BlaineFridley's activity feed Return to BlaineFridley's profile
- December 1st, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Sorry Folks! DoF temporarily closed for upkeep and maintenance -- back Jan. \'10
"Hello?"--"Ummm...hello? 'scuse me? sir? Yeah-hi… can I help you with something?"- - -"You're here for what?Fresh content?Hahaha oooooh, sweety, I'm sorry 'bout that. Nobody told you? Typical. Ya'kn…
- November 20th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Your Headlines for November 20, 2009
NationBristol Palin Inks Endorsement Deal with "My Bad" Teenage Pregnancy TestsSupreme Court Rules Black Jack Taco to Be "Explosive for Your Anus", Orders Taco Bell to Include Surgeon General's Warnin…
- November 19th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
DoF Newswire: BREAKING NEWS
Atlanta, GA -In a continuation of the nearly nonstop barrage of crisis scenarios encountered by President Obama since taking office last year comes word of a nationwide Eggo shortage, projected to las…
- November 17th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Famous Last Words
In "The Dark Knight," Heath Ledger's Joker famously said, "In their last moments, people show you who they really are." Which is rather deeply ironic when you think about it, being as he was technical…
- November 12th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
The Bob Seger Dilemma
I really, really hate Bob Seger with every molecule of my being. I really, REALLY do. I wish he would die in a fire and that his music be sucked into a black hole, never to torture innocent ears aga…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Digable Planets in MPLS tonight
One of all my all-time favorites that I have yet to see live, until tonight. Interested insects can catch Doodlebug and Butterfly at The Cabooze this eve. In the meantime in between time, here's a lin…
- November 10th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Blaine Fridley\'s Lost Bible Passages
Young Jesus and the Birkenstock SalesmanLost passage from: The Book of Jenkins 3:18And Jesus said onto the part-time Birkenstock Outlet clerk, "I tell you now that these sandals - of which I purchased…
- November 6th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Champions of Society: Irony Edition
It seems like some people really are just asking for it. And by "it," I'm of course referring to a righteously-deserved booty-violation from the universe as a whole. How else can we really explain th…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
- November 4th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Pseudo-Celebrity Halloween Costume Roundup 2.0
Merton Sussex, Competitive EaterWhen I scribbled out last week's Celebrity Costume Roundup, I did so because it came to my attention that there had been a bumper crop of Hollywood douchebags who had h…
- November 3rd, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Hey, RT, this one\'s for you
So election day is nearly over... yeah, I know, my timing's impeccable. Anyway, I got this amazing voicemail yesterday from an obviously frustrated old lady, who thought she was leaving a message fo…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Famous Last Words
Imminent death has a way of cutting to the core of who we are as human beings.With Famous Last Words, the DoF shares with you the last words uttered by some of history's most notable characters before…
- October 30th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Pseudo-Celebrity Halloween Costume Roundup
Ah, celebrities. They're just plain BETTER than us regular folk, aren't they? That's why asshole paparazzi follow them around 24/7. Because even if all they're doing is sucking down some overpriced…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
- October 29th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Tragedy and What It Is In Vids: Volume One
TragedyI read the news today, oh boy, as I’m sure you did. To say the news was rather sad would be an understatement.Last night’s tragedy has affected me on a base level that is rarely penetrated.…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
MySpace still has it!
I am one of the many millions of people around the world that still has their e-vestigial tail, aka a Myspace account. I pay my ridiculous fucking phone bill more often and cheerfully then I check tha…
- October 28th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Treasury Dept. Punishes Bailout Recipients with Pay Raise
As you may have seen on the news ticker scrolling underneath the 24-hour balloon boy coverage last week, the Treasury Dept. announced big cuts in compensation for top execs at companies that received…
- October 27th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GAY ABOUT THIS.
I admit...It was sort of sexy when they marketed this thing toward women. But the new "ShakeWeight for Men"? Well, I'm no homophobe, certainly...So more power to 'em, I guess. Rock on with your pist…
- October 26th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
- October 23rd, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Champions of Society: Dennis "La-Z-Boy" LeRoy
Attempting to make jokes here feels a little like adding my own brush strokes to "Starry Night".Why mess with a masterpiece?Man pleads guilty to DWI in motorized La-Z-Boyby The Associated PressDULUTH,…
- October 22nd, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Close, but missing 8lbs of human pushed out an orifice
Diary of Fools is about to get Mommified, most likely to the utter horror of the other contributors. (HAHA!) But, I can't help but share this ridonkulously awesome video. Some brave (mentally unst…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Dude should\'ve totally taken that Al-Qaeda internship.
On Wednesday, authorities arrested 27-year-old Tarek Mehanna at his momma's house in an upscale Boston suburb.According to the AP story, it seems Tarek had been conspiring to kill two prominent U.S. p…
- October 21st, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
DoF Shirt of the Week
The thing about polo shirts we like: Comfortable, easy, don't have to be ironed often, soaks up spilled beer nicely, considered 'dressing up' to most women.The things we hate about polo shirts: We don…
- October 20th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Things I Wish Were Jokes
Watch this video:Are you fucking kidding me? This has to be a joke, right? I couldn't just have just watched a multicultural menagerie of attractive actors pleading me to spy on my neighbors, could…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
- October 16th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Today in penis-confusing news
I'm just getting wind that the the Twitter-verse is all twitter-pated over something Meghan McCain did. Y'know...Meghan McCain? Daughter of Senator John McCain, the senior Senator from the great stat…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
RIP Captain Lou
Whether you know him as a boisterous professional wrestler or as the creepy live action Mario, you should be sad now because he's dead.Here he is sneaking Tabasco into Rowdy Roddy Piper's spaghetti:An…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Christians are WACKY.
So, yeah. Apparently, THIS exists.Survey time!I blame this hilariously cock-shaped cookie cutter on:A clueless Christian dolt who genuinely had no ideaA subversive designer making a statement about re…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Hot Sh!t: So awesome, it actually HURTS.
If you've never bought anything from ThinkGeek.com, excuse me for a moment while I narrow my eyes at you, and regard you with vague suspicion. If you've never even BEEN to ThinkGeek.com, you are so fa…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
From the Diary of (Very) Mad (Half) Black Man: Fuck You Keith Bardwell
Yes, fuck you Keith Bardwell. You simple-minded, backwoods jackhole of a human being. For those unfamiliar with Mr. Bardwell, he is a Louisiana justice of the peace who lovingly performs wedding cerem…
- October 15th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
McGangBang Meet Your Match!
I, like many of you loyal readers, first read about the McGangBang here almost three months ago. I was immediately shocked, disheartened in humanity, and…intrigued.See, dear friends, I have a proble…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Teach Me, Uncle Richard!
Learning the ABCs with our 37th president!Today's letter:Cc"C" is for Cup."Now the Mexicans are a different cup of tea. At the present time, they have a heritage, but at the present time they steal, t…
- October 14th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
She\'s a MAN, Baby!
One doesn't have to live in Minnesota to have heard about the bottomless pit of greatness that is Michele Bachmann. She's a fighter for the little man, a caller-out of those anti-American, fighter of…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
This day in History: October 14th
1944: German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel commits suicide rather than face execution for allegedly conspiring against Adolf Hitler.Erwin Rommel gives historians headaches.It should be a pretty cut-and-d…
- October 13th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
FREE HOT ALYSSA MILANO PIC IN THIS POST!
Just a quick word on Fox's Glee.And yes, I realize the above sentence is an admission that I watch Glee.To that, I'll tell you exactly what I told people in the fall of '97 when I briefly became addic…
- October 12th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Your Headlines for October 12, 2009
Media WatchRecently Fired Local Anchorwoman "Young at Heart, but Old in the Face"WorldObama Nobel Peace Prize Apparently Not a JokeLeader of world's largest, most aggressive military was really select…
- October 8th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
- October 7th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
The DoF Mail Bag
Highly respected reader Askov Finlayson weighs in on the most recent episode of Dancing with the Stars:Never before has a politician so thoroughly ruined any future chances of political viability than…
- October 6th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Sports Extra!
MLBBreast fondled on Kisscam NBAMinnesota Timberwolves Unveil "Because it's cold outside" '09-'10 Marketing CampaignNew Coach Rambis: Target Center visitors should look forward to a season of fast-pac…
- October 2nd, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Time for another DoF Extraneous Web Poll!
The Best Training Montage Songs of All-Time?Vote here for your chance to win absolutely nothing.Online Surveys & Market Research
- September 30th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Urinalysis: a multi-part study of the behaviors, codes, customs and characters of the workplace restroom
In this episode: The Over-social Urinal Partner.For most people, working in an office setting does not allow much time for silent reflection. Between phone calls, emails, cubicle "pop-ins" and, for 18…
- September 29th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Before they were famous...they were sort of embarrassing.
Hey, kids, have I got a treat for you today!Well, no, actually. I haven't. But it's Tuesday, officially the lamest day of the week. So you'll take what you're fed, and you'll like it.A lot of people a…
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
The Intellectual Scrapheap: where inane thought went before Twitter.
As hard a concept as it to grasp now, photo documentation proves Rod Stewart was the coolest man alive at one point.Don't believe me?OK.I challenge you to go out tonight and find a nicer piece of tail…
- September 28th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
The Day I Lost My Faith in Humanity, Volume XXII
Yoga4Dogs, eh?Hmm. Dogs are great and yoga is cool, but putting them together makes about as much sense as Nuts and Gum (together at last!).Welp, let's just hope for humanity's sake all customers find…
- September 25th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Your Headlines for September 25, 2009
WorldAhmadinejad's Minister of Cinematic Arts Denies Existence of "Schindler's List"EducationElementary School's Inclusion of Biathlon at Track and Field Funday Draws CriticismOpinionBoogers!by Little…
- September 24th, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
- September 23rd, 2009
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BlaineFridley has posted a new entry on: Diary of Fools
Sometimes, Auto-Tune ISN'T Evil
I hate to break this to everyone, but the entirety of Western Civilization must commit suicide immediately. Yes, I know. Tragic. But it simply cannot be avoided.Why, you ask? Tsk, tsk. Can't you…
