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Would you leave someone because the gained weight??
Posted by Sharonydouglas • 26 days ago • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: body image, relationships, sex, weight issues
If the man I fell in love with began to gain weight I wonder if my shallowless would keep me from loving him..
What would you do??
User Comments
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Buy him a gym membership, a treadmill, and withhold sex.
Yes, I am that shallow.-
lol i hate to admit it but I totally agree with you..
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I figure if I keep myself looking hot, he better too.
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I kind of agree there, though I am somewhat of a chubby chaser so if a guy of mine gained weight it would be very noticable -
lol.. I would love to hear an opinion from someone is is heavier.. maybe they can educate us
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sex burns a lot of calories, said the tubby man
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I probably wouldn't even notice.-
really?? That says alot about how much you love them
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I can't even imagine leaving someone you care for just because they put on a few pounds.
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he has gained weight but I've gotten greyer so I figure we even out in the long run. He has begun watching his food intake and exercising more so I'm okay with a little extra weight if he is.-
Well said. I agree with that approach 100%.
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If he got fat I'd let him work it off in the bedroom, and encourage him to eat healthy and exercise...and if he was still fat...
I'd love his fat ass anyway....who cares?-
I wish i wasn't so shallow.. I think I really have to physically attracted to someone to keep the same feelings I have for them
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I've met guys with bellys that I thought were totally hot. I don't have to be with Tyson Beckford. I would def want my baby to be healthy but if he liked being chubby then so be it.
When I cheat with the gardener, maybe he'll wanna start doing a push up or two... -
lol.. true!!
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That's like saying "I'm gonna leave her because now her breasts are hanging too much, or her bums starting to sag, or her feet are growing bunyons" or maybe she now has a illness I don't like.
shallow, shallow, shallow and sad.-
I agree. In my marriage, both my wife and I have had fluctuations in our weight, and it's made no difference (I guess I can't speak for her) in how attractive I find her. She still has beautiful eyes, a wonderful smile and, whether she's a pound or ten over or under, a figure that entices me. A woman who would actually END a relationship over something like that is hardly worth the bother to begin with.
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No. Presumably my relationship with him would be based on more than weight/looks, since those things are so fleeting and changeable...
Where things like humor, ethics and personality, are less so.-
I know you wouldn't date someone who didn't understand the importance of Cake or Death!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZVjKlBCvhg -
Heh, yes-- cake please!
But I probably also wouldn't date a guy who wore more makeup than I do... unless it was Jack Sparrow. -
You would say no to Mr Izzard? I don't think I could
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Well, I'd be happy to meet you both for beer... and cake!
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Death for you... lol
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Cake for me? No, let me guess...death.
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Besides all of the exercise you would put the poor sap on, how about working on his diet. I have been doing a lot of research lately on weight loss. I have found a great blog by a doctor who who is putting a lot of the blame on wheat. Now I'm not pushing anyone's blog just wanted to point to this article that you would find interesting. heartscanblog.blogspot.com/2007/07/wheat-belly.html
I have cut out wheat and sugar so far for a week and have lost 5 lbs. without doing anything else differently and I'm not hungry at all.-
good for you!! great article, too. i'm also working on cutting out many things. luckily i don't have to worry about wheat because i loathe breads and cereals. sugar is proving tougher, LOL... always had a bit of a sweet tooth...
on the actual discussion topic - @Sharonydouglas, i don't think you are shallow. animals are typically drawn to good health in sexual partners. slenderness and other physically attractive traits are naturally desirable, including symmetry, posture, strength, social norms of the culture in question, etc. these are facts of natural selection. people may try to make you feel bad for focusing on "appearance" -- but it goes deeper than that for many reasons having to do with the immune system.
i am very health conscious and would not want to be with someone who did not seriously foster good eating or exercise habits. naysayers, criticize reality at will, but i don't want to take care of someone in old age who didn't take care of themselves!! i take great care of myself because i want to be independent as long as possible.
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Think he would still love you if he knew how shallow you might be?
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Ha--great question, xmarks.
My husband weighs about 15 lbs. more than he did when we married. I have weighed a few pounds over my ideal weight on occasion also (although my back condition makes me very motivated to lose any weight I gain fairly quickly).
I love my husband and he really loves me. I don't care if he weighs more--he's the most wonderful man in the world. He treats me like a princess and completely adores me. That's worth so much more than 15 lbs.
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Here's a newsflash - seriously.
If you expect the person you marry to look the same forever - you'll be sadly, sadly disappointed. Truth is we all grow old and start to look shitty sooner or later.
If you are only into their "looks", then what you are experiencing isn't best described as "love" (at least not "unconditional love" - whatever that means), but perhaps better as "lust" or "physical attraction" - and there is a distinct difference between them.
"Love" is what prompts us men to keep telling you ladies you look pretty after we turn you into whales following a little drunken New Year's hanky panky and a moment or two of innocent forgetfulness. :-) -
I loved that answer.....
I would never,as a matter of fact I gained 30 lbs with both of my pregnacies,I lost all the weight after 6 mos. or so. Ted gained 40 lbs and still sports his gut to this day -
A look is quite important for me..gain weight is not so much a lovely part i want to see at my lover body,hahaha...i need skinny so i can hold it easily..huhuhu~ -
If the man I fell in love with began to gain weight I wonder if my shallowless would keep me from loving him..
What would you do??
There's nothing we can do... because:
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hahahahaha!!
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I believe love isn't a feeling it is how we act. Love is what we do not the emotions we tie to another person. Emotions and feelings are fleeting. If we say we love someone because of how we feel, then you can expect the love to go away because feelings can go away.
I love my husband who has gained weight not because of feelings of how he looked at a certain time or place. My love is there because of his morals, values, beliefs and his irreplaceable quirks.
Real love can't be lost and gained because we fall in and out of lust. True love exists because we accept imperfections and see how precious and valueable that person is.
We can 'drop' someone because their looks fade and trade in for someone else and then be met with another imperfection. There will always be something. Maybe an adjustment in our attitude will help us more than a change in partner.
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