Well, that break went well, except I missed writing every day. I tried and I am committing myself to pulling out some of my fiction and working on it but my blog needs me, my friends need me.
You might think I don’t see you suffering in pain, and you might think I’ve left you all behind never to spare another encouraging word but it is that need that pulled me back. I need you all as much as you need my encouraging words.
Again I am not pinpointing anyone out here; my words are for many who see themselves in what I say. Pain. Who doesn’t relate to that one? Sickness! Who can’t say they haven’t been warding off a sickness these past couple of months (if not years); Not many I’m sure.
I realized something the other day and am quite honored to say that people respect me and expect a certain manner and moral compass from me. They look to me for inspiring and encouraging words and will quite surely make note of when I’ve veered off track.
I posted something on facebook the other day with a negative overtone. While everyone expects the positive and encouraging words from me, they are quick to call me on anything negative. It’s kind of funny though, for an entire year I watched people day after day (and still do) share negative and hate filled posts and no one calls them on spreading hate and negativity. They just bask in the glory of feeling good about themselves by sharing the hate with the world.
That’s when I realized something, people respect me so much and have come to expect a positive energy from me that when something appears to have a negative overtone they steer me back on the enlightened path. That’s when you know your words actually are having an effect on the masses. That’s when you know that you’ve touched the souls of many.
So by realizing people miss my words of encouragement, I of course do what I normally do and that is WRITE! I think you all miss my blog because it is like I am journaling and you like peeking in on all that is going on with my life and how much like your journey is to mine. Not in a bad nosey kind of way but a good concerned kind of way as you relate. You think to yourself, ‘I wonder how Joni is doing’ and maybe wonder what I do to get through the same pain-filled days you yourself might be trudging through. I think you might need that bit of encouragement that has left your reading days empty while I was away.
I’m back. I can’t give up writing and I certainly can’t leave you all hanging in wonder. I’ve decided to take you on this journey of discovering my medical condition so I don’t feel so alone is the process of whatever is going on with my body.
I’ll seek a doctor, I’ll get diagnosed and I’ll let you in on the homeopathic process I hope I’m allowed to take. The only way they can diagnose MS is through a spinal tap and just reading about it made me cringe, so that is a big no! An MRI okay, if it’s an open tube (I’m claustrophobic), if not, I’ll live with my disability as I’ve been doing for four almost five years now MED FREE!
I have some stuff to share and no facebook post is enough space, I NEED my blog, I NEED to write, and most of all I NEED YOU, my friends who CARE about me. So come along on my continuing journey of Christ and see where it is I’m being led to now. If you’re reading this, like it or not, God called you along for the ride!