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Why are people on the internet so mean to one another?
Posted by joeysikes • 1/11/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: being mean on the internet, mean, negativity
Why do people insist on being so negative on the internet? It's as if people take time out of their day to be mean to another person that they don't know. Have any theories?
User Comments
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My theory is that you don't get out much.
There's plenty of mean people OFF the internet too.-
You'd be very wrong to assume such things. I have plenty of friends and get out often. I work, go to school, rock climb, skydive and travel often. I realize there are always going to be mean people, but it seems people online are just asses. To be honest, your comment was very condescending.
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Hooahh!!!
Agree w/ Joey -
There are three type of mean people on the internet:
1) The younger generation - born after 1994
>> they've lived all their lives on the computer, with MTV, internet, windows, cable TV, reality TV, etc .. and just don't know any better. Their fingers type faster then they can think. Because they are typing, they never really learn and aren't really as mean as they sound.
2) The old generation - born before 1963
>> They've lived before they assassinated a president and never grew up with computers, but if they are on one now - they aren't really good typists. As such, when they start to type a response, (in about half the cases) other people have not only moved on to a different discussion but have gone away! As such, they finger-type in as short as many characters as possible and sound more rude than mean from their short comments.
3) The middle generation - in between years
>> these are the people that were around before computers, and made computers what they are today and communication and TV and reality TV and everything. These people actually know who Jenny Jones, Phil Donahue, Johnny Carson, Merv Griffin, etc. This age group not only imagines they are famous or wish they were famous, but have practiced every night going to bed "answering" questions from imaginary reporters, newspaper columnists and generally just coming up with answers to daily conversations hours after-the-fact .. just because.
In other words - although there are some mean people out there - most of the time it doesn't start out mean - it just ends up mean by the way others interact with these people.
i.m.o.
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try my -
Easy, there is no accountability-
Agreed
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It's easier to be mean on the Internet because it's all anonymous.
I still can't do it. I still have to face myself in the mirror.-
I think maybe it is that people can be anonymous online. So they try to act like something they are not or try to make themselves feel important.
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and no one can kick their heads in......-
lol, I like this concept. j/k
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I think good people are less in numbers now. -
I guess it depends on where you go on the internet, I have met and made some great friends on the internet. There are some blogs where things said are questionable and the cry if it's pointed out is "Free Speech" Which is fine if that is what they want to do. I just don't go back. -
IMO there are just as many attention seeking trolls, bullies, passive aggressive manipulators, ego inflated b*tches, and inept communicators online as there are off line. In cyberspace on forums like these we are swimming in a small fishbowl. We are faced daily with those who are still expressing themselves like adolescent attention seeking wh*res, simply because they are too dull witted and immature to conduct themselves in a civilized manner. Some even masquerade as bloggers but a quick check of their blogs makes it clear who the great pretenders calling others "punks" are and because the fishbowl is small they tend to be more obvious.
In contrast, the majority off people I meet online are honest and decent people who do blog well, and who do communicate in a civilized manner on forums like here on BC and elsewhere. I'm happy to say that have made some wonderful friends online and I'm sure that most other BC members can say the same too. The majority are good stuff - the minority are low life. So don't let the ones calling everyone else "punks" so they can pump up their own egos get you down - choose to ignore them, rather than feeding their swollen heads.-
Yup. -
I actually think everyone on here is very nice. I guess some websites such as digg and the like are filled with people trying to fill their egos as you have said.
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Because the internet is anonymous and gives people inclined that way to be mean.Before the internet it was harassing phone calls, nasty anonymous letters, spiteful gossip.-
@jafabrit
I agree with the points being raised about anonymity by yourself and others further up in the comments. However, I don't think it's a stretch of the imagination to think that some of the bad actors online are capable of making harassing phonecalls, sending nasty anonymous letters, starting rumors, while spitefully gossiping offline too. -
sure, I guess my point is that the internet didn't create it, it already existed but the internet just provided a new means (since it is harder now with caller id to get away with nasty calls).
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@jafabrit
sure, I guess my point is that the internet didn't create it, it already existed but the internet just provided a new means (since it is harder now with caller id to get away with nasty calls).
Exactly. I agree 100% with your point. What I witness is that not all community members can be relied upon to make reports to Admin when a pattern of negative behavior has been established. This is especially true when the member being targeted by a attention seeking troll = bully, passive aggressive manipulator, ego inflated b*tch, etc. is someone else and not them. Also there are the petty little sideline snipers, who are inclined to join the troll by delivering lame cheap shots before they crawl back into the woodwork after feeding the troll.
Human nature that makes us want to avoid being seen as snitches and self protective behavior inclines us to back away from negative behavior when we witness it. This phenomena, as well as, the nature of “detachment” created by online communication can lead us to become voyeurs rather than becoming active participators in creating a healthy online community environment by reporting the trolls, and the petty little sideline snipers, whether or not their behavior is being directed towards ourselves or towards another community member.
Trolls are nothing without attention - they are like balloons puffed up with their own hot air. Ignore them and eventually they go flat like any balloon does.
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According to Professor Mark Griffiths of Nottingham Trent University its because its a 'dis-inhibiting environment' - i.e. there are no face to face social consequences for bad behaviour. Mind you I think the claim that people are mean is exargerated ,most folks I've chatted to seem good people to me.-
That is my main theory as well. But as others have said, I'm begining to think those people have always been around. The internet is just a new medium to be negative towards others.
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Recently, I had a negative experience on the internet, right here at BC. It was not planned, or something I set out to get involved in. I never wanted attention from the experience, but it ended up panning out that way because I decided to stick up for myself.
Basically, this person and I both offended each other. I can't speak for the other person, but I know at the time it left me with suspended animosity. It became clear the only way to release that energy was to apologise (for offending the person, not for standing up for myself). So I did. And I no longer carry that suspended animosity. I hope that they don't either because we all have better things to do. -
@ TT:
I totally agree with TT. Some people like to stoop down on a two year old level and call people: WHORES,BITCHES,STUPID,DUMB,DILUTED,PUNKS,and IT
who doesn't know how to write a blog (yet it still got accepted).
I also agree with TT on the point of if you can't figure out somthing logical to say you resort to immaturity and name calling to build up
your own degree having ego.
Those are the type of people that like to hide behind their keyboards and monitors and are too scared to go make friends.
Those are the type of people that are sooo much above everyone one else in
the real world.
Those are the type of people who instead of enjoying life to it's fullest
they would rather continue their little comments on how the whole world
is so dumb. EXCEPT FOR THEM OF COARSE. -
There are so much better things to do. You up for some curtis lowe.
lol -
Haha, thanks for all of the comments! I wasn't trying to imply that all people on the internet are mean. I was just stating that it seemed like I encountered negative people more often on the internet. I just wanted to see what others thoughts were on the matter. Thanks again for the comments, you are all very nice people!
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I think it is easier to be exposed to negative people than in real life (depending on where one lives or works). I live in a generally very pleasant town so I don't face as many negative types, but boy when I was working in the casino in England as a croupier and in a local pub there was plenty.
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@jafabrit
The town I live in is full of easy going people. But I guess it could be said that when traveling through certain areas people were just rude. Idk if anyone else has noticed this, but there are so many negative comments about Americans in the comments section.
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@ Joey
Go read some of the thread IS POVERTY a CHOICE and you will see what I mean.
You can't leave a comment bc it has been locked,but,you will see where
my comment was coming from.
hollyb27.blogspot.com
I thought you may have read some of it already and then decided to post this thread.
Your timing is right on the money! (it's just weird)lol-
I went to your blog, but was unable to find an area to see all of your posts. In paticular the "Is Pverty A Choice" post. I'm a little embarred to admit, but I didn't know what you mean by Curtis Lowe. Lol, but I Googles it and it is a fine song! Just got it on iTunes.
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It seems folks use the internet to work out whatever control issues they have. Its their way of feeding their own egos at the expense of others. -
I think that the people who are so mean and self important online must be losers offline and so it is a way to build up fragile self esteem with out facing real confrontation.
That said, I think that some of the "meaness" is open to interpretation. Sometimes people have a genuine difference of opinion and want to express it just like everyone else, two clashing opinons can come off as mean spirited when offline it would be seen as a healthy debate.
There are bullies, but even bullying can be open to interpretation. To some a bully is someone who is always butting in and dominating discussion, to others there has to be out right name calling. I have learned not to judge bullying soley on forums, it's when it spills over onto other areas, that I determine it to be bullying and/or mean.-
It's a good point-- it's very hard to discern tone sometimes online. So it's very easy to misinterpret language as being harsh or bullying, when it was never meant that way.
It's one of the reasons it's so important to really read what you're saying and think how others might interpret/misinterpret it. -
Yes I agree as I tend to participate in quiet a few of these discussions, which is my right as a bc member and as I am participating in these discussions, and voicing my views, my participation is being seen by some as an "attention whore". I mean this very funny.
So what to do, what to do?
#1. Should I then stop participating all together because a few nuts see my participation as being attention seeking?
OR
#2. Just ignore these people and continue to participate in the bc discussions?
I think you know what answer I would choose. -
See I think that is silly, you're one of my favorite ones to read. When I said those who dominate, I meant the ones who correct every single person on every single thing and police call every discussion, reporting answers that they don't agree with just so it appears that they are right. You are A-0k in my book
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Yes I know exactly who you mean and she already showed up to drop her two cents in here.
However I won't bother to call anyone attention seeking either.
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Cyber bullying is hard to track. Remember the MySpace incident about a mother who harassed a young teenager. The teen committed suicide. If people think they can get away with it, they'll do it! -
I am sorry joey I meant that comment towards spiritual. It was an inside joke. I was wondering what u were laughing at but I didn't wanna be rude.
yea the ballad of curtis lowe is an awsome song. Everything that lynard Skynard did was awesome.
My blog is hollyb27.blogspot.com
I was telling you to look at the discussion on blog catalog "Is poverty a choice" There were some very ruethless comments made on that discussion
that is why the thread got locked.
I am sorry I confused you. At least ya got to hear a good song huh??-
Ohhh gotcha. I did get an excellent song out of it so all is well!
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If people said some of the things offline that they say online, people would beat the crap out of them -
But the real reason is because they are complete atheists with no chance of going to heaven and the others are Christians that can't think for themselves
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I actually did say in that other thread someone needs a good southern Ass kicking for the horendous things that were being said,but someone hit the report button and my comment was removed.
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why is it southern? can't the people from up north do it as well?
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I hit the button. The said thing was I said some hilarious things and should have copied them
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panda bear
here we go again.lol I am a christian and believe me I think for myself.
Ask anyone here at bc. They will tell you in a new york minute "the girl has a brain all of her own.-
I couldn't help it, notice I said something about the atheists as well. I'll add
Atheists are idiots, they have no sensitivity
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I don't know never saw anyone fight up north
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this is a cultural thing, it doesn't translate for me.
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u hit the button. huh???
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yes, I didn't like it at all
I just hit it on another thread. A guy was disrespectful about women. -
on the other thread yesterday
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lucky i'm not in charge of a button for a nuclear bomb,
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ur damn skippy on that one.(atheist+computer+college degree= a ranting raving idiot.
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cultural thing huh? you are starting to confuse the slow ms housewife
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I thought you were talking about hitting the button on the
crazy thread I started. Wich turned into the tread from HELL -
Anyway this is an excellent thread Joey.
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I use PUNKS for people who I consider to be friends of mine and in my close circle.
That is a fun nickname I use for my friends and they don't have a problem with it as they also have cute nicknames for me too. I also have a collection of PUNKS in my Digsby messaging center of friends who I message and communicate with online.
I also sell on Ebay under the name of iamyomamapunk and my customers are satisfied
and happy with the service I provide.
I am sure there are some who think it's alright to go around calling others egotistical, attention whores and _itches on a public forum and thinks it's ok to do so while appearing to be the Cat's Meow of the internet or even that social network.
I have stopped communicating with these types and blocked them from leaving their negative shouts in my Shoutbox of other BC members that they dislike or have a problem with. I am no longer a listening ear to these people. I am no longer here to communicate and befriend these types of manipulative people. Once you cut them out of your life, you life should run smooth.-
agreed
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It's impossible to be insulted, degraded, besmirched, put down, or ridiculed--unless you permit yourself to be insulted, degraded, besmirched, put down, or ridiculed.
So, what's all the fuss?-
Exactly...just cut them out of your life and move on.
And yes I make of friends too and sometimes I even add to my blog when I feel like it.
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yea there are plenty of people out there (not some) that get off on calling
people:whores,stupid,dumb,diluted,liars,it,bitches,your state needs to be blown up,and you need genital mutilation. What is so funny about these people is they all claim to have college degrees but act like they are in
pre school.
Just can't figure those type of people out. That's ok though they are the one's that have to face themselves. I actually feel soory for people on the innernet that tear people down so they can feel some how accomplished.
Those are the type of people that have no true friends and relationships
outside of the innernet.
Holla!
HollytheHousewife
hollyb27.blogspot.com-
genital mutilation...Yes I saw this one and didn't like it either so I reported it hoping to see the comment removed but can't remember what came of it.
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mr. Payne,
all of this fuss is over a thread I started(Is poverty a choice)
people came out and showed their TRUE COLORS
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