So far today, I’ve noticed 2 of these types of phrases after they spewed from my mouth. One directed towards my 2 year old daughter, Kaiya and the other one directed towards my 1 year old daughter, Phaedra.
Let’s start with Kaiya.
“KAIYA!!! YOUR MOMMY’S THONG IS NOT A SCARF!!! PUT IT BACK ON THE LAUNDRY PILE SO I CAN FINISH FOLDING THE REST OF THESE SCARFS! I MEAN THONGS!! UGH, I MEAN LAUNDRY!!!”
Pretty self-explanatory. I was folding some laundry and looked up to see Kaiya with her mommy’s thong wrapped around her neck like a scarf. It was kind of cute, for she was looking in the mirror, posing, scoping out how she looked with what she seemed to think was a scarf… Therefore, it was a bit disheartening putting a damper on things for her…but still, she needs to learn that her mommy’s thongs are NOT scarfs. To make things worse, I couldn’t seem to spit out the word, “laundry” until after I had already accidentally spewed the words, “scarfs” and “thongs.” Haha, it cracks me up, thinking about folding a big pile of scarfs and a big pile of thongs.
Now for Phaedra.
“PHAEDRA!!! HOLY SHUCKY-DARNS!!! PUT DOWN DADDY’S MEDICINE BALL RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU GET HURT!!! That is NOT a toy!!! That is a fitness ball for working out! You are only 1 so you are WAY too young to be working out!!! Plus, it’s dangerous, sweetie!!! PHAEDRA…SERIOUSLY!!! PUT….DOWN…DADDY’S….MEDICINE BALL!!!”
So I’m watching the Chiefs vs. Raiders game (GO CHIEFS!!! SET THE RECORD FOR LOUDEST STADIUM EVER TODAY!!!) and I glance to the left side of the couch to see 1 year old, Phaedra holding a 15 pound medicine ball (which I had hidden behind the couch, but she had gotten to it and drug it out somehow) as if it were nothing. My first reaction was panic, which was reflected in my initial word, which was, “PHAEDRA!!!” The following thought/feeling was utter shock and amazement. My 1 year old daughter is a beast. Just unbelievably strong for a 1 year old girl. She gets it from me…not to brag, but I am so naturally strong without having to give any effort that it’s just weird. As strong as I know Phaedra is though, I didn’t expect her to be merely capable of budging a 15 lb. medicine ball, let alone holding it as if it were light as a feather. That is where the “HOLY SHUCKY-DARNS” came from… it was a combination of being shocked at her strength along with my attempt at trying to not say the word, “shit.” Then I followed by being too verbose in trying to explain things, which I’m guilty of often, by stating “PUT DOWN DADDY’S MEDICINE BALL RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU GET HURT!!! That is NOT a toy!!! That is a fitness ball for working out! You are only 1 so you are WAY too young to be working out!!! Plus, it’s dangerous, sweetie!!!” I think a more appropriate response would have been to just run towards her and grab the medicine ball from her, but no, I had to over-explain things…as I am ironically doing right now, in this post. When I noticed that she was still standing there holding the ball, motioning as if she were going to throw it, that is when I panicked again, as reflected by, “PHAEDRA…SERIOUSLY!!! PUT….DOWN….DADDY’S….MEDICINE BALL!!!” Unbelievable…
And yes, I put the medicine ball in a more secure place (a storage room). When I put that medicine ball behind the couch, the thought of my girls being capable of dragging it out, let alone picking it up and holding it, didn’t occur to me…I didn’t think it was physically possible. Golly-golly-golly, I have some doozies for daughters on my hands. I love them so much.