I took photos of my cats one sleepy evening when the sun was high and the felines were wrapped up in sleepy stupor, the kind that even humans weren't exempted from. And of course, rambled on stuff like sticky mind and beingness.
There was something in the humid air that made me want to run and hide in a cool cave forever but instead, spying on my cats took hold of my attention. I snapped photos of a surviving cactus in a ceramic pot filled with sand and some old corals collected from the nearest beach years ago. I miss the scent of the ocean, I thought. The thought gave birth to even more thoughts. I forgot all of them.
When emotions settle, we see the world neutrally. Have we sat down and actually given ourselves the genuine opportunity to do so?
I used to describe my mind as 'sticky' and never had I imagined once to have it deconstructed so beautifully as it happened by immersing myself in the collection of articles that articulated this experience so well. The mind was sticky because I felt whatever it felt so relentlessly not knowing there was a space to stay without identification and that my own chronic focus fueled the intensity, looping around on things that were past stories built on old conditioned thinking.
Now, I know that I am able to let go of being identified with these mental constructions, even as I go through various states of emotions. I can see the mind for what it is clearly now than before. It lifted a lot of layers of strong guilt, fear and apathy. My sensitive mind, one I judged as enemy now is a friend.
I let it think whatever thoughts. I know it can get noisy but I appreciate it more as a tool, instead of hinging on it exclusively as it can't ever know the full picture. Trusting in something beyond the mind, which rests in the flow of life, I internalize the wisdom in being, experiencing without the need to box elements of it with labels made of words, though there is a time for words (say, when I need to write for a living...). I find this freeing, though I don't do it for ease. I made up with my mind, so I can be my best.
I also realize one thing that I thought I had practiced before only then I was lost in the mind's stories during meditation and approached it far too mechanically. Meditation needn't be a technique used at certain allotted times, or like how prayers are done procedurally. Just being is a gift by the second we can all experience, regardless of where we are or what we're doing. Taking a chance on being by ourselves to fully know and connect with ourselves is vital. Funny that we hear it often how we should all take a chance on love, but always the attention is on another. Not that it's wrong, but we forget that to do that authentically, we must give it to ourselves.
The message I want to put out here is simple: If you are acutely aware of pain or suffering, realize you are right smack in the middle of detangling yourself from delusions. Be on that path. The journey is what you came here for. Venture forth.
A Mooji quote to wrap this post up:
Mind can come. All this world is minds. But something is not concerned with the calculating, interpreting tendency of the mind.