evanratt's profile kumquat / 29, Male / Member since January 2008 / Last seen 2 months ago
Born to migrant Eskimo rutabega farmers, kumquat led a simple life until his late teen years. Sold by his tribe to a traveling circus to pay for cable TV, he performed as a bear riding a unicycle for 2 and a half years. After authoring The Satanic Verses under a pseudonym and incurring the wrath of a nation, kumquat went into even deeper hiding by masquerading as a professional canoe tosser. Unfortunately, with the downturn in the competitive canoe-tossing fanbase, he had to face a serious question: should he continue pursuing his dream, even if it meant living a life of squalor, or was it time to pursue new adventures?
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