In a previous blog, I addressed some of the reasons why a partner might get “easily overwhelmed” and shut down during an argument. We discussed flooding, understanding what it was and why it is important to take a break from this highly stressful, diffuse physiological arousal state in which we have two difficult emotions that result in feeling powerless.

In this blog, I will list 50 ideas to de-escalate, deal with flooding, and calm yourself.

Talk to a friend
Plan a trip
Clean something
Pull weeds
Record your thoughts
Work with clay
Join a club
Get in touch with your Higher Power
Go see a comedy show
Take the dogs for a walk
Get out of the house by going to a park

Breathe in for 8, out for 8
Count to ten
Try guided imagery
Guided relaxation
Progressive muscle relaxation
Float in water
Take a warm bath
Get a massage, sit in a massage chair, or use a self-massage tool
Go to the spa
Sing, hum, or whistle to regulate your breathing

Yell into a pillow
Take a nap
Find a mantra or phrase that is meaningful to you and focus on it
Write yourself a letter
Try positive self-talk
Try self help books
Do some self help workbook exercises

Watch silly, funny, or cute videos
Watch the clouds
People Watch
Read a good short story, article, or book
Play a video or board game
Listen to your favorite music
Get involved in hobbies
Try a new recipe

Stretch your muscles
Go for a walk
Play a solo or group sport
Try shadow boxing or heavy bag boxing
Try Tai Chi
Practice Yoga

Micah Brady, LICSW, LCSW-C, Certified Trauma Counselor, Gottman Educator, eRYT