THE FIVE ELEMENTS: all truths revealed
Why do People Act Mean Towards Others?
Posted by thefiveelements • 4/15/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS]
Topics: God, humanity, philosophy, religion, Spirituality, the 5 elements, theology, truths
Often people act nasty toward others to feel good about themselves due to their insecurity. Sometimes the reason can be envy, racism, arrogance, or just being a victim of ignorance. Are there other reasons people act nasty toward others? YOUR THOUGHTS
User Comments
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People who act mean toward other people have a secret dislike for themselves. I find that often times, the things that bother people so much about others is the same things they themselves are feeling.
I try to be tolerant of nasty people if I can. They are so often fighting their own demons. If I can't be tolerant and understanding then I just igonore them. Being nasty or mean to them in return serves no purpose except to reinforce their dislike for the human race.-
I absolutely agree
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They see love as a finite resource therefore they want to keep as much as they can for themselves and not give any away. People are mean because they are trying to protect the love that they have. -
I agree. I think people have the tendency to project that which they do not like in themselves onto others, and to proclaim those inadequacies to make themselves feel superior to others. -
As a Holocaust author and researcher, I appreciate a thorough examination of morality. Repugnance, despair and darkness exist within human nature. Holocaust victims were faced with the most perfidious forces; deceit, brutality, cruelty, sickness, starvation and the death of loved-ones were the daily companions of concentration camp prisoners. How did so many people go along with this horrific plan? How could millions more turn their backs to the immorality of exterminating an entire religious group? We therefore learn nothing about ourselves if we do not examine this part of our psyche.
It is safe to say that large portions of the European population in the early 20th century disliked Jews. Pogroms were ubiquitous and largely ignored by society. Jews were significantly mistrusted, disliked and ostracized. They were the butt of jokes and the subject of innuendo. Why did so many Europeans hate Jews? How could so many people find it easy to hate millions whom that had never met? Were they automatons, eagerly lapping up propaganda drivel proffered by Nazis? Or, were they intelligent humans, with the capacity to comprehend nuances of their society’s actions and still reach the conclusion that Jews were bad people who deserved to be rounded up, incarcerated and annihilated?
We are complex beings. I believe that there is a great deal more to us than the ubiquitous battleground of good versus evil. Most of us are not one or the other, but both. We are beautiful and ugly, soothing and terrifying, brutal and caring; we love and we despise. Unlike animals, humans are governed by principles and moral beliefs. We are not clouded by delusions of morality, but governed by them. So what brings a person to despise a stranger? Why do some people hate and fear those who are different in color, religion or ethnic origin? Why do so many people find it easier to hate than to tolerate?
My instinct tells me that people acquire racism because they were taught to hate, by parents, siblings, relatives, friends or any other portion of their social network. At some point in their lives, they learned to hate from people close to them. And, they continue to hate without questioning the veracity of their hatred. Being recognized as a bigot makes some individuals popular with desired social groups. Research reveals that a high percentage of racists are poorly educated. Yet, not all racists are ignorant or mentally slow. And, while many people are taught to be bigoted as children, some acquire it later in life, despite having a tolerant social network in their youth.
Could we be little different from the last vestiges of our primordial ancestors? Like many animals, humans originally had to fight and control others in order to maintain superiority. Perhaps the need to be superior is an innate mental mechanism, acquired biologically. This suggests that Darwinism could be a factor, although it may be impossible to prove. Evolution teaches us that we are governed by the principle of survival of the fittest. Is human behavior dominated by an inborn fear of others? Is social responsibility, tolerance and compassion simply an aberrant acquired social behavior, employed most often by liberals and religionists? Are the better angels of our conscience nothing more than bizarre adaptations to our dark survival instinct?
I believe that people find it easier to hate because tolerance requires effort. Haters live with haters, in a community of malevolence. The more they hate, the more they are approved by their social group. Toleration would brand the hater as the enemy - the enemy being everyone who is different. This is an endless, vicious cycle, guaranteed to generate bigoted progeny.
But, we can break the bonds of bigotry one person at a time, with education, conversation and engagement across all media. We can use the Internet’s social networking and web sites sites to our advantage. We can fight the innate fear of others by demonstrating compassion for the individual, regardless of milieu. We can promote the value of each person as a unique entity, with unlimited potential, rather than a member of a religious or social entity, with preconceived expectations. This is tolerance of the individual soul. Only when we make the effort to understand and value the differences among us will racism and bigotry end. Only when we accept the value of each person, regardless of background, will our culture grow to be meaningful and rewarding.
Fear may be at the heart of racism and bigotry. We fear that which we do not understand. We fear anyone who might be perceived as better than we are. We therefore use the tools of bigotry to become superior to others. Our fear drives us to prove that we are better than the “others” are. It feels good to be superior. Yet, in order for one person to feel superior, another must be subjugated. In order to feel better, we must dominate someone. The easiest way to dominate is to hate those who are not a threat. And, it feels to make them live in fear. We rationalize the minimization of our fear by inflicting greater fear on the victim. If they are inferior, we must be better. We climb upon their social cadaver in order to feel superior.
Racism, hatred, intolerance and bigotry are the artifacts of fear. Eliminate fear and there will no longer be a need to use the tools of bigotry. This is our challenge. We must convince the haters that they have no reason to fear minorities. This is the greatest and most noble challenge of our generation. The reward for success is tolerance, respect and mutual recognition. We can share our planet together as equals. This will be our legacy.
But, if we fail, our children will inherit a world dominated by the dark angels of our nature. If we fail, our progeny will be doomed to a life surrounded by fear, suspicion, hatred and death. We cannot end our generation sharing the same values as our early 20th century European ancestors had. We can and must be better than that. We must evolve into a tolerant society. Our children’s future depends upon it.
Charles Weinblatt
Author, "Jacob's Courage"-
Charles, please read my post of Sunday, April 12 on my personal blogsite. www.outofadramaqueensmind.blogspot.com
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Charles, your post is a good read. I enjoy this thread.
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It is because of the environment where they are brought up and obviously all the elements mentioned by you were there. -
Mean is as Mean does...people are mean to others for exactly the same reason they are nice...they want something. That something is no more and no less than what the person believes they lack...after all you cannot want for what you already have....it is our desire for completion and wholeness and seek it through attack in a mean or nice way on those which we believe possess that which we seek. Plainly stated there is no difference between the terms regarding intent...only in the method of achieving our intent. The only error here is our perception of seperation and lack....Please read "Balance of Creation" at www.worldwide-evolution.com one of the older posts...explains in a more metaphysical sense anyway...
Thanks for the opportunity....TRex-
@ Timrex: With all respect for your understanding about the topic, mean and nice have nothing in common. Mean and nice are two different elements, and when they are applied, they produce opposite results. One who has no regard for others and one who is serving the greater good for others are two individuals with different perspectives in life.
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I struggle with this question in my own family. I am the youngest of twenty children in a family overflowing with abuse, hatred, shame and blame. I am 55 now and have written my memoir.
From my experience these past two years, after returning to "home territory" after many years estranged, I find in some siblings a hatred
more malevolent than any I had seen before in my life.
1. I was not the frightened rabbit I was when I left. I was bold and outspoken. I stood up to those who had always ruled the pack. When they failed to silence me they became filled with fear of the unknown. And fear of their own long buried and horrendous skeletons.
2. I believe, as it has helped me in my life, that self examination is the key to self development. This is opposite of what we lived in our family. Sadly, many of the older ones still feel the best way to happiness is to load their "junk" on someone else. Admit no wrong. I no longer made an easy scapegoat. Blame, ridicule, and hatred are the order of the day for these people
"We cannot end our generation sharing the same values as our early 20th century European ancestors had. We can and must be better than that. We must evolve into a tolerant society. Our children’s future depends upon it."
Charles, my parents were born at the turn of the last century, my father in 1899 and mother in 1907. I grew up in 1953 on a little farm dominated by outdated values. I wrote my memoir for the purpose of passing on to my descendants a picture of the effects, and eventually the recovery from that life.
I learned intolerance, ridicule, blaming, hatred, bigotry, and to shut others out as though they did not exist if they did not conform to my "right" thinking.
It has been only by examining the light and dark sides of me, and the maze of gray area in between that I have come to have compassion for others. (also for myself)
Yet just two days ago I said "I hate her." about one of my sisters whose venomous words have ripped through my heart so many times these past two years. In that moment I truly hated her. She had done it again. Today I am back to compassion, though I will keep my distance better.
This sister was "Mother's only child," as one aunt put it. She was in training for her position in the family from toddler on up. To her I am a horrid little maggot who dared stand my ground with her.
She will not forgive that and is doomed to ending her life in hatred.
I am no expert on anything. Not even on me, for I have more to live and learn. But I am sure the best thing I can offer my children is the best truth I can muster up about me instead of hiding behind hatred and blame and prejudice or the idea that we must never let it be known we made mistakes and bad decisions or at times cruelly treated smaller, weaker people.
One last thing. I remember very clearly wishing I had a baby brother when I was a small child. I wanted someone I could beat up and abuse as was done to me. I am not ashamed of that thought or afraid to admit it happened. All it means is that I am human. I feel very fortunate indeed that I did not grow up to be a "monster." -
There is no need to begin with a patron comment...Mean and Nice are not different...they are simply two sides of one element..that IS the fundamental truth which is misunderstood. This is the separation at its finest...good and evil...day and night..wrong or right...the struggle. Truth reveals that there is no separation....the separation occurs in the mind...your comment illustrates this perfectly. Yen and Yang are one and the same. Neither could exist without the other...drop one concept and there is no need for the other...they both perish....truth returns. When light enters darkness fades...
TRex -
Janeen is speaking about balance after exploring what appears to be two extremes...she simply found balance between them. Please note...her meanness led to goodness...Ahhhhh the center were all things exist together....balance....peaceful isnt it...like having a left and right arm stop fighting one another and work together....
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One who is knowledgeable or seeking for knowledge is one who is willing to admit when they are wrong or what they do not know, unlike those who are trapped or being consumed by the arrogance of intellectualism.
Good & Evil serve completely opposite purpose. There is no Good in Evil & there is no Evil in Good just, as Light Cannot project darkness, and darkness cannot produce light. Harming someone is the opposite of Loving someone. Now, if you still want to challenge these basic truths, it would be wasting time to continue this discussion with you.
Here is a link for more detail
thefiveelementsalltruthsrevealed.blogspot.com/2009/01/dakness-within-religi...
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Actually I think you just proved my point..... it is amazing how one projects their sense of lack / anger onto others without realizing what is happening.....two things are going on here.
First, you want me to say what you WANT!
Secondly, you need the affirmation because of a personal event which needs understanding...
I could interpret your response to me as Mean..but do not because I recognize your plea for understanding....so convert the response to Nice...
You apparently need to understand why someone did what they did...? Dont we all....!? Peace will come when you find balance..it can happen in an instant or never...we are our own fulcrum. Yen and Yang depend upon one another to survive....in balance they are one. Sadness comes when we choose it...happyness returns when we let go of sadness...
Happy is the reality....sadness the illusion. What I am saying is this....We are mean when we choose sadness...Nice returns when we let go of the need for sadness... "Mean" is our own creation and separation from Nice...but separation is in truth impossible..you cannot separate the thought from the thinker..cause from effect ...let go of the anger...peace will return. I struggle with it too....
True forgiveness does not recognize the illusion...
TRex-
@TimeRex: People have different levels of understanding, and for that reason we agree & disagree on issues even on a basic level. It is ok for people to disagree as long as they don’t hate each other for it or want to kill one another for it.
The purpose of this Group is to share thoughts in a respectful manner that would bring understanding to one another. If you are here for a different purpose, you are not welcome. I will not engage in hostile discussions with you, because it would be disrespecting members of the group and I am not about to do that.
So, if you want to engage in hostility with this discussion, we have posted the same thread on the general discussion forum, you can take it there.
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So many of us search for the solution to life's problems. Yet, there might not be "a" solution. What if life presents a polarity to be managed, rather than a problem that can be solved? Instead of controlling life, think of managing the range of emotions that life's events arouse within us. We love, hate, fear, detest, covet and desire. Yet, those emotions are simply reactions to events within our minds. We do not need to forgive, only to comprehend. We do not need to resolve as much as recognize.
Peace is the absence of anxiety and fear. We can control our minds. We evolve by way of negating our fears and preconceived notions. Those whom we are taught to hate might in reality be innocent. It is therefore our duty to question our preconceotions and bigotry. Instead of hating a minority group in order to gain approval from the bigots, we should evlauate each relationship based upon its merits and faults. After all, it is illogical to hate those we don't know. -
CWeinbl... EXACTLY !
Another way of putting it but YES !...a primary point you make..."Peace being the absence of anxiety and fear" This IS the key!
Our natural state is one of peace...our unnatural state is fear. The unnatural state is induced by a perception of lack or doubt. This perception is born out of the belief that "Nothingness" is possible and real. This then promulgates our separation...from God...from Eden..from each other... We now percieve everything separate with multiple possibilities because our faith in creation is split..the struggle begins. In truth there is only one possibility...peace born from our faith in love as God created and intended. The suggestion of doubt entered into our collective minds via the symbolic event when Eve and Adam were seduced into separation by the suggestion there was something they did not know..that they were incomplete..something they did not have...or know...some knowledge held in the iconic manna. Their consumation of this suggestion lives in us today..the knowledge gained from the fruit was separation....we believe that we are separate and alone...apart from our creator...in truth we are as God created us..our free will allows for the mind to manifest this illusion but cannot usurp Gods will. IT is a painful journey when we choose to place our faith in illusions apart from Gods design...Evil or loss of peace represents the effect of our decision...one we are faced with at every turn...forgiveness is our unwillingness to bear witness that the illusion is real..and acceptance of Gods plan. So at each opportunity in life we are challenged to make another choice..to bear witness to our reality..place no faith in fear or doubt.
Return attack with loving responses....we then bear witness to God..who then is remembered and made manifest. At this point all perceptions of duality Good or Evil...Mean or Nice..cease as there will be no purpose for them.
Revelation revealed within the context of time...
TRex -
I am not aware of any hostility in my posts....in fact ..I am not aware of any hostility in our purpose or discussions.
TRex -
Hello all:
Thank you for the invitation.
I just joined this group, and this was one of the first discussion I read, due to its relation to a post I recently placed on my blog:
tiny.cc/RUDEpeople
Now, this post has a humorous tone on how to deal with rude people, so not as philosophical as the responses here. I do plan, however, to read this discussion thoroughly and then provide my own philosophical representation.
Angela -
Perception and Misunderstanding. That is what I believe to be a fairly common reason for people to act mean towards others. Let me explain. In my opinion most people are generally nice people, or at least their intentions aren't bad. That said, a person who is mean to another individual usually has a false perception of what that individual thinks about himself. In other words, if you have a mindset that everyone is out to get you then you are going to be quick to react to people in a mean way.
Also, There is a natural reflex to be mean to someone who you perceive as being rude and mean to you. It could be a simple statement and a look that is misinterpreted as being the complete opposite of what the person meant, which can easily happen when you are in that mindset as stated above. Miscommunication, verbal and non-verbal, is a big reason why it can be tough to get along with some people.
This is just my idea of what I think to be one of the most common reasons for people to be mean to others. Another reason worth mentioning is the fact that a lot of people have chemical imbalances, bi-polar disorders, myself included, which can result in the same way as I have been writing about.
What do you think? I'm interested to see if anyone else has similar opinions. Or if you're thinking something totally different, I'm always open to other perspectives.
- Ken -
Ken...Bingo!
To your statement I can only repeat a line from a previous comment I made....
Our natural state is one of peace...our unnatural state is fear. The unnatural state is induced by a perception of lack or doubt. This perception is born out of the belief that "Nothingness" is possible and real. This then promulgates our separation...from God...from Eden..from each other... We now percieve everything separate with multiple possibilities because our faith in creation is split..the struggle begins.
TRex -
Often people act mean towards others because of their own upbringing and socioeconomic environment. I truly believe that if you are raised to dislike others because of what they look like, how much money a person makes, and so on this is what will come out of your mouth and actions towards others. This also shows me personally, from a mother's point of view and parent, that I be mindful of everything I say or do everyday. You never know how much what you may say or do to another human being can affect the rest of their lives or just their day. -
I think it is because our egos are basically dysfunctional.It was recently proved in an experiment that a normal person is capable f inflicting pain and suffering on another person, if he is sure that he is not going to be caught and punished.
So that kind of explains the atrocities against the jews and other atrocities that mankind has inflicted on fellow human beings across cultures and countries.
But the question is how is it possible? A lion never eats a lion. Is it possible that the pain and suffering we inflict, is a reflection of our own pain?
Would a happy person, ever cause injury to another person through his deeds or words?
Let's ask ourselves.
book-marq.blogspot.com
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