notyourmotherscrazy's profile Vanessa / Member since June 2009 / Last seen 2 months ago
My name is Vanessa. I’m 35 years old. I hated my name growing up and in the 6th grade I insisted everyone call me Tammy. No one did. I can beat my dad at backgammon even though he tries to cheat. I subscribe to the belief that no one should ever eat anything larger than their own head. I can’t believe Brett Favre plays for the Vikings.
The farthest I have ever traveled is Mexico. The farthest I have ever run is 10 miles. I hate catfish. I legitimately have a short story published. It’s crap. I don’t even own a copy of it. I can make all kinds of fancy FoodTV–like dishes. I cannot make garlic bread without burning it.
My mom cursed me by wishing upon me that I have a child exactly like me. She’s now five. My daughter, not my mom. On the subject of my mom, it seems I’ve turned into her. I bake, knit, make homemade jam and really like the way lemon Pledge smells.
I have a 142 IQ and a lifetime goal of completing the New York Times Crossword puzzle. I painted the inside of my own house. It looks really bad. I write creative non-fiction. That means I write about my life but make myself much funnier.
I have “testified” in front of House and Senate committees. I’ve never seen a single episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Old men think I am the cutest thing in the world. I think the first job I ever wanted was being Gilda Radner. I know my butt doesn’t look big in these pants.
I was the 4th grade hula hoop champion. As far as I can tell from our company family picnic last year, I am the only person in my company with the cajones or ability to hula hoop in front of others. I can even hula two hoops at one time.
I have a subscription to the New Yorker and never read it. I can speak enough Spanish to get me out of trouble or into trouble, depending on my mood.
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- Published a new blog post: 7492 comments? Really?10/07/09
- Published a new blog post: So Vanessa, what’s with the yoga?9/08/09
- Published a new blog post: And we’re back…9/04/09
- Published a new blog post: 209? Really?8/16/09
- Published a new blog post: I have mad love for Sally Field.8/10/09
- Published a new blog post: Tip of the Week: Choose your battles8/09/09
- Published a new blog post: Upping the fabulous quotient8/06/09
- Published a new blog post: Break the wrist, walk away. Break the wrist, walk away.8/05/09
- Published a new blog post: I must tell you how I love some people.8/04/09
- Published a new blog post: Tip of the Week: Be authentically who you are, you big dork.8/03/09
- Published a new blog post: I missed BlogHer. There is a void in my heart.7/31/09
- Added Part-Time Sweats Model to their favorite blogs7/31/09
- Published a new blog post: Getting my (increasingly larger) ass moving.7/29/09
- Published a new blog post: Tip of the Week: Get a Damn Hobby Already!7/27/09
- Published a new blog post: Everything as it should be.7/25/09
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