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Crap Superpowers

Posted by Static • 6/13/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS]
Topics: crap, fail, funny, humor, humour, linkage, lists, lols, superpowers, useless superpowers

Super duper useless superpowers are what makes any superhero wannabe a super dud.

Here are some examples of EPIC FAIL powers that anyone would be ashamed of:
superuselesssuperpowers.com/

Or here are some others:
*Power to detect how many more licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
*Ability to run slowly.
*Ability to cut onions without crying.
etc.

If you had a super duper useless superpower, what would it be and why? Come up with some creative ones, maybe they can be sent to and added to the list.

If I had one, I think it would be the power to shape shift, but I could only turn into a lawn flamingo and a block of Velveeta cheese. imilkitfrommyteat.ytmnd.com/

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User Comments

  1. 6/15/09
    7masterheathen
    I would go with the super duper useless ability of being able to be only semi-transparent, at will. Reason: So I can scare the shit out of people. They'll think I'm a ghost.

    Or

    The ability to hover (upright position) 2 inches over the ground wherever I go so I don't have to walk. Reason: Because I've got painful heel spurs in my feet. Come to think of it- Both of these powers would go together quite well in freaking the shit out of people.
    [reply]
    1. 6/15/09
      Static
      Well, since winter I'm willing to bet you have lost last years tan and are pretty pale, so you might pass for a ghost. As for the hovering thing..you can always get a pair of roller skates and float by people with your pale self and see if that freaks the shit out of people. ?

      =P
  2. 6/16/09
    surveygirl46
    My superpower would be the power to BORE people to death: With one look in my direction they start yawning and making bipedal detours towards the drunk with the paper bag trying to climb back into his dumpster, and failing. I would use this superpower to counterattack any police raids on my house by telling the nice policemen who break down my door ALL about my hemmorroids or better yer, stymie the IRS audit systems with my powers, and all of a sudden they don't care about my returns one FIG.....(wait! I have that power NOW!) and I'm OFF!!!!!
    [reply]
    1. 6/16/09
      Static
      That's an interesting superpower, but not totally useless. It sounds pretty handy actually.
  3. 6/16/09
    surveygirl46
    Yeah, and ya know? Come to think of it at least 50% of the sad saps in the world already have it, PLUS the superpower of invisibility - they don't KNOW what they got!!!
    [reply]
    1. 6/17/09
      Static
      Pfft..LOSERS!
  4. 10/11/09
    Cindi
    Post-monition: the ability to see into yesterday.
    Auto-telepathy: The ability to read ones own mind.
    Blind-control: The ability to telekinetically raise and lower your window blinds.
    Stup-lication: The ability to project highly ignorant versions of yourself. (wait-- isn't that what a lot of bloggers do?)
    [reply]
    1. 10/11/09
      Static
      I believe I possess the last super power you mentioned.
      I seem to project highly ignorant versions of myself when I am trying to make "good impressions" on my readers.

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