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- Yesterday
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
The Twelve Days of Christmas...Bagwine Style
I was going to re-record today’s Bagwine Christmas Classic, but when I got home from work Tuesday night, I was far too tired and Schmoop was far too deep into her much needed beauty sleep.So…I wil…
- December 22nd, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Wrap It Up, I\'ll Take It!!
Back in 2006, I began altering the definition of what sex consisted of. Like the 12 year old that I am, I have always found this experiment amusing. What follows, is my Christmas edition of sex change…
- December 20th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer? Hardly. Here\'s What Really Happened...
On this shortest day of the year, and due to the fact that I work early this afternoon, I offer you a brief song.It is a 2 minute and 3 second piece of musical Christmas joy that I wrote and recorded…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Sunday Morning Church Disservice: It\'s Almost Party Time. Where\'s My Side Dish?
It’s going to be a cloudy and cold Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today. But my friends…There are twelve packs and cases of libation to be doled out, thus I shall be working the Beer Mine from 11-7 toda…
- December 19th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Working Through the White Death and the Weekend
Oh my God. The White Death is currently crippling the Bagwine area. We must have at least ¼ inch of snow on the ground.And the roads? Well, at 32 degrees our roads are very, very, very…um…wet. Yo…
- December 18th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Al-Hijra: Happy Islamic New Year!!
Shoot those fireworks and bang those pots and pans Bitches, today is Al-Hijra, the Islamic New Year!! Wait a minute…pots and pans? Fireworks? Muslims? Let’s start over…Fire off those AK-47s and…
- December 16th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
I Like This Time of Year
In spite of my bittersweet blog memory of me not having sex with Veronica from the Archie’s yesterday, I remain happy.In spite of Bagwine buddy Dana dragging me into the middle of a one-sided debate…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Christmas Eve \'74: Comic Coitus Interruptus
I’m nine years old. I am in my bed and it’s Christmas Eve. My family, consisting of Mom and Dad, nine of us kids, and a few spouses, has just smoked, drank, eaten, and exchanged presents to the po…
- December 15th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Kwanzaa: Light The Pipe and Make Your Wish
The first day of Hanukkah has passed and Christmas is ten days away, but let us not forget that on December 26th, the celebration of Kwanzaa begins. Allow me to 'splain...In 1966 some uppity social ac…
- December 14th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
It\'s a Hemingway Kind of Day
There is absolutely nothing going on in the news that hasn’t already been covered to death.Sunday night I was trying to find something new to write about for today before I get back into the Bagwine…
- December 13th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Matt-Man Drivel
It’s going to be a gray and wet Sabbath here in Bagwine, Ohio. Fortunately, the temp will be in the mid-30’s so my 11-7 shift in the Beer Mine will be quite bearable.Praise Jeebus!!My weekend post…
- December 11th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Because Schmoop\'s Brother Said So...
I occasionally take requests.As this is Saturday and nothing much is going on, I thought I'd take one that I received yesterday.Schmoop's brother, David, was over and said:"Ya know...sometimes I think…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Hanukkah 2009: Let The Jew-a-Palooza Begin!!
Give a big shout out and a bellow on the shofar, Bitches…Hanukkah begins at sundown tonight. Praise Jeebus!!Okay, “Praise Jeebus” doesn’t work…um…how ‘bout, Praise Judah!! Yeah, that’s…
- December 10th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Winter Wonderland or a Nightmare for Pizza Bill?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning…in part because I had to pee, but mainly due to the fact that I passed out went to sleep so early last night.I betcha I was fast asleep on Kelly by 8:30 last night. It…
- December 8th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
A Christmas Carol: BK In Memoriam
Now that Christmas is but 16 days away, I thought it a good time to once again post the story from 2006 of my friend Bagwine Kringle who died trying to brighten the Christmas of others less than fortu…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Tiger Woods and His Mistresses: Whores One and All!!
I’ve been thinking about Tiger Woods and his steamy, adulterous, sexcapades with his nine or whatever mistresses during his short marriage.I think, “Holy Cow!! Nine different women!? It’s a sham…
- December 7th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
U.N. Climate Change Summit in Denmark: The Answers Are Under Your Nose
Today marks the day that the UN Climate Change Conference convenes in wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen…That’s in Denmark.Delegates from nearly every country will be attending this summit over the c…
- December 6th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Grandpa, A Referee, and a Rabbi Walk Into a Basketball Game...
Another chilly but partly sunny Sabbath in Bagwine on tap for today.I shall of course being working 11-7 doling out libation and nicotine to thirsty and Marlboro addicted football viewers.As it should…
- December 5th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Saturday Mish-Mash
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.It’s a cold morning in Bagwine. 21 degrees Fahrenheit. For all of you pretentious Celsius clowns out there that’s -6 degrees.I start my new schedule today and will be working 11…
- December 3rd, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Blow Out Your Advent Candle, Christmas Is Here!!
Christmas has come early to Bagwine…I found out late yesterday that I am off today. We have moved to our winter schedule at the Beer Mine, and I thank Pizza Bill for letting me know. You see, our ow…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Meredith Baxter Says That She Is A Lesbian On The Today Show...Woe Is Me!!
So much for the long held dream of the Matt-Man.For years, from the time I was five and until yesterday at the ripe old age of 44 I have held many desires.My one desire which topped the others with a…
- December 2nd, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
The Merry Christmas Billboard Ladies Are Back And Jesus Hates Them
The Merry Christmas Billboard Ladies are back for another yuletide go ‘round with retailers who refuse to use the words, “Merry Christmas” in their advertising and/or prohibit their employees fr…
- December 1st, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
December...It\'s For Sarcastic Bastards
Well folks, it’s finally here…DECEMBER!! My favorite month of the year.We have Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and the Muslim New Year observance on December 18th, called Al Hijra.And guess what?We…
- November 30th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren, and Rachel Uchitel: Whose Lawyer Will Complete The Foursome?
What in the hell was Tiger Woods thinking? I swear to GOD, he really screwed up.No, not the car crash in which he was involved this past Friday morning. I am talking about him getting married to Elin…
- November 28th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Transitions
I have but a short post on this Sabbath.I’m working 11-7 and then of course, headed over to see my adorable little pin head in order to help him with math after that.I’ll be tied up on Monday for…
- November 27th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
State Mottos
I was feeling pretty good after work Friday night.I was having a few cocktails and watching College Football. I watched the end of the Pitt/West Virginia game and then began watching the Boise State/N…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Thanks for the Foodaries
I hope that everyone had a most enjoyable Thanksgiving and that no one experienced familial drama, drunk driving arrests, or virulent bowel movements due to salmonella tainted turkey.I had a most enjo…
- November 26th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Thanksgiving: Mucho Thank-O
Happy Thanksgiving!!As I type this, I am drinking some joe and chuckling at Schmoop’s bed head.I have to work 10 A.M.-2 P.M. in order to make sure that the Bagwine pilgrims and pilgirlz have plenty…
- November 24th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Thanksgiving: Breaking Tradition
The holiday season kicks off tomorrow with Thanksgiving, and guess what?I’m working!! Eh, it’s no big deal. I asked Little Bill if I could work four of his hours at the Beer Mine on Thanksgiving a…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Thanksgiving Recipe: Football, Food, and Hold the Blathering
I am looking forward to this Thanksgiving more than any other in recent memory. Why? Because I have become so fucking bored and addle-minded due to all of the political punditry, prognostication, and…
- November 23rd, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Thanksgiving...A Cornucopia of Traditions
It's Thanksgiving week here in the glorious and gluttonous United States of America. Food, booze, and on Friday, credit cards will be flying as we give thanks as a nation.It's a grand American traditi…
- November 22nd, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Matt-Man and His Amazing Powder Blue Dreampants
It’s going to be a bee-yoo-tee-ful Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio. Sunny with a high near 60.The good weather should help because it’s going to be a long day. I work 11-7 at the Beer Mine and then go ov…
- November 21st, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
A Day of Football and Nicotine
Happy Saturday!!I'm off to see Ryno for a few and then will be back to the digs to watch the Ohio State Buckeyes take on the Michigan Wolverines in Ann Arbor at Noon today.This is exactly the type of…
- November 20th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Ohio State Buckeyes vs. Michigan Wolverines: A Case Study in Stupid
If you are merely a casual College Football fan, or if you are one who resides in either Ohio or Michigan, you know what tomorrow is.Tomorrow is the annual Ohio State Buckeyes/Michigan Wolverines foot…
- November 19th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Matt-Man: A Day in the Life...
Happy Thursday, Bitches!!Today is my scheduled day off and I feel pretty good even after working in the wind and the cold last night. So, all I can say to that is, “Boo Yah!!”I was reading the com…
- November 17th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Wuuuuuuv...Twuuuuuue Wuuuuuuv
I'm feelin' much better today and will be headed back to work this evening. Hoo-Fucking-Ray!!I must grudgingly admit, that one of the reasons I am feeling better is that I listened to my boss, Drive-B…
- November 16th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Megan Fox Naked!! Heidi Montag Naked!!
Another boring medical update from the Matt-Man…I had a major setback yesterday. Half way through my shift yesterday, a new and painful experience reared its ugly head.At about 3 in the afternoon th…
- November 15th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
It's a cloudy, yet relatively warm Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today.This should prevent my 11-7 shift at the Beer Mine (if it's not too busy) from making me keel over and dropping dead into a puddle of…
- November 13th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Hospital Humor and a Happy Birthday
Even though I worked Friday night, I still have quite a bit of wind left in me and feel pretty good.Thusly, a brief post…mainly because it is a very easy one to write.First up, I offer you a few thi…
- November 12th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Carrie Prejean on Larry King Live: Signs of the Apocalypse
I wish I could have had this post up earlier but a rough night at work played havoc on my less than healthy body, but such is life.Several things happened yesterday and more so last night that to me,…
- November 11th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Veteran\'s Day 2009: Here\'s To The Unknown Veteran!!
As today is Veteran’s Day in the United States, I decided against offering the empty and obligatory, “Thank You for Your Service.”, bullshit.Instead, I thought that I would go that meaningful ex…
- November 10th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Desultory Thoughts on a Tuesday
Yesterday at approximately 7:45 A.M., I posted that my weight had dropped from 184 pounds to 174 pounds.Well lo and behold, between 7:45 A.M. and arriving at my Doctor’s appt. at 9:30 A.M., I had mi…
- November 9th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
A Bit of Fragrance Always Clings to the Hand That Gives Roses
Happy Monday Bitches!!Oy Vay…I worked eight hours on Sunday, and it WIPED ME OUT. Holy Cow.I got home at 7 P.M. and was all but asleep on the couch by 8 P.M. Instead of trying to write a post for to…
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Jay’s New Celebrity Fantasy Girlfriend ™
It is indeed a bee-yoo-tee-ful Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today. Sunny and 67 degrees…not bad at all for November in the Buckeye State.It will make my 11-7 shift in the Beer Mine today quite tolerable…
- November 6th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Michele Bachmann: Tea Bagging Her Way To Fame
The health care “debate” in spite of my thinking that it could sink no lower, has plummeted to a nadir that even nattering nabobs of negativism would be hard pressed to believe.In fact, if I were…
- November 5th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Pneu-Mania 2009: A Retrospective
I have a bit of Hospital Hodgepodge for you today.I thought I’d just toss out some thoughts, pictures, and medical related bon mots for you today in order to help wrap up the story of my pulmonary u…
- November 4th, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Suck It...Just Suck It
I have a problem. Yes, I know, many of you have thought that already, but here’s the thing…I need some pretty damn powerful antibiotics, and my paperwork is askew, so I am not getting them and hav…
- November 3rd, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
Dispatches From the Hospital: Emergency Room Picnic
Eight days ago, Schmoop walked me over to the Emergency Room of the hospital across the street from us in order for me to be treated for my burgeoning pulmonary infection.I was checked-in at the ER de…
- November 2nd, 2009
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MattMan has posted a new entry on: Bagwine Ruminations
The Egg of the Phoenix
There seems to be a disturbance and/or some kind of alteration in the Blogos-Force.Not necessarily a evil deviation of the blogging paradigm, in fact, this supernatural event tends to be a harbinger o…
