fromaroom's Activity Feed // Bloggers // BlogCatalog

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

5

What else can we say? I say we, I mean to say, What else can you tell me? Is that what I mean? Or do I mean, What can I say to you, through you? What can I record, that is, that won’t be a failure t…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

4

I’ll describe my first meeting with my downstairs neighbour, barring objections. No? Good. He was sitting on a step in the stairwell, head bobbing between his knees. I’m drunk, he said as I ascend…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

3

Dusk now. To tell the truth if I must, I’ve always been afraid of it, summer or winter, autumn or spring. Melancholy in spring, outright blackness in winter. Of course it comes sooner in winter. Som…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

2

There was the girl, for example, the one I lived with, and the other, the one I didn’t. And the time before all that, when I was less old, when I took to leaving my room and walking the streets like…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

1

It was winter when I returned to my room at the cheap end of the coast. I’d forgot it would be, for I’d got myself in the habit of losing track of the months and as far as possible of the seasons,…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

No Title

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

No Title

From among many sorts of failure each selects the one which least compromises his self-respect: which lets him down the lightest. – Lawrence Durrell, The Alexandria Quartet

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Nothing that is not false

Decidedly this evening I shall say nothing that is not false, I mean nothing that is not calculated to leave me in doubt as to my real intentions. – Beckett, Malone Dies

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

How do I start?

‘How do I start, what do I want to say in these words? And once started how to end? Start with a question, that’s as good a start as any. This question leads to a second question. And then? The vo…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Go fuck yourself

X tells me he’ll never give up, he’ll never give in to me. It’s like when he was young and he imagined his older self looking back on himself with a patronising smile. It’s like his father’s…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

You’ll pay

The humiliation, says X. That he should end up like this, at my hands, like a dog that looks around not knowing he’s about to be put down. Like a dog. You’ll pay for this, he says, one way or anot…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

In you

‘You show yourself only by masking yourself. In you my power becomes my powerlessness and my end my beginning.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

In error

X approaches and tells me he’s never escaped this feeling of being in error. Something went badly wrong somewhere and he helped it go wrong and I won’t help him make it right. Why won’t you? he…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Toppling

‘Can I remember the time before you? Before you supplanted me I supplanted you, is that much clear? It was a time of false mastery, of false growth in a false clearing. So did truth arrive with you,…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

The flower of death

‘In you my end unfurls and blooms. Like a great flower of death that grows and smothers as it grows. And so my end grows into the light and my death is born over and over.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

The tide

‘This tedium that washes up and over like a slow grey tide. Only to pull me out and apart, suddenly. Which tide are you, do you wash over me or draw against me? Which do I trust?’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Hall of mirrors

‘I turn to look at you and you disappear like smoke. I speak your name and you recede through all names like a reflection in a hall of mirrors.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

[Long days, days lost in memory of you. Not the you to whom these notes are addressed, another you. Lost now as then, though more closely then. Lost except for those pockets in time that seem to remai…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Hubris and ignorance

X tells me he only reads philosophers when they rail against idiots or admit their own idiocy. Hubris and ignorance, that’s all he cares about, he says.

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

I can’t hear you

’Out of the fertile place every day to the valley of dry bones. Always this point when I can’t look back and nothing ahead. Some transformation is needed but I can’t hear you.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

A certain longing

I am touching the house in which I was born, but my hand passes through the place, leaving a residue of fog where the house was. This is the place where I was born. A certain longing was conceived her…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

The new day at last

For it if was really day again already, in some low distant quarter of the sky, it was not yet day again already in the kitchen. But that would come, Watt knew that would come, with patience it would…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

The most moving note ever written

X calls me on the verge of hysterics. They’ll find me on the floor like in a TV movie, he says, stiff and contorted. Or in a tub of red water with my arm hanging down like Chatterton’s. It w…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Fragments of Heraclites

(a). Everything flows and nothing abides; everything gives way and nothing stays fixed. 1. Although this Logos is eternally valid, yet men are unable to understand it – not only before hearing it, b…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Compromised

It’s all been compromised, X tells me, his so-called friendships, loves, thoughts, everything. I can’t even do a hard day’s work or someone a favour without getting compromised. In the dossier t…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

In the evening

In the evening they tramped out across a field trying to find a place where their fire would not be seen. Dragging the cart behind them over the ground. So little of promise in that country. Tomorrow…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Back out

‘You pulled me back out of the hole and it was like recovering from an illness, or waking from a long sleep.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Fears

I am lying in my bed five flights up, and my day, which nothing interrupts, is like a clock-face without hands. As something that has been lost for a long time reappears one morning in its old place,…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Problem

‘You’re the problem I didn’t know I had: the milestone that turns into obstacle and starting point.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

In broad daylight

The work is no longer innocent; it knows whence it comes. Or at least it knows how to seek, and in this seeking how to approach always nearer to the origin, and in this approach how to keep without fa…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Afraid

‘I address and betray you in the same breath. I lie awake and listen, since sleep too is a kind of betrayal. What do I listen for? I hear my voice say that I’m afraid, that tonight I can’t laugh…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

At war

‘We’re at war, it’s war all the time. I can only speak by damming up your currents. But I’m at war too with my own defences: I long to be broken up and swept away until your sea is smooth at l…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Close and far

‘You’re as close as that experience I once had, the one that’s closest to my heart. And you’re too far for the most general idea to reach you. You’re the strange in the common, within and be…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

No Title

Praised then be He, for when minds contemplate His Godhead, their awareness turns to incomprehension; when they consider the nexus of His acts to His will, their knowledge turns to ignorance; when ton…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

No Title

During the night, still a long time before dawn, while the walkers are going along the beach, she asks him a question she’s been wanting to ask him for several nights. ‘What you meant was that pay…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Suicide in the desert

All this time I had thought that the land was something other than me, something I sensed as if I had feelers dancing across it. Now I could see. We had the same command, driven by the same fundamenta…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Last words

X tells me he won’t bother to prepare, he won’t even bring a suitcase. He’ll do as the English do, he won’t bother taking a shower, he’ll just leave and take it as it comes. He’ll walk str…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Another you

‘The only solution I found was to talk to you. Another you, not the you I lost, but the you I’m always losing. My only way out of the hole was to talk myself into a new wider loss.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Every step I take

‘Every step I take is in you, in my death. My mouth is full of you, I breathe you in and out.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Guilty

‘I cut you down to size, make sense of you. I shape you, think I master you. These very words are guilty.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Montaigne on death

Where death waits for us is uncertain; let us look for him everywhere. The premeditation of death is the premeditation of liberty; he who has learned to die has unlearned to serve. There is nothing ev…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

My endless end

‘You’re my death and my chance to live. I can’t go back to a time before you, or forward to a time after you. Mirthless laughter. You’re my endless end, my very life.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

A woman’s voice

She wants him to remind her what she said just now when she woke up. She sometimes speaks when she’s still half-asleep, and then when she’s fully awake can’t remember what she said. But this tim…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

And wonder what I’ve said

‘You disorient me, but what do I know? I speak, I shape and scatter you like clouds in the wind, look around stupidly and wonder what I’ve said.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Joyfully

‘You take me to where I wasn’t, where I’m not and where I won’t be, joyfully.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Laughter

‘I talk to you, turn away, turn back and away again, admit I can’t dispense with you. I ask if you can dispense with me and laughter rises from mouths, mountains, trees and lakes…’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

The strange in the common

‘You’re close and alien, you stay with me in the night like a cat and in the morning rear up in front of me like a lion. You’re the vein in my neck and the silence between the stars, the strange…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Failure

‘It’s in the failure of my words that you reveal yourself – but this is wrong. It’s in the failure to name and the failure to name the failure to name that you reveal yourself – but this is…

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Overflow

‘You’re water that flows out of itself, away from itself. Where’s your spring, where’s mine? You flow into me, away from me.’

fromaroom has posted a new entry on: Notes From A Rooom

Violently bored

X tells me he could be walking through some gleaming seaside village under a serene sky, he could be dreaming under a lone oak tree, calm and content, instead of warring with himself and burning every…

fromaroom's activity feed Return to fromaroom's profile

Following