Discussions

Why Bother Adding Friends?

Posted by Timesobserver • 7/18/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: friends

You know what I can't stand? When people add you as a friend and give you a shout out that seems sincere, as if they really care about you or your blog.

But when you click their profile, you'll see they have added about 20 other people and said the same thing to them.

And what really burns my bacon is that some of these people who have added me claim they liked my blog, but my metrics has told me that no one has visited my blog, or especially, my new-found friends.

Sure, I know we all want people to come to our blog. It's one of the major reasons why we're here. However, when I add a friend, it's because I have a real interest in the person or their blog.

I take the time to actually go to their blog and read a few of their posts before I decide to make them a friend. I just don't whore myself out and make 50 people my friend, giving each of them the same message.

I'm getting off my soapbox now but does anyone out there agree with me?

User Comments

7/18/09

cookingasshole

happens all the time but I agree

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7/18/09

cindygeenotes

As I'm relatively new here, this was bugging me as well. I know the primary reason some people are here is to get traffic to their site. I've had shouts that are of the "I visited you, please visit me" sort. That pretty much ends it for me. Along the same lines, if someone says, "I added you as a friend, please add me back", I don't respond. If I truly liked someone's blog, I wouldn't leave that kind of message in their shoutbox. I "friend" people who have blogs that I am sincerely interested in and will direct my energy into supporting them and what they doing. It won't get me ratings, no doubt, but I'm good with that.

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1. 7/18/09
  
  thought
  
  i never visit such people, i ask them to leave a comment in my blog if they want me to take the trouble to visit their blog.
  
  i rarely have time to visit my own blog, so i will never go for a red herring chase
7/18/09

cindygeenotes

Oops. Almost made twins out of the comment above...

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7/18/09

marketborn

Consider me. I am not one of those shame faced liars.

LOL. Self Promotion.

By the way you are doing the right thing. I even see shouts like "thanks for the add. I just visited your site and it is really nice and informative. Visit my blog too." all the time. But no real visits.

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7/18/09

gerryPlanetEarth

It is the policy of the Planet Earth Peace Party to reciprocate friendships and followers on social media...

Adhering to this policy on blogcatalog has produced mixed results...One of our computers had to be erased etc. due to a virus from a blog of a blogcatalog member who friended me...Some of the blogs of people who have friended me are total garbage and were a waste of time reading and loading on my antique computer...

On the other hand I was pleasantly surprised at the quality and content of many interesting blogs whose authors have friended me on bc...I have also made numerous friends all over the planet by reciprocating contact and/or friendship on bc...

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7/18/09

thought

it happens all the time, i think people just add others as friend. habit? increase in ranking? dunno!!

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7/18/09

idealpinkrose

I noticed the same thing. But as a respect, I also add those who added me to their friends list.

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7/18/09

Mkcoy

Yes yes yes I thoroughly agree. I get people sending my private msgs telling me they've visited my blog and to visit theres. Some have even asked me to click there ads. Those ones get deleted straight.

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8/27/09

oddsox

I just started getting these 'Mr.Mxyzptlk [insert other nonsense name] added you as friend' spams in the last two days. Is there a way to block people from adding you as a friend?

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8/27/09

Floormodel

I consider the people I befriend a step above the faceless bloggers and I don't auto-friend anyone who friends me.
I also don't particularly care if anyone visits my blog, it's mostly me just talking because my family and friends get tired of my mindless chatter so I write it out. I do visit my friend's blogs pretty regularly as long as they give me good bribes to do it.

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8/27/09

shade2009

Hey TO, Sorry that you feel that way.. But in my opinion we all have different purposes as to why we are here... some will float around adding friends without creating relationships and some will find relationships. I suppose what you need to know is that we are all unique in our ways .you sound like a nice genuine person and mostly likely will attract people like yourself here ,so but keep do doing your thing and just enjoy the ride...:)

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8/27/09

nothingprofound

I befriend everyone who befriends me. It's like in real life: if to leads to something, fine; if not, fine. I'll hardly be crushed by either result.

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8/27/09

Adityavardhan

Nowadays, nobody approaches me neither do I...

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8/27/09

oddsox

thanks all I was debating on adding a new blog (err newer-ish version), but not sure I want to get all those damn added friend and "hi visited your blog great and nice work" shouts emails. Wish there was a moderation option.

@FloorModel My new(ish) blog is the kind of the same thing as yours. Basically a think it, post it then forget it blog. Maybe I should consider my blogs as less a social networking opportunity and more a social circle saver. Oh and love the name! hehe

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8/27/09

b0ll0cks

Totally agreed

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8/27/09

environmentalbooty

I friend everyone (within reason) as I am always looking to expand my network as well as my outlook.

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