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Tag Search Results For 'pointless shit' (54)

Reduced Fat Cheez-its Can Suck My Presidential Cock

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | 17 hours ago by Hans Birkelstein

They're called CHEEZ-its, not NOTHING-its. Goddammit.I was going through some old files today, and came across this guided assignment from Creative Writing class. It made me ashamed of many things.I have to go to class and discuss travel literature. read more

Message to Utah

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | August 27th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

So some of you may or may not know, but I am on my way to california for school. We drove all day yesterday and ended up in Sterling, CO. (No i couldn't find any of this). On the way we drove through nebraska. Had a rousing 2 sightings of cattle ranc read more

Ha!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | August 19th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Serves you right, you frankenstein fuck! read more

Storm's a brewin'

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | August 15th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

I swear this is just a coincidence that this is my second ms paint endeavor about gingerearmuffs in two days. I just saw this one on the news, was incredibly bored, and couldn't resist. I know it's pitiful, but I did it on my mom's really old lapto read more

Semi-Large Update: Part One

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | August 13th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

I haven't briefed you folks in a while, so that's what I'm gonna do.Item the first: The summer is nearly at an end. What does that mean? It means I'll have about the same amount of time to post, and will have negligible affects on how this blog is ru read more

I'm An Insomniac!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | August 4th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Or maybe I just have so much to do! So anyway, here's a thought: You know who should be fat? Stevenfay. So join this facebook group if you feel the same. And I'm quite aware of how often I hawk my own stupid facebook interests on this blog. Sorry. Bu read more

The Inherent Wisdom of the Clan

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 31st 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

so when hanging out recently with blog contributors and associates (evil hans, gingermuffs, rosensteinowitz, snails, and T.I.) and after some evening activities we settled into snails' basement with some snacks. this, of course, led to the type of "c read more

Lazy Eyes and Where "they" belong.

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 26th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

To start of yes it is I the pimp. I am back for now.To start secondly 6000 viewers of this pointless website, congrats.And to get to the title of this post. Before I worked at Best Buy I thought lazy eyes were uncommon, they were out there but they w read more

Still Working On Those Goddamn Caricatures

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 24th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

I have had little to no time to finish them up. Seriously. And I would like to say they'll be up by tomorrow night, but I'm sure I'll end up doing something that night and having to push the date back even more.So I was watching Schindler's List, rig read more

Stealing Cells and Reeking Hell

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 20th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

So for those who may or may not know Ione (the gf) work's at Jamba. Which is amazing and all of you are welcome to visit her and say you know me, Mexico, and she'll hook you up. BUT not the point of this blog.Kasi, other jamba juicer, was working yes read more

Hans Is Back!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 18th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

I have returned from my abbreviated and overstated absence. While cavorting in the iron range, I took the opportunity to find myself. And do caricatures. Like a retard.Speaking of those caricatures, they will appear at the bottom of the site, in all read more

White Chicks. (Multimedia Moment #2)

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 12th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

I just can't leave this alone and maybe it's just me. But seriously, this movie has to be possibly the hardest motion picture to not be laughing 99% of the time. If you haven't seen it, I think I just need to have a movie night. I know that seanathon read more

Trust and Clones

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 12th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Its been a long time since I posted. Namely because I've been working a terrible job at Lund's, rather than just cashiering with Hans.However, a few days ago, a friend sent me a Circle of Trust request. I added it, not really looking at it, and didn' read more

Here's Some Pointless Shit For Ya

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 12th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Filling in for David Goodman today is Jack Deichert, whose whorish tendencies exceed even Goodman's most depraved aspirations.Jack is a lot of hoes give me they number but i never call.How devilishly simplistic in its message. Jack would like you to read more

Wednesday's Thoughts On MOLLEEN!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 9th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

It's been a while since I've done a Wednesday's Thought on an actual person/people. But that changes . . . now!The twins are formally known as Molly and Colleen, however, collectively they may be filed under several nomenclatures: Molleen, the Twins, read more

Country Music Undegoes A Revival

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 6th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

This one is by far the most coherent and non white-trash song I've ever heard . . .This one contains a fundamental grammar mistake within the title. And is nonetheless amazing! read more

Happy fourth, kiddies!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 4th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

As the resident den mother of this horribly dysfunctional family, I wanted to wish all of you a happy fourth of July. Eat lots of hot dogs, don't burn any friends with fireworks (I learned that one the hard way in my youth), and wear plenty of sunsc read more

Holy Shit You Guys!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | July 3rd 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

I haven't posted in forever. Blame Lunds.I really don't know of anything pertinent to post. What I do know is that I must embed these videos.Which then reminded me of this, also featuring Will Sasso:And, of course, Computer Man:And here's a show that read more

Major League Baseball Is F-ed. But Not As Much As The Media That…

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | June 24th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Here's ESPN's attempt to reach a younger audience. An audience comprised of 12 year old girls:But at the same time, those 12 year old girls are doing this. *Update* Well, fuck that. And Stephen A. Smith has a blog! (Read the comments!) It's improved read more

Rosensteinowitz' failed attempt

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | June 20th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Ever since I came across Ginger Earmuffs being a smug ass in newspaper in junior year, I've been terribly jealous. Not of his inability to sit normally, but of his hair. This was my failed attempt to join the ranks of he and Genellie. God only kno read more

Late Night Infomercials And Other Retarded Musings

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | June 16th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

So if you know me, you are aware of my personal aversion towards sleeping. What does this mean? It means that, since I don't have cable, I am exposed to an unnatural amount of late night infomercials. And most prominent among these sensationalistic w read more

Nailed It. Graduated.

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | June 6th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Yesterday was graduation. Huzzah. And what's more, longtime reader and recent contributor, Abby Rosensteinowitz, made a speech which culminated with an inside joke/amazing catchphrase familiar to IATGTFKWHF readers: Nailed it. Graduated. It was also read more

Kittenball!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | June 2nd 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Hogan's Creative Writing class did more than simply spawn this blog. It also spawned this poem, entitled Kittenball, by Nik Prenevost:When you get a kittenHe spends time sittin'When you get a kittenHe can fit in a mittenWhen you get a kittenIt won't read more

What In The Shit Am I Going To Do With This Blog?

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | June 2nd 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

It's not going anywhere, despite the overwhelming evidence that I appear to be graduating. Over the summer, I'll obviously have more time to post, but will I have the material? Who the hell knows. The plan further on is to adapt the format of this bl read more

I Am In Fact, Not Dead

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | June 1st 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

Fuck it, I'm about to graduate.So Bobby Lewis won Assassins. So stevenfay can find some solace in that, despite the fact that the 2nd place finisher could have used the money a bit more . . .So today the Twins were playing the goddamn Yankees. Who's read more

Eat those Gopher Cakes Till You Explode!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | May 26th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

It is I. I have returned after a decently long absence and let me say that I am no worse for the wear. Although I will have to start my vomit streak over again from about 1:30 pm on Friday May 23rd, 2008 when it last happened. Although, as many of yo read more

Thoughts For The Lord's Day

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | May 25th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

And He shall be praised.It's totally awesome that others have picked up my blogging slack. All of them are assets to our entire organization. Perhaps at the expense of their own blogs, as the three feeds I have set up haven't had activity in almost a read more

Crip Stix Expose #1

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | May 20th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

This is the first post of the IATGTFKWHF exclusive weekly segment: Crip Stix Expose. Each week we’ll take a closer look at somebody that I know in some fashion. Sort of like Wednesday’s Thoughts before Hans decided inanimate objects were better t read more

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | May 18th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

It's time to watch The Rundown. read more

The Chronic Ills of Narnia

I Am The Goose That Fabio Killed With His Face | May 17th 2008 by Hans Birkelstein

-gingivitis-athlete's foot-plaque buildup-insomnia-bronchitis-dwarfism-faunism-Santa Claus-that weird yellow rash down there that just won't go away no matter how much Gold Bond they put on it... read more

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