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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Posted by PrincessQuello • 10/29/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: Chicken, joke, political

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

So why did the chicken cross the road?

User Comments

10/29/08

RTBjr73

You are a very bored woman, who is prcrastinating on writing her letter of resignation, aren't you.

[reply]
1. 10/29/08
  
  PrincessQuello
  
  Maybe. But it's not like I came up with all of these.
  
  I just got it in an email and wanted to share.
10/29/08

flamingpoodle

To get some KFC?

[reply]
1. 10/29/08
  
  PrincessQuello
  
  How masochistic of him
2. 10/30/08
  
  kevinatserieatalk
  
  good one, chicken-man was sick of being a free range bird, brock brock broooooook
10/29/08

RTBjr73

Maybe?

How sincere...lol

[reply]
1. 10/29/08
  
  PrincessQuello
  
  I try...LOL
10/29/08

calais50

love it!

[reply]
10/29/08

RTBjr73

Didn't Sarah Palin shoot the chicken from the helicopter?

[reply]
1. 10/29/08
  
  LynneaUrania
  
  Perhaps if she was using one of those chicken guns like what they use in wind tunnels to hit that moose. That way she could have chicken for lunch and moose for dinner.
2. 11/12/08
  
  timethief
  
  @Tommy
  Hmmm ... maybe she couldn't find a bear or a wolf to shoot.
10/29/08

legbamel

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get from the left to the right.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=RR-PFQWOJWQ&feature=related

[reply]
10/30/08

Bayho

to get to the other side of course.
haha i actually didnt read the thread but only because it was too long. imma go back and read it right now.. but i just wanted to say that haha it was the first thuing that came into mind when i read the topic.

[reply]
10/30/08

drjay1966

****NC17 Alert--Those With Impressionable Minds or Easily Offended Stop Reading Now!****
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken.

[reply]
1. 10/30/08
  
  crpitt
  
  Naughty
10/30/08

Xight

XIGHT - Because its in my shopping cart, and my car is on the other side of the road.

[reply]
11/12/08

creemos

comment removed by the community.

[reply]
1. 11/13/08
  
  creemos
  
  Why would my comment be removed by the community?
  
  Was it because I mentioned the possibility that a opossum can't do what a chicken can?
  
  Good grief people! LOL
11/12/08

jtokarsbr

hahaha! these are too good! You had better post that on your blog.

[reply]
11/12/08

Hangingonahyphen

The chicken wants to know if he can find a job as a nursing attendant or an auto-mechanic or domestic helper on the other side of the road. I seriously suspect it's a filipino chicken.

[reply]
11/12/08

timethief

A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. He sped up to 75 mph, and the chicken passed him. The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. So he followed the chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer, "What's up with these chickens?" The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs, so I bred a three-legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted. The farmer said, "Don't know, haven't caught one yet." (Molly - Ohio/USA) www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com/

[reply]
11/12/08

irelandpropertypro

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why not!

[reply]
11/12/08

robinj

My God is there anything not blogged about!

[reply]