LOBO -Predator Press
His moves are so well-practiced, the handcuffs are on me before I know it.
Blase yet clear, the cop explains. "You are under arrest for criminal trespassing."
"I object!" I says.
He rolls his eyes with the enthusiasm of a man who can tear his ACL rolling his eyes. "May I ask you why you were trying to break into the CERN Hadron Collider?"
"It came back," I says.
"It came back!" I says. "Look in my shirt pocket."
"This is a signed receipt of delivery from Fed-Ex."
"It snuck in. I was acually expecting por -eh- art movies. But it can't come in uninvited," I explain. "It's like a vampire."
"What can't come in?" he asks.
I nod my head to my backpack. "I already had it in 2006."
The cop's trepidation is palpable, and he opens it slowly. "Is it a head?"
Sweat drips from his forehead. "Is it a bomb?"
"Oh shit," the cop reals, shutting the backpack. "You got the fruitcake."
"Twice!" I point out.
"Or is it?" I says. "If you arrest me, you have to take it as evidence. That makes it yours."
"That's a lie!" he sobs, tears welling.
"I was trying to destroy it by throwing it into the CERN Hadron Collider and banishing it to a parallel universe once and for all."
"Or cause a space-time disruption that wipes out all of Existence?"