Discussions
Why do most men find it difficult to be faithful to spouse?
Posted by princebiocas • 5/30/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: ladies, MEN, spouse, trust, unfaithful, women
Most women complain of their unfaithful spouse.
Many suspect every move of their men because of this,especially when they are around younger,beautiful single ladies.Why,why,and why?
User Comments
-
its a primal thing -
"Most" - anything to back it up such statements with? -
lol, for every cheating man there's a cheating woman. -
Really, MOST men? I'm not so sure about that... -
Because they have penises.-
that sums it up -
I disagree. It's not the sexual equipment creates cheaters. It's what's going on between their ears. Immature men and women who remain in a state of perpetual adolescence are users who become cheaters.
-
-
I completely reject the idea that it's "difficult" to be faithful if you want to be. As for the assertion that "most" men want to be unfaithful, I, too, would love to see a source for that.-
I completely agree! Well said. -
Hear! Hear! The self indulgent portion of humanity cheat. They are perpetual adolescents.
-
-
Men are males. Natural. To continue and multiply the species. The male organ is "designed" to stand out, go forward, and enter. The female organ to open and receive. The cock of the walk. The rooster and the flock. The male lion fluffing his furs. The stud horse leading the herd. Couplings do evolve from the herds. And is happening more and more with humans. Thankfully. But...face it...evolution takes a while.-
Rivy,i find your contribution very interesting and funny.That must be out of wealth of experience and maturity.Thanks 4 commenting .
-
-
Friends,forgive the use of th e word" Most",for i don't have a prove of that statistic,but looking at it critically,to be truthful you will see that greater % of men are found or caught chasing younger girls,that may lead to their spouse not trusting them,and i just wonder why.
-
Leg - and guys - not to be personal - but EVERY guy I've ever been with - with the exception of the one that I am currently married to has been unfaithful for one reason or another.
It's like they couldn't help it.
It could be because I chose men of moral character defects... It could be because they came across a situation that in our lifestyles put them too close to temptation.
I mean - for a long time I loved going out to the clubs with my hubby and going to after hour parties. But because I do not drink very much - or often - I used to leave once everyone was trashed... And I would trust him to come home in a cab... On his own.
OK - maybe I put him in the situations - but he could have declined. RIGHT?
And I had a boyfriend decide my best friend was his true love.
And strangely - 20 years later - they are still happily married - so bravo to them!
And I had another husband who decided he was gay.
I've been married 3 times.
My first marriage ended in one year - he was gay... Uhm and there was no doubt of that when I walked in on it.
My second marriage ended after I got sick - and he went out drinking and came home one too many times satisfied by someone else - when I couldn't - while he left me to rot downstairs... Letting someone else take care of me.
My third marriage is to the person who took care of me - and devoted his time to me. The one who helped me become human again.
I do NOT fear that he will cheat. He's just not built that way mentally. It isn't acceptable to him any more than it is acceptable to me.
We both believe IF you are going to cheat - then you shouldn't be in a relationship.
(actually those are his words.)
So do I think ALL men cheat?
No...
Some of them do... Some of them don't.
Why do they cheat?
Because some feel they can only get "love" by having sex... and sometimes they lose that loving feeling with t he one they are with.
Because some feel they are "kings" when they can have more.
Some like the sleazy feeling of going behind someone's back - and maybe getting caught.
Some need MORE attention than is possible with one other person.
Some are insecure in their relationships - so seek compliments or adoring fun - with others.
Some just like variety.
Some don't feel that marriage should let them stagnate.
Some --- well some are just jerks.
BUT - not all... not all.-
Men (and women) who cheat are simply weak -- no other excuse needed.
-
Wagerwitch that was a good one!And to everyone contributing i say thanks.Am learning from you all.
-
I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. The only guy who ever cheated on my was a boyfriend in high school. People who cheat are too interested in themselves and in instant gratification to truly commit to a monogamous relationship. If that's their thing, then good for them. When they sucker people into believing that they've changed or that they care more about their partner than themselves (or when they fool themselves into it), they're being disingenuous. The fact is that some people like to have someone on the side to keep the home fires burning while they sow their oats. They're users and they come in both genders. I just don't think that you can paint an entire gender with that broad of a brush. My brother is a serial cheater and has been since he was a teenager, but he's the only one I know.
-
Leg - yanno - I've been to your page before - and this is going to sound sooooo darn strange - but I always thought you were a male... LOL!
When I read your comment under mine - it threw me for a loop.
I'm sooo sorry I thought that.
LOLOLOL!
And I don't know why I thought that - either.
Just one of those odd things... -
@legbamel
People who cheat are too interested in themselves and in instant gratification to truly commit to a monogamous relationship. ... They're users and they come in both genders.
I agree 100% with you.
-
-
I think more men are doing it,some are just very smart at it or having a mild case i.e doing it little.You are very lucky not to be a victim,but many have ,and are hurt.My people say,"Many lizards are lying down with their belly,and so you never can tell which one is troubled with tommy-ache"[a proverb].To catch us men may be difficult sometimes!
Am sorry to admit.-
in response to a few posts formerfurface.blogspot.com/2008/10/dont-you-just-wish.html
-
-
I think part of it is because there's so much emphasis that the only real value a woman has is her beauty. Very rarely do I hear women in the media talked about (or even with my own relatives) because they're smart, or funny. I hear about the woman being beautiful. No other quality seems to compare.
So when you get into a real relationship, with real people who may not be beautiful all the time-- or forever-- where's the incentive to stay if any other positive traits don't count? -
We are all conditioned for monogamy in one way or another, then socialized to try to live up to that conditioning, so of course men who are constantly bombarded with messages that they are 'naturally unfaithful' and that this behavior on some level is acceptable, then we are faced with a contradiction that we expected anyway. So because that is 'man's nature,' he gets a little slap on the wrist or his face depending on the woman. That said, however, if a woman is unfaithful because of this monogamy conditioning she is judged more harshly and is more socialized to feel ashamed. The real issue is with our personal expectations and what we value. Some people have open relationships so they don't have to deal with issues of faithfulnes. They feel they are being true to themselves. Some people don't and repress their natural urgings and live fine lives, too. It is not our helplessness in the face of man's nature that causes the problem it is our turmoil over our own human natures and natural inclinations that do. -
generally most of the men { or probably all } feel that they are Ron jeremy...super dudes...
-
I think the reasons for a person being unfaithful are really irrelevant. The essential thing is: one has given one's word to be faithful and is one going to keep it. All the excuses in the world don't justify violating the trust each person has a right to expect from the other.-
Bing! Give that man a cookie.
-
-
Friend the question here is very generic, but the bigger question is how to deal with it,Its always been there since time immemorial and will always be there , But what I think is,IF HE/SHE cheats once, get help. If he/she cheats twice, get out.” Not a bad advice, really, because sometimes one can make a mistake and realise all that they stood to lose in choosing to cheat. When that happens, if the party which cheated realises this, makes amends and comes back to the relationship with total honesty that relationship could actually become stronger than it was before because they will realise just what they stood to lose and will do everything in their power not to lose it again.
-
The root of the problem is within WOMAN! A woman does not trust herself as a woman!!! And she does not know how to be valuable for a husband!!
I am fine to let my husband to see other woman because I know he will never find one better than me! I give my man everything he needs as a man - why does he need to look for another woman??
Plus, he knows that I am very popular among men. He is not stupid to let himself to lose me.-
this is called a matter of convenience...
-
-
This is called Woman's wisdom and Femininity!
-
The root of the problem is within WOMAN! A woman does not trust herself as a woman!!! And she does not know how to be valuable for a husband!!
This is called confussion -
Confusion??
What are you confused about? -
Sorry, I have no confusions...
-
-
Girls, do you want to be happy as Women? Come to my blog! It took me 8 years to find a key to these secrets! I am glad to share them with you!
-
A woman herself is so complete that she does not have to be any thing else [ genuine/in genuine].Just except this .. you may save another 8 years...
-
complete but so many of them do not know that. They think that they are not enough...beautiful, smart, attractive....
-
I am Genuine because I am perfect for MYSELF!!
-
who told you that woman will become happy if she is or if she become,beautiful, smart and attractive. the question out here is why people stray... and can we think or offer any solutions.. or guidelines....Actually,Marriage or relations can survive infidelity but it hurts. Healing from infidelity is hard, painful work; both the partners must be committed to repairing the damage. One of the greatest challenges people attempting to recover from marital infidelity experience is dealing with the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Every relationship has some good days and some bad days and that’s normal with marriage too. Only you can decide to heal and offer forgiveness, just make sure the partner is worth it. Marriage/relation will be successful again after infidelity if both agree that they will try to make their marriage/relation work. This is possible only if the cheated partner forgives and tries to forget the offence and the cheater mate promises not to cheat again and regrets or makes amends for the wrongdoing.
-
No one told me anything. I am a woman!
Can a woman be happy if she is not confident in herself? Show me this woman!
-
-
I think they find it hard to be faithful because there are a lot more single women out here in this world.... second some women have lower standards they don't mind sharing or fooling around with a married man... so that makes it more easier for a married man to be unfaithful....
-
Men can be bastards when they don't keep themselves in check. -
So that means part of the problems come from women too.
Some of the excuses that men give are:nagging wifes,aging wifes,temptation from young ladies,insufficient sex from their wifes,communication gap e.t.c -
Am so sorry for not attending to this thread,I had to quickly go and support my darling team -Chelsea,who are in FA cup finals.Am happy we won the cup.
I want to use this opportunity to thank all of you that have contributed so far. -
"Cheating" is a concept of society. It doesn't have anything to do with gender.
Look at most animals -- with the exception of a few, there's little concept of fidelity to a mate. In fact, from a biological standpoint, it's encouraged to mate with as many people as possible to ensure your genetics survive to the next generation. -
I agree that women do it too,but it's more common with men than women.
-
It's likely more common with men, because we are animals after all... albeit more evolved ones... but animals nonetheless. Male animals procreate with more than one female, because it maximizes the likelihood that genetically/physically strong offspring will result.
Women and men are both drawn to characteristics in the opposite sex that indicate fertility and good genes (in men: strength, deep voice, height, etc... in women: curves, breasts indicate fertility, thick hair, symmetrical features.)
The reason men probably act on these biologically programmed impulses more often, is that historically women have not been treated equally. For thousands of years, women who "procreated as often as they wanted" were punished severely in many ways- sexually, physically, socially, emotionally...
These historical trends are passed on from generation to generation... even in the modern America where rape is against the law... 60 percent of women will suffer from unwanted sexual encounters, molestation or rape. That more than HALF...
This comment isn't gift wrapped neatly with a beginning middle end or anything... it kind of roams where my brain does... but I think some of the points reflect what other people have said. In the end... monogamy versus bigamy versus faithfulness versus cheating are not a matter of "right" versus "wrong" but simply judgments made in a subjective value system... -
Good talk!You've made your point.
Add Your Comment
Login to leave a message.
