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- November 8th, 2009
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- November 1st, 2009
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- October 27th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Mantra
What the child survived the adult can heal. Posted in Thoughts Tagged: abuse, child abuse, healing from abuse, healing from sexual abuse, recovering from abuse, surviving abuse, therapy
- October 25th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Back into the Swing of Things
Last week was a tough week for me so I took a break from posting. I had a flashback during therapy and that just wasn’t a good start to my week. Hopefully I get rolling here in the next couple…
- October 16th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Thought
The worst feeling in the world is when you reach out and no one reaches back. Posted in Thoughts Tagged: abuse, child abuse, reaching out
- October 15th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Note To My Inner Child
I don’t even know what the hell to call you. What is your name? Better yet where the hell are you? How can I get to know you when I can’t even find you? How am I suppose to know what you wan…
- October 14th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Being Ignored
Would your parents frequently ignore you by refusing to speak or listen to you? My dad would have this thing where he would ignore us in the morning until we spoke to him first. The routine was w…
- October 12th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
My Brother the Dill Weed
I called my mom on Saturday night to see how her move to Ca. went. She sounded good and totally stoked that her house is going to be built sooner than she thought. My mom asked if I had heard from m…
- October 8th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Feelings
Is it difficult for you to know what you are feeling? The short answer is yes. I hate it when I get asked what are you feeling? Because I honestly don’t know about half the time. I want…
- October 7th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Left Behind
So yesterday I talked about therapy with K. and how I always got left so I have this anxiety about being late. I thought I’d post some of my Left Behind stories that I talked about with K. The fir…
- October 6th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Therapy Session II
So yesterday was my second session with K. I didn’t post anything because I had a splitting head ache when it was all said and done. The rabbit was there. Let me just say that rabbit is the cute…
- October 2nd, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
The News
I watch the news a lot. In the past couple of weeks my news watching has waned a bit. There seems to be a rush on sexual abuse/assault cases lately. Today it is Elizabeth Smart. Yesterday it w…
- October 1st, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Question: Do I Miss Work
Do you have many health-related absences from work? No. For me to call into work I have to feel like something is seriously wrong. Not other people thinking something is wrong but me. Hell I…
- September 30th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Fish and Funerals
Yesterday I mentioned that I work at a children’s home. I work with the younger kids, nine to 15. It’s a mixed cottage so I work with boys and girls. There are four boys and six girls, and…
- September 29th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
A Typical Day
My therapist K asked me what I do on a typical day. Not much. I’m a pretty dull person. I don’t like to be around lots of people. I wake up early now. Usually around six, I go to bed a…
- September 28th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
- September 25th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Sexual Pictures/Films
Were you ever shown sexual pictures or films or were you ever photographed undressed or provocatively posed? Hmm…I think I mentioned before that there are pictures of myself and my sister as kids…
- September 24th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Parents and Dr.s
Did they refuse to take you to the doctor when you were sick (absent religious constraints)? My dad firmly believed that going to the Dr. and getting put on medication for a infection weakened your…
- September 23rd, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Failure
I’ve failed at a lot of things. I’ve also been really good at some things, one of those things is failure. I’m not talking about screwing up. But when the label failure gets tagged on to wha…
- September 22nd, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Therapy
So I had my first meeting with the new therapist, K. A few observations: Her office is humongous, you have to hike to get to her sofa. She has a ‘therapy rabbit’ that was on a weeklong home…
- September 21st, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Flood
Too much. My head is in over load. It’s just yammering away at me for lack of a better way of putting it. I’m in gag mode. With the first therapist appointment to day I’ve just been walkin…
- September 18th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Birthday
Today is Cs birthday. She said I didn’t have to get her anything, because I went to Ani Concert, and a ball game with her. Translation: I put up with hoards of people because those are things…
- September 17th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Death
I think about death all the time. What’s it like to die, what happens after you die, when will I die? I’ve always thought that I would die young. C agrees. She tells me that I’ll probabl…
- September 16th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Off Days
I’m having one of those off days. I didn’t sleep well last night, I kept having nightmares. Then when C went to kiss me bye before she left, I was still asleep she scared the hell outta me. …
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 15th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
The Weekend in Review
C and I went to St. Louis this past weekend it’s about a three hour drive. My mom is moving to California so I need to boogie down and say bye to her. While we were down there we caught a Cards…
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 14th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Self Harm
Do you ever purposely harm your body? Hmm. Not really. I work at a job where I get hurt all the time. Then, when I do get numbish I just get a tattoo. So, tomorrow I’m getting a tattoo. I do t…
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 11th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Threats
Would they threaten to leave you or kill you if you did not do what they said? Being adopted, my parents wouldn’t threaten to leave me. They would threaten to give me back to whomever they got…
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 10th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Meow Mix
When I got into trouble as a kid and banished to my room I wasn’t allowed to come out until the allotted time was up. This time could be hours (no big deal) or days (big deal). The hours I could…
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 9th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Rules for Therapy
C and I were talking about my upcoming therapy appointment in a couple of weeks. I asked C if there was anything that I shouldn’t say. She said that I should not talk about suicide. I agreed. No…
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 8th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Spankings For Everyone
Did your parents punish you by hitting you with a hand or some implement until you were bruised or injured? My dad had this board, more like a plank that was the paddle that we got spanked with. We…
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 7th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
- September 5th, 2009
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- September 4th, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: The Lesbian Said What
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Attic
My dad would often do things in front of other people, or have me do things in front of people. When I was a kid, like five to seven he’d tell me to look down my shirt and spell ‘attic’. …
- September 3rd, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Conversation with C
C and our air conditioning went out. It isn’t such a big deal because the weather has been pretty cool so we’ve just had the windows up. C comes to me and says she’s going to call the air co…
- September 2nd, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
Friends
Did your parents prevent you from having friends? I wouldn’t say my parents kept me from having friends. My dad would give me the third degree about my friends. My mom was a little more relaxed. …
- September 1st, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
New Bed
C. and I got a new bed. While this isn’t a big deal to most people in the world it was awkward shopping for it. Awkward as in there are a hundred mattresses to choose from and you are suppose to…
- August 31st, 2009
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Ceara has posted a new entry on: Healing The Soul
