recall them all now.
Oh one more.
I persuaded a member of my admin staff to photocopy her large ample beasts and deliver them to the podiatrist whom she fancied.
and
Leg wrestled a doc I worked for while he was dressed in fairy wings at local pub -
I shot the sheriff. But I swear it was in self defense.-
lol.
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Arise my thread arise!
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I once dipped a colleague's coffee mug in the toilet, after hours.
I still do not feel sorry about doing it...-
excellent *rubs hands together maniacally*
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eww...
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He had it coming. He knows why...
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toilet bowls actually have less bacteria than most dishrags. Sorry if that ruins your fond memory GT
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It was a well used, well soiled toilet, so I have no doubts what he drank the next day...
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yummy
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remind me never to piss off a co-worker...
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or an Innkeeper! 0_o
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quite...remind me never to book a holiday in Colorado...
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Basil here, ruined it for all the rest
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They don't let me anywhere near the glasses at the hotel, so you'll be fine, Siuil.
No, innkeepers have other methods of revenge... -
hahahahaha
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"yogurt" on the comforter?
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eww...(again)
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Double ewwww!
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ootay arfay?
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I think so...you can't go from Fawlty Towers to 'yoghurt' that quickly...
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Uh oh. When Agit8r breaks out the Pig Latin, we're all in serious trouble!
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The sign on Fawlty Towers always got changed around. The last combination was "Flowery Twats"... lol
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this is something that baffles me...
in america is 'twat' always pronounced 'twot'? because that's just wrong... -
how is it pronounced there?
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twat...rhyming with cat
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good to know. I once tried to convince someone that Trans World Airlines had once been called Trans World Air Travel... but that they had to change it for a cleaner abreviation
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When I was young, I was drinking with some friends in the summer time. I should also mention that whilst drinking I like to fiddle with stuff, this night it was a BBQ lighter.
This was also the night my former bf's bff decided to hit on me repeatedly, as said bf was not in attendance. So once again he sat down, in his cool bermuda shorts, showing off his hairy legs and again started making passes, so I flicked that BBQ lighter I had been playing with and lit all the hair on his one leg on fire.
*No burns or anything, just one extremely hairless leg lmao!-
Ha ha ha ha! Nice story. That's one way to do it.
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sounds like a hairy situation
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I electrocuted my former coworker. At the time, I was working as a visual merchandiser for a very high end home furnishings store. We were having an annual lighting sale which required these platforms covered in lamps, all plugged in and lit.
Well, I was working on this platform and asked my coworker to plug a lamp in. The outlet shorted and she got zapped. Bad enough that she had to go to the ER for treatment.
I felt really guilty. We're good friends, and she has never let me live it down.-
yikes!
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Shocking!
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You're a horrible person, ST. You ought to be ashamed of yourself!
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Pretty bad, huh. I bet no one else has electrocuted someone by accident.
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well... on purpose would be worse
You might want to tell MissSuzie how to do it
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I know this doesn't qualify as evil... But it haunts me to this day.
I was about 3 or 4 years old...
And I DISTINCTLY remember doing this.
Another kid was building a sand castle at the beach....
And I remember looking at it and being MAD that I couldn't build it and they wouldn't let me help.
So from a squatting position, I put my hands in the sand underneath me and started a sand storm by throwing sand at the other kid and destroyed their castle --- getting it into their eyes and the other kids crying.
I don't remember anything else --- like what happened...
But to this day - I remember making someone cry and hurting them - ON PURPOSE - and it wasn't a good feeling.
WW -
I know this doesn't qualify as evil... But it haunts me to this day.
I was about 3 or 4 years old...
And I DISTINCTLY remember doing this.
Another kid was building a sand castle at the beach....
And I remember looking at it and being MAD that I couldn't build it and they wouldn't let me help.
So from a squatting position, I put my hands in the sand underneath me and started a sand storm by throwing sand at the other kid and destroyed their castle --- getting it into their eyes and the other kids crying.
I don't remember anything else --- like what happened...
But to this day - I remember making someone cry and hurting them - ON PURPOSE - and it wasn't a good feeling.
WW -
Show up! -
I'd fix that double post, but I can't... Sorry.
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