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- December 17th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Dry Your Eyes, Mate.
Those of you who have followed my blog since back when it was Ohheyhi.com will remember the extensive blogging of my adventures living next-door to the most disgusting family in the Universe, The Mess…
- December 15th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Real Life Snippet #11
FADE IN: INT. SHERRI’S OFFICE The phone is ringing and SHERRI checks the Caller ID to see it is her MOTHER phoning. After a brief pause in which SHERRI contemplates ignoring the call, she goes a…
- December 12th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
I’m Pleased To Slag You Off, Meat Rack.
I’m a fairly organized person. In fact, sometimes I’m downright retarded about how things are kept. All of our towels must be folded a certain way. [I believe that no matter how many times…
- December 9th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Slime Time.
I don’t think J. was too pleased with my post about his boy poop, so in an effort to balance things out, I decided to write a post that paints him in a better light.* After reading the boy poop…
- December 7th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
The Art Of Communicating.
Things happen as we grow older. If we’re lucky, we learn some stuff and we grow emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. Our lives change, our bodies change, our thoughts change. As time pas…
- December 6th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
We’ve Been Together On The Astral Plane.
Something awful has happened and I worry that I might need to end things and kick J. out of the house. No, he didn’t cheat. No, he didn’t hire a hit-man to kill me. It’s far worse th…
- December 3rd, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Before You Got Too Cool.
As a rule, I’m usually very cold. I like to torture J. by placing my freezing hands on his neck. He flinches and says, “Ewww, it’s like you’re dead!” We go through this n…
- December 2nd, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
A Letter To: The Whole World
Dear Parents, Family Members, Friends & the rest of the World, I love my dogger. I love her mostly because she isn’t a child. Sure, she is spoiled like any child of mine would be, if I had o…
- November 30th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Taoist Warlock.
There are certain things in life we must do, even though we wish we didn’t have to do them. For example, going to the gynecologist. Before your vaginas crawl up into your lower abdomen, relax. T…
- November 28th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
The Queeze.
The Dogger is smart. And I’m not just saying that because she’s right here under the desk keeping my feet warm. I’m saying that because it’s totally true. She understands so ma…
- November 25th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
TAKE THAT!
Friends, something extraordinary happened this morning involving me being vindicated. There may have even been some public cheering involved. Before I get to that, let me back up a little. A few weeks…
- November 24th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
The Short Way.
I was a slight overachiever when I was younger. Wait. Is there such a thing as a slight overachiever? Anyway, I did very well in school. I liked being the teacher’s pet. I was active in school-r…
- November 21st, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Siberian Punch.
The other morning, I was trying to find something to watch on TV because Good Morning America was talking about Sarah Palin, which makes my ears bleed. As I was flipping through the channels, I saw th…
- November 20th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Percolator!
If you’ve never noticed, I have a small list of links over on the left-hand side of my page. I didn’t want to say I had a “blogroll” over on the my “sidebar” of my…
- November 15th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
A Letter To: Charities
Dear Charities, I am all for giving. After all, I’ve read The Secret. And sure, at first I thought that I would read the book, make a wish and it would come true. After reading it, I got the big…
- November 14th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Photo Post: Birthday Infusion
Yesterday was my birthday. Unfortunately, it was also an infusion day. At first, I was pretty bummed out [yes, I still use that phrase. I refuse to join the "FML" club because I hate every stupid text…
- November 12th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
A Letter To: MTV
Dear MTV, Oh MTV, why? Why must you keep filming your shitty “reality” shows here? Sure, I’ve complained before about you taking over our beach for your stupid MTV Beach House……
- November 10th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Photo Post: Laughing Dogger
When I was little, our dog was just… well, a dog. Now that I’m much older and have a Dogger of my own, I appreciate her as a member of my family and not just a “pet”. She has a…
- November 9th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Where Are You Going, My Beautiful Friend?
Several years ago, I needed a root canal done. I went to the dentist, he gave me Novocaine, waited the normal amount of time it takes to get you numb and then he started. My mouth was numb but it sort…
- November 7th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Party In My Tummy.
Every so often, I feel sorry for myself. I know that’s pretty retarded but it’s real. Like, sometimes I feel hurt when I don’t hear from people for a while. Or, another perfect examp…
- November 6th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Bomb The System.
By now, unless you live on another planet [like my Mom, who SWEARS she saw Bob Marley perform in Jamaica in 1992] you’ve probably heard about the Ralph Lauren model, Filippa Hamilton-Palmstierna…
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Yellow Buses!
Guys, I tried. I really did. I tried to leave my blog layout for longer than two months and just couldn’t do it. It bothered me. I know, I know – I said I was committed to that last one an…
- November 3rd, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Congrats On Getting Those Crackers!
I was sitting in the living room this morning, in my big comfy chair [trying not to cry while watching the ladies of Diet Tribe accomplish things like swimming in the ocean and riding roller coasters]…
- November 2nd, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
We’ve Ended Our Reign.
My Mom and I are so different from each other in just about every way possible, aside from our passive-aggressive behavior. She loves to shop. She likes shirts that have glittery, sparkly things all o…
- October 31st, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Poncho And Boots.
I grew up in this town from the ages of 6 months until I went away to college [twice]. I moved back here after college because well, it’s an awesome place to live. We are only an hour South of N…
- October 30th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
He Prances Across The Street.
I’ve written about my dogger many times on this site. [there's an entire category devoted to her.] I’ve also mentioned that she was on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Well, the 32 pa…
- October 29th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Oh, Where’s Your Ship?
Friends, I’m about to tread a very fine line. This post could very easily push me over the boundary of being self-deprecating and move me into whining territory. So, I’m going to stop righ…
- October 28th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Retrograde!
J . and I recently purchased the Wii Fit Plus. I think it’s great fun and provides an excellent source of never-ending means in which J. and I can make fun of each other. If you can get past the…
- October 25th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Tex Mex.
I’m normally not a lazy person. In fact, I’m pretty ritualistic with tasks- to the point of being upset if I am feeling too lazy to do anything. There are some times, however, where I thin…
- October 23rd, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Really Sorry ‘Bout Your Band
I’m the sort of person who has very random, weird things happen to her. I’ll give you a few examples: When I was about 6 years old, I was in my Mom’s car, returning from the store.…
- October 22nd, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Buddies Of The Highest Calibur.
I was getting my eyebrows waxed this morning. I hadn’t had them waxed in over a month and a half I was starting to resemble a bear. Anyway, two of the girls that work in the salon were talking a…
- October 21st, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Knocker-Downer.
Before I get started, I should say that this post has potential to branch off into several different tangents. I’m going to try and not have that happen with the hopes that whomever is reading t…
- October 20th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Here In Filth
As I start any blog post that gives a little tidbit of what is going on inside my mind, I experience a brief moment of “Oh shit, these people I don’t know are going to think I’m nuts…
- October 16th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
You Hobknobber, You!
We had a party a couple of weekends ago and the girls were [drunk] and huddled in my kitchen talking about our ages while the boys were [sober] and out back talking about whatever it is guys talk abou…
- October 15th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
A Letter To: Dove
Dear Dove, I think your campaign to showcase “real” women is a wonderful idea. And recently, your commercial about “girls being pressured” to be pretty, thin, etc has been bomb…
- October 14th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
I Can’t Cut.
I feel extremely special because Carissa Jaded has given me an award. That’s the award! Right up there! Now, I was given an award once before, but it was given to me by someone who is crazy so…
- October 13th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Landmark!
I’ve been super excited about coming across some new, really funny blogs. The Intergeek is filled with so many Mommy Bloggers, that I find myself yawning when reading most of their blogs. And I…
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Are You Down With The Up?
I read an article online this morning that pertained to “performing oral sex”. Unfortunately, I didn’t retain any information as to what the article was actually about because I was…
- October 8th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Darth Vader-Like.
Allie from Hyperbole-And-A-Half tagged me for this meme. If you’ve never been to her blog, you should definitely check it out. She is absolutely hysterical. How it works: I am supposed to come u…
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Punch Buggy.
I’m not sure what it is about Whoopi Goldberg, but when I see her face, I want to punch it. And if she also happens to open up her mouth, I want to punch her even harder. And that was before her…
- October 5th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Cosmically Linked!
I don’t ever “go with the flow” and I’m not sure I even like that expression. Sure, maybe a long time ago, pre-CD, I was semi-go-with-the-flow, but I no longer can be. Everythi…
- October 4th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Funeral Part Two.
Back in August, I wrote about this picture falling out of a library book that I was reading. It had me so stumped because clearly, it’s a pretty weird photo. I vowed back then to someday, someho…
- September 27th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Have, Not On.
I often have the mentality of an 11 year old boy. I squirm and want to die when I hear girls say they are “on their period” – as if it was some awesome amusement park ride you climb…
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Pee Nazi.
I know that I am hyper-sensitive about germs- moreso than the average person. This is mostly because I am on a course of treatment in which my immune system is basically being shut off. And what that…
- September 24th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Check What Came First.
Over the years, I’ve learned that I will never win an argument with my Dad. It’s not that I’m never right; it’s just that he feels he’s never wrong. When I was younger, I…
- September 20th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Vampire Girls.
If you have visited this blog over the past week or so, you might have thought I was blog-schizophrenic. Almost every day there was a different theme. You see, that’s why the Internet is magic.…
- September 17th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
A Pre-packaged What?
Do you play online games? Wait. Let me be more specific. I’m not asking if you play those weird role-playing games where you meet up twice a year in some park with a bunch of your “friends…
- September 16th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
We All Want To Be Prince.
It might be because I own a music blog that everyone has been asking me what I thought about the Kanye West/Taylor Swift debacle from the VMAs this past Sunday night. I’m not even going to link…
- September 13th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Never In A Million Years, Homie.
As the two of you [or is it one?] reading this know, I go to the hospital regularly for infusions. It’s an annoyance and a hassle, but in a time when most people are bitching about their health…
- September 10th, 2009
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OhHeyHi has posted a new entry on: Blogs Are For Losers
Upside Down In Reverse.
I am not afraid to say that I like watching [some] reality TV. I like the competitive ones, but I have watched some of the dumber ones as well. I realize that by admitting publicly that yes, I did wat…
