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  • December 19th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Does this dishwasher have a chisel setting?
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Pamplona? Pfft. You should try the daily, death defying, *stairway running of the cats*.
  • December 18th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I got a bill from the State of Iowa for a 2007 tax error. Isn't there a statute of limitations on the Dept of Revenue being a prick?
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    It's not bad enough I'm actually eating a Hot Pocket so the box suggests I carry it around and eat it from the paper sleeve for all to see.
  • December 17th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    @sista_flapjack you're in my thoughts. I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • December 16th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Oh Walmart, it's so cute how you think your *bakery* cinnamon rolls, still chilled from being in the cooler, are "fresh" and "gourmet".
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    @BigShoesNetwork Motel 6
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    @Shitty_Kitty my life is going fast and *furrious* heh!
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    It's a clear sign you need a life when 90% of your conversations are about the cats. With the cats.
  • December 15th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    The only redeeming quality this -20 degree windchill has is the ability to make +20 degrees seem balmy.
  • December 14th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    @Kathy_L I like to use the official designation QOS-Queen of Snark.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Being single means never having to share your Sun Chips.
  • December 13th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Thank goodness Sephora sent me that special offer. Now I can be the prettiest penniless, homeless hoboette around.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you lie about it on your resume." -me
  • December 12th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Today's formerly white T-shirt courtesy of the color red with special appearances by cherry-limeade drink mix, red hair dye, and blood.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I nearly broke the scoop cleaning out the litter boxes this morning. Apparently I need a bigger scoop or smaller cats.
  • December 11th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    It's a tiny, colored sticky note *and* a label?? That's ingeniously and diabolically two office product obsessions in one!
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Old school, men's foot care--why use a Ped Egg or pumice stone when there's perfectly good sandpaper in the house.
  • December 10th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    No, *YOU* obsessively match your pen to the notebook you're writing in.
  • December 9th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I did the splits today! On the ice. In the street. For all to see. Needless to say I'm putting street performer on my resume.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    @wifeoftj smart boy. I should do the same.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    You know what really chaps my ass? Bitter cold temperatures. No really, hand me the lotion.
  • December 8th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Life Alert could attract a whole new audience if they'd add life saving pizza delivery to their service.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Dad, thanks for buying dry cat food but a tiny five lb. bag is only an appetizer for 50 lbs. of cats. Don't turn your back on them.
  • December 7th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    So, guys don't care if their moobs are uneven?? Gah, what a total lack of personal standards.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Confusing flagellation and flatulation is understandable.They're both forms of punishment.
  • December 6th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    My judgment may be clouded, but I assume the appropriate way to deal with a chronic sniffler is to smother them in their sleep.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Does Febreeze make an odor eliminator plug-in for cat butts yet?
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    @highfiredanger adorbs kitteh pic!
  • December 5th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I'm learning a lot living here in rural America. For example, hot pink and camouflage *do* go together.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Rumor has it that a fat, jolly man is in town today. Probably for a Weight Watchers meeting.
  • December 4th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I put the *quease* in Cuisinart.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I've discovered that the USPS has left out an entire category in its published shipping rates. Specifically, a metric shit ton.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I supported Specialty Purebred Cat Rescue... by voting for them to win $25k with #chasegiving. bit.ly/49nERk
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I can track my dad through the house just by the lights he leaves on.
  • December 3rd, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    No matter how soft and warm, I can't, in good conscience, buy a Turkish robe and leave all those Turkeys cold and naked.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I'm afraid at my current size the pencil skirt is actually more of a jumbo crayon skirt.
  • December 2nd, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    @bapartofmylife thanks!
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    One of the cats popped my exercise ball with his claws. Obviously he wants me to be fat. Presumably so there's more of me to eat when dead.
  • December 1st, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    The dust bunnies are the only things around here that run faster from the vacuum than the cats.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    These microwave cooking instructions should have read--*Cook until contents cover the entire inside of your microwave*.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I used to think I couldn't multi-task, but this morning I was able to simultaneously spill coffee *and* exclaim, "fuckity fuck!"
  • November 28th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Absolutely I want the free gift wrap for the item I'm ordering for myself that has nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas. Cuz duh, *free*.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I've posted new floral and cat designs in my Zazzle store! I'd love for you to check them out: bit.ly/5B7Veb
  • November 27th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Every online retailer known to man has somehow crawled into my email inbox to die.
  • November 26th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    Okay, I'll admit it. I'd go to a 3:00 a.m. sale...if they served cocktails and gave away money and free kittens. That's not happening is it?
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    The only turkey I want to see fried today is the one that gave me the germs making me sick on a holiday.
  • November 25th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I've been here at the Vet's office so long i'm going to list it as my emergency contact.
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    This sneezy, runny nose isn't all bad. I've vastly improved my tissue/wastebasket shooting percentage.
  • November 24th, 2009
  • chatblanc

    chatblanc has updated her twitter:

    I know I shouldn't be surprised but... A milk cooler door handle held on only by duct tape? Really Walmart? Stay classy.
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