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- September 28th, 2009
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foodhere is celebrating his birthday today!
- July 21st, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
And this time I will try to stay gone..
Hello and greetings from Gravel Bay. After some careful thought, I’ve decided that Ram has run his course (and a few extra laps as well…I think I should have stopped when John-Sam “j…
- July 18th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Sharing Stories During a Prison Lock Down
Welcome one and all to Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary. You picked a fine day to visit, as there is a considerable amount of excitement in the air. While the morning started off calmly enough…
- July 12th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
An Appealling Lawyer
Welcome to the Prison Diary of Ram Venkatararam. I trust that the frisking you received on your way in was not too unpleasant. I had a another surprise visit today! This time, from Ms. Meredith Ch…
- July 9th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
A Visit From My Unstable Mistress
Greetings from the tiny cell of Ram Venkatararam. I appreciate your taking the time to visit with me. Today my unstable mistress, Lawrene Hoover, arrived unexpectedly at Gravel Bay and requested an au…
- July 6th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Cold Cuts on Death Row
Good evening and welcome to my prison blog. I am grateful for your visit and appreciative of the opportunity to share my observations on life in Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary. Unfortunately…
- July 3rd, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Dispatching My Enemy
Welcome to Gravel Bay Maximum Security Prison and the diary of menace to society, Ram “the Milkman” Venkatararam. I am considerably more relaxed today now that my prison enemy, Tracy, has been rem…
- June 30th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
The Horns on His Head Were Subtle and His Eyes Were Cold and Vacant
Greetings from Cell J-928 and welcome to the Prison Diary of Ram Venkatararam. As regular visitors will know, I was recently subject to my first prison stabbing. While I appear to have survived the at…
- June 28th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
My First Prison Stab Wound
Greetings from the Gravel Bay Prison Infirmary. Yes, that’s right, infirmary! I am currently enjoying a little well-earned rest, relaxation and subsidized medical attention while I recover from an e…
- June 25th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Delivering Ham and Cheese Sandwiches to Death Row
Hello from Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary and the prison musings of convicted kidnapper Ram Venkatararam. (A momentary digression – I will never be comfortable with the term “kidnapp…
- June 22nd, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
The Trouble with Tracy
Good evening from Cell Block “J.” I appreciate your stopping by Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary for a visit. (If you plan on returning, I would appreciate it if you could tuck a small amo…
- June 20th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
No Longer Proudly Fluffing and Folding Your Prison Underpants
Welcome to Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary and the prison diary of Ram “the milkman” Venkatararam. (My sincere thanks to zman for the assistance in coming up with an appropriate p…
- June 16th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Forget the Tattoo, It’s Time For a Prison Nickname
After some deliberation I have decided to decline the offer of Cleavon the arsonist to provide me with a prison tattoo. I realize that being “ink-free” will continue to set me apart from my heavil…
- June 13th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
7 Fingers, 1 Eye and A Ten Knuckle Tattoo
Hello and welcome to my tiny cell from deep within the bowels of Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary. Since I last posted I have been busy attempting to widen my circle of inmate acquaintances. W…
- June 10th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
So Long Alvin, Try Not To Kill Anyone Your First Day Out!
Hello and welcome back to the prison diary of Ram Venkatararam. I am pleased that you are able to take time out of your busy schedule to pay a short visit to my cell. (I would ask you to press your br…
- June 7th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
It’s Not Like I Want to be Violated, But it Would be Nice to be Asked
Hello and best wishes from Cell Block “J.” It is often difficult for me to describe exactly what life in prison is like. Some days the air is thick with tension and the cells are abuzz with notion…
- June 4th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Letters from an Unstable Mistress
Pleasant greetings from Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary. Today, I received a second letter from Lawrene Hoover, a twenty-something mother of seven who apparently followed the details of my ar…
- June 1st, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
…And This Little Piggy was Cut Off and Served in a Salad
Welcome back to Block “J” and the prison diary of wrongfully convicted and rightfully indignant, Ram Venkatararam. The last 72 hours have been charged with drama. In the short period of time since…
- May 29th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Romper Stomper Room
Greetings from the inner workings of Hell commonly referred to as Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary. I admit to being a tad melancholy today and apologize in advance if I fail to provide entert…
- May 26th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Selecting an Appropriate Prison Gang Affiliation
In my short time as a guest of Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary I have learned a great deal about inmate etiquette and how to properly comport oneself in prison. There are many nuances importa…
- May 23rd, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Who Says Killers Get All the Girls?
Mail day at Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary always raises the spirits of my incarcerated colleagues. There is nothing like letter from mom, a note from the kids, or a photo of your girlfriend…
- May 20th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
My List of Prison Grievances
With my first month of imprisonment drawing to a close, I feel that the time is right for me to compile my list of grievances and present them to Warden Kelly. I have not yet had an opportunity to spe…
- May 17th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Judge Wapner Would Have Jumped at the Chance
I am beginning to see more and more positives in my current role as inmate of Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary. While I realize that expressing contentment may sound odd, I would ask you to c…
- May 14th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
The Violent Psychopath Lovingly Known as “Mad Dog”
Hello from Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary, cell block “J”. Tuesday evening marked the return of my cell mate, Mad Dog, and our first meeting since my unfortunate incarceration. As you m…
- May 11th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
The Long Awaited Arrival of My Cell-Mate, Mad Dog
Cell block “J” of Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary today welcomes the return of Mad Dog to our motley ranks. Mad Dog, my hitherto unseen cellmate, has been in solitary confinement for a n…
- May 9th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Getting your Whites Whiter in the Prison Laundry
I really need to write a letter to someone in a position of authority. After only a few days into my stint as a prisoner at Gravel Bay Maximum Security Prison I am already encountering bureaucratic bu…
- May 6th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
How to Make Friends and Influence Juries
Greetings once again from Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary. In my prior post I detailed the circumstances surrounding my arrest for felony kidnapping charges. Today, I will relate to you the u…
- May 3rd, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Perhaps “Doctor” Hoppenstetter Would Have Been a Wiser Choice
Hello and welcome back to the prison diary of Ram Venkatararam. Today, the story of my arrest. Those familiar with my prior life will know that just a few short weeks ago I was a happy-go-lucky conven…
- May 1st, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Welcome To Prison: An Orange Jumpsuit and a Savage Beating
Greetings from Gravel Bay Maximum Security Penitentiary and welcome to the prison diary of Ram Venkatararam. I trust that the frisking you received on the way in was brief but pleasurable. I have been…
- April 11th, 2009
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foodhere has posted a new entry on: The Food Here Convenience Store
Let’s all go to the Prison…
Greetings all! Ram will be returning to this site in May 2009 with the “Prison Diary of Ram Venkatararam.” In the interim, please continue looting and pillaging the Food Here Convenience S…
