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- November 21st, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
When I was Seven Years Old ...
When I was seven years oldIt was a very good yearIt was a very good year for small town boysWith hopes and dreamsAnd plentiful schemesIt seemed all was goldWhen I was seven years oldWhen I was in my t…
- November 19th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Zen and the art of Computer Coding - or - "Do you want fries with that?"
To non coders, a computer program seems almost like a work of magic: somehow, a collection of simple words - like DO WHEN CASE FOR UNTIL CONTINUE - in a computer file can be "run" and will do stuff. I…
- November 16th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Say, do you Play Basketball?
I have to submit daily to three questions (unless I cower at home all day):How tall are you, like seven foot?Do you play basketball? What's the weather like up there?If I'm in a gay club, there's the…
- November 8th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
No Title
I never thought I'd see the day where I'd drive over to West Hollywood without doing my hair, a cap barely clinging to my head. (My head is, as with all other parts of my body, oversized, and…
- November 7th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
A Quantum Deity
A little known fact about quantum mechanics is that it disproves God's omniscience. Now, we all know that a watched pot never boils. What does this have to do with God's omniscience? Well, did you als…
- November 6th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Manic Panic
I think it's possible the the people who are most wary around people with bipolar disorder, apart from those people - such as my boyfriend - who have previously got caught in the crossfire, are other…
- October 30th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
I\'ve Done Something
One of the currents in my book (which will soon likely have to be removed from my website - but more on that in a second) is the search for achievement. The course of my life took a dramatic bad turn…
- October 28th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
- October 20th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
The Deep Breath Before the Plunge
(In Montreal, last week.)Our brief visit to Montreal - our only vacation of the year - was, in the words of Gandalf, "the deep breath before the plunge." I came back knowing that I had just over two…
- October 18th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Better Photos from Black & Blue
So my first genuine circuit party has come and gone. Well, I should rephrase that, it was the first circuit party where I flew to a city on a date that specifically coincided with a circuit party. Sin…
- October 14th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
- October 13th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
- October 6th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Bonjour le Matelot
For those who don't know (I didn't despite 11 years of French), a "Matelot" is a sailor. Ben and I are going on our one and only vacation this year, a short trip to Montreal, and it's all but free due…
- October 4th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
What Crawls Beneath
The vast black hole that ate away the late summer of 2006, when I had my immense manic episode, continues to slowly radiate (a la Hawking) lost information, even now, three years later. I was at such…
- September 27th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Where is the Boundary?
I was sitting on the toilet today. This was at the Beverly Center, a posh mall in West Hollywood, but it wasn't a particularly posh toilet. A Mexican janitor was sweeping the floor (not in my cubicle)…
- September 24th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Father Time
My problem, I think, is that I require at least six hours of sleep, preferably seven. I don't know how other busy people manage time, but unless I'm able to do like Margaret Thatcher, and get by with…
- September 19th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
My Baby Sister
(With Kirstie in Antelope Valley, and our beloved Indira, this spring.)... is probably the person I get along with best and like in the whole wide world, apart from, obviously Ben. Kirstie and I have…
- September 18th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
No, It's Not About Race
Every now and then, something in a newspaper or a magazine spurs me to write a letter to the editor. To my knowledge, only one of my thunderbolts has ever been published, and that was in the 80s, to n…
- September 17th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Are You Getting Enough Fluids?
Unlike the case for many blogs, I'm unlikely to use this space to regurgitate interesting of funny pieces of information from other media. But today I make an exception on account of Hydracoach, a min…
- September 16th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Unmagical Thinking
It's incredibly tedious to have your moods dictated by physical processes in your brain over which you have no control. Everything in my life is so good right now, relatively speaking, yet day in, day…
- September 9th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Performing Open-Heart Surgery on Myself
It occurred to me yesterday (and not for the first time), that I'm somewhat like Mr. Spock. Ironic. I used to go to sleep as a child and hope upon hope that I'd wake up and find I was Mr. Spock. Fasci…
- September 2nd, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
The Meaning of Crazy
I often think about the word "crazy", and even identify with it. I came across a review of a movie in the New York Times, a comedy – if that is possible – about a bipolar guy. The reviewer describ…
- August 30th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Connected
Party harder is the mantra of the moment. I should calibrate that statement: I'm using "party" in an old-fashioned sense, not in the current gay-circuit-party-get-wasted-on-drug sense. This weekend al…
- August 27th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
The Surprise
(Our buddies.)For a couple of weeks, I've been surreptitiously working with Zeynep, a dynamo of a Turkish grad student in Ben's lab, to plan a surprise birthday party for Ben, this Tuesday night. I ha…
- August 24th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Writing Spock, and Other Endeavors
The last few months have been great at work. I'm doing work that's valuable to my company, that's extremely intellectually taxing, that is creative and will be part of something permanent. Like any b…
- August 21st, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
What Have I Done to Deserve This
(A recent photo. Not too shabby for forty-five. Photoshop helps with the wrinkles and furrows, of course.)No, for once I'm not talking about depression. I was transported again this morning by the inc…
- August 20th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Fug
It's so deeply frustrating. Every day this week, I've begun the day feeling great, full of life and energy, with a veritable spring to my step. But it's not maintained. Gradually, as the morning progr…
- August 19th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Job for Life
Oh lord, I haven't written in over a week, despite my new intention to try to write every day. The usual excuses are hereby presented. I'm awfully busy at work. This monster that I've created for my s…
- August 10th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
It's Complicated
Yesterday, we had brunch with Dean, and it occurred to me I had no idea what my closest friend's spiritual beliefs were, apart from the bare outlines that I knew of his interest in Buddhism. I'm in a…
- August 8th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
An Arts and Crafts Afternoon
The contrast between our two Saturday afternoon activities, all "arts and crafts" related, was quite funny. In the early afternoon, Ben spray painted my torso with body-paint. We are practicing for a…
- August 7th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Not an Ordinary Day
Since I don't want to write about depression all the time (and I'm damned sure YOU don't want to hear about depression all the time), and I'm not always overflowing with ideas begging to be expressed,…
- August 3rd, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
The Great Smile Experiment
The mind is a powerful thing. Since you spend all day inside it, you should probably learn how to wield its power. It struck me recently that the part of my life that isn't working - really the only p…
- August 2nd, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Parallel Universes as Far as the Eye can't See
Ben and I both have a sort of addiction to reading serious books about cosmology, and, in particular, theories of everything - the attempt to delve into the nittiest of the gritty to figure out what s…
- July 27th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
A Weekend at Home (Mostly)
I had a decidedly quiet weekend. That is, until Sunday night. On Friday, we both worked, then went to the gym in the evening, and, by the time we got home, it was time for dinner, and our evening comf…
- July 26th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
- July 25th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Cruising the Aisles
You wouldn't think a supermarket could be a "destination", but to the denizens of the five miles around downtown West Hollywood, the new, completely rebuilt Pavillons, which opened on Thursday, is the…
- July 23rd, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
The Story So Far
A new second chapter from my book, replacing pages and pages of rather dry backgound information.Book I – The Story So Far Chapter 1 - A Brief History of a Person What is a person? How did I be…
- July 20th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
- July 18th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
A Day in the Life of The Thing
8.00 Saturday.Weather conditions: sparkling blue sky clear of clouds, rain clouds threaten. It's nice to wake up to such conditions, despite the threat of rain. I'm talking not about the real weather,…
- July 16th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Ebb and Flow
There are good days, and there are bad days. My physical depression, which has recently returned, is a constant, although it has yet to become so pervasive that it seriously affects my mood. The way t…
- July 14th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
An English Gentleman in Hollywood
I’m offering some reflections on the bad side of LA, the mirror-like surface against which people preen, the thing about LA that everybody “knows”. This morning at Golds Gym, Hollywood, Dennis R…
- July 13th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
- July 12th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
My Homoerotic Photography Book is Out!
(One of the photos in my new photography book.)It's available now at Blurb. Click link below. A Body of Work:…
- July 11th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Keeping It at Bay
Ben went this morning to a conference in Vancouver, and will be gone five days. It's not ideal timing for me, since I'm on the cusp of depression. This morning when I came back from dropping him off a…
- July 10th, 2009
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brokenwhole has posted a new entry on: broken whole - 6'6 Hollywood Circuit Boy
Ugh, It's Back
Well, I had a good run. Something like two months, depression free. And, with inevitability, the bipolar cycle seems to have swung under the baseline. I've been noticing it for almost a couple of week…
- July 6th, 2009
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brokenwhole has updated his facebook:
