Planet Krapsody
What's the funniest thing you can do with a cripple?
Posted by 7masterheathen • 6/15/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS]
Topics: cripple, funny, things to do when bored
I was just wondering. I ran out of ideas a few weeks ago.
User Comments
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Push them down a flight of stairs?
Tie their shoelaces together then yell 'fire!'???-
That reminds me of a joke:
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair? Park and Ride. -
No, that's how you MAKE people INTO cripples, silly. THEN you can do all those other things.
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This is BAD and I'll probably get this comment VAN!UISHED but here goes: What do you do when your done eating your vegetables? Put them back in their wheelchairs....BAD I KNOW, but Static emailed me this joke and told me to post it....Sorry...-
You left out one important detail.. how did they taste?
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GREATEST. JOKE. EVER.
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like they came from the dollar store....just like you said they would:)
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BURN!
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Sickos! I'm mortified, I tell ya. Just mortified. Cripples should be treated with respect. I value my personal cripple. It crawls out the door every morning to fetch me my paper and I hardly ever have to use the whip on it.
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Gee, yours is trained well.
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I think the funniest thing to do to some one that is crippled is let them stand in an amusement park ride and don't strap them in when they get on.
...well I THINK that is HELLA FUNNY...lol -
That's a sweet idea. I have a good friend that's crippled. I'll try that next time with him. That will be amusing. Thanks.
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This topic is...so...depraved.
We're all quite the special olympians.-
ANd we have a REALLY cool SHORT BUS
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...but delightfully so. Nothing like retard and cripple jokes to brighten one's spirits.
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Taking both those remarks into consideration, somehow I think the National Organization on Disability would have fun crippling teh Heathen Master and Survey Gal financially, and retarding their future economic progress.
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Ok one more joke: on the prostitute side
Two hookers are walking down the street. One says to the other, "So, have you ever been picked up by the FUZZ?
The other goes, "NO, but I've been twirled around by the tits a few times" LOLOLOLOLOLOLO Get's me every time....-
Twirled by the titties? Can that be done with a cripple?
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Only if he/she is a crippled prostitute with a pair of teats that hang to their knees.
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I forgot. You can rape a cripple. That's loads of fun.
I especially like club feet and hunchbacks. And if they have both,then hoowee! =D -
Funniest thing you can do with a cripple?
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It goes without saying that we should pick on those with any handicap, including communication disorders.
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Advertise the wheel chair bound women as Wheel Chair lap dancers at the leper colony?
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That's certainly another way.
Here's another way to poke fun, by blasting child obesity.
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Put the toilet paper on the top shelf?-
Of course, but this would naturally occur after leaving them only one square, right?
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The offspring of Bobby Lee and the Michelin Tire Man?
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Yes.
Wait! You did mean Kanye, right?
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I used to have nightmares about the Michelin Man... but that was way before Vodka...
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So now you just have hallucinations of pink Michelin Men that dress and act like Kanye West, and smell like elephant shit?
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Jesus is a DICK!
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Or how about the following usually nice gestures that just don't quite send the right message to the crippies:
1. Buy them a bicycle
2. Buy them a gym membership
3. EVERY YEAR, for their birthday, give them the Led Zeppelin "Stairway to Heaven" CD. They'll get the hint.
4. For a quadriplegic, invest in experimental stem cell treatments to regain feeling in one teeny tiny part of their body. Once successful, inject an itch-inducing chemical in that part of their body. Now the only feeling they will have below their neck will be an itch that they cannot scratch.
5. Take them to see Great Mesoamerican Step Pyramids in Mexico. Climb the steps and leave them waiting for you at the bottom for several hours.
6. Invite him out for a nature hike. Tell him that you think he'll be able to keep up with you. About 10 minutes into it, say that he's holding you back, and tell him to go back and wait for you by the car.
7. Buy him a subscription to a popular motorcycle magazine.
8. Watch a recording of the 2008 ParaOlymics. Wait for THIS scene to occur:
When this scene eventually occurs, laugh. Laugh harder than you ever have in your entire life. Don't stop laughing, not in 10 minutes, 20...30... Laugh for at LEAST 3 hours straight. Or until he leaves.
9. Call him up the next day after #8. Say that you're sorry and that you were completely wrong to laugh the way that you did...then start laughing. Start laughing harder than you ever have in your entire life...-
You are a sick, sick, man. Do you steal candy from babies and rob and beat up old ladies for fun?
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Actually, I hadn't thought of that...though now that you mention it, I'd rather rob candy from old ladies and beat up babies. It's just better that way!
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That's....BRILLIANT!
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