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Would you let your daughter model or do beauty pageants?
Posted by calais50 • 8/26/08 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
If you don't have kids, you can answer this question hypothetically. I would not let my daughter model. I would not enter her in a beauty pageant unless she approached me and it was her idea. Every parent is different. How do you feel?
User Comments
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Within reason. My daughter was in an independent movie a couple of summers ago and really enjoyed it. If she wanted to do more I would let her, if it didn't interfere with her real life (by which I mean not just school, but getting a normal amount of sleep and having free time to spend with her friends and all that). The make-up girl on the film suggested a modeling possibility for her and gave us a name, but I just waited to see how interested my daughter was--she never brought it up again, so I didn't either.-
I guess my fear would be she would develop an eating disorder or be under too much stress. That's really cool your DD was in a movie.
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I agree, Calais, that there are a lot of pitfalls--but that's why we're there as parents, right? Almost any good thing can turn bad with the wrong pressures, the wrong influences, even just the wrong fit for the child in question.
Since we're on the topic, I can't resist sharing this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQrlFkw1w-8
I'm a mom, after all. Feel free to ignore.
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I would not let my daughter do anything like that (including movies) until she reaches adulthood. Then she can make her own decisions but hopefully she will still seek my guidance. -
Ugh! Whenever I think of child pageants, I think of that poor little girl Jon Benet. It was awful seeing her all made-up like an adult model. Kids should just worry about being kids, imo.-
That was so sad. They had more makeup on that little girl than I've ever worn.
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It would depend on her age, I have 5 kids, 3 are girls, 20, 16 and 6. I wouldn't allow it until they were at least 12, and then as Madame X said, only if it didn't interfer with real life -
My mother was a frustrated performer who decided to live vicariously through me (unfortunately I was born with a rather good singing voice). From the age of 5 until I wised up at about 11, I spent my Saturdays taking voice lessons, my afternoons practicing, and a lot of my evenings at talent contests. Eventually I became a regular on a local TV kiddie's show and my mother developed delusions of me being the next Shirley Temple and making her rich, whereupon my life became consumed with auditions, lessons, costume fittings, etc. etc. etc. I hated every minute of it...I wanted to play with the little girls on my street, take ballet lessons with them, and spend my weekends riding my bike in the neighbourhood.
I do not believe parents who say their little girls like the grind of this kind of existence...if you had asked me I would have said I enjoyed it because I did not want to disappoint or upset my mother. My own daughter, had she wanted to compete in anything...pageants, talent, sports...would have been given permission but SHE would be the driving force and I would have done no more than be the facilitator. I think parents who put their children through this kind of thing are abusing their children by preventing them from having a normal childhood. It should be allowed ONLY if the child has a driving ambition for this kind of thing, and no child the age of Jon-Benet Ramsey can have that kind of ambition without undue parental influence.
Little girls should be out in the sunshine playing with their friends, not strutting around on stages togged out like tiny little tarts.-
That's awful Violet. I totally agree. There are 60+ years to be a grown up and only a few years to be a child.
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Depending on her age and her tenacity to want to do it despite all our words of wisdom as parents to the contrary, then yes, if it's what she really wants. -
Yes- She should use her "talent" and "skills" to help make up for my squashed dreams of being Miss Long Island '92. I'm not living vicariously through her... -
I wouldn't let my imaginary daughter do anything like that until she was hypothetically at least a teenager and thick-skinned, if that makes any sense. Then again, my imaginary daughter has always been hypothetically very mature for her age and also very well mannered and able to take criticism and does all the chores and is perfectly okay with all of my parenting decisions that I hypothetically make for her. So, it's not a problem, lol.
~Lucy -
Absolutely not. I modeled, and got caught up in the pay and "thin" culture. It's a horrible message to send girls of any age and I'm glad I stopped when I did to focus on education and technology. Wouldn't advise anyone else to go near it. I also saw a LOT of mothers like SweetViolet's and felt so sorry for their daughters. My mother didn't push me, but didn't talk me out of it either. If I had a daughter I would try to talk her out of it -- and encourage her in sports or academia
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Trying to talk a child out of something tends to backfire, helping educate, explore all the angles, dangers, pitfalls,etc was much more helpful. I didn't encourage or discourage my daughter but I hoped by the time my daughter was of age she had enough info to make an informed decision.
She did, and while she was in college doing her business degree she started getting a portfolio together doing time for print. She had fun, she got a really nice portfolio together for free but after a year the novelty of modeling wore off, she found some of the attitudes in the biz appalling and she realized that being picked up by a reputable modeling agency wasn't going to happen. -
Oh, don't split silly semantic hairs. Obviously when I say "talk her out of it," having worked in the industry I KNOW first-hand the angles, dangers and pitfalls and would describe them. I also know the positives, the fun, the experience. Put them all together, I could write a book.
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I let my son do catalog work when he was younger, he and his dad also did Kodak ads for a bit when he was a toddler. Once he got bored with it and couldn't sit still, he stopped and that was fine too. -
My old roommate was an agent for child models and actors. She would talk about how horrid most of the parents were. She felt sorry for the kids.
She said the worst were the ones who gave up their careers to "manage" their child's careers. In Illinois, child actors and models are required by law to put their earnings into a trust to be held for them until they reach majority. The parents would skirt around this rule by putting themselves on salary in their child's "corporation." -
My sister was an extraordinarily talented singer. My parents weren't quite as bad as Violet's, but they did put other priorities on hold so that my sister could pursue her "God-given talent."
We were a large family, and my sister got more than her share of my parents' attention. It was a burden on her, I think. There is nothing like putting a child in high-pressure situations like that, where success/failure or approval/disapproval is so high-stakes.
The pressure proved to be too much for my sister. She worked briefly in New York after college, but wound up giving private voice lessons because she couldn't command major roles. Now, she has given up singing altogether.
I think as a parent now myself, I am cautious about singling out any one of my children as "the talented one." I let them follow their interests without pushing. My children have never been exposed to pageants or talent competitions, and I wouldn't foist that upon them. -
I would never let my daughter get into pagents, no matter how much she begged me. Lots of reasons.
I would allow infrequent local modeling but staying home and getting through high school is numero uno. -
Give d girl a life..let her live her life!!
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