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New post about how twitter saved my life: bit.ly/8oMS7c Okay, part of that might be only true-ish.

@MaggieDammit Life is fragile, absolutely. But having lost almost all family to cancer, I'm going with "Screw you, cancer." Hang in, babe.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

{ain't it the truth} RT @dooblehvay: One should never regret the choices made on a mixtape.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@stephanieelliot I finally wrote about practically losing my finger (well, -ish) and you're in it! bit.ly/8oMS7c

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

How to Gain Twitter Followers in 10 Easy yet Totally Painful and Not-Even-Worth-It Steps bit.ly/8oMS7c (new post!)

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

RT @BlogNoshMag It's not actually ab changing a flat tire. It could be ab parenting, economy... read to the end. bit.ly/5cTVVC

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

If I had money, I'd be your Secret Santa and surprise you with all those "oh how I covet" gift wishes you tweet.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@GoonSquadSarah You are missing some zeros there.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

RT @jylMomIF Join #gno live from NOLA 2nite (9-11 ET) as we celebrate holiday giving w/ #macy’s & #path2peace bit.ly/8knoi5 PLS RT

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

BTW am I the only one that plucks stray chin hairs while in good lighting of school pickup line? Hm? I'm here to entertain, folks.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

As it turns out, sleeping 3 hrs a night is not good for you. Brain sputtering to a stop. #babiesarefun

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@mommyinstincts I have free shipping plus a discount on @tinyprints! bit.ly/velveteenbaby

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

RT @MaggieDammit: Prob w History degree is days U can't shake feeling you forgot something like milk. Or pants. Nope! It's Pearl Harbor day.

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@jennyitup Reminds me of @sweetney! Some big fan should buy that for her. tinyurl.com/yaazvj9

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/si9om - Next time my husband tempts me to prove something ab my baby weight, I know where to find the snipper.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/si8ah - Oh good grief. This hurts like one mean mother ucker.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/si7pu - Last look at the wedding band. Damn.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

As I entered reason for visit as "ring stuck..." I really wished I had something more scandalous than "on finger."

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

At ER that promises in+out in 33 min. We shall see, huh? I really suck, people. So embarrassed.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/shoas - At least I have cute company while I wait. Thanks for help ya'll! Hot mess, I know.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@debroby Aw man! This really sucks. Thanks. Moving on to Plan K.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/shks1 - FYI it slid right on w engagement ring, I HAVE heard of manicures, I swear I have small fingers! Meanwhile...

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Now I'm just in pain and trying not to cry. Tried Windex, olive oil, cold, height. Husb said to ice for while then floss trick. So mad.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/shecm - Soon-to-be ex-husband now referring to my efforts as squirrel-in-a-trap. Breathing and plotting homicide.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/shaef - Only bc I love you ppl- Me freezing outside, hand up, looking for busload of buttery strippers to pass.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

twitpic.com/sh9ch - Just in case you think I'm faking for lots of replies. Last photo before it's amputated, I swear.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

So far I need to freeze my hand and rub it on a tall oily buttery flossing stripper. Gotcha. Keep 'em coming. I'm not crying yet.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@rockdrool You could hear me saying "This is not My Big Fat Greek Finger!" couldn't you? Okay. Keep 'em coming.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Husband had me try on wedding bands for 1st time since pregnant. Claustrophobic panic attack as THEY WON'T COME OFF! Halp!

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@Tastelikecrazy For whatever reason I read that as "household has major emotional issues." Felt really bad for your cold reboot for a min.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

ear Keyboar , I coul really use the "d" key (smash smash scream!) to work this week. Seriously. on't have time for this, ickwad.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Had you been constantly refreshing my profile this morning, you'd have seen me reword my bio 97 times. I had some coffee.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@MommyMelee What? You weren't taken by Paul Rudd slappin' da bass?!

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@jsmooth995 Look for a DM from me tonight when the boys wake up screaming. #SantasSnakeTweetsAreNoHelp

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Now informed by boys that Santa can't see them bc he isn't magic. Proof? No wand. Damn you, Potter!

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@themomsmith That's exactly what happened to my 3yr old. - twitpic.com/sbx6f

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Because I've always wondered what Sam thought of Carly naming the show after herself, we're SO watching iQuit iCarly!

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Husband just informed me he's never been so angry he needed to go dance + do gymnastics in his acid wash jeans. #FootlooseMadeSenseAtTheTime

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Just wasted an embarrassing amount of time Googling if Louie Vito from DWTS has touch of dwarfism. Caffeine + me = UNproductive and shallow.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@babysteph And by "play the Mother Card" I mean not say anything and worry about being a butt about it. Bc yeah, no idea what I would say.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@babysteph Most impossible bit is when it's family. Everyone wants to be the "one." We have to play the Mother Card but it's touchy. Pout.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@babysteph I would be very sad. In fact, tho not expensive, I'm making SURE I give Olive her 1st Barbie this Christmas. I want that memory.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Drank real coffee for 1st time in long time this a.m. Naturally, Olive is finally asleep yet I'm wired. Somewhere the gods are laughing.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

{adore you} RT @babysteph Received @VelveteenMind's baby announcement [LOVE!] and a Christmas card from @MommyMelee! Good mail is so cheery.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

I sure hope the gay community is down w 'In and Out' (Kevin Kline! On USA rt now) bc I love this movie.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@MrsNatalie One of my fave parts of doing this w @TinyPrints is swapping cards + show husband how real ya'll are.

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

{love this!} RT @MrsNatalie: @VelveteenMind I came home to your birth announcement on the fridge and husband asking, "who had a baby!?"

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

Again this Christmas I ask the eternal ?: What is a pixie dust spreader on the Tilt-a-Whirl? #loveUncleEddie

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

@bluefroggie @sugarjones So excited! Thank you! I can't wait to see it. Did you mail me yours if you have one this year? (address on blog)

VelveteenMind has updated her twitter:

{say you do!} RT @rbucich Another batch of birth announcements 4 @velveteenmind getting printed today, want one? bit.ly/velveteenbaby

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