|"Life isn't so bad. It's not so bad."|
I should be doing school stuffs now, not to mention, next week will be extremely tedious for me. I rarely rant here, as I would like to look after myself whenever I would write in here. The words I've been using lately have somehow lost its verbosity. Anyhow, I don't know why I am writing at this moment. This strange twinge in my chest, perhaps, I've watched melodramatic series again these past few days. Too much of those stuffs plus the piano instrumentals that my heart could not withstand emotionally. I'm sorry that this entry is useless and vague in a way, because my thoughts are preoccupied but still I've decided to type them here. I'm selfish, I don't worry that few of my readers would be downright disappointed with this ugly entry, but I'll carry on anyway up to these lines.
Maybe, I was just being too hard about myself. These mood swings and all. Here I am, touching my life away, grumbling about the things that I am so incapable of. I know people should learn to look after themselves, somehow, so they wouldn't have to rely on other people all the time. The same goes for everyone. But there are times that I badly wish the earth could just swallow me whole. Then I think it was an indecent way to vanish in this world.
I like to become stronger for myself. I don't like gaudy words to cover up my resolve. I just wanted to make them happen on my own. So one day, when a person whose traits was once the same as mine when I used to be so fragile asks me how I've endured everything, I can share it to that person perhaps. For now, I just wanted to ponder so hardly until my eyes get tired and eventually get to sleep.
"Life isn't so bad. It's not so bad" - Sword Art Online