To not be too dramatic or something, but men, I'm hanging on by way of a thread. A a skinny, frayed thread precariously near to snapping. My existence isn't in jeopardy and there are much worse things to conflict, but talking about this as my conflict with sleeplessness feels fitting because I've been dealing with this on / off for a very long time. There's no rhyme. There's no rationale. I go to bed just like I do every other evening, except there's this one night I wait for rest also it will not come. Maybe Not that evening, or the next, or the next.
I went to see the Lion King on Sunday. It was so amusing and therefore good. Lions dancing, mountains going and is it possible to feel the love to night? I felt it. It was amazing , but I really could hardly keep my eyes open. Sunday matinee performances following a carb significant brunch as well as a mimosa will do to make anybody feel somewhat drowsy, but I was battling sleep nearly the whole time. Battling so difficult , that it was sort of distressing, which is been my life for going on fourteen days now. My eyes are glazed over and hefty inside my skull. I do not really have a head ache, but the the stress in My head pulses and the electricity it requires to keep my eyes open I want to sleep when I am being told by every cell within my body is nauseating.
I worked out six days last week. This week I am doing five. Working out has been non negotiable for so long that I am on auto pilot. No matter how exhausted I 'm, I take off my clothing and wiggle into a sports bra as soon as I walk in the door. I might as well work out. It Is not like I can sleep instead. I feel a temporary burst of power right after I work out, but by the time I Have showered and made my way downstairs for dinner, typically around 7:00ish, it is gone and I am crashing all over again. !
I can not rest, although I am exhausted.
I get into bed and lay down from about 8:30-9:00pm to 6:20am, thus according to my Healthy Touch I am sleeping, but I am not! When my alarm goes off in the morning I am already alert. I believe I am going to be fine, but by the time I get to work I do not understand how I Will make it. Over the week end I Did not wake up at 7:00am. I gave up at 7:00am because I was only putting there. I can not say I do not sleep at all, but whatever it is that's occurring is n't restful because it does not feel like sleep when I 'm conscious that I 'm laying in bed attempting to sleep. I do not understand how you dream without sleeping, but it occurs. You know those dreams when you're Conscious that you're dreaming and you feel kind of like you're caught in your own body observing yourself dream? It was like that.
My magic pill rx does not work and it is not because I Have been taking it too much. I learned that lesson the hard way last year after taking it Sunday through Thursday for months. My body accommodated.  ; It quit functioning and I 'd to rough it out on my own for a while. Since that bust finished I 've just used it sometimes, so I totally expected it to lull me to sleep. I eventually attempted melatonin two nighttime past. Who knew it came in flavors? The strawberry smelled so great I needed to eat it like sweet but I did not. I consumed one tablet and hoped for the greatest. No chance. I doubled it up last night. Some chance. I felt like I really went to sleep as in a not conscious that I 'm attempting to sleep heavy slumber for at least a few hours, but I believe I was conscious by 1:00am off and on. Valerian Root is on deck. Might as well attempt everything. !
I do not have children. I am assumed to be able when I need to sleep! I cannot function like this for much more, and yet I 've no alternative, but to function like this for as extended as it continues. Sleep deprivation is a kind of torture. This is torture! I do not feel as zombie like as I did yesterday, but sitting in front of a computer for eight hours isn't helpful, therefore it'll be another long day. !
Does anyone else struggle with sleeplessness on a regular basis? What works for you?