Political Discussions
Let's cap and trade oxygen!
Posted by anticsrocks • 7/08/09 • Subscribe to this Discussion [RSS] • Report This Topic
Topics: cap and trade, co2, o2, obama, tax and kill
I found this blog piece by James Lewis. Very funny and I wanted to share it with you all. (especially you, Ruinous and sati) 
Enough already with carbon cap and trade. I say let's cap oxygen, and then tax any family that can't achieve the Average Family Oxygen Target of 80% BOOTS (Before Obama Oxygen Trading Scheme). Remember, if you weren't inhaling all that O2 you wouldn't be belching out clouds of noxious CO2. Yuck. Yes, I know oil refineries smell bad and coal looks dirty. But none of that carbon would ever see the light of day if it weren't for all the oxygen you suck in, you greed bucket. So let's get down to root causes.
Here's the goal. If we can only get five billion people around the world to breathe 20% less oxygen per person, we would Save the Planet from Global Warming. Just like that!
Twenty percent less O2 going into your body means 20% less CO2 out-gassing, atom-for-atom. It's just like cutting down the world population by a billion polluting oxygen hogs.
Capping oxygen is actually the hardest part. Once you learn to cut down your intake, we just set up a market to trade official credits for the unbreathed O2 that you could have inhaled but didn't. Let's assume for the sake of planetary computer modeling that you can personally cut down your breathing by 20%. Try it! Just hold your nose and breathe through a straw. And when you get that strangled feeling, just remember you're Saving the Planet. Lay back and think of Paul Krugman.
Did you ever want to lose weight? This is the ecologically responsible way to do it. It's the Oxygen Sparing Diet. If you breathe just one-fifth less oxygen you'll be eating one-fifth less food, because your body uses all that oxygen to metabolize your French fries and fat-burgers. The benefits are out of this world.
Now here's the free market angle. Congress can pass a law stating that if you achieve more than the mandated National O2 Reduction of 20% you will receive an official US Government Oxygen Trading Credit for all the oxygen you did not breathe beyond 20%. It's like price supports for farmers, except that everybody can play. For instance, if you cut your O2 down by 25% you receive a 5% Oxygen Trading Credit, to sell to your huffing and puffing neighbors on a free market basis. If you breathe 30% less, you get a 10% OTC. It's supply and demand!
Or consider this option: For the average family of five --- two adults, two kids and a dog --- just get rid of a family member. You can start by getting rid of your dog. Do you have any idea how much oxygen a running dog breathes? Do your Planet a favor, please. And once you get the hang of it...
Even cars breathe oxygen to burn gasoline. Cut your driving by 20% --- after all, you won't need to drive now that you're breathing less --- and not only will you cut carbon pollution, but you can slice even more off your greedy Oxygen Excess. And don't forget that you can sell all your Oxygen Trading Credits to your O2-hogging neighbors.
Once you get used to cutting down your O2 you'll like yourself a lot better. The Planet will thank you. So will your neighbors.
Try it if you don't believe it. Breathe in just a little bit less every single day, until you're down 10%, then 15%, 20% ... and more? You could actually build your income from the Oxygen Trading Credits if you manage to cut down by 30% or even 40%. Just breathe through that straw and hold your nose.
Remember, Oxygen is Poison!
User Comments
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Ha! I didn't think anyone would comment on this one. Kinda makes the cap and trade system seem ridiculous.
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So why did you post it? I read a few of the articles by this James Lewis and he's a hate monger who's main argument is if you disagree with him, you're stupid. People like that are not funny, unless you think hatred is funny. -
Because I knew you couldn't resist trying to defame some part of it or the author. And guess what? You didn't let me down. You are so predictable.
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What are you talking about? Sati's only post here was asking why you posted it. First you say that you didn't think that anyone would comment on it. Then you say you posted it because you knew that Sati couldn't help commenting and attacking it.
If you continually disagree with yourself you will eventually be right. -
No I won't! Yes I will!
(hey, I'll have a future in the Democratic party if I keep this up!!) -
More like "we are the party of family values"
We like to cheat on our wives.
Before you try to misread above, I'm not saying democrats are any better at remaining faithful. They just don't claim party ownership of family values before they cheat.
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Well, considering it's a complete straw man, I'm not surprised that no one has commented.
No one has ever proposed capping and trading natural biological human body functions.
The proposal is about waste and emissions from industries (AKA, inanimate objects) that actually can reduce the amount of toxins and pollution they create.
But you and the author knew that already.-
"No one has ever proposed capping and trading natural biological human body functions."
You mean like what we breath? Dear, we breath out CO2...
I posted it to show the absurdity of calling CO2 a toxin. -
They are not capping and trading anything we breathe or exhale naturally.
They are capping and trading what non living entities spew into the air. And yes, co2 is toxic. Try breathing nothing but co2 in - or even just slightly elevated levels of it. You will first get dizzy, then pass out, and eventually die. That's toxic! -
Well, if you want to look at it THAT way. Sheesh!
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As long as we don't have to cap and trade spit -
Shhhh! You want Gore to hear that?!!
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That's what he said to Tipper before that famous smooch
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I think Al Gores goal in life is to eliminate the periodic table.-
I completely disagree with you.
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I think Al Gores goal in life is to eliminate the periodic table.
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I completely agree with you.
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I just wanted to see if anyone was paying attention.
And I can say both, jhix. I agree with you, Gore has his suspicions about oxygen.
And I disagree with you, Gore's main goal is to make as much money off global climate warming change as possible. He was worth $2 million when he left office as VP. He is now worth $100 million. And since the government will use his company to develop the software that keeps track of carbon emissions, he might rival Bill Gates in net worth.
Nah, global warming isn't a hoax. Gore takes it so seriously. He has to, I mean it is his bread and butter. -
Read it this morning. I didn't find it that funny, thought provoking or discussion provoking. It tried (and failed in my opinion) to attack cap and trade by foolish leaps in logic.
It wasn't really worth commenting on.-
Yet you did.
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Actually I was commenting on your comments about lack of comments. Your leap of no comments sort of supporting your views on cap and trade.
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And the comments you made about the lack of comments construe your interest in making comments.
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Comments are not capable of "construing". Only people can do that.
The fact of me having an interest in making comments isn't in question. I'm in the discussion area of BC because of my interest in making comments. Unfortunately the OP wasn't enough to attract comments, leading you to comment on the lack of comments, prompting me to comment on your comment regarding the lack of comments. -
"Comments are not capable of "construing"."
Sorry, I thought you were polybore and referring to yourself in the third person. So if I misconstrued that, I apologize.
But I was wondering if you would comment on the comment you made about not commenting when I said no one would comment? Or will you just stick with "No comment?"
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no comment
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Well, if the global warming deniers would take your advice to heart . . .
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