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Classic golf quotes-Hit it
Thoughts and Quotes | January 2nd 2010 by vegetarians
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook.. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. read more
Funny thoughts-Spouse
Thoughts and Quotes | December 30th 2009 by vegetarians
If you want a spouse who is smart, rich and devoted, you are going to have to get married three times. read more
Sexual quotes-Peak
Thoughts and Quotes | December 30th 2009 by vegetarians
“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”- Rita Rudner (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA) read more
Funny thoughts-Political views
Thoughts and Quotes | December 26th 2009 by vegetarians
People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. read more
Humor quotes-Invented
Thoughts and Quotes | December 25th 2009 by vegetarians
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. - Lee Trevino read more
Political quotes-Human nature
Thoughts and Quotes | December 23rd 2009 by vegetarians
A political convention is just not a place where you come away with any trace of faith in human nature. ~Murray Kempton read more
Humor quotes-Stupid
Thoughts and Quotes | December 21st 2009 by vegetarians
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."- George Carlin read more
Funny thoughts-Vitality
Thoughts and Quotes | December 18th 2009 by vegetarians
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them. read more
Humor quotes-Mutinies
Thoughts and Quotes | December 16th 2009 by vegetarians
Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.-Jack Handy read more
Funny thoughts-Nature's lesson
Thoughts and Quotes | December 15th 2009 by vegetarians
Nature does her best to teach us. The more we overeat, the harder she makes it for us to get close to the table. read more
Humor quotes-Bigger
Thoughts and Quotes | December 11th 2009 by vegetarians
“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”-Jack Handy read more
Classic golf quotes-Child in us
Thoughts and Quotes | December 11th 2009 by vegetarians
Golf appeals to the idiot and the child in us. Just how child like golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.- John Updike read more
Funny thoughts-Real life
Thoughts and Quotes | December 8th 2009 by vegetarians
One very fine thing about real life, it gets my mind off all that suffering on television. read more
Sarcastic quotes-Religion
Thoughts and Quotes | December 5th 2009 by vegetarians
"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man. living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these th read more
Funny thoughts-Conclusion
Thoughts and Quotes | December 4th 2009 by vegetarians
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. read more
Humor quotes-Abortion
Thoughts and Quotes | December 1st 2009 by vegetarians
"How come when it's us it's 'an abortion,' but when it's a chicken it's an omelet?"- George Carlin read more
Funny marriage quote
Thoughts and Quotes | November 30th 2009 by vegetarians
I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. read more
Sex quotes-Without being good
Thoughts and Quotes | November 23rd 2009 by vegetarians
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. - Jimmy DeMaret read more
Humor quotes-Bad attitude
Thoughts and Quotes | November 21st 2009 by vegetarians
"Something is wrong here: War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like read more
Marriage quotes-Curtains
Thoughts and Quotes | November 17th 2009 by vegetarians
In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! read more
Funny thoughts-High jumpers
Thoughts and Quotes | November 14th 2009 by vegetarians
High jumpers do well at the Olympics because it's always on a leap year read more
Golf quotes-Unanswered prayers
Thoughts and Quotes | November 12th 2009 by vegetarians
The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. - Billy Graham read more
Sarcastic quotes-Vote
Thoughts and Quotes | November 11th 2009 by vegetarians
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno read more
Funny thoughts-Pregnant
Thoughts and Quotes | November 8th 2009 by vegetarians
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. read more
Sexual quotes-Enough blood
Thoughts and Quotes | November 6th 2009 by vegetarians
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."- Robin Williams read more
Life-How
Thoughts and Quotes | November 6th 2009 by vegetarians
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams read more
Famous funny last words
Thoughts and Quotes | November 3rd 2009 by vegetarians
-> Hey that's not a violin.-> I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second.-> I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.-> You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you? read more
Humor quotes-Marriage definitions
Thoughts and Quotes | November 2nd 2009 by vegetarians
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat. read more
Funny thoughts-President
Thoughts and Quotes | October 30th 2009 by vegetarians
In America any boy may become President & I suppose its just one of the risks he takes. read more
Funny thoughts-Defining a bachelor
Thoughts and Quotes | October 26th 2009 by vegetarians
1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.3) A man who never makes the same mistake once.4) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.5) A person who belie read more
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