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- December 23rd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Dear Santa 2009
Every Christmas I write my own letter to Santa Claus here on my blog instead of trusting those bastards at the post office to deliver it. I know Santa is a daily reader so I’m sure he’…
- December 22nd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Christmas Blog Swap
Today I am doing a Christmas creative writing swap with one of my fellow bloggers Pam. If you’re not bright enough to realize what a blog swap is then let me fill you in. What happens here…
- December 21st, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
It\'s Fuckin Christmas Week
Christmas is almost here and I’m really excited about all the funny shit I’ll be able to post this week. Later today I’m supposed to be doing a creative writing blog swap with a…
- December 18th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Where the hell can you find a black Barbie doll?
The other night I was out Christmas shopping and I happened to be looking for something for my best friend’s kids. The thing is my buddy happens to be black so basically I was trying to buy…
- December 17th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Why? Just fucking why do you have to do that?
Okay so today’s complaint is one that makes absolutely no sense to me at all. We have a certain employee at work, and you know who you are, that likes to leave open soda containers in the f…
- December 16th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
The Worst Christmas Gift EVER!
Okay so as most of you know Christmas is right around the corner from us and will be here faster than we think. I’m sure a lot of you normal people are probably done with your shopping alre…
- December 15th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Sometimes you just have to say FUCK THE POLICE!
Last night as I was on my way home from a friend’s house I got pulled over by the cops. No big deal I figured because I hadn’t done anything wrong. As I was pulling off to the side of…
- December 14th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Need something fixed at home? Just say the magic words!
So Saturday morning I woke up to my wife telling me that our kitchen sink is leaking a little bit. No big deal and I figured that I would get around to fixing it whenever the hell I got a chance.…
- December 11th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
The next time you visit the dentist you\'ve got to try this!
One of my least favorite things in the world involves going to the dentist. I fucking hate it! One of the reasons I hate going to the dentist so much is because they always get you in that chair,…
- December 10th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
I Need A Hand Job!
Okay so I have absolutely nothing else to say today other than I need a hand job! I tell you this is some ingenious fucking marketing! DG www.ineedahandjob.com
- December 9th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
The Funniest Text Message I\'ve Ever Received!
So yesterday as I was leaving work a friend of mine, you know who you are Joey, was calling trying to get a hold of me. I was a little busy so I didn’t answer the phone right away when he c…
- December 8th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Nothing like a fake tattoo sleeve to say "I\'m a douche bag!"
So Sunday I was out at the Dolphins game enjoying myself on a beautiful December afternoon. As I was walking around doing my normal people watching routine I noticed an awfully high amount of dou…
- December 7th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Fuck I lost my post for today!
Goddamn it I guess I forgot to hit save after writing my blog this morning. I just logged in and noticed that what I had written for today is not here and I don’t have a copy of it! I guess…
- December 4th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Merry Fucking Christmas!
So we’re 21 days away from what a lot of us call the most wonderful time of the year, i.e. Christmas. Now the problem I’ve had with the Christmas season over the past few years is the…
- December 3rd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
When Facebook and Twitter Go TOO Far
Last week and man and woman were happily married in a beautiful wedding ceremony. Sounds like the begging of a happy story right? Fuck no it’s not. Actually let me rephrase the first senten…
- December 2nd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Dildos and Power Tools Don\'t Mix
Okay so here’s something I suggest none of you try without proper supervision. A Maryland woman was rushed to the hospital early Sunday morning after she suffered an injury sustained from a…
- December 1st, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Cheap Ass Canadians Always Want Something For Free
You all are familiar with the Swine Flu right? Well here’s a story that will probably piss off every American taxpayer in the entire country. Last night I was watching the local evening new…
- November 30th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Thanksgiving With My Father In-Law
Well happy fucking Monday people! I hope you all had a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving weekend because I sure as hell did. All in all this year’s turkey day went pretty well and it was…
- November 25th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Kick A Ginger Day and Kick A Jew Day, All In The Same Week
Okay so I’ve got two stories for you all today. The first is from Canada where 24 elementary school kids were suspended for participating in ‘Kick a Ginger Day’. For those of yo…
- November 24th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has added
cbel2me to their friends list. -
DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Let\'s Play The "Who Do You Think Is Wrong" Game.
Sunday there was a video released showing a San Francisco transit policeman forcefully removing a drunken man from one of their trains. This video clearly shows that the belligerent man was causi…
- November 23rd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Fuck You Seagate!
So me being the total fucking computer geek that I am, I always keep all of my personal data on an external hard drive. Data such as 24 thousand of my family pictures, close to 50 thousand MP3 mu…
- November 20th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Another Dumb Fucking Question
So we’ve all been to the movies before I’m sure. You buy your tickets, go inside to get some soda, popcorn, a box of snow caps and the next thing you know you’ve paid fifty fuck…
- November 19th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Need An Alibi?
Have you ever tried to pull off the perfect lie but were unable to come up with an alibi? Well you can stop worrying about having to cover your ass from now on thanks to the people over at alibin…
- November 18th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
No dad I did not listen to that woman\'s CD, she fucking sucks!
For about three or four years now my father in-law has asked me every fucking weekend about some lady he saw singing in a bar one day. Every fucking Sunday I hear the exact same question from my…
- November 17th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Hate to lick envelopes but love the taste of bacon?
So I woke up this morning and forgot that I had to mail a letter. With the way technology is nowadays I really don’t send too many things via snail mail but sometimes you are forced to. Any…
- November 16th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
"Hello 911, I have an emergency! I\'m horny and out of cellphone minutes!"
Just when you’ve thought you heard it all another dumbass comes along and proves you wrong. Meet Mr. Joshua Basso, an extremely horny and stupid motherfucker. Old Josh here got a little exc…
- November 13th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
This Week\'s Question, Is This Right Or Wrong?
This week’s question has a bit of a story behind it and I’m kind of pissed about the whole situation. Picture this, your three year-old son comes to you and alleges that your friend j…
- November 12th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
"Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug!!"
Oh man so here we go again, another crackhead and another funny story. Meet Sundae Dawn Johnson, a crackhead whore from Naples Florida who recently got herself into a shit load of trouble. Old Su…
- November 11th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Ten Things Not To Get Caught Googling, Part III
Okay so almost two years ago I had fixed someone’s computer and ended up finding some really nasty shit about this said person and what they were Googling. That particular incident prompted…
- November 10th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has added
txsage1957 to their friends list. -
DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Vrooom, Crash! Day One Without Alcohol!
That’s right I had a drink yesterday, and with good fucking reasoning. Let me tell you all what happened here. So I left work yesterday a little after 5PM and started to head home. I had to…
- November 9th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has updated their friends list.
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new blog review on: Timmy Swagga
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
All The Fun Happens Down At The Walmart!
Day 37 without alcohol! Okay so do I have a fucking story to share with you all today. Meet David Todd Napodano, a 42 year-old Florida man who was recently arrested down at the Walmart. What cou…
- November 6th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Another Dumb Fucking Question
So it’s Friday, I’m late for work, tired and feeling like I’d just rather go back to the fucking bed. But I can’t do that because, well, I get paid today! What I can do th…
- November 5th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Please Don\'t Take Away My Chocolaty Goodness
Day 33 without alcohol! Okay so I really do not have shit to say about anything relatively important this morning, but I do have something I would like to share. I happen to love Ritz crackers,…
- November 4th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
"Hello 911, I want to report a drunk driver."
32 Days without alcohol! Seeing as that I am now officially sober I believe that gives me the right to make fun of other drunken retarded people. I really thought that I had taken the cake with…
- November 3rd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
The Shit Bandit Strikes Again!
Some of you may remember back in May when I posted a story about someone or something that took a shit in my front yard and left behind not only a pile of smelly crap but also the toilet paper th…
- November 2nd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
"30 Days Clean? Let\'s Celebrate With A Beer!!"
So I did it, I made it 30 days without any alcohol! I really cannot believe that I made it this far to be quite honest with you. I spent my first birthday since I can remember without drinking. I…
- October 30th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
You Can\'t Be That Fucking Stupid
Day 27 without alcohol! Just when you think you’ve seen it all two dumb asses come along and prove that there’s even stupider people still out there. Meet Matthew McNelley and Joey M…
- October 29th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Go Doug, It\'s Your Birthday, It\'s Your Birthday, It\'s Your Birthday, It\'s Your Birthday!
Day 26 without alcohol! So today is my birthday, big fucking deal right? Yup I am 29 years old today! I don’t feel 29 and it’s hard to imagine that I’ve made it this far in lif…
- October 28th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
I guess this is what they call \'blogger\'s block\'?
Day 25 without alcohol! Believe it or not I really do not have a fucking thing to say today. Usually this doesn’t happen to me but for some reason I think I have a form of writer’s b…
- October 27th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Just In Time For Halloween, The Weirdest Craigslist Ad Ever!
Alright so as most of you may know this coming Saturday is Halloween. And what would Halloween be without a bunch of weird fucks dressing up as even weirder fucks on this glorious holiday? Well I…
- October 26th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Dad Killed The Fucking Dog!
Day 23 with no alcohol! So as most of you may remember on Friday I was explaining how my father in-law drove his dead dog to the vet like the thing was still alive. He also, while stopped at a r…
- October 23rd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
Another Intelligent Conversation With My Father In-Law
Day 20 without alcohol! So yesterday was a bad day for my father in-law. He called my wife and I early yesterday morning to tell us his dog of thirteen years had just died. Now granted this dog…
- October 22nd, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
"I\'m about to have a baby, hey nice tits!"
Day 19 without alcohol! Okay so the other day I was reading this story and only felt it necessary that I share it with you all today. It’s about a father in Utah who’s wife was in la…
- October 21st, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
"Sir, do you happen to have an extra cigarette I can borrow?"
Day 18 without alcohol! Okay so as most of you know I am definitely not perfect at all. I have my flaws, and I have a lot of them. Smoking cigarettes is one of the main issues I have that to me…
- October 20th, 2009
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DOUGGOFFdotCOM has posted a new entry on: Doug's Daily Gripes
My Father In-Law And His Fuckin MPG Obsession - Part II
17 Days without alcohol! Some of you may remember a while back that I posted a story about my father in-law and his obsession with his car’s gas mileage. If you don’t know what I am…
