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Why are some people so mean?
Posted by earthlingorgeous • 4/21/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Are they happy being mean?
Or just craving attention?
Why are some people so rude?
User Comments
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for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction-
You're very wise Crkian, almost like a Yorkshire version of the great lord Bhudda. -
I have started to offer some teaching so who knows
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hmmm but how about those you just go and be mean to everyone without them doing anything to the offender?
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Sexual techniques and their application in the real world?
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lol sexual techniques? wow elaborate pls! hahaha
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as a hobby?-
maybe it's their hobby not so sure, that's why I asked pointlesbanter
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I think it's a form of projection. They don't like themselves.-
good point kinsey
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I can't think of a better answer, Kinsey!
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Because some people are so obtuse.-
hahaha... so stupidity is the reason for their meaness? hiding they are idiots haha ... good point too
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With some people I always think who would notice them otherwise, although some just enjoy it, and it a cry for attention, or they are very unhappy.-
yeah I think that's entirely it too they so unhappy about themselves
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it's just their nature or maybe the influence of the environment where they grew up-
great point ... you think it's something about illness too maybe? headache or something? that makes me irritable sometimes ... who would know right?
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or hormones
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Because they are not happy with themselves in some way or they are giving to you what they receive from their Boss on the job. :)|
sexualharassment-alltruth.blogspot.com/-
ah like a revenge or something... they do to others what others do to them... good point
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I think it is a power thing. It's easier to get a bad reaction than a good reaction, it's easier to make people miserable than happy, it's easier to piss someone off than make them laugh.
Either way, if you get a reaction, you had an affect on them and get some validation of your power.-
ah good point... so if someone was a meanie to you how would you react then? just ignore?
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On the internet it's not a bad idea to ignore it. There are too many people trying to use scandal or a negative personality to drive traffic to their blogs.
It's a lousy promotional tool, so at least if you ignore it, you don't feed their egos and need for attention. -
It depends on what they did. If it was really bad, my theory is that it's hard to be powerful when you are on the floor looking up.
But that is stooping to their level and giving them the reaction that they wanted (Just not the outcome)
I tend to find humor as a good turn around. If you can make a meanie laugh then they know you will not take them seriously anymore and they move on. -
on the internet I think it's more than that. I think you're more of who you truly are on the internet. People don't see you're face that means anything goes. It allows for bad behavior like the woman who was saying things to that teenage girl and the girl committed suicide. I don't think there's an excuse for it. -
yeah we can choose either way ignore or stoop to their level
but I agree with Shiley since you are anonymous in a way on the internet even if you show your pic... doesn't necessarily mean they are you .... in some cases... you can be waht u want to be more than yourself in person coz you are not restricted on the net than in person... -
Again, these are all amazing reasons why people can be so mean. Some just like the reaction, to debate, to feel powerful. I have yet to understand it truly. It's easier as well, when you're hidden behind a computer screen. Miserable people just like to bring others down in my experience. The trick is to not allow them to bring you to their level!
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"I think it is a power thing. It's easier to get a bad reaction than a good reaction, it's easier to make people miserable than happy, it's easier to piss someone off than make them laugh."
Man, there are so many more things we hate than we like. We humans are so picky!
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Exactly
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well hmmmm lol I'm not so picky as long as you know how to RESPECT then we won't have a problem
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you're all morons -
ok you're not. just wanted to see what that felt like. i didn't like it.
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yup that sucks just to even read it even if not directed to a particular person
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These days, I find people GET OFF on seeing just how "OUT" or "Outrageous" they can be. They falsely perceive themselves rated high up on a scale, with their use of bad behavior ... "putting people in their place." Unfortunately, they believe they achieve some sort of acknowledgement from the other rude and mean people as to their fluffed-up superiority. I detest and hate meanness! 
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yeah there's no reason to be mean to EVERYONE we can all live in peace if we do that I think
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We have a saying in inner city outreach... hurt people will hurt people.
Some don't mean to,lots of them do. I have to agree with the earlier comments it is a power thing in many cases.
I had a woman that several of us were helping, that told me she only pretended to be nice if she had a vested interest,and she (in her own words)got a rush out of being mean to people. I would have never thought of it that way.
I could understand the action/reaction thing, the physical pain grumpy thing,the spoiled attention thing, but I must really give people the benefit of the doubt...I had never considered that they enjoyed it.
I figure if anyone hurts so bad that it makes them feel better to be mean, they must really need prayer and I put them on my "Bless them 'till they can stand to be nice please God" prayer list. That gives me a rush of the opposite reaction to their action kind!!!!-
yikes she gets a rush by being mean... wow hmmm it's psychological too it seems
but yeah I guess they are spoiled brats
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People are mean because they hate themselves and will do anything to bring down other people who are happy and constent with themselves.-
ah like crab mentality... draining people's energy
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Because they have enlarged Medulla oblongatas.
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Enlarged or just plain missing?
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Well you know that old saying, a big Medulla oblongata means a small *ahem*.
Therein lies the real root of their anger hehe. -
Hmmmm, that must be an old medulla in Idaho saying
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hahahaha offendedblogger a.k.a. chelle small (toot toot) eh hahahaha
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Perhaps they have indigestion.-
hahahaha what they can't get out in the dumps they let out in some other way? great point! hahahaha!
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I'm reading Voltaire's _Candide_ at the moment, so in real life I feel like I am surrounded by angels.
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I believe there is medication for that.
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hahahahahaha! hallucinogens? lol
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Good book. Would make our complaints seem insignificant.
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I believe it's Lack Of Love.-
lack of love full of hate... that sucks! so we just gonna understand them?
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Well, honestly... I don't see how anyone could be mean to someone as sweet appearing as you.-
hahaha tony, some hate beautiful women because they envy them? hahahahahaha (yeah I know I am very confident about myself hahahaha!)
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wow I just started a discussion on how I have found alot of people to be Let me just say that Mean people suck and I don't care if your rich poor black or white if your cool with me It's all good.Yeah they're alot of mean people online and in real life.I just laugh in there face and if they're really a wiseass I have been to jail many times smacking some fool Believe that.
Nice guys do pay hard but at least I don't have to look at myself in the mirror and know I'm ripping people off online with whatever scam is hot at the moment.These kind of people get what they deserve I have seen it millions of times You keep your chin up and just hang with the winners and smoke out the losers.They need to have a discussion on People on line that suck.-
Tony's got some Fly rap also reminds me of ME
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sometimes it's better to walk away from these meanies... they don't deserve my attention I think hahahaha... and I just want to show the meanies that they are not so cool so I made this discussion topic.
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Bullies have low self esteem, acting superior gives them a false sense of superiority.
My Mom always said ignore them and they'll go away. They want to get a rise out of folks. They live for that.
So rise above the creme. Let the meanines wallow in their own misery.-
--Well said valvethammer! Well Said!
--Thanks jsinkeywest -
hmmm is there an ignore button for that
but yeah that's a good advise from your mom... never stoop to their level
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I think some people are just good at it and they want to share their talents..? It's probably ALL they are good at, and they would rather be mean than losers eh?-
hahaha can they just go share the talent somewhere else? hahaha
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Thanks tonytovar!
@ earthlingorgeous An ignore button that is just what BC needs!
Like the hide option on YouTube. LOL!
Of course we would have to have a thumbs up or down option first.
Bury the meanines brigade.
Jus playin'. -
hahahaha yeah bury the meanies alive! lol so they have a taste of their own medicine whatchatink?:P hahaha
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I have the same question when I worked in a call center... sometimes, you gotta expand your heart, lols! eat or be eaten by them, hmmmm....-
ah yeah call center agents got the patience of a saint sometimes but they cry behind the headset sometimes when the customer is overly mean
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They are sucking your energy. The more energy you have the more people try to steal it. When someone is mean to me I see it as a compliment. Usually they are just jealous.
If someone is super rude I just say "I will pray for your soul so that you can find peace".
That usually shuts them right up!-
wow that's perfect ... I imagine you leave them stunned with those words hahahaha
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Good advice Doc,I have made myself on occasion pray for mean people and have seen them turn even nicer than they were mean !
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See! It works. Maybe we should all just envision mean people becoming nicer...
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yeah I think so, we sometimes worry too much and go right on thinking negative ... we should remember nobody is born evil hahaha just some like it being that way hahahahahaha
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Well... someone will have to do the job. They give us an example of how not to behave.-
you nailed that one psychodiabolix hahahaha... they are a great example of how NOT to behave!
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They don't understand.-
exactly shallow heads or like mr payne like to imply they feel superior?
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"Mean" is a relative word. Nobody can be "mean" to you if you do not accept it as such. So, why worry about it? You don't want to be so intelligent that nobody can relate to you, do you?-
mr payne, everyone knows what being a meanie is I ask you back your question, you are taking the word as a word not an action so answer the question you just asked
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jackpayne said, "You don't want to be so intelligent that nobody can relate to you, do you?"
That's a sad excuse not to be intelligent. -
I agree morganti
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People are mean because often they are our greatest teachers.-
i'm with u acousticguitarist! Change our mindset and stop pointing others. no one perfect in this beautiful world right? -
It doesn't follow, just because someone is a great teacher, it doesn't justify them being mean.
Perhaps you just meant to say that we can learn from mean people. -
hmmmm
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i'm confused lol
hmmm maybe thats what meanies wanna do confuse lol
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ThriftShopRomantic says it best-
uhmmm what did the thriftshopromantic said bellydancegirl? nice belly by the way
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Thank you. This was her reply to you up top: "On the internet it's not a bad idea to ignore it. There are too many people trying to use scandal or a negative personality to drive traffic to their blogs.
It's a lousy promotional tool, so at least if you ignore it, you don't feed their egos and need for attention."-
ah thanks bellydancegirl that comment was way on top and yeah a negative promotional tool hahaha
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it can be both -
yup sometimes when push comes to shove we become mean too but I bet gbeth you don't just become mean for no reason right?
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Is there somewhere I can take lessons on being mean because I am always told I am a pushover. -
hahahaha earthandeconomy hi hi hmmmm would you really like to be a pushover or the be the bully?
you should learn to stand-up for yourself and not let anyone be mean to you because nobody got the right to do that to anyone
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Oh! Jeeeez! I have to post a disclosure for this one coz I've been getting lots of private message because they thought people are being mean to me... no they are not... sorry people around me are very sweet and fun hahaha... I just posted this topic for discussions sake only (hmmm I didn't thought I have to post a diclosure on this one!)
Thank you everyone for being so nice and supportive the world needs more people like you
Now back to regular programming! Cheers! -
When you become the person who is your ultimate best self, and all you do is love every single person you see, all the mean people disappear. You are who you say you are. You are a beautiful divine person made in the image of God. All you have to do is say "I love you" over and over again within yourself.-
hmmm tim what a nice philosophy you have i wish the mean people disappear when u being nice but some wanna annoy you know and were only humans not saints
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For some it is a power thing. My daughter learned working at disney (where she had to deal with a lot of very mean and rude guests) to just smile and say sweetly "have a magical day". She said it was amazing what the reaction was.-
yeah actually to annoyed customers to feel important is the best way to tame their annoyance
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Because of the hardness of their heart, rooted in woundedness, lack of love, and other.
Imagine a world where hatred did not exist?
Shameless plug: I did a post about this earlier this month - tinyurl.com/6qxutl-
hi, thanks for sharing this post good one! I agree with your point but you know it's impossible because it's the balance of life... imagine if we don't know sadness or don't get hurt... I mean it's nice to have a world full of love but I mean without pain also we won't know how sweet our lives are right?
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Some may want to maintain their own personal standard.
Being mean is one way to ensure their standards are not compromised.-
hmmm... I don't think this is a good reason to be mean... everyone is different in their own way ... like there's a better way or another way to say things you want than to say it or do it in a mean way
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Because they suck at life!-
good one!
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I think people are mean because they have unresolved issues. Think about it. Happy people don't go around being mean to others.
As for people being rude, some are just ignorant and don't know any better. On the most part people are self-centered. Rude people don't care about anyone but self.-
ah yeah I understand this point
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I truly believe that 85 to 90% of the World is just Miserable and that's why they're so mean. What makes them this Miserable? I do not know?-
hmmmm ruth, so 85 to 90% wow that's a lot... i don't think so though... are you on the minority 10 percent Not miserable?
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I don't think most intend to be mean. People tend to get swallowed up by pressures and their environments and have problems coping; so then they decide to "spread the joy" - Nards
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yeah good point
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Some people are so mean because they think that others are also mean to them. It's like "Don't do unto others what you don't want them to do unto you".
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I'm a firm believer that most people are out to get you, and that a vast amount od women are significantly jealous of other women for whatever it may be, hence the reason why they like to make others miserable-
wow moms that is like a paranoid attitude like fox mulder in Xfiles hahahaha. when we think that everyone is out to get us maybe we should think have we done and what do we have that they're out there to get you
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Because they need help!-
then why not say HELP! lol
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Because some other people are being mean to them. Blame it on the society i guess! -
They are mean because they are sad-
yeah i think so
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Good question, earthling!
I guess some people are just insecure and some, like the ones I have had the misfortune of meeting, have mental disorders.
This post is just the tip of the iceberg of the crazy stuff I have endured the last couple years!
I Can't Like Mean Girls: bloggerhype.blogspot.com/2008/03/i-cant-like-mean-girls.html
And a different mean/crazy lady that lives next door I wrote about in this post:
Fatal Obsession bloggerhype.blogspot.com/2008/02/over-controlling-parents-push-kids-over.ht...-
lol mental disorders hahahaha
wow looks like good read I go check them out thanks for sharing
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People that are mean or act mean have probably suffered a lot of rejection or have a lot of built up anger inside of them as well as unforgiveness. Bitterness comes from hurts, hurts from child-parent relationships or even husband-wife relationships. People that are bitter are usually very critical and insensitive.-
I agree mudiva... and I am being attacked now by a mean person lol... did I call for it maybe ... oh well atleast they found someone to take their angst lol...
happy to help lol
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Actually, I think sleep has a lot to do with it. Think about it, a mother has to get up at 6 to cook breakfast, get the kids up and dressed, drive them to school, make sure husband is up in time to get to work, get ready for work, drive to work, deal with fellow workers and costumers. Slave at work so long that the kids are forced to get a ride or take the bus home, so she misses out on hearing the news of the day (which by the time she gets home the kids have told someone else so see no need to tell her).
Than when she does get home her husband expects her to wash the laundry, vacuum the floors, pick up his work cloths which he threw on the floor because he was in a hurry to turn on the tv and watch some stupid game while getting drunk, than complains if it's past 6 o'clock and she hasn't cooked supper yet. Than his parents drop by at 9 o'clock and refuse to leave, she doesn't get to bed till midnight, and she had no time to rest no time to take a break, and she's barely asleep before the alarm goes off and the day starts all over again. She's tired, she lacks sleep, she's irritated, she's aching, and she's ready to snap at the drop of a pin.
Well, that's just one scenario, but you get the idea, right?
People live hectic busy lives, and have no time for rest and relaxation anymore, and I think that if you go too long in the same old stressed out situations over and over again, with out ever having any time to just stop and rest, you end up getting mean and rude, with out even realizing it.
Of course there are lots of other reasons too, but I think this is the most common one.-
yup got the idea, but being cranky and plain mean is different I think
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people are mean because they just want to be, at that moment, the strong urge to offend or take revenge for something they feel they have every right to do. That feeling may subside after a period of time, so it's really just how emotional and uncontrollable it gets for them to vent their frustration to seek satisfaction by being mean. -
I agree with mudiva - tension builds up until they can't contain it, and they just keep saying/doing mean things. It makes them feel better at that split second, but most people with a conscience feel guilty after that.
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I think all mean people should see videos of themselves being mean, then maybe they will change their ways. =/
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Poor parenting. -
I disagree with Eelkat. Being tired is just a poor excuse for being mean to someone. I am a mother of 2 teens, I homeschool one and drive the other to school. I am always busy, overworked and overtired but never ever do I treat anyone with disrespect or with rudeness no matter how tired I am. I live by "treat others like you want to be treated".
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What a great question. Wish there was an easy answer. I just don't think they are happy with or like themselves. -
Some people just don't have the patience they used to, I think. Stress probably also plays a role. -
it'll make them famous -
survival of the fittest. that's the way the world works. -
Sometimes the fittest are those who quietly get on with life, can achieve much because they do not bring hatred and anger towards themselves, but bring respect, acceptance and kindness back.
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amen to that jafabrit!
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I am very mean-
Oh you wanna be meanie!
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I think some of it is culture. If you hang around with mean people and were raised by mean people, you become a mean person. -
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eneres08 with all due respect, signiture lines with your blog link aren't allowed....Personally I really don't think it's a big deal but believe me somone that is not as tactful might point it out to you...you are new and want you to fit in so just thought I'd let ya know. Have a great day -
Oh check you out Miss hall monitor! LOL!
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Almost every human is extremely mean.
Ask any of the critters or plants we eat what nice people we are.
Ask Native Americans about what nice people Americans are. -
To be fair, earthlingorgeous, I was in a thread a while back that I read, and I thought you were a bit mean, but admittedly, our perceptions aren't always accurate, nor are they always inaccurate. You might think I'm mean for bringing that up, for instance. Maybe sometimes you catch someone on a bad day. I'm sure I've come across as mean to someone before and I've changed my mind about several people on this board, a majority of them for the better. I now realize that first impressions can be broken and improved. There's no single answer for why you think someone is mean or bitter. I don't know if there is an absolute answer for this. I usually think they just need to get laid, and fast.
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I think it strokes some peoples ego when they can knock another down. Others just lack social skills and perhaps some are having a bad day.
I try to be nice - though I can be nasty if motivated. One thing I am very proud of is that in the last five years I have not said anything mean or demeaning to my wife. I remember some of our early arguments and at some point made a conscious descision to settle differences with reason rather than attack.-
I just awarded someone the booger award on my blog because they were being a nasty snot with a pal of mine. I think I can be a bit more forgiving if it is due to lack of social skills, but being mean to intimidate, bully or feel superior earns my booger award.
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And they deserved it. I left you a comment on the subject.
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that sounds like a good case for - Hot for words. you should submit your link there and see if you can turn some fun
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Because thats the nature of man[kind] -
I think it's a matter of "control" issues, or lack of "control". You can "control" someone else or the atmosphere with what you say and do. -
...balance of nature?
Because there are so nice people.
If there would be no "so nice people" theoretically there would be no "so mean" people. Because they are usually mean to the "so nice" people. The not so nice will resist them.
Without all of them, still remains are the "balanced behavior" people.
And we still have a balanced nature.
I am on the middle. Where do you belong? -
I guess they are mean to uphold their view base on past experience. It is a sign of firmness and also a signal to be "careful" of personal boundaries (physical and mental).
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