All my life, I swore I would not easily let go of the things and people in my life unless I ran out of reasons to hold on. I made an oath that I will give my might on taking care of these bonds as possible as I can and not let them die so easily. Now that I've been through a lot of both joyous and painful experiences at this moment, I could say that life could be both fulfilling and ill-fated as you never imagined. Well for me, there is only one truth behind this assumption. I could not keep everyone for good in my life, I can only keep a few, and those few I know, that I will never let go of. Here are the 3 U's, why friendships start to wither.
For a friendship to grow, friends must be able to deliberately confront and argue with each other. If one is always suppressed to clamor out how it really feels, you'll never know how badly constrained his/her feelings could be. Lack of confrontation does not simply lead to lack of communication, but lack of faith to your friend that he/she would be able to understand your concerns once confronted, hence a lack of trust and inward communication. I have learned as well that constant affirmation does not guarantee a lasting friendship. If a person does keep on affirming his/her friends without even reconsidering the rationality of their actions, then he/she is just being a loyal follower, not an honest friend that will never fear telling how bad your hair day was, or someone who does not tolerate your wrongful actions because he/she knows you better than anyone else. A worthwhile friendship keeps everyone growing, not a one-sided irrationality. A true friend will say that he/she feels raw about the things happening between the two of you, not just harshly and insolently give a cold shoulder, reinstating that you should be the first one to approach. Friendship must be able to reflect each others flaws and strengths, without having to outshine one another. A friendship does not revolve on one person. Everyone will share the lime light. If any of this fails to happen, then a person is just being a loyal follower of an uncertain friendship disguised in gaudy sunflowers.
2. Unavoidable Gap
People part ways in various reasons. Different priorities, walks of life, the fast-paced environment we are all living in. But I've always believed that despise the differences, if time permits, people would purposefully find a way to stay in our life. no matter how rough the days are. People will find the time to refocus and recover the lost times they've missed due to their busy lives, I am talking about the gap that has inevitably occurred between people. The gap can be cured, if pride is set aside, include the fact that you suddenly had the urge to see your friends after your monotonous life being preoccupied with work and mundane living. Just being able to see such familiar, loved faces could stir up the bond once again. But when a gap prolongs, the smaller the chances are. If both of the parties stop trying, a deadlock will occur, hence, the end of a once spellbound friendship. Friendship starts to wither when someone starts to get lost in the vision, no longer enjoy small talks, and grew tired of the seemingly uneventful days you spend within a dying friendship.
3. Unresolved Issues
I've always believed that silence could cut more than sordid words. Any unresolved issues towards a person without having the chance to be talked about, could be both devastating and disturbing. You keep wondering why it hopelessly ended like that, but don't rummage for an effort to fix it. You don't know if , a friend is just acting nonchalantly, or just keeping the ego, and whatnot, he/she just no longer cares anymore. Whatever the reasons are, both parties just raised the white flag, stopped dredging for reasons to revive the friendship because both have each own ways of protecting themselves from pain and rejection. Human nature.