Discussions
Would You Move for Love?
Posted by lotusb • 4/23/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: city, country, relationships
This is kind of me asking for advice, and also wanting to know what the general opinion on this might be:
Lets say your a city-girl (or boy) and you love someone who is a country boy (or girl), so you move there to be with them...
Now, let's say while there, after a few months pass by...you realize that you have nothing in common with the people there, little to do, nothing that stimulates you and on top of all that the person you moved for dosen't really seem to want the same things as you (say you love art and they love football).
Would you:
A) Leave before you find that you've become someone you dislike.
B) Stay and adjust to the new environment at the risk of feeling frustrated.
Or C) Some other answer that dosen't fit either of the above.
??
User Comments
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All relationships if they're worth the title require some sort of sacrifice. You accept the sacrifice you've made as a deposit towards the relationship going the distance.
If you have nothing in common with the person you made the sacrifices for - well you should have done your homework before doing anything.-
Lol...true. But "should have" dosen't really translate in my mind. I think in terms of "now what"....I've made plenty of mistakes, it's in my character to be impulsive. So I guess that just comes with me being me...
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I have two loves moving to Australia to stay with me... I guess the decisions were unwise-
This is an interesting comment James... LMAO!
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Talk to the other person and see if there is some kinda compromise about living somewhere. There are places that are kind of country but close enough to a big town or city. I am pretty adaptable but to move for somebody I would really have to be crazy in love. Haven't quite been there so I don't know
edit-as for the having nothing in common that can be ok but it depends on the couple. I have a hard time finding the right person because everybody becomes possessive of me and I can't handle that. I would be happy to be with somebody that didn't share all my interests it would be an excuse to do something apart
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Some crazy person said love conquers all but it doesn't conquer complete boredom and going out of your mind lunacy from being in a place that just isn't your speed. At the same time besides being impulsive I a sure there were other reasons you picked up and moved miles from everything you knew to be with this person. You have to conjure those feelings on the days when you're spazing out of your mind. No one ever said it was easy but you have to give it a serious go instead of balking at the first signs of difficulty. -
I'd be less concerned about the location and atmosphere, and more concerned about being with a person who doesn't seem to share your goals/interests.
Obviously, you can't expect to have all the same interests-- that would be boring. But if you can't find common ground on very much, that issue will follow you in the country or city... and is probably not likely to get better over time. -
Yes, I would. -
Nothing on this earth would move me to the country - not love, income or health. I am a city person, and need to be right next to the beach.
It is important that, if you don't see yourself thriving amongst the cows and wheat fields, you don't move there!
However if you have already moved to the country and find you don't like it, move back to your city as soon as possible. Save your sanity. Stop your mind from going numb. You won't like yourself, or your partner, if you stay in an unhappy situation.
Find some other way of getting together with your partner eg alternative weekends in each other's home. -
I would move for love, real love, not just passion, but a deep connectedness with someone that was a soul mate. I wouldn't move quickly but would weigh out everything before I go. It sounds like this was a bit impulsive. If yes, and it was me, I may just return home to family, friends and familiarity. Good luck. -
i personally have never done so and don't plan on it. with that said, i couldn't really give you an informed advice, since i don't have that kind of experience. but being who i am, i would answer, with little hesitation, a resounding A. get the hell out of there! never be with someone in a place you don't like because it'll only result in resentment. that's something you'll have to live with and chances are, it'll rear its ugly head; the longer, the uglier; and in the end, it's unfair for you and the other person. -
careful -
if you really love each other, then you have to adjust both. It's hard if you're still in the period of adjustment but you can get used to it. -
Love = Risk. If you are willing to take it than do it.
However, if the situation isn't what you expected then at least you can say you gave it a shot and go with option A.
Just because you lost a lover doesn't mean you have to lose a friend. -
Trust your gut...go with the flow...enter with an open mind and open heart and keep it that way..stay open in the flow..the answers will come easily..Enjoy the weekend...Rock On!!!! -
If you're already there - what is it that attracted you to the person in the first place?
If you're not in love still - then get out - period.
If you're still in love - work with it and make it happen.
You can keep yourself busy - you can join classes or do things online... You can make yourself happy.
If he/she is willing to work with you - then you get double the luck. Do things together.
Be honest - explain that you're not entirely happy with the way that things are - and you'd like some things to change - does he/she have any suggestions that you could both come up with a plan?
If you're happy with the person, but not the environment - you can see if you can change the environment - or see if there are things that you need to give a chance to.
Honestly tho - if you're unhappy - move. But be sure you're not in love - be sure it's not just BOREDOM that you're lagging through...
Cause BOREDOM is a state of mind - that YOU CAN change. -
Sometimes we become defensive when we don't really get a chance to explore other lives and let those lives explore us. When we make up our minds with our first impressions, then surely there will be no room for discovery. We will be stuck in that mindset forever. So if you are a city girl and you have a pre-conceived notions about country life then that thought will just add up until you create a friction with people around you. They would also feel the same, embarrassed that they were not able to win you over. The thing I learned about country life( since I am from down south), is that simple folks would really go the distance to please you. Let him or them explore your world and do the same for them. You will realize that variety is the spice of life. -
I would do anything for TRUE LOVE as long as my soul mate believed in jesus,and didn't play mind games,and was totally honest,uh huh I would do anything for true love -
@ ww and celtic
If I could blend u 2 together and add a little of u kno who,and u kno who I would have my true love,but that is just wishful thinking-
LMAO.. well you can always add toppings and dip
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I won’t say never, but it is highly unlikely. Sure, if it’s within a four hour drive, but across country, no.
At first I misunderstood I thought you was talking about distance. -
Yes. If I truly loved the girl I would travel to the ends of the earth for her. -
- lol ... look at the date in the OP 4/23/09
FWIW LotusB already moved months ago-
GAL DANG IT TT! PORRRRRRRRQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!??????????!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!
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Ouch.
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We have been fooled! Mwahahahahaha
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Tehehehehahahaha
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Nice timethief. lol
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Off course If you don't then your not in love what a dumb question! -
Well lotus how did it turn out
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This is from months ago 4/23/09
Also if you click her username you will find this:
Last seen 1 day ago
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Well that's ok I just wanna see if she moved for love,and how it turned out
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- Why not post a PM into her shoutbox or I would locate the contact information on her blog and contact her directly?
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Well somebody bumped the thread,why not ask her right here?
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- It's okay. Go ahead and keep bumping the thread to the top of the forum if you want to, but do understand that she's not signed in. That's what I pointed out to you above. And it's why I suggested leaving her a shout or using the contact info on the blog.
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Well dang tt it ain't that big of a deal honey dew. Really I was trying to figure out who resurected the thread,and why.
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hello dear,i am very tierd about love!,and my people like eat,drink,sleep,fun,and love,but you take a time you understand them ! -
I did it already -
from experience: After we got married, D. and I moved to the south for a bit. I hated it, he loved it. he had a great $ job, i stayed home and went to school. he loved it, i hated it. but I was happy with him and now, we are back here. i have moved for love and he has moved for love because i wanted to be here. I would do it again and we might (since that company wants him so bad!) i say ask him to go back with you if you are miserable. i did and it worked.-
This thread is MAD old. I already moved (for love) and moved out (because love is not enough) and am still here until the end of the year, when I plan to go back (for school).
Updates are FUN.
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yes I would.... -
I don't even move for the remote so that's a no.-
Lol...
Long time no see FP.
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