Planet Krapsody
Who's The Next Fast Food Restaurant Icon To Go Ass-Up?
Posted by Static • 7/03/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS]
Topics: Adult Humor, burger, clown, comedy, fast food, king, lols, parodies, satire, spoofs
Will it be:
That red-headed rock 'n roll deviant The Burger King?
red-headed pervy old scumbag Ronald McDonald?
or Wendy the red-headed subliterate burger whore?
I see a pattern emerging here...can't imagine what it is.
User Comments
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The way I see it, it's gonna go down like this:
Ronald's going first. He's the stupidest. He's also the most annoying and least dangersous of the three. In fact if he was italien and "mob" born so to speak his own godfather would have publically whacked him himself and the Feds wouldn't have even charged him with homicide - he is that stupid! A lose cannon.
And he scares kids cuz they have an Uncle Peter just like him at home, only he dresses in Aunt Tillys clothes when she's gone.
The Wendy's BurgerWhore - She's next. I mean EVERYONE loves a whore, especially one that feeds you tasty burgers. But she's been spreading more than her secret sauce around lately and...it's just time.
The Burger King -....I'll get back to you on that one; he's crafty...and gives splinters from behind...-
I agree that Ronald is going, but not first. McDonald's needs a new mascot, however I don't think that a replacement will happen easily. That clown has been a central figure of the fascist McDonald's rat-meat grinding regime and he can only be toppled in a bloody coup de grace.
I believe The Burger King will go first. Being a recent addition to pop-culture anti-hero status, Burger King itself, with it's part freak show, have-it-your-way gallery, part think-tank herd-like mentality, and a dash of mad is just steps away from being completely forgotten about.
Besides BK has always been viewed as a second-class citizen in the fast food world. But I actually think their food tastes better than their competitors.
Besides suffering the "red haired stepchild" syndrome under various conglomerates, BK has its share of high-profile failures on the menu, most of which aren't any more healthy for you than these other instant gratification food chains.
Its flagship hamburger, The Whopper, doesn't have the attention that the Big Mac does. Unlike McDonald's, Burger King has always been viewed as a second-class citizen in the fast-food world. BK stock finally went public on May 18, 2006, to which no one gives a shit. They have mowed down thousands of South American jungle to make room for their bovine meat farms, and raided many a funeral home for their Soylent Green meaty blend.
The only winner here is clearly, Wendy's. I tell you anyone would take a reasonably cute redhead female that smells of onion rings and fryer grease over any of the other freaks mentioned here. Dave's little girl is all grown up and ready to knead some meat. With hair dyed redder than a hookers stoplight, I think she is here to stay.
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I may have underestimated the power of the p****; you're right, especially the way she brings the boys to the yard with her vanilla milkshakes. I guess Ronald does have the backing of the fast food version of old money - old meat. And maybe Burger King has been too wild without any success to justify his continued existence, well maybe they'll let him go out "his way".
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I think they should get in line for the new "Celebrity Death Stimulus" bill.
www.ryangarns.com/archives/article_070509.php -
p.s. I think those were "chocolate" milkshakes you were referring to.
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Yes...Our choices for their eradication are becoming...interesting...to say the least these days...
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Care to place a few bets?
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Chocolate/vanilla isn't p***** universal?
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I suppose. But some flavors are better than others.
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It gets worse.
A recent article at Cracked.com reviews 9 Toys That Prepare Children For a Life of Menial Labor.
Bottom of the list? The McDonald's Fry Station Playset.
www.cracked.com/article_17545_9-toys-that-prepare-children-life-menial-labo...
Gee...If only they made this 20 years ago, to prepare all the workers who were laid off during the recent economic crisis...they might have been more prepared for a second career in the fast food industry. -
Yah, now the fast food industry won't hire you unless you have the prerequisite number of blackheads on your face...
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..and pimples on your arse.
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Can most customers tell the difference?
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Not really. Half the time, you don't know if you're talking to their ass or their face..or if they are making the food with their hands or their ass.
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And in either case for some reason the food always tastes like ass....
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That's because it's composed of 99.9% ass..and .1% frumunda cheese.
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Isn't all cheese frumunda?
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Only when harvested from my own batch.
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OK EEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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That looks like a "Presto 99" Walmart velvet hackey sack mini punching bag combo that anyone (including a cat) can purchase at all walmart superstores for UNDER 5 dollars - so i think that's a FAKE picture to begin with.
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You sound like a "Presto 99" Walmart velvet hackey sack mini punching bag combo that anyone (including a cat) can purchase at all walmart superstores for UNDER 5 dollars - expert.
So do they feel real?
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Good thing I read the rest of the sentence; i almost stopped at "punching bag" and was going to ask how you knew my ex husband LOL
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Because I punched him in the balls?
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No, i wanted to know where you found his balls...LOL
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Well, that's silly. Where else would you "find" his balls?
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The "BALL"room?
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That's a likely spot. Perhaps if they're cultured balls, they can also be found at the "ball"et?
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